The Forever Song

by Julie Kagawa

  “I have to go,” I told him, and his head bobbed very slightly. “Will you be all right?”

  “Yes.” His voice was soft, but almost normal. I reluctantly let him go, and he hesitated before adding, “Allie…thank you.”

  I wanted to say more, but I felt the weight of Kanin’s gaze on us both. So I lightly touched Zeke’s shoulder and went, leaving him alone at the edge of the water, worry and sorrow still heavy on my mind.

  The Master vampire waited for me at the end of the dock, watching as I approached. As usual, he gave no hints to his thoughts or feelings, though I was surprised he’d sought me out. Usually, my sire was the silent, neutral observer, leaving me and Jackal to our own devices—until our bickering got too annoying, anyway. I wondered why he’d chosen tonight to come after me.

  “Come,” he said simply, when I finally joined him at the edge of the wooden planks. “There is work to be done. Follow me.”

  “Work?” I frowned and hurried after my sire, jogging to keep up with his long strides. “What work? What are you talking about?”

  “The people here have lost a great deal,” Kanin said without looking at me, heading toward the main street and the huge tent city clustered beyond. “There are too many in need and very few with the resources to help. There are things that we can do to alleviate that.”

  “Why me?” We passed the hospital, where a pair of soldiers nodded to Kanin but eyed me with wary suspicion. Kanin smiled humorlessly.

  “I would not ask James,” he replied, making me snort. “And Ezekiel needs some time alone. There is only so much you can do for him, Allison. He must come to terms with this loss himself.” His voice turned slightly grave. “Also, I fear with four vampires here, Eden might not come away completely unscathed. We might have to feed soon, so let this be part of that compensation. I only hope it does not come down to that.”

  Kanin and I worked through the night. The most pressing concern was the wall that kept out the rabids; there were places that had weakened with the relentless attacks and were in danger of crumbling entirely. The humans watched us come and go without suspicion, unaware of the monsters in their midst. After a few hours of fortifying the defenses, Kanin volunteered me for guard duty, watching the road for stragglers and making sure the rabids couldn’t claw their way in. As I sat atop one of the towers, gazing down at the hissing, writhing mass outside the gates, I wondered if the real reason Kanin was doing this was to keep me away from Zeke. Maybe not with the intention to separate us, but to keep me occupied and to give Zeke a chance to deal with this loss alone. Maybe that was the best thing for him now.

  Or maybe not. Maybe Kanin’s reasons were as he said— payment for the harm four vampires might bring to the community. Or perhaps it was something else. I didn’t know. My sire had always been inscrutable, and I’d given up trying to figure him out.

  About an hour before dawn, I was relieved of sentry duty, and I returned to the hospital. In the quiet stillness before sunrise, most of the tent city was asleep, huddled between blankets and family members, their misery forgotten for a while.

  As I headed toward the front door, a hint of fresh blood came to me over the breeze. Frowning, I followed it around a corner, where Jackal leaned casually against the outside wall, cloaked in shadow, his yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. He smelled of blood, but clean and untainted with chemicals, unlike the bandaged, wounded patrons in the hospital. I desperately hoped he hadn’t eaten one of them. My Hunger perked up with a growl, and I shoved it back.

  “Oh, hey, sister.” Jackal grinned at me, then took something out of his duster: a plastic bag full of dark liquid. “Did they finally release you from manual labor? A vampire working for the sheep—how positively nauseating. If I were you, I would’ve told the old man to go sit on a campfire. But, hey, better you than me.” He gave me a mocking salute, then bit into the plastic. I frowned.

  “Where did you get that? No one here knows you’re a vampire.”

  He pulled his fangs from the bag and smirked at me with bloody lips. “It’s amazing what you can find if you go poking around back rooms when no one’s looking,” he answered. “Found this hanging in a fridge, and I got Hungry. Want one, sister?” He lifted the bag, and a few red drops fell to the ground, making my stomach churn with Hunger. “There’s still a couple left, last I checked.” He peered at me again, then arched a brow. “What’s that look for?”

  “Nothing,” I said, smiling. “Just never thought I’d see you choose a bloodbag over a human to feed from. Are we finally rubbing off on the big, bad raider king?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m a vampire, sister. I’m not stupid. If one of these meatsacks up and vanishes without a trace, who are they going to blame first? We don’t need the heavily armed, vampire-hating soldiers poking around and asking questions, and it’s so tedious to dispose of a large pile of corpses. But not to worry.” He settled against the wall, crossing his long legs, and bared his fangs in a smile. “After we stop Sarren, I fully intend to indulge in a nice killing spree to get this taste out of my mouth, so don’t think you’ve defanged me quite yet.”

  I grinned. “If you say so. James.”

  He glared at me. “Shouldn’t you be saving orphans with the puppy right now? Or pretending to be interested in Kanin’s stories? Go bother someone else for a while.”

  Triumphant, I turned away, preparing to leave. “Where are Kanin and Zeke?”

  “Hell if I know. Last I saw the old man, he was talking to the mayor, making plans to leave tomorrow and all that shit. They didn’t look like they needed me, and besides, I was bored.” Jackal took a long swig from the bag. “So I thought I’d do my own exploring. Oh, and by the way, they cleared out a room for you so you don’t have to share the common area with the sickies. Guess having a vampire in the hospital made them a bit nervous after all.” He waved the bag at me, arching his brows. “Sure you don’t want one, sister? You could split it with the puppy over candlelight.”

  I walked into the hospital, leaving Jackal outside with his stolen blood. The rooms were quiet now, most of the humans sleeping, only a couple nurses milling around the beds, checking on patients. They ignored me as I made my way through the halls, not really knowing where I was going. I wondered if I should go look for Zeke, but figured I’d leave him alone tonight. Maybe he was weary of my constant hovering. Dawn was less than an hour away, and I was tired. Zeke knew I was here; if he wanted to talk, he would come to me.

  I finally stopped a nurse in the corridor and asked where my room was. She pointed me in the right direction, then fled, hurrying around a corner as quickly as she could. So, apparently, some of the humans here knew of the vampire wandering the grounds. Hopefully, they’d keep that knowledge from the rest of the patients. I could only imagine what a mob of scared, panicked humans might do if they realized a vampire was sleeping in the room next door.

  I walked into my room, which happened to be a large storage closet with a bed in the corner, and froze when I saw a figure leaning against a shelf, waiting for me.

  “Zeke?” I blinked as the door swung shut behind me. “What are you doing here—”

  Zeke took three steps forward, took me gently in his arms, and pressed his lips to mine. Shocked, I stiffened, but only for a moment. Then my arms snaked around his waist, and I leaned into him as he pulled me close. His mouth worked against mine, gentle but insistent, almost desperate. I could feel the hard cords of muscles in his back, in his arms, like steel bands dragging me closer. His hands rose to tangle in my hair, and I sighed against his lips, feeling a different hunger rise up, burning through my veins. I wanted to tip my head back, baring my throat, but Zeke held me so tight, it was all I could do to kiss him.

  When he pulled back, I was a little dazed. His arms were still around me, pressing me close, and didn’t feel like they would loosen anytime soon. I looked up at him, meeting that intense stare, and gave him a puzzled smile. “What was that about?” I whispered.

  Zeke touc
hed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “That was me…finally realizing what’s important.” He sighed, his voice full of regret. “It shouldn’t have taken me this long, but it seems I’ve always had trouble seeing what was right in front of me. I guess…” His brow furrowed, and he shivered. “I guess everything had to be taken away for me to get it.”

  “Zeke…”

  He pulled back, his eyes tormented as the stared into mine. “Eden is gone,” he said, making my stomach clench. “My home has been destroyed, and my family…is probably dead. And I’m a vampire. I’ve lost almost everything.” His grip tightened painfully, his gaze almost desperate. “I can’t lose you, too.”

  “You’re not going to lose me,” I said, feeling my eyes prickle. “I’ve told you that before, Zeke. I’m here. I’ve been right here the whole time.”

  “I know,” he choked out. “God knows I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a second chance, but…I can’t imagine my life without you, Allie.” His hand rose, pressing against my cheek, his eyes bright with emotion. “You’re the only person that makes me feel human again. When I’m with you, I can actually see a future. One that isn’t full of blood and death, one that I can live with.” He paused, his voice soft but determined. “I can’t change what I’ve done, but I can try to make things better. I want to live, and I want to spend forever with you. If…if you want it. If you want me around that long.”

  I swallowed hard to clear my throat. “You’ve always had me, Ezekiel,” I managed, meeting his bright blue stare. “Time never mattered. Vampire or human, if we had forever or just a few years, I’d always choose to spend it with you.”

  He blinked, and his palm traced a searing path down my cheek, his gaze intense. “I love you, Allison,” he whispered, making my stomach twist into a knot. “With everything in me—heart, mind and soul. Even Sarren couldn’t take that away. Even when I was on that table, screaming and wishing I was dead, all I could think of was you. You’ve been with me every step of the way, and you never wavered, even when I was ready to give up. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to figure it out.” He took one of my hands, holding it to his chest, his gaze never leaving mine. “So, this is me, all of me, forever. No more looking back. No more regrets. From now on, vampire girl—” he lowered his head, brushing his lips across my skin “—I’m all yours.”

  My throat closed up, and my eyes went blurry. Relief and emotion rushed through me, making me want to laugh, cry and hug him all at once, but all I could manage was a weak smirk and a strangled “It’s about damn time.”

  Zeke blinked, then, very slowly, he smiled. A real smile, one I hadn’t seen since that horrible night when he had died. And for a moment, everything Sarren had done to him, to us, fell away completely, and he was the same boy I’d met in that abandoned town: charming, determined, ever hopeful. Leaning in, he kissed me, long and deep, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He backed us up until I was against the wall, rough concrete pressing into my coat, feeling every part of him against me and needing more. His lips trailed a path from my mouth to my jaw and neck; I gasped and arched my head back, feeling the lightest scrape of fangs against my skin. And that hunger flared up again.

  With a growl, I shoved away from the wall, pushing him toward the bed in the corner of the room. He sank easily onto the mattress, taking me down with him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I set my elbows on either side of his head and kissed him, feeling his hands slide over my back, skimming under my coat. The dark, tattered material was suddenly too constricting; I pulled back and shrugged out of it, letting it drop to the floor. Zeke gazed up at me, blue eyes serene, no traces of doubt or fear shadowing his face.

  “Allie.” His voice was a breath, a quiet murmur, as I dropped to kiss him again, pressing my lips to his jaw. He groaned and arched his head back, baring his throat, and I felt my fangs lengthen in response. He was so close, the scent and feel of him filling my senses, but I wanted to be closer. I wanted all of him, all he could give, and everything I could offer. No more barriers. Tonight, Zeke was mine, and nothing would take that away.

  I bent to his neck, kissing his throat, barely pricking his skin with my fangs. As Zeke groaned again, my hand slipped under his shirt, tracing his skin. He gasped, and I started to push up the fabric.

  “Wait,” Zeke whispered, sounding breathless. I pulled back to look at him, my lips just inches from his own. “Allison,” he said, though his eyes were slightly glazed and the tips of his fangs glinted as he spoke. “We don’t have to do this. It doesn’t have to be tonight.” His hand rose, pressing against my cheek, his eyes never leaving my face. “We have forever to figure this out,” he said gently, “if it’s not the right time…”

  I resisted the urge to bare my fangs. “The last time we chose to wait, Ezekiel, you died.” He flinched, his eyes darkening with the memory, and I clenched a fist in his shirt. “Not that I have any intention of losing you again, but right now, we’re up against a madman who has a pretty good head start on creating another apocalypse. He’s not taking this away.” I did bare my fangs then, a gesture of defiance. “If the world ends tomorrow,” I whispered fiercely, “if these really are the final days, then I’ll be damned if I have any regrets.”

