The Forever Song

by Julie Kagawa

  “It wasn’t a nightmare, then.”

  I swallowed. His voice was low, flat. The tone used when you’re so numb you can’t feel anything anymore. When you’ve been so cut open from the inside, you’ve completely bled out, and there’s nothing left. Fear twisted my stomach. This was going to be hard. For Zeke, it might be impossible.

  “No,” I told him simply. “It wasn’t.”

  I waited, dreading his next words, that he might ask me to take my sword and end his life. Or that I leave so he could do it himself.

  “Where are Jackal and Kanin?” he finally asked, surprising me. “Did you come here alone?”

  I nodded. “Yes, but they’re okay. At least, I think they are.” Briefly, I searched for them again, feeling two separate pulls, coming from the same direction. “I can feel both of them, through our blood tie. Jackal was pretty badly hurt when… when we fled the tower the first time, and we got separated. Kanin went back to look for him.”

  “So I didn’t manage to kill him after all,” Zeke muttered, and I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed. I suspected the latter. I also suspected this stoic front Zeke was putting up was a horrible lie, that underneath he was a writhing mess of emotions, and it worried me.

  “Are you all right?” I asked. My gaze flicked to the back of his shirt, and the tiny hole in it, right over his heart. Where I had shoved Kanin’s knife through his body. “How are you feeling?”

  “Hungry.” Stated so bluntly that I shivered. This wasn’t right. I hadn’t expected Zeke to be perfectly fine when he woke up, far from it, but this utter lack of emotion wasn’t him. I hoped it was just the shock, and he would eventually start acting more like himself again. Though now that he was a vampire, I didn’t know what “normal” was for him anymore.

  I had the sudden, disconcerting thought that, maybe, this was the real Zeke now that he was a vampire. I certainly had changed from the time I’d become undead; maybe the old Zeke, the human Zeke, really was gone forever.

  “Starving, actually,” Zeke went on, oblivious to my dark thoughts. “And that’s a problem, now that I don’t control the army anymore. Sarren put me in charge when he left, but I’m not their boss any longer. Once they find out I can’t give them what they want, they’ll try to kill me, too.”

  “They don’t know that,” I said. “No one has been here, no one knows what happened last night. As far as anyone can tell, I entered the Pit and never came out again. They probably think you killed me.”

  Zeke flinched. It was small, barely noticeable since he was turned away from me, but I saw it.

  Sliding forward, I reached out and put a hand on his back. “I’m still here,” I said softly. “We beat Sarren’s sick little game, and he has no hold on you anymore.”

  I hope. I desperately hoped the compulsion was broken and Zeke was truly free. But if not, if Zeke fell under Sarren’s control again, then I would snap him out of it one more time. And again, and again. As often as I had to, until Sarren was dead.

  “Allie.” Zeke bowed his head, and his shoulders trembled. I felt him take a deep breath, as if to compose himself, a reflex left over from his time as a human. “I know we have to stop Sarren,” he continued, his voice a little stronger. “I know that’s the most important thing now, that putting an end to his plans takes precedence over everything else, even my own feelings. I know that, and I’m with you. Don’t worry about that part.” He shivered again, though his voice remained calm. “I’ll go with you to Eden, and I don’t intend to stop fighting until I know Sarren is dead. But after that, after I’m sure everyone is safe and Sarren is gone…” Zeke paused, now uncertain. “I…I don’t know if I can do this. If I even want to try.” He hesitated again, then in a near whisper, added, “You might have to…”

  “Stop it,” I growled at him. “You’ve asked me this before, and it nearly killed me to say yes. I won’t let you become a monster. I’ll fight it with you every step of the way. But I will not help you destroy yourself.”

  “I never wanted this,” Zeke said harshly, clenching his fists. “I would’ve rather died, and Sarren knew that. His evil is still inside me. What if it turns on you? What if I can’t help being more like Sarren than like you and Kanin?”

  Having Sarren for a sire was something I couldn’t even imagine, and it made me feel cold inside. “It doesn’t work like that, Zeke,” I told him, praying I was right. “And even if that was the case, you still have the choice to fight it. To not be like him.”

  “And if I’m not strong enough?”

