Forever in Hollywood

by Jovana Rodolakis

  With looks like his, my guess was that he was as egotistical as they came. He would probably expect a nobody like me to offer whatever he wanted and not think twice about never hearing from him again. I wondered how many people might have thrown themselves at him. I wouldn’t jeopardize my marriage with something of the sort. Those thoughts were fun to think of though, even if I would never act on them. Really? ‘Fun’ thoughts? Come on, girl, get your head out of the gutter.

  “Hmmm?” His mind seemed to be elsewhere. “We don’t have any together? Well, that is strange. Maybe if you don’t mind, you would rehearse my scenes for tomorrow with me then?”

  “Okay, you want me to read opposite you? Did you bring sides? I didn’t get any for tomorrow.” I stepped out of the bathroom. He should have been aware I lacked sides for the day. Some actors preferred to not even learn their lines until they got the sides. Memorization was a tremendous part of the business and if one learned their lines in chronological order they could get confused while on set. Filming was never done like the story was told. Everything would be meshed together like a fine tapestry after all the parts were assembled individually.

  “No.” He retrieved my script from the table next to him.

  “What page then?”

  He looked at me for several seconds before responding. “Honestly, I don’t know. The script was just an excuse to come properly introduce myself.” His lips twitched upward with his confession. “I am sort of the ‘new cast welcome liaison’.” His fingers made quotation marks in the air. “I’ll ask you a bunch of questions and then report to the rest of the cast whether we should like you or not. So be nice and answer honestly.”

  “What?” I wasn’t sure if the word actually came out of my mouth, it sounded more like a string of tiny giggles to me. Giggling like a pre-teen girl. Am I back in middle school?

  His smile never wavered.

  “Okay, Mr. Welcome Committee, what would the cast like to know?” I got sidetracked by the word ‘cast’ when I remembered there was a group going out tonight. “Why aren’t you out on the strip with the others now?”

  “Welcome committee, remember?” He pointed at himself. “It’s my duty. And I said I ask the questions, not you.”

  “Well, that’s very one-sided. Why can’t—”

  “Where are you from?” Impatient to begin the inquisition, he didn’t wait for me to finish my question before starting right in on his own.

  “Oh, um, I grew up in Orlando, but I’ve lived in Boston for the past two years.”

  “Done any acting before?”

  “Not a large, professional movie like this, I’ve mostly done indies and a commercial. This was my first big audition.” Pride made me include this little tidbit to hopefