A King's Ransom

by Lia Black

  "Sometimes Lirin would be angry, although it was rarely with me. He still took it out on me. I learned after the first few broken bones that it was better to just let him hit me than to try and defend myself…then he'd cry and comfort me, ask me for forgiveness, and then we'd…he'd fuck me and fall asleep, holding me and telling me I was the only thing in his life that mattered…I can't say that I didn't feel the same."

  As he admitted the disturbing truth, he told himself it didn't matter what Veyl thought of him, but inside he felt as if he were being broken apart. He was startled when Veyl slid closer, and rested his head on his shoulder.

  "How did you ever get away?" His voice was soft, and it soothed Kaidos in a way he'd never known.

  Kaidos squeezed his eyes shut. Each time he felt his body beginning to tense as he fought back the dark memories, the warm pressure of Veyl's body pressing near his calmed him down. He wondered briefly if it was a talent or some elven spell, then decided it didn't matter.

  "I didn't. As I grew older, and began to look less of a child and more of a man, Lirin pushed me away. I was seventeen when he rejected me. He spit in my face, called me perverted and disgusting, told me that I had been the one to instigate everything. I was confused, heartbroken, crazy with the sense that I had done something wrong. I went to Guis…my best friend…and I told him that I was in love with Lirin…"

  "And Guis didn't understand." Veyl murmured softly.

  "No. He called me degenerate and left me a pathetic wreck. Lirin left for three years to serve on a merchant's vessel. I still don't know if he did me a favor or not by rejecting me. I would have been ostracized had anyone else in the tribe found out that I…that I allowed any man to…" Kaidos shook his head. He didn't have to say the words because it was that fear that had inspired this entire conversation. "Not that it matters now. After Lirin left, I left the Wanderers, and I bedded every woman who ever showed an interest."

  "Didn't your brothers know what was happening to you all that time?"

  Kaidos felt the blood in his veins go icy, as it always did when he considered the question himself. "I think if they did, they were terrified…I wonder if that is why Ahbrim was so close to Ruthgar—he worried about what Lirin might do."

  There was a pause, and the silence assaulted Kaidos' ears.

  "How did you meet up with your brothers again?" Veyl finally asked him softly, relieving Kaidos of the absence of sound.

  Kaidos felt the knot inside of him loosen slightly. Veyl was still here, still touching him, and asking him questions that had nothing to do with how Kaidos could have possibly thought his feelings about Lirin were all right. He sighed and allowed himself to be held.

  "Adria. She was some years older than me. A nobleman's daughter engaged to a man she didn't love. She saw me in a town, took me home and kept me like a pet—hiding my existence by putting me to work as a gardener. When her father found out…Adria cried rape to protect the myth of her virtue. I was beaten, tortured, and sentenced to death." Kaidos heard a bitterness in his tone that he'd never heard before when saying the woman's name. He'd never accepted the fact that she had said that she loved him, yet had been willing to see him killed to save her honor.

  "I believe that Lirin was the one who'd alerted her father. I felt like if he couldn't have me, he didn't want anyone to have me, even though the man I'd become was something he didn't want. When he'd returned from his time at sea, he sought me out time and time again, as if nothing had occurred between us. As if we had always only been brothers. I wanted nothing to do with him…and then, once again, he came to my rescue when I was at my weakest. This time, I was not so grateful."

  "Oh, Kai." Veyl touched his face, turning him to look into his eyes and Kaidos saw that Veyl was shedding silent tears.

  It hurt him to look at Veyl so he looked away.

  "I think you probably suffered worse than me. I gathered much of it from your nightmares when you were feverish," Kaidos said softly.

  "When one dies at the hands of another, it is difficult to measure better or worse—the result is the same, someone is dead."

  Veyl's words rang painfully true in Kaidos' heart. Lirin had killed him as sure as if he'd cut his throat. He'd killed his ability to ever understand the difference between love and control.

  It hurt too much—Veyl's contact left him burning with conflicting emotions, and he worried that his own actions towards Veyl were as much control as Kaidos had feared Lirin forcing upon him.