  “I don’t believe that for a second.”

  He shook his head. “You have more faith in me than I do, vampire girl,” he murmured, almost to himself. “I hope you don’t come to regret it.”

  “Boss!”

  The shout came from below, rough and guttural. It was followed by another voice, both sounding rather desperate. Zeke raised his head at the sound, and his eyes gleamed. Hunger rippled across his features, and he shook himself before breaking away and rising to his feet.

  “Raiders,” he muttered. “They probably saw you come in last night and are wondering which one of us is dead.”

  As he said this, there was a burst of gunfire outside, making both of us jerk up. Almost instinctively, I reached out with my blood tie and felt two pulses, very close, coming from the same direction as the shots.

  “Kanin,” I whispered. “Jackal. What are they doing here? They were supposed to wait for us outside the city.”

  “Looks like they came back for you,” Zeke said. Reaching to his back holster, he took out his pistol and checked the clip with a frown. “Three bullets left,” he muttered. “And I don’t have my blade. Do you?”

  I shook my head. My katana was on the first floor where I’d dropped it, frantic to stop Zeke from killing himself. I still had Kanin’s dagger, but I really wanted my sword. Zeke nodded grimly, and holstered the gun again.

  “Nothing for it, then. Let’s go.”

  “Zeke, wait.”

  He ignored me and swept across the room. I followed him out the door into an open corridor where the entire wall had fallen away, showing the yawning crater several floors down. I hurried forward just as Zeke dropped from the edge of the balcony into the pit below. Frantic voices drifted up from the bottom, and I walked silently to the edge, gazing down.

  “Boss!” Almost directly below, two large, brutish men suddenly turned, guns in hand, and rushed toward Zeke. I followed them, unseen, from above. “Hey, we got a situation,” one said, not seeming to notice the way Zeke was advancing on him, eyes hard. “You need to get out there, right now.” There was another burst of gunfire, closer this time, followed by a desperate yell. The raiders flinched and glanced back toward the walls.

  “The vamps are here, boss,” the second human gasped. “The little bitch’s friends are coming. Our old king. We tried holding them off, but they got into the city somehow and are on their way right now—”

  He didn’t get any further. Zeke pounced on him with a snarl, driving him into the floor with a splash and a terrified shriek. The other yelled and raised his gun, but I dropped from the balcony and hit him from behind, burying my fangs in his throat. Hot blood filled my mouth, soothing and wonderful. There was no guilt this time. I kept drinking until there was nothing left, until the body was a limp sack of meat and bones, drained and lifeless.

  Letting the corpse slump to the water, I looked around for Zeke.

  He rose slowly, fangs out, watching his own raider’s body sink below the water’s surface and disappear. I kept a close eye on his face, waiting for the disgust and loathing to hit, for the horror of what he’d done to sink in, but there was nothing. His expression remained blank, his eyes flat, and my stomach twisted.

  Shots boomed close by. I jerked, then searched frantically for my weapon, trying to spot the shine of steel beneath the water. I found my katana right where I’d left it, dropped when Zeke had kicked me in the chest. The fabric around the hilt was soak
ed through, but it seemed perfectly fine otherwise. I flicked water off the blade before sheathing it again. Zeke’s machete lay a few yards away, glimmering in the spot where he’d knelt and waited for me to end his life. He sloshed over to pick up the weapon before turning to me, his expression still blank and cold.

  “Let’s go.”

  We started across the pit but had taken only a few steps when gunfire boomed along the balcony seats above us, flaring white, and a second later, a familiar roar shook the darkness. Pistol fire barked, fast and frantic. A scream, and then the scent of blood filled the air a moment before a body dropped from the balcony and hit the water with a splash. I tried not to notice that its head was missing as a tall, bloody figure stepped out of the shadows to the edge of the balcony and smirked down at us.

  “Oh, good,” Jackal remarked, his dangerous gold gaze fixed not on me, but on Zeke. “You’re still alive.”

  He leaped from the balcony, making a splash when he landed, and grinned demonically as he rose, fangs gleaming. “I was hoping you’d be here,” he said, glaring at Zeke. “No one takes what’s mine and gets away with it, not even you, bloodbag. When I’m done, you’re gonna wish you stayed dead the first time.”