  Zeke’s eyes gleamed. Without warning, he reached up and pulled my head down to his, crushing our lips together. Before I could react, he abruptly shifted and flipped us over so that I landed on the mattress with a thump, blinking in surprise. I’d forgotten how strong he was now. He kissed me deeply, then trailed his lips down my neck, making me gasp and arch into him. My blood thrummed, surging through my veins. I wanted him to bite me, to sink his fangs into my throat. I ached to feel him again, like his soul had merged with mine and I knew every tiny corner of his mind and heart.

  I growled, clutching him close, and Zeke responded with a growl of his own, his lips on my mouth, my neck, tracing a path down my middle. I gasped and tore at his shirt, pulling it over his head. More clothes followed, both of us almost frantic to shed them, to get as close to the other as we could. When nothing separated us, I ran my hands over his scarred back, down his tightly muscled arms, and over his lean chest, trying to memorize him with my touch.

  Zeke pulled back, his face hovering close to mine, his stare bright and his fangs fully extended.

  “Say you love me, vampire girl,” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “Tell me…that this is forever.”

  “I love you,” I said immediately. “And if we have forever, there’s no one else I want to spend it with.”

  He lowered himself onto me, and I bit my lip, digging my nails into his back. It hurt, but I’d felt far worse pain then this. As he bent to kiss me again, I closed my eyes, surrendering to sensation. We were so close; it felt like I was on fire, heat singing through my veins. But there was still something missing.

  Closer, I thought through the haze. Get closer, Zeke. It isn’t enough.

  Zeke suddenly clutched me tight, a breathless growl escaping him. As I gasped, arching my head back, he bent his head and finally sank his fangs into my throat.

  I cried out, gripping his shoulders, a hundred emotions coursing through me. I felt him everywhere, within and without. I felt his fear, the desperation that he might lose me, either to Sarren’s hand or his own failings, and then he’d be left to deal with the monster he’d become, alone. I felt his anger, his rage at his sire, the demon who’d destroyed his family, who had hurt so many people and wasn’t finished yet. His determination to succeed, to keep as many people safe as he could. And…his love for me, intense and powerful and almost frightening. It was an endless well, a cocoon that wrapped around us both, warm and strong and intoxicating. It brought tears to my eyes, and they spilled down my cheeks as I lay there, unable to move. Not wanting to move. Willing to stay here like this, forever.

  Zeke pulled back, retracting his fangs, and gazed down at me. I met his eyes and saw they were a little red, too.

  “I never…though
t it would be like that,” he whispered in an awed voice. Placing a hand on my cheek, he trailed his finger down the red tracks, his expression anxious. “Are you all right?” he asked. “Did I hurt you?”

  I reached for him, sliding my fingers into the hair at the base of his skull. “Come here,” I whispered, tugging him toward me. He complied instantly, and when he bent down, I rose off the mattress, lifted my face to his neck, and sank my fangs into the side of his throat.

  Zeke gasped. His blood flowed over my tongue, hot and sweet and powerful, searing through my veins. I sensed every emotion from him once more, feeling his blood mingle with mine, merging us together. Zeke trembled, holding me close, eyes shut in complete surrender.

  When I pulled back, dawn had broken the horizon outside; I could feel the light just beginning to spill over the trees and the rest of the world. Retracting my fangs, I gazed sleepily up at Zeke, who met my stare with a look of complete adoration.

  We didn’t need to say anything. Bending down, Zeke placed a gentle kiss on my lips and settled behind me, pulling the covers over us both. I leaned into him, feeling his blood and emotions swirl through me, drowning even the monster, and for the first time since the death of my mom when I was ten years old, I relaxed completely in someone else’s arms.

  I awoke lying on my side under the covers, a cool, solid weight pressed against my back, Zeke’s arm curled tightly around my waist. The room was still; no sounds filtered in from the lighted crack below the door, and by my internal clock, the sun had just gone down. My sword lay abandoned and forgotten under the bed, my clothes in a crumpled heap beside it. Normally my weapon would be the first thing I checked when I woke up, but right now, it didn’t seem that important.