  He pulled away, nausea clawing at his guts and cold fire burning his veins. He didn't know what this was—what he was feeling, and it scared him. He felt the room getting smaller around him; darkness closing in. "I need some air," Kaidos croaked.

  He fled the room, out into the hall, and leaned against the wall outside to try and catch his breath.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Regret

  Veyl sat stunned in the bed, staring at the closed door that Kaidos had gone through. He understood Kaidos' need to process things. What he didn't understand was why it hurt so much, and why he might have expected anything different.

  His whole life he'd wanted to be special to someone and he had been--for a few hours at a time. Men paid for the pleasure of his company, for the pleasure of him being just what they wanted him to be, and he could do it for the time it took to please them. In his mind, he sold his body to earn back a little compensation for what was taken from him by force. But Ahrn, who had known him since he was a child, and who'd come to his bed as a lover, not a paying stranger, couldn't tolerate spending the rest of his life with Veyl. Why would Kaidos—especially in the face of such profit--be any different?

  Kaidos' experiences with love were brutal and twisted. Love brought painful memories for him—frightened him. Veyl could understand that. Each of them dealt with their damage in different ways, but the result was the same. Even if he could convince Kaidos to have feelings for him with so little time left before they reached Herrendsport, it would not sway the man's course. Nothing had been mentioned about taking Veyl home, and the sunset on his left tonight confirmed that they were moving ever north.

  Bitterness filled Veyl's mouth as he wondered if Kaidos would seek out a woman tonight. It seemed only appropriate that he would. A woman was, after all, what every man he'd ever met truly wanted. Kaidos wanted a woman. He could love a woman, but always pretending to be one went strongly against Veyl's nature. Revealing that to Kaidos tonight had been his undoing. Kaidos would not trust him. He would seek to control Veyl as he had once been controlled, and even Veyl recognized that love and control were far from the same thing.

  Love? Why had that thought come to him?

  Oh. Veyl finally realized why things had been so different in the forest the night before. He was in love with Kaidos, and he'd let that same link he'd once had with Ahrn begin to form between them. That would make Kaidos' eventual rejection unbearable, and he couldn't stand to feel such pain again. Examining it all from every angle made the choice clear to him. He had to get away. He had to leave Kaidos before he sealed his fate by giving him access to his heart.

  Veyl rose from the bed, uncertain what to do with the anxious energy that was building up inside of him. He began to pace, hoping that it might wear him down, but it did nothing but take him ever closer to the door. On his last pass he stopped and stared at the handle.

  Had Kaidos locked it? Veyl could not remember if he'd heard the rattle of the key in the lock after Kaidos left him.

  His heart was pounding in his ears, so loudly that he feared that if Kaidos was standing outside the door, he would hear it. His hands trembled as he reached for the handle, trying to muffle the tiny rattling sounds of metal against metal as he fought to keep his hand steady. The handle turned with a slow twist of his wrist, and Veyl gritted his teeth, half-expecting for the lock to finally engage and leave him without any options but to wait for Kaidos' return. But it completed its circle smoothly, and the cool air of the hallway crept in through the crack as the
door opened.

  A taste of acrid wine rose in Veyl's throat. He let his hand drop and stared at the door, knowing that if he left he would be alone. But I'm already alone, he realized. Nothing had changed. Kaidos had just taken him up on his offer to be his whore—free of charge—for the limited time they had left. That is what Veyl was, after all. Forbidden fruit that was finished quickly; the core discarded and forgotten once the sweet flesh had been devoured.

  Regardless of whether Kaidos caught up to him or he met his demise unprepared on the road, at least Veyl could find some small shred of pride in knowing that this choice had belonged to him. He had chosen to leave before being thrown away.

  He moved swiftly around the room, gathering a few items he thought he might need as well as a bit of gold. As an afterthought, he snatched up Kaidos' dagger from where it lay on the small table near the bed. Then he pulled on his boots and cloak, covering his head with the cowl, and quietly crept out.