  A pair of raiders appeared where Jackal had been moments before. Seeing their former king, they leveled automatic machine guns into the pit and fired, spraying the water with lead. Jackal snarled, sounding more irritated than anything, and we ducked behind rubble piles as bullets hissed around us and sparked off the stones.

  Abruptly, the gunfire ceased. I peeked out to see another body drop into the crater as Kanin snapped the neck of the other from behind. More shouts echoed behind him, and the Master vampire melted back into the darkness.

  Kanin is here, too? I thought as a growl echoed behind me. I whirled just in time to see Jackal lunge behind our section of wall, shoving me aside as he did. I hit the ground and rolled upright as my brother grabbed Zeke by the throat, turned, and slammed him into the broken stones. His face was vicious as he leaned in, smiling.

  “You know, I didn’t always hate you,” Jackal said, as Zeke grabbed his wrists, trying to pry him off. “But I think I’d like you better if you were a little shorter. Maybe a head shorter, wha’d’ya say, bloodbag?”

  I drew my sword, intending to leap in and force Jackal to back the hell off. But at that moment, Zeke bared his fangs with a savagely inhuman snarl and drove a fist into Jackal’s ribs. I heard the distinct snap of bones, and Jackal jerked, grunting in pain. Before I could respond, Zeke spun and rammed the other vampire into the concrete, slamming his head into the rock with another sickening crack, before shoving him away. Jackal slumped into the water, holding his side, and I grabbed Zeke’s arm.

  He turned on me, and his eyes were cold. Merciless. The monster, staring back at me. It sent an icy lance through my insides, and I dropped his arm, resisting the urge to back up. Zeke’s gaze shifted away as if he’d forgotten me, and I shivered with the sudden realization. For a split second, for the very first time, I had been afraid of him.

  On the ground, Jackal started to laugh.

  “Oh, yeah,” he wheezed, rolling into a sitting position, one hand still around his ribs. His eyes still glowed as he stared at Zeke, appraising. “I forgot. The little bloodbag joined the undead club a few weeks ago. Now he can throw a proper punch. My mistake.” He rose, shedding water, and gave himself a shake, glaring at Zeke with his fangs out. “I won’t forget again.”

  “Jackal, stop it.” Shaking myself out of my daze, I stepped in front of Zeke, my katana between him and my blood brother. Zeke didn’t move; I could sense him watching us, patient and calculating, the monster barely restrained. I had the sudden, disturbing thought that this Zeke could be worse than the one Sarren had created, and violently shoved it back. “This is stupid. You can see he’s not under the compulsion anymore.”

  “I see that,” Jackal agreed, his smile no less ominous. “It’s not going to stop me from tearing him in half. Like I mentioned before, I’m kind of a sore loser.”

  He stepped forward, and I did, too, raising my weapon. Shots still echoed around us, getting closer all the time, but I trusted that Kanin was still out there, taking care of the raiders. I couldn’t worry about them now, not until I was sure Zeke and my blood brother wouldn’t try to kill each other. Again.

  “Take your city, if you want it,” Zeke said. “It’s yours, I’ll gladly turn it over.”

  “Oh, will you, bloodbag?” Jackal sneered. “That’s awfully generous of you. But you’re missing the point.” He gestured back at the balcony. “I don’t give a shit about this place, or the minions. I can get more if I really need to. They were always just a means to an end.” He narrowed his eyes. “But I’ll be damned if I let any spawn of Sarren’s share space with me. That kind of crazy sneaks up on you when you least expect it, and everyone around you suddenly has their throats cut.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” I argued, and Jackal shot me a disgusted look. “He’s fine, Jackal. He’s not a threat anymore.” And even if he is, I’m not going to let you kill him now.

  “If you believe that, then you’re more gullible than I thought.” Jackal shook his head. “Stop trying to fool yourself, sister. You know what’s happening here. You’re not that stupid.” He jerked his head in Zeke’s direction. “Look at him. Take a good, long look at your precious Ezekiel and tell me he’s exactly the same. But I bet you can’t stare lovingly into his eyes for two seconds without seeing Sarren looking right back at you.”

  I shuddered, and Jackal nodded slowly. “You know I’m right, sister. His mind is broken. It’s only a matter of time before it falls apart. I’m not killing him because he screwed up my city, took my minions, and, frankly, pissed me off. I’m putting him out of his misery.” He gave an evil, indulgent smile. “Consider this a mercy. Like shooting a threelegged deer.”

  “No,” I growled and moved with Jackal as he came forward again, my katana raised. My mind was made up. “You want him, you’ll have to go through me.”

  Jackal’s face twisted like he’d swallowed something foul. “I’m surrounded by bleeding heart idiots,” he muttered. “Sister, you realize you’re protecting Sarren’s progeny. The Grand Lunatic himself? For all we know, this is exactly what the psychopath wants.”

  “I don’t believe that,” I retorted, as gunfire nearly drowned out my words, making me wince. The army was almost here. I didn’t have a lot of time to convince them—both of them, Zeke and Jackal—that Zeke wasn’t like his sire. Even if I was horribly unsure myself.

  “Allison.” Zeke finally spoke up from behind me, and his voice was resigned. I knew exactly what he was thinking, and snarled at him without taking my eyes from my brother.

  “Zeke, don’t you dare start with that!”

  “What if he’s right?”

  “I don’t care!” I roared, baring my fangs at them both. “I will not watch you die again. I promised I’d help you fight it, and I swear I’m going to kill Sarren. But you’re going to have to trust me, Zeke! And you,” I said to Jackal, jabbing at him with my sword. “You’re one to talk. You want to Turn your whole army into vampires. If they’re anything like you, you’ll have to watch your back every second of every day. I may not know much about sires and offspring, but I know there’s always a choice. You don’t have to be like your sire. I mean, look at you.” I narrowed my eyes at Jackal, curling my lip in a sneer. “Kanin Turned you, and you still became a bastard.”

  “Boss!”

  Gunfire rang out once more. I tensed as a horde of raiders swarmed the room from above, pointing their weapons down into the pit. It seemed the rest of the army had finally caught up. Gripping my sword, I quickly gauged the distance between myself and the balcony, and winced. I was going to get pumped full of lead before this was over.

  “Minions, stand the fuck down!”

  I jumped as Jackal’s voice boomed throughout the chamber, bouncing off rafters and making the water vibrate. It
rang through my head, compelling and powerful, and amazingly, whether it was from force of habit or the intensity in Jackal’s voice, the humans froze.

  “That’s better.” The raider king gave us all a supremely exasperated look and crossed his arms. “I could hardly think anymore, with all the gunfire and screaming. Party’s over, boys,” he stated, his clear voice carrying through the stunned silence. “Your new king and I have had a little talk. We’ve decided you worthless meatsacks aren’t worth dying over, and it’s better for everyone if we come to an understanding.” He turned and gave Zeke a pointed look, raising his eyebrows. “Fifty-fifty split sound about right to you, partner?”

  He curled a lip on the last word, as if the thought of sharing was deplorable. But Zeke gazed at him and the raiders without interest and shrugged. “I don’t care. Do what you want. Sarren is gone, and I’m through with this place.”

  I swallowed hard. The emptiness in Zeke’s voice was even worse than the sadistic taunting, and for a moment, Jackal’s warning cast a dark shadow over my thoughts.

  “Which means you minions,” Jackal added, sauntering up to Zeke and draping an elbow over his shoulder, a gesture which was ignored, “are in a flying shitload of trouble. Too bad you didn’t think of that before deciding to stage this little coup. Not that it’s terribly surprising, but I’m a little pissed off at the lot of you right now.” He smiled, all fangs, as the humans shifted apprehensively. “But, hey, I’m a reasonable guy. I’ll offer you bloodbags the same deal as before—follow me, and have a shot at becoming immortal. Refuse, and the three of us—” he gestured to me and Zeke “—will systematically rip the heads from your bodies and send you to a worse hell than this one. Your choice.” He chuckled, vicious and eager, and glanced at something over their heads. “But if you meatsacks think you have a shot at taking out three very annoyed vampires and one stuck-up Master, then by all means, let’s get this massacre started.”