Hate to Love You

by Isabelle Richards

  “I’ll be right down,” I reply before hanging up. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and try to push out all my frustration as I exhale. I need to get my emotions in check. I can’t think about Chase, or his lying, cheating bullshit. I have a tournament to win.

  Chapter Fifteen

  December, 2011

  Palo Alto, CA

  Chase

  “Up next, a special Saturday edition of Sunday Conversation with Arianna Aldrich. Be back in ninety. Don’t go anywhere.”

  I don’t know why I torture myself watching this shit. The sight of her makes my blood boil, but my dick wants to be buried inside her. I hate that she gets me so twisted inside out and upside down. How is it possible to hate someone and yet want them so badly? It’s got to be the sex messing with my head. What else could it be? For the first time in my life, I wish sex with her wasn’t so damn good. Christ, the way she makes me feel should be illegal. A controlled fucking substance.

  They say the best way to get over someone is to get someone else under you. I’ve plowed through half of Stanford, and I still can’t shake my feelings for her. I haven’t been with her in over three months, and I’m going through withdrawal. Nothing and no one else can scratch this itch, no matter how hard I fucking try. Any other girl just pales in comparison.

  The commercial ends and the show returns. The camera is focused on her, and as pissed as I am at her, she still takes my breath away. Her skirt rides up just a little as she crosses her legs. Tyler Benson, the host, looks like he wants to eat her alive. “And we’re back with Arianna Aldrich. So, Arianna. You’ve been spotted around Europe with Australian cricket player Casper Eliason. Any news to report there?”

  She giggles. She actually fucking giggles. “And here I thought this was a sports show, Tyler! What was I thinking?”

  Tyler leans forward, openly flirting with her. “Hey, girl, I’ve just got to know if I still stand a chance. I see you with him on the red carpet, at movie premieres, then skiing.” Looking devastated, he puts his hand on his chest. “You’re breaking my heart. I thought we had something special.”

  Ha! I called that shit. I wonder if she’s fucked the cricket player. Nah, she’s too damn frigid to let anyone break through her permafrost.

  She better not have fucking fucked him.

  She looks directly into the camera. “Casper and I have done a few photo shoots together, and we have become good friends. I’m married to my career, you know that. I don’t have time for anyone else.”

  Hey, she told the truth. There’s a change of pace.

  Tyler laughs. “Okay, okay. But we can still have an affair, right? Your career won’t mind if you have a little something on the side.”

  She gently smacks his arm. “You’re so bad. Ask me a real question.”

  Such a shameless fucking flirt. She always denies it, as though she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing, but that’s bullshit. She’s got him hard, breathless, and eating out of the palm of her hand. All she had to do was flash that smile, cross her legs, and flash him those green eyes to make him beg for more. No wonder they have her on all the damn time. Their ratings must go through the roof when the audience is too damn turned on to change the channel.

  Tyler looks at his note cards. “Okay, okay. Let’s get down to it. What do you think about Stanford’s chances this year? They look like they’re headed to New Orleans.”

  She cocks her head. “First my dating life, now my father. You’re killing me today. I foolishly thought we’d talk about tennis.” She’s playing along, but I can tell she’s pissed as hell.

  Tyler shrugs. “Well, no one knows football like you, Arianna.”

  She smiles. “Flattery will get you everywhere. This is all I’ll say about college football. Stanford’s team looks great this year. Best defense they’ve had in years. Their offensive line is strong, and they have three running backs I suspect all have a future in the NFL. Having said all that, they still have two tough games ahead of them before anyone should start thinking about the National Championship game. There’s still a lot of football to play.”

  “What about their QB?” Tyler asks.

  “Brennan?” she asks. She pushes her bottom lip out as she thinks about how to respond. “My father’s coached Brennan and molded him into an exceptional quarterback.”

  Refusing to call me by my first name, huh? As if she hasn’t known me her whole life. That we haven’t been intimate in every possible way. Like I haven’t run my tongue over every square inch of her. Like she hasn’t screamed my name in ecstasy a million times. Nice dig, Ari.

