Catch My Breath

by Wendy L. Wilson

  “Careful,” she spits out quickly, steering all attention my way. “You always … want to be safe.”

  Alyssa and her mom both break into a fit of laughter as my face heats up and I snap my head around to look at her dad.

  “What did I miss?” he asks mid-bite, finally igniting laughter from me.

  Luckily no one answers and we all quickly move on to a less invasive topic.

  As dinner moves on, all five of us laugh and talk as if I have known them my whole life. My heart warms with feelings I have not felt in years; something deep inside that I thought was lost, unreachable and I smile remembering what it is like to be part of a family.

  THE NIGHT FLIES BY and after being shown to the spare bedroom with another extremely embarrassing moment of her mom directly telling us no sex under their roof we are then left completely alone at last. We talk for a bit, but with each passing minute and countless yawns from us both, we eventually fall into a peaceful sleep beside each other.

  After what feels like a full day of sleep, I wake up clutching a pillow with Alyssa nowhere to be found. It takes me only minutes to change, make my way downstairs, and find her sitting alongside her father while he sleeps.

  Standing in the doorway I watch in silence, filled with gratitude that I could be here at such a personal, meaningful, and intimate time in all of their lives. These may very well be some of their last moments together and I am allowed to be here for it.

  My brothers and I didn’t let anyone in at times like this and I think that is part of the reason why we were alone afterwards. The whole time Mom was sick we pushed everyone out of our circle; neighbors, co-workers of my mom’s and anyone else who just tried to be there for three scared boys who would be left with nothing once she was gone. That is how it was too. After an endless stampede of casseroles and baked goods brought to our door, Tristan, Jake and I, who had always been close growing up, went in three different directions while everyone left us alone. It was just us, but by that time, not even the three of us pulled together as a family. We each grieved alone and in our own way. Thankfully, after a while I came to my senses and Jake and I became closer.

  Alyssa kisses her dad’s forehead before joining me, but all I can do is smile at the love she holds for him. Two strides backwards and I’m out of the room, not taking my eyes off of her as she quietly closes the door then melts into my arms. I immediately cover her mouth with mine, feeling as though a few hours without her has been way too long.

  “I love watching you with your dad.”

  She nuzzles closer to me like I’m the only place she has ever known.

  “Good grief, get a room,” Abby’s voice comes out of nowhere, making me jump.

  Alyssa’s face falls into my chest with a snort and I spit out a chuckle at Abby’s sarcasm. I should set her and Evan up, although that could be a disaster waiting to happen.

  “Going to Piper’s for a bit. You two going to be here when I get back?” she asks on her way out the door.

  “Yep … all day … all night! You are stuck with us til tomorrow.” Alyssa sticks her tongue out.

  I look back at Abby and catch her matching Alyssa’s goofy gesture with her eyes crossed and her tongue also hanging out of her head just as the door closes behind her. I nod my head and turn my attention back to Alyssa, ready to crush her beautiful, plump lips with my own.

  Just as my mouth is close enough to feel the tickle of her breath across my lips, the sound of someone clearing their throat breaks the moment and has my hands rethinking their descent into the back of her sweatshirt. Close one.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” her mom announces from the dining area of the kitchen while gritting her teeth as if she was doing something wrong.

  Here I was considering fondling her daughter right in their living room, completely forgetting where I am.

  Alyssa presses her lips together and gives me a bashful smile as if she feels just as caught as I do. What was she thinking?

  “Would you two mind a quick trip to the store for me this afternoon sometime? I just need a few things for dinner.”

  Alyssa nods and her mom quickly gives us a list.

  Five minutes later, we are alone in my truck and Alyssa is perfectly tucked against my side.

  “Take a right up here,” she says pointing in the opposite direction that we came.

  “This isn’t the way to the grocery store.” I crinkle my eyebrows and look her way, curious again. What’s she thinking? My cheek dips in and I can’t fight the monstrous grin that is creeping across my face.

  She has an all-knowing smile painted on her face as she stares dead ahead, completely unwilling to give me any clues.