  The staircase was partially lit by a lantern burning downstairs where someone would be standing vigil for any late-night travelers. He acted as nonchalant as possible, coming down the wooden staircase with his practiced smile.

  There was a young man sitting half-asleep on a bar stool. He looked to be maybe sixteen; not handsome, but strong; more than likely it was the innkeeper's son. Veyl wasn't certain if this was fortune smiling upon him or a disaster waiting to happen.

  The young man lifted his head in surprise when he saw Veyl, and that familiar glaze of lust that all teenage boys possessed in abundance formed over his eyes.

  "Oh, good evening." Veyl smiled at him. Enshrouded as he was, it was impossible to tell if Veyl was male or female, and he used this to his advantage.

  The kid nodded like a dullard, blinking his surprise at the beautiful face beneath the plain woolen hood.

  "I wonder if I might ask of you a favor?" Veyl purred, approaching him at the bar.

  "Okay," the boy said, his mud-brown eyes firmly affixed on Veyl's lips.

  "I'm trying to get to Aaullsworthe…"

  "Aaullsworthe... ah to the south?" the boy asked, finally looking into Veyl's eyes.

  "Yes, that's the one. Does this road run through it?"

  The boy nodded, apparently eager to share his knowledge and impress the pretty stranger. "This is the main road that runs north to Herrendsport and south, past Aaullsworthe, all the way to Wayneshire." Then his brow knit. "You're not planning on traveling this late at night by yourself, are you, milady?"

  "Oh, no…I'm meeting someone at the stables. Could you tell me where they are?" Veyl hoped that the boy wasn't bright enough to wonder how someone could have come in without knowing where they'd left their horse, and fortunately, that seemed to be the case.

  "Round back of the inn," the boy gestured with his arm.

  "Is there a door that will take me there?" Veyl hadn't seen Kaidos, but Nesmithe wasn't very big, and he didn't want to take the risk of bumping into him at the entrance to the inn if he could help it.

  "Certainly, milady. Down that hall, door's at the end."

  "Thank you for your help." Veyl blew him a little kiss and watched the boy's cheeks darken before he pulled his cowl lower and headed down the hallway that ran alongside the staircase, slipping quietly out of the door at the end.

  The stables were nearly a step from the exit. Veyl found their horse easily, paying the boarding fees from the coins he'd taken, and being certain not to pay a copper more. He wasn't sure how long it might be before he could earn some coin himself, so he had to do his best to conserve that which he currently had.

  *~*~*

  He was a fool.

  Kaidos had fled the room, too overwhelmed by everything in his mind—and too overwhelmed by Veyl. So overwhelmed, in fact, that he'd neglected to lock the door. It was an unfortunate mistake he'd only realized upon returning a few hours later and found that Veyl was gone.

  He hadn't meant to leave him for so long, but after he'd left the room he'd gone to the tavern. One drink turned into four and he ended up wandering around town to walk off his intoxication and try and clear his head.

  "Damn it..." Kaidos swallowed the lump rising to his throat, forcing out a bitter chuckle instead of the yell he'd wanted to release. He buried the hurt beneath anger, pounding his fist on the wall. Had he misjudged the depth of Veyl's feelings for him? That was likely the case, and yet after last night in the wilderness—he'd thought he'd felt something inside Veyl open to him. The look in those amber eyes had told him that this was his destiny. While it wasn't difficult for Kaidos to believe he'd been fooled—given the current situation—it was hard to believe that Veyl was that skillful of a liar. He'd never met anyone who could lie without words, and unless Veyl's body had that sort of intellect, he had to believe that Veyl's flight was caused by his fear. Because Kaidos had not told him otherwise, he probably assumed that they were still heading to Dandre.

  Kaidos' anger faded. He had to go after him. He had to at least make sure that if Veyl wasn't in love with him that he'd survive to find love with somebody else.

  He had to give Veyl some credit when he realized that he'd stolen his dagger, and he guessed that he would have taken their horse as well. Thank the gods that Veyl had been kind enough to leave him enough money to buy a new one. Otherwise, he'd have to steal one, and then add another town to those on the list where he could never show his face again.