  I swear ice runs through her veins. Every word out of her mouth is perfectly crafted to be polite but never give anything away. She always has to be in control. The woman could be the press secretary for the White House. I would kill to see her say, just once, what she truly feels, to stop being the perfect PR package and just be Arianna.

  Tyler cocks an eyebrow. “Rumor has it he’s stirring up all sorts of trouble on campus. Think it’ll cause a distraction?”

  She crosses her legs and stares into the camera. I swear she’s doing it just to torment me. “I can’t really comment on what Brennan is or isn’t doing. I don’t pay attention to college campus drama. One of the benefits of going pro early is I get to skip all that. I wouldn’t have the patience for it. But I know my father. He taught me, more than anything, that what happens off the court stays off the court. When it’s game time, there’s nothing but you and the ball. I’m sure he instills that in all his players.”

  Tyler furrows his brow, looking confused. “Didn’t you and Brennan grow up together?”

  She nods. “We did. It’s no secret our families are close. But when you have my travel schedule, you fall out of the loop. When my father calls, he spends more time giving me tips on how to get more top spin or making sure I still run the stadium steps at least three times a week, rather than keeping me up to date on the private lives of his players. What happens at Stanford is none of my concern.”

  None of her concern, huh? Maybe I need to show her just how none of her concern I really am. “Hey, Boomer,” I yell across the apartment. “Where’re the pics from that party last night? Time to get those babies uploaded.” I get out of bed and walk to the landing where I can see Boomer in the living room downstairs.

  “Dude,” he calls up to me. “I thought you didn’t want shit like that on the internet with all the rumors floating around about you. You know I’ve got your back, on and off the field, and I think you may want to slow it down. The last two months, you’ve been off the rails with the girls and the parties.”

  What the fuck? “Is it affecting me on the field?”

  “No, man, it’s not about that. It’s just not like you. You’ve always been more grounded than that. You were never the playboy everyone said you were, but now, man, it’s like you’re out to prove everyone right.”

  He’s right. I know he’s right. I wish she didn’t get under my skin so badly. The thought of her fucking that cricket player all over Europe makes me crazy. She’s hell bent on making sure I know she doesn’t give two shits about me, so I want her to know I’ve moved on too. I nod and walk back to my bedroom. I’ve got to get her out of my head.

  “Dude,” Boomer calls from my door, “where did you get that? That poster is fucking tight.”

  Damn it. This is why I don’t let anyone in my room. “Yeah, I was dating a girl who worked for Abercrombie a while back. When she was switching up the posters in her store, she let me have it.”

  “That chick looks familiar. Who the fuck is she?” Boomer looks at the floor-to-ceiling black-and-white poster, trying hard to figure it out. Only a matter of time before—“Dude! Is that Coach’s daughter? Hot damn, she’s fucking hot. He better not catch you with this, or he’ll chop your dick off. I can’t believe you have this. Don’t you hate her?”

  “You have no idea how much I hate her. I try to forget it’s her, trust me. But there’s, like, sixteen-foot cei
lings in here, and it’s the only thing I could find that fills the space. All these white walls make me crazy.”

  “If you say so, man. Can I borrow it for my room sometime? The white space is killing me too, and I’m sure this poster can cure what ails me.”

  It takes all my restraint not to punch his lights out. “Whatever, Boom. Now get the fuck out so I can take a nap before practice.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chase

  I storm across the stadium like a man on a mission. People move the hell out of my way when they see me coming, which tells me I must look as pissed off as I feel. This won’t be good for my PR, but that’s the furthest thing from my mind. I have a sister to strangle.

  When I get to our seats, I don’t bother sitting. “What the hell were you thinking, Charlie?”

  She casually checks her nails. “Hmmm? What do you mean?”

  “You know what I mean. What were you thinking inviting Ari here?”