  “I know. Take a right.”

  I, of course, follow her new route plan. Winding along a street I’ve never been on, she instructs me to take another turn and we end up in a tiny parking lot right off the road, directly in front of a small ball field. I pull the truck into a spot and throw it into park, leaving it running for the sake of music and heat. A little confused on whether she has a sudden urge to play catch, I look over ready to ask what’s going on, but it becomes clear in no time.

  Alyssa snaps her seatbelt off, scoots around in the seat and slides between the steering wheel and me, settling into my lap. Much better than playing baseball. Thinking on their own, my arms fall around her, drawing her close enough that we share the same breaths.

  “I thought some alone time was way overdue.”

  I chuckle at her statement because I have been dying to be completely alone with her.

  “Besides, I don’t think Mom will even notice.”

  My mind flashes back to all that Alex said about how he and Angela met, about how fast they fell in love then to how her mom just up and left us alone in the bedroom last night. A smile emerges deep inside of me. No, I don’t think she will even mind, in fact, I think she will understand an extra fifteen minutes away.

  Her soft hand brushes the back of my neck as she slides closer and places tiny kisses along my cheek. Once her path leads to my ear, I pick up the suckling sounds of her kisses and my body reacts. The hairs on my arms stand on end and I drown in the blissful sensations she stirs within me as her breath dances over my earlobe. Advancing my state of arousal, she starts to shift and moves into my lap creating a fiery friction between us that is not a good idea given we are at a public, children’s ball field. I doubt her parents would approve of us getting arrested for indecent exposure.

  “Whoa,” I whisper, half out of breath. Pressing my hands tightly against her hips, I halt her efforts and concentrate on forming words. “Ahhh … we better stop before I hit a point of no return.” I’m damn near already there.

  Her face falls into a cute, irresistible frown that takes all my self control to not just throw the truck in drive and race to the nearest hotel. Running my hand from her waist up to her face, I lightly trace the soft texture of her skin while letting out a calming breath to cool me down. She looks back with the sliver of a smile surfacing.

  “I missed you so much.”

  The words barely come out over the extreme amount of emotion that wells up inside of me when I look at her. I can’t believe she is here; that I am here with her. It doesn’t matter how many hours pass by, I still can’t fathom that after three long months that she is finally in my arms. You would think loss would be something you get used to, but it never is; it never gets easier. It just hits you differently every single time. Losing Alyssa, or thinking that I had lost her, knocked the wind right out of my lungs.

  Looking at me with nothing but love in her eyes, her soft hands slide under the front of my sweatshirt, triggering a tidal wave of chills throughout my body from her warm caress over my abs and up my chest. She’s not going to make this easy. Maybe I should just call Evan now and tell him to plan on bailing us out of jail later.

  “What all did you miss?” The alluring tone she uses is totally working to her advantage.

  She could play me like a banjo righ
t now if she wanted to.

  “Everything,” I whisper, moving my hand to the back of her neck and pulling her to my lips.

  Her mouth touches mine and I am instantly starved for her, hungry for her touch and craving her body against mine as an unquenchable need burns within me. The heat from her hand has every muscle in my body tensed, anxiously awaiting more. Just as my resolve starts to chip away, she pulls back.

  “Tell me something specific.”

  She is killing me here. I meant it when I said everything. I longed for her lips every night; dreamt of touching her everywhere. I heard the sound of her voice in everything; music, movies, in the dark, in class, it was always in my head. Then something very memorable surfaces and I smile.

  I slide my hand into her hair and look her in the eyes.

  “The way you smell.”

  “I smell?” She crinkles up her nose and I drop my head back laughing. “Great.” She subtly turns her head to the side and sniffs as if she’s doing a pit-check that you see a lot of jocks do before leaving the locker room. I want to roll on the floor laughing. Probably not something girls want to hear.

  So I clarify the meaning behind my words, “You smell good … all the time. I know you use some kind of strawberry shampoo, because I saw it in your bag back at the cabin and you also were using it as a weapon in the shower the other night.”

