Catch My Breath

by Wendy L. Wilson

  Taking in the pull-tug and fumble war she has going on with her swimsuit strings, I slide back to the stall behind her to help out. Wish granted … again. Intentionally brushing my hand over her shoulders as I take my time tying it back together, I stare at her delicate skin with a hunger inside of me that is so strong it may very well leap out of my body and take on a life of its own.

  I pull the string taut, my chest tightening along with it. If I had it my way, we would have just left it off. I’d really like to turn her around and have her naked chest pressed against mine again.

  Blowing out a breath to steer off the arousal that is rushing up on me, I lean in closer to her.

  “Do you want to go down to the lake and swim? We could join up with the guys,” I suggest, feeling greedy and hoping she will say no because I really don’t want to share her company. “Honestly, I don’t care. I just want to spend the afternoon with you.” I tell her the absolute truth.

  For all I care we could hole up in the shower house for the rest of the day, especially since we have firsthand experience of what potentially lies beyond those doors now. I run both my hands over her shoulders and down her arms until my hands are woven around her waist in an embrace. She quickly flips around in my arms to face me, her eyes falling on the ridiculous smile that has been carved across my face since she walked in today. Sliding her arms around my neck, she pulls herself against me with a playful gleam in her eyes.

  “Me too.” It’s the only words she says, but it is enough assurance to rocket my ego to the moon.

  After a prolonged moment of looking into her eyes, a couple stray nibbles to her neck and so many swipes of my hands across her bare skin, my heart is on the verge of exploding and my fingertips and lips have become addicted to the satin texture of her skin. Reluctantly, we separate and go about finishing up my workload that truly could not have gotten done without her help. Where the hell did this girl come from, is all that keeps buzzing through my head.

  “So … ” I pause before speaking. So far, neither one of us have said much. It’s almost as if both of us are wondering the same thing, yet too afraid to speak. Was that too fast?! However, there is still so much I want to know about her. “I never asked before … how long are you staying?”

  She unravels each curtain and carefully places them on their new shiny brass curtain rod before moving onto the next. Meanwhile, I busy myself wiping up the spilled paint with the roller until it is nice and smooth.

  “One week.” She glances over at me as I stop rolling and stare at her. Damn … that’s one week less than me. “You?”

  Shaking my head to knock myself out of my thoughts, I continue rolling in the last of the paint mess that I literally could kiss to show my appreciation for.

  “Up until the fifth.”

  She looks at me with an equal amount of disappointment as I’m sure is clouding my own eyes.

  “I can get the last one.”

  I grab the last vinyl curtain and snap each ring into place while Alyssa stands beside me working on the opposite end. After it is up, we gather all the supplies and put them near the door. The storage shed is a bit of a hike so having everything easily accessible and not scattered helps aid in the clean up process, plus I’m in a hurry to just have a lazy afternoon with her.

  But no sooner than we step outside to get the ladder, we find Evan sitting idly by the edge of the dock. As soon as he turns his smartass face our way, I know he is going to embarrass her. One glance at me with a quick getting-busy-in-the-shower-house smirk on his face and I’m ready to grab her and race off. Luckily, she stands her ground as he pesters her. We all end up laughing and I take the opportunity to hold onto her as tight as possible. The feeling of her small hand in mine does something crazy to my heart and stirs feeling inside of me that I’ve never felt before.

  With two extra arms, we load up all the supplies and head up to the storage shed together.

  “So just to clear everything up so I know exactly what to tell all the other guys … you guys did or did not steam up the mirrors in the …”

  “Evan!” My eyes go wide and I look over at Alyssa who has a silly smile on her face as if she is preparing to bust up laughing.

  “You tell us, because I’m sure you came in. Admit it,” she says, looking all sorts of sassy and in control of this conversation. If she did not have a crate loaded down with rollers, brushes and other paint supplies, I would expect for her to have her arms defiantly crossed over her chest.