  She stands and folds her arms. “I don’t miss a chance to see Jack Carter. Ever. So I dragged Ari here with me. I had no idea you two were going to be here. Did I, Spence?”

  We both glare at Spence, but he’s focusing on his hot dog as if it contains the secrets of the universe.

  “Does he know?” I ask my sister. “Spence, do you fucking know?”

  “Of course he knows. He’s my husband. I couldn’t keep this from him,” she says, rolling her eyes.

  “Remind me to never tell anyone anything I don’t want blabbed on the Coconut Telegraph,” I bite back.

  “Fuck you, Chase,” Spence says, finally putting down his hot dog. “If you didn’t want everyone to find out, you should have done a better job of keeping your shit together. Because of your fucking bullshit, my honeymo—”

  Charlie taps his chest. “No, Spencer. No. Do not go there.”

  Spencer throws up his hands. “I’m going to get another round of beers.” He looks at Charlie. “Charlotte, if you want me to stay out of it, then you get this shit settled. I love you and I went along with this hare-brained scheme, but there’s only so long I can bite my tongue.”

  “What’s he talking about?” I ask when he’s out of earshot.

  She sits and motions for me to do the same. “Nothing. Can you please just try? For me, please try. You’re my twin brother, but she’s my best friend. She always has been and she always will be. Growing up, you two fought all the damn time, but at least you could be in the same room together. You haven’t been in the same room since my wedding, and I can’t take it anymore. Holidays aren’t the same. You bailed on our birthday party because she might have come. Which she didn’t, because she was avoiding you.”

  “Jenna wanted to take me out,” I argue. Jesus, I miss one birthday, and it’s as though I committed a mortal sin.

  “That may be so, but that’s because she’s always trying to pull you away from us, and you know it. It’s our birthday. We always celebrated together until last year. As soon as you heard Ari might be in town, you suddenly had other plans. What happens when I have a baby? She’ll be my baby’s godmother and you’ll be the uncle, but you won’t be in the same place at the same time. Will you skip out on all of my baby’s events too, or am I supposed to have two events, one for her and one for you?”

  The freaking baby card! She plays it every time she doesn’t get her way. I don’t recall her becoming so manipulative. “Stop being so melodramatic. I have a life of my own that doesn’t revolve around you. I’m allowed to grow up and live my own life. I’m sorry we don’t do everything together anymore, but that was bound to happen. Things change. Get over it. You can’t be the only woman in my life forever.”

  For the first time, she looks as if she wants to slap me. Hurt flashes across her face. “Is that really the life you want? A life that pulls us away from each other? I’ve never wanted to be the only woman in your life, but does that mean I get moved to the sidelines? Hell, with the way things are going, you’ve moved me onto the damn practice squad.”

  “You just want to have your cake and eat it too. You want me to marry your best friend so we can all be one big happy family. Well, not everyone has what you and Spencer have. Not everyone gets to marry their high school sweetheart. My life isn’t a Savannah Stevens fantasy. Ari and I hate each other. So much blood has been spilled between us, I can barely look at her without wanting to strangle her. We will not have a happily ever after. Stop trying to force it.”

  “I don’t care if you end up together, but I need to you learn how to forgive each other,” she pleads.

  “I can’t forgive her! She eviscerated me! She made me fall in love with her. She took my heart, my soul, and everything that was ever good in me and pissed all over it. That’s not something you just move on from. We were enemies before, and that’s exactly what we should have stayed. If we had, maybe I’d still be whole! You want a villain to blame? Look at her.”

  I don’t know where all that came from or why the hell I couldn’t control myself, considering I’m at a baseball game in front of thousands of people. Seeing her opened a wound that I thought was healed. I feel off balance and befuddled. I need to get my shit under control though. One two-second conversation can’t unsettle me this profoundly. It took me a year to put myself back together, and I won’t fall apart just because she’s back in town.

  Charlie looks as though she’s trying to fight back her feelings. Her gray eyes convey how distraught she feels. I know she feels stuck in the middle, but this is why we kept her out of it in the first place. But the cat’s out of the bag, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

  “Please. For me,” she begs. “Can you please just talk to her?”