  She giggles at my teasing, but continues to look at me intently, urging me to go on with her eyes.

  “I can’t explain it. It’s overpowering, as if the fragrance of your skin was formulated for me alone. Anytime I’m around you, it hits me like a truck. It was nearly unbearable when we were apart.”

  After resituating both of my hands at her waist I smoothly run them into the back of her shirt so that I can feel her silky skin.

  “I use a strawberries and crème shampoo,” she giggles.

  I smile, still reminiscing over how the smell of her skin haunted me all summer long.

  “There was this day this summer when Jake and I went to the grocery store. We were shopping around like any other time, but as we walked through the bakery aisle this sweet fragrance that smelled just like you slammed right into me.” Her mouth opens slightly in surprise as I go on. “Jake asked me what was wrong, but all I could do was look around. It was so embarrassing. Finally, I looked over the counter where they were making the cakes and stuff. There was this woman making a strawberry shortcake dessert thing. Here she was placing little slivers of strawberries all over the top of this cake.” I drop my chin down, nodding my head from the memory.

  Alyssa laughs, cupping my face in her hands so that I will look at her. “So what was so embarrassing?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth at the last part of the story. I am such a freak of nature! “I ran off because I thought it was you …” Cocking her head to the side, it’s obvious she’s still confused by my half ass answer. “I ran off to the bathroom because that smell is like an aphrodisiac for me,” I chuckle and hang my head, looking down to the wrinkles of my shirt.

  She frowns at first, her expression blank, then her eyes widen, “Ohhh …” she mumbles tipping my head upward with her hand under my chin. “That’s sweet.”

  I burst out laughing at her interpretation of that word.

  “Sweet?” I stare at her, amusement rising in my chest. “I was turned on in the bakery department at the grocery store …” She drops her arms around her mid-section as if the laughter may tear her in two. “ …In front of my little brother.” I finish, my stomach now hurting from how hard I’m laughing. “Ok, ok … what about you?”

  She stops laughing abruptly and her eyes flick down to my lips.

  “You know,” she says with a devilish smile that has my lips rising up slowly.

  “What?”

  Her eyes quickly gravitate to my cheek and I cannot stop from the full on smile that spreads across my face.

  “There it is.” Her lips go directly to my dimple for a gentle, loving kiss.

  Swinging my head to the side, I capture her lips and drink her in, bringing a soft whimper out of her; that little noise I’ve always loved so much.

  Nibbling at her bottom lip, I whisper against her lips, “I missed that, too.”

  Inhaling a mouthful of air between luscious, wet kisses, she whispers, “I missed how you kiss.

  Her breaths kick up as my hand glides up her back to unclasp her bra. So much for will power. Just as my fingers find the hook, her phone buzzes, distracting us both from our current goal. Alyssa leans up and grabs her phone out of her back pocket, but my hands continue fumbling with the hooks at her back.

  “Oh shoot, it’s my mom calling.” Still breathing heavy, she accepts the call and slaps it to her ear, annoyance ringing out in her voice. “Yeah?”

  I drop my hands, suddenly feeling as though her mom has x-ray vision to see what’s going on as my ears barely pick up on the quiet murmuring from the other side of the phone.

  “Ok, yeah … shredded cheese and eggs. Got it … anything else?” she huffs out gasps of air.

  That’s not noticeable at all. Alyssa’s voice is laced with irritation and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that her mom can tell something is going on; definitely not shopping.

  “No … not yet,” she stutters and I can hear her mom laughing on the line. “Ummm … well we are parked and getting ready to go in.” She glances at me, her eyes wide and her teeth gritted.

  Great … we’re busted!

  “Ok … yeah …” she twirls her hand around in a circle, “… Ok … sure. Love you, Mom. Bye.”