  Evan sneaks a look my way and anxiety shoots through me. Don’t you dare tell her that I told you she may come here today. I had no way of knowing she would show up; that was just plain luck. I’m about to pipe up to change the subject, but Evan does a good job at deterring the flow of the conversation himself.

  “Nahh, I didn’t come in. I’m not into that shit,” he laughs and they carry on back and forth with friendly chatter. I’m glad too.

  So far, my tongue seems to have crawled down my throat and given into retirement, because I cannot muster up a single syllable. My head is throbbing with questions and worries. Is this too fast? Did I initiate that back in the shower or did she move first? Did she want it as bad as I did or did I urge it on? Shit, she didn’t want to stop, did she? I dismiss that thought quickly, banishing it from my mind with the memory of her whimpers and moans. I look over at Evan who is currently talking her ear off about who knows what. God, I hope I didn’t move too fast. I do not want to scare her off. Why the hell am I analyzing everything?

  On the return back to the Snack Shack, I manage to flip my brain off for a second, but still don’t say a word. Instead, all I do is concentrate on the rhythm of my heart, the way it speeds up when I look over at her. I focus in on the softness of her skin against mine as I trace small circles on her hand with my thumb.

  While completely caught up in Alyssa and what just happened between us, Evan’s loud sigh and pissy tone smacks me out of my reminiscing.

  “Ok, that’s it. I have no clue what is taking this long. They should have already shut it down for the day. I bet they screwed something up.” He storms off, shaking his head. “See ya in a bit.”

  My eyes follow him until he’s out of sight. That’s the only signal I need to steal her away and unload my mind.

  Pulling her around to the other side of the dock’s convenience store, I brace her body against the wall, my body heavy with exhaustion yet burning with adrenaline and the need to make sure this is all going in the right direction.

  But before that … I need to taste her sweet lips again. I pull her to me, our lips welding together in a slow intimate dance that leaves us both needing to catch our breath.

  “Am I moving too fast for you? I mean, is this too fast or am I making you uncomfortable or scaring you off At ALL??” I ask her feeling pretty confident that she feels the same as me.

  It’s as if we went from zero to a hundred in one afternoon, but geez, it feels amazing. Does it even matter how fast we take it, because there is something here; something intense and strong; like a magnet or a pull and even if I had it in me to resist, I know I would still end up back in this exact spot.

  “I don’t think this could go fast enough for me.”

  Her answer lifts me off the ground. I want to break dance; I want to pump my fist in the air; I want to celebrate. Touchdown, graduation, scholarship … those have nothing on what that simple phrase did for me.

  “Good gosh, woman, I...I am crazy about you. This is all kinds of new for me. I mean I’m not usually like this and I definitely don’t move this fast ever,” I trip over my words for a second nearly saying something that I know is too soon to feel.

  I’ve never wanted something like this before and for a moment my stomach sinks. This may be exactly how Tiffany felt for me or how my mom felt for my dad and neither one of them got what they wanted; they lost it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I shove those ideas away and focus on Alyssa rather than the crushing weight that has held my heart down for years.
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  I’m not sure what this is and where it will lead us. From my experience something this perfect doesn’t exist. What I do know is that something is beginning here and for the first time in my life, I am so ready for this ride.

  LATER THAT NIGHT WE end up falling asleep in the back of my truck. All through the night her soft touch would skim over my skin and she would clutch onto me with a strong sense of need and desire in her grasp. Each and every time, my eyes would open and I’d have to steady my breaths.

  The next morning, her hair tickles across my neck and I know without a doubt that she stayed in my arms the whole night. That made me feel on top of the world until I got a face full of water from Evan. Remembering my comment about the bucket of water; he thought it would be cute to douse my fire by pouring ice cold water on me. Considering the state I woke up in, it was probably for the best. At least the water put that flame out before she had time to notice.