  "Ah," said the stable-master when Kaidos inquired, "yes, I saw your lady…beautiful creature. She left around three hours ago, though I questioned her intentions. A lady shouldn't be out this time of night alone, you know. She seemed distressed somewhat. Lover's spat?"

  "Something like that," Kaidos grumbled under his breath. "Do you have a horse for sale or not?"

  "Yes, I have a few to choose from. You should have held your pride and apologized sooner. She didn't steal all of your money too, did she?"

  "No," Kaidos ignored the man's commentary, only half-listening to the rest as he tried to calculate exactly how far Veyl could have gotten in the time since he'd left. He had neglected to take any of their gear, which also meant he'd probably not taken much food or water, if any. Veyl had obviously been in such a hurry to escape that he hadn't thought about survival...on any front. He was little more than a babe in the woods, and that made it even more imperative that Kaidos find him sooner rather than later.

  "Left you some coin, eh? I'd say it's true love then." The stable master chuckled and gestured Kaidos down the row of stalls, indicating which horses were for sale. Kaidos did a cursory check and settled on a younger dapple-gray mare. He grudgingly paid the asking price because there was no time to haggle, but sweetened his end of the deal by stealing a bridle. Once outside, he rigged the bridle and mounted her bareback, then took to the road.

  He hadn't ridden without a saddle since he'd been a teenager and it took some getting used to for both horse and rider. If worse came to worse, when they got to Aaullsworthe, they could sell her... Kaidos grimaced. If he didn't find Veyl, there would be no reason to head to Aaullsworthe.

  *~*~*

  It was getting lighter. The horse was tired. He was tired, hungry, and cold, and feeling that the universe was blatantly unfair. Not surprisingly, he hadn't seen another soul on the road and had no idea how far it was to Aaullsworthe.

  Veyl knew he was a fool for running, but he was afraid. Had he just accepted that he was to become a stranger's plaything and swallowed his pride, he could be lying safe and warm in the ring of Kaidos' strong arms, if only for a little while longer.

  The horse had thrown a shoe about an hour ago, slipping in the mud when they got caught in a sudden downpour of icy-cold rain. Veyl walked him to keep him from damaging the hoof, but he was going to have to stop soon.

  His once-lovely leather clothing became a cold, wet skin and his cloak had grown heavy and damp. He should just turn around and go back to the village. If Kaidos had decided he wasn't worth the trouble of coming after anyway, he'd just have to sit
and wait for Ahrn to take him back home.

  Gods he was such a fool. So afraid to fall in love and have his heart broken again that he'd risked his life to avoid it. Part of him--a big part--wanted Kaidos to come after him. But he wasn't coming tonight, apparently.

  Veyl realized that he'd have to sleep outside, and wasn't certain whether the side of the road or just inside the forest would have been better. He kicked himself for having neglected to gather up at least a blanket to keep a barrier between himself and the cold, hard ground. As he was mulling over his predicament, he heard another rider approaching from the south.

  There was only one, so Veyl told himself that it seemed unlikely that he'd be a bandit. His clothing was travel worn, but otherwise in good shape. He wore a wide brimmed hat that covered his face as he kept his head tilted downward and water dripped from the brim, darkening his cloak. Perhaps this man might also be planning to rest soon, and maybe he could find it within him to share his campsite with a stranger such as Veyl.

  "Good sir, might I ask of you a favor?" Veyl ventured as the man rode slowly closer.

  The rider stopped beside Veyl and his horse. Then he began to quietly chuckle, and it soon evolved into a full and vicious laugh.

  Alarm burned through Veyl's blood. The voice was familiar, and when the rider lifted his head, Veyl felt his heart stop for a moment.

  "Well, well. Isn't this an interesting turn of events?" Lirin grinned down at Veyl, raising the brim of his hat. "It just so happens that I was looking for you, although I don't see my brother anywhere around. Did you kill him?"

  Throughout every word, Lirin kept the same deranged rictus he seemed to have previously reserved for Kaidos.