  As soon her finger punches the end button, she flings the phone to the seat and grabs my face back into her hands. I laugh as her lips crash into mine. Soft tingles rocket up my torso and down my legs as her hands quickly climb back under my shirt and graze over my chest. I instantly find that her mom’s call did nothing to put a damper on our fire; it’s still raging, in fact. She tugs my shirt greedily and pulls back a couple inches, barely able to catch her breath.

  “Do you think we could real fast?”

  My pulse races and I may actually go into cardiac arrest at any moment. Gripping her shirt in my hands as well, I look her in the eyes.

  “Oh, I think I can real fast,” I spit out, leaning forward so she can pull my shirt up as I work hers off as well. I have no doubt. Replay of our first time, here I come.

  Right as my shirt is around my neck and I have hers pulled halfway up her back, her phone chirps. What the hell!

  “Just ignore it.”

  Alyssa proceeds to rip my shirt off, tossing it to the floorboard. The backs of my fingertips run over the lacy fabric of her bra as I raise her shirt further and further up her body. This is totally going to happen! In my truck! A blaring horn screeches out behind my truck at the same time as Alyssa’s phone starts ringing, sending all my excitement plummeting to the ground.

  “Oh crap!” she yells, ripping her phone off the seat.

  I snap my head to look over my shoulder, bracing my elbow on the back edge of the seat and dropping her sweatshirt back in place.

  “Are you kidding me? What the hell are you doing spying on us?”

  My eyes make contact with Abby sitting in her car on the road behind as if she was passing by. Her eyes land on mine and a huge smile stretches across her face.

  “Very funny! Fine! Bye, Abby!” I watch as she slams the phone down into the seat then I turn to catch Abby’s fingers fluttering in a small proud-of-herself goodbye before speeding off. I flip around and rest my hands against Alyssa’s waist.

  “What did she say?”

  She throws me a half annoyed look mixed with a half smirk. “She said she told us to get a room, not to go park.”

  My lips twitch up and my chest tickles with the urge to laugh. Once Alyssa falls forward onto my shoulder, shaking with laughter, I can’t hold back any longer. We laugh and laugh until our lungs burn and voices are hoarse then decide we better head to the store.

&n
bsp; When we get back, her sister, Andrea, and her family show up and I get to experience the full effects of being a part of her family, complete with wrestling around with her two nephews in the backyard. I remember seeing a football in the garage, so after going to fetch it, I stay busy in the yard teaching them how to tackle and run a passing play. We have an absolute ball and I truly do not want the night to end. Although it pulls up nostalgia of doing the same thing with my dad, it’s an amazing feeling playing again, even if it’s just goofing off.

  Alex ends up drained and goes to bed early, leaving a storm of worry in his daughters and wife’s eyes. After Andrea, her husband Greg, and the kids leave, Angela and Abby head to bed leaving Alyssa and I alone on the landing outside her bedroom and the spare bedroom I’m designated to. Wrapping her in a tight embrace as if we won’t see each other for a couple days, I let my lips linger against hers, not wanting to let go for even one night. She lets out a loud sigh.

  “You know, you could just sleep in my room if you want,” she says with her cheek pressed to my heart.

  “I don’t know. With everything that went on earlier, I’m not sure we would be very disciplined,” I snicker, “and the last thing I want to do is disrespect your parents by breaking their rules.”

  She lifts her head from its resting place and looks at me quizzically.

  “Their rule wasn’t that we couldn’t sleep in the same room. It was that we don’t have sex under their roof.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, and that is exactly what may happen. We seriously have no self control when we are together,” I crack up. She knows this; we cannot keep our hands off each other. She could sneeze and I’d find a way to find it sexy as hell like watching her chest bounce or the way she opens her mouth when she does it. We suck at holding back.

  “Sorry, I forgot to wash my face.” Abby’s voice comes out of nowhere once again, and I have to chuckle at her timing. If it isn’t Evan, it’s Abby.

  Abby slips into the hall bathroom and Alyssa looks up to me with a sweet smile.

  “We better get to bed,” I pause, reading her small smile as a way to try to make me bend. “In separate rooms,” I add, watching as her bottom lip bubbles out into a pout.