  The next few days seem to go in fast forward and the end of the week is sitting there like a ghost. She is only staying seven days, so the more time that goes by I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach just thinking about us going separate ways. It’s silly to dread it because Fairview is just a hop, skip and a jump from Rosemore, but we’ve been fairly inseparable since day one and I’ve gotten used to lying beside her each and every night.

  I’ve never imagined enjoying sleeping the night away with a girl. With Tiffany, it always seemed too committed and like I was leading her on further, but then again, a lot of times, I didn’t have the heart to tell her to leave. The following mornings, it would get awkward with me searching for an excuse to escape, regretting us getting carried away and her practically planning our wedding.

  With Alyssa it’s not like that at all. I’m the one pilfering through ways to prolong the night so we can suck up every ounce of time together. Of course, she and I haven’t gone that far, but I’d be lying if I said that every soft kiss of her lips doesn’t have my body coming unhinged with desire. I literally have to focus on anything other than her or showers or strawberries or swimsuits … basically, I just have to not think and work excruciatingly hard to push away the massive blood flow rushing beneath my shorts when we’re together. It’s always like waving a red flag … ”Yep … this girl does it for me!”

  With Alyssa, no amount of time together is long enough; I can’t seem to pull myself away from her. That is one thing life has taught me: Time is valuable and every second should be cherished whether it seems to suck at the moment or not. It’s a blessing, because tomorrow doesn’t come for everyone.

  Meeting Alyssa has truly had me wandering through so many memories and possibilities of what could have been done differently. One thing I know I would have done so much differently is spend hours, days and weeks with my mom, assuring her how much she was loved. Instead of locking myself in my room the day after my dad left, feeling sorry for myself, maybe I should have thought of Mom and went and hugged her. After all, he left us all. He left her with three kids and a diagnosis that she knew would ultimately end with her leaving us parentless. Time is precious, and if these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that when instances that make your heart pound uncontrollably come along you should stand back, take a deep breath and realize that God has thrown a touchdown pass directly to you. Those are the moments you should never let slip by.

  Today is one of those days.

  A cool breeze sweeps through the air and thankfully the cabin we are working on today is blanketed by a canopy of trees, offering a surplus of shade and a bit cooler temps. Looking up in between getting a few more shingles down, I’m surprised to see Alyssa strolling up beside Jake.

  “Ahhh, shit …” Evan spits out jokingly as I toss the air gun down and sprint to the ladder.

  I don’t even bother to take each step; instead I leap off half way down and fly to her in a matter of seconds.

  What I thought was just a simple visit, quickly turns into her hoisting a board up on her shoulder and working right alongside of us, just like one of the guys. Talk about thrilling the hell out of me. I felt like one of those cartoons, mouth drawn open, eyes wide and drool puddling at my feet as I watched her in amazement.

  “You gonna stare or come help,” she teases, oblivious to the fact that I am impressed

  After lifting my mouth off the ground, I race to help.

  “Here, I can get that for you,” I throw a 2x6 on my shoulder, much like she did, but I make damn sure to flex a bit so she can be equally awestruck by me.

  Keeping my eyes on her bent over silhouette, I walk back towards her and the half built porch frame.

  “Oh, no … no … no! You were helping up here,” Evan announces above us as I drop the board onto the frame to her side.

  “I can help you finish this and he can help with the porch,” my little brother comes to my rescue, making himself at home on the roof with the air gun already in his hand.

  “What! No …”

  I look up, watching Jake and Evan in amusement, but still not moving a muscle to hop up there. I’m good here.

  “You need to head back over to the other cabin and finish up there. I’d like to get all of this done with the next few days.”

  “They’re finishing up … that’s why I came over … to find out what was left.” Jake automatically starts throwing shingles down and getting to work.”

  “Really? Alright! Well, this is all. We have this cabin left and we are done,” Evan exclaims with a proud, disbelieving tone as the rest of us smile in celebration of all our hard work nearing the end.