  “Charlotte, even for you, there are things I can’t do.” I know that will make her cry, and I can’t stand to see it, so I walk away. Sprint is more like it. I don’t want to break her heart, but I can’t give her what she wants. Arianna and I have to be done. All ties severed. Zero contact.

  When I get to the concourse, I hear, “You had to make her cry, didn’t you, asshole?”

  I turn around and see Spencer walking back from the concession stand. “Stay out of it. This is between me and my sister. It doesn’t concern you.”

  He puts two beers on the counter by the condiments and crosses his arms. “Everything about her concerns me. You’re really crossing the line on this one. You created this mess, don’t take it out on Charlie that it’s coming back to haunt you.”

  “I appreciate that you’re looking out for my sister, but I’m warning you, stay out of it. I don’t get between the two of you, and you need to stay out when it’s between her and me.”

  “I’ll just keep on cleaning up your messes like I always do,” he spits. “One of these days, you’re going to have to grow the fuck up and stop being such a selfish prick.”

  I take a step closer. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He steps back and grabs his beers. He’s always the levelheaded one. “Don’t come back to the seats unless you can play nice. I’ll get Charlie calmed down, but I won’t tolerate you coming back and stirring up trouble. If you need to pick a fight with someone, do it somewhere else.” He turns around and walks back down to the seats.

  Jesus, when did this day become such a mess! Nothing comes between me and Charlie. Ever. What the hell is happening? I’ve got to go see Pop, then get the hell out of here. I plow through the crowds to get to security so I can go down to the players’ level. I run into Pop on the way to the bullpen. I swear I hear the sounds of someone crying echoing in the tunnel.

  I look around to see if I can figure out where the sound’s coming from. “Is Charlie down here?” I ask.

  “No, why?” he replies.

  “I thought I heard someone crying.”

  His eyes widen with worry. “What’s wrong with Charlotte? Why is she crying? I didn’t know she was here.”

  “She’s upstairs,” I reply. “We got into a fight.”

  Glowering at me, he folds
his arms across his chest. “What did you do?”

  Charlie and I rarely fight, and when we do, it’s always my fault. There’s no point in even trying to spin this to get out of trouble. He’ll never believe me. I lower my head and rake my fingers through my hair. “I know, I know. Spencer just threatened to kick my ass.”

  Pop cracks his knuckles. “He should have. I’m about to kick your ass. Start talking.”

  I lean against the wall of the tunnel. “She’s meddling, and I need her to stop. She won’t let up about Jenna. She wants me to make things better between me and Ari, and that isn’t going to happen.” I swear I still hear someone crying. “Who is that? Seriously, it sounds like there’s a chick down here bawling her eyes out.”

  “There is,” he responds. “It’s none of your business. Get back to why you made your sister cry.”

  A woman’s voice echoes in the tunnel. “What do you mean there isn’t a match?”

  Pop and I turn toward the voice. “That sounds like Ari,” I say. “But it can’t be. Ari doesn’t cry. She sure as hell doesn’t bawl like that.”

  Pop glares at me. “Like I said. It’s none of your business.”

  I hold my hands up in surrender. “Hey, I get it. There’s plenty of stuff that happens around my team that I pay no attention to. Look, I’ll apologize to Charlie. You know I can’t stand to see her upset. I just need to get my head on straight.”

  “Well, son, I think you need to figure out what got your head off kilter to begin with. Things’ve been off with you for a while now, and you need to fix yourself before you do damage you can’t repair. I have my theories as to why, but I’m going to keep those to myself. Nothing good will come from me sticking my nose in your business. I’m going to go upstairs and check on Charlotte. You pull your head out of your ass.”

  A door slams in the distance, and the sobbing seems to stop.

  “Aiden’s in the bullpen,” Pop says. “Go watch the game with him. Something tells me he can use some company.”