  “Are you guys really almost done?” Alyssa swings a hammer at the board she has held in front of her, looking more like a pro than most of us.

  “Yeah, I guess so.” I grin and watch her work for a second before getting back to it myself. “Where did you learn to work with tools?”

  She keeps busy, not pausing in the slightest, but as I look at her profile I see a small smile crop up on her face as she slides the next board a couple centimeters from the next.

  “Here,” I whisper in her ear as I lean across her back to place a t-square between the two boards as a spacer. Once again she shivers and the corners of my mouth rise. It must be 99 degrees in the shade today … no way is she cold; it’s definitely me.

  “Oh no … hey, they’ll be none of that going on while we’re working.” Evan breaks through my solitary bubble that surrounds Alyssa and me.

  Pulling back, I give him a smart-ass look. Lowering my eyebrows and pressing my lips together to contain a laugh.

  “You do not see Jake and me up here all …” he arches himself over Jake, with a goofy look on his face while Jake innocently places a shingle in place. “Oh, let me help...”

  “Get off me, man,” Jake pipes up instantly, shoving Evan away with his free arm.

  “Exactly …” Evan points down at us with his brows raised and eyes widened. “We work … no smooching … no giggling and flirting … no making out …”

  “Ok,” I cut him off, embarrassment crawling to the surface of my skin as I glance over to her.

  She looks back with a quick what-did-we-do smile and then up at Evan. “Got it.”

  “Making out … I’m in.” Tristan walks up, casually leaning against the corner of the porch. “I’m not sure I’d go that far with this group of ugly faces, but I do see something I like.” He looks right at Alyssa, slapping me on the back.

  Annoyance surges through my fists as I clamp down on the board I’m holding. “Yeah, no way, Tristan.” I know he’s teasing, just like Evan does, he loves getting under my skin, but he and I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.

  Call me crazy but when your mom dies and weeks later rather than being able to grieve, you find yourself having to spend every second working so that your guardian can go out and party, chase girls and get drunk every night, that tends to put a damper on your relationship. Last I checked I wasn’t appointed guardianship of two teenagers that desperately needed their older b
rother to hold them together. He was the man of the family growing up after Dad left; he was who we turned to for advice and help with homework when Mom was getting sicker and sicker. If I did something stupid or got in trouble for a bad choice, he was the one that chewed my ass because by my freshman year, Mom was completely bed ridden and the ALS had already robbed her of any sort of life she would want to live. After she passed and when we needed him the most, he checked out. If I hadn’t given up on my brother ever returning, the last straw would have definitely been him skipping out on my graduation.

  The afternoon rolls on with all of the guys pulling together to bring this last job to a close.

  “You know how driftwood has all those holes and ridges embedded in it from hours in the water … that’s about how the porch is gonna look by the end of the day from Judd slobbering all over himself.” Evan and the others go on and on all afternoon with comment after comment that has me ready to dig a hole and crawl in.

  When the last nail is tapped into place, I blow out a sigh of relief that the day is done. Alyssa gets a kick out of it all, smiling and laughing quietly as she works. Once in a while, I get a glimpse of pink across her cheeks and my level of embarrassment lessens and twists into rifling back a comment at them. Needless to say, we high tail it back to my cabin, restless, eager to be alone and somewhat turned on.

  No sooner than we get inside, she curls up on my bed and I have one choice and one choice alone, I’m getting in that bed with her. As the warmth of her body presses back against me, my hands think on their own, venturing to places they’ve never explored on her body. I proceed with even more caution than I did in the shower, but once my hand is all the way beneath her swimsuit bottom, it is truly the most electrifying experience of my life. I’ve never touched someone in a way that I touch her, with feeling behind each kiss, each trembling stroke of my fingers or caress of my hand. I’ve touched someone in a drunken haze that I never remembered and I’ve gone all the way with someone in a time of weakness when we needed a mutual comfort, but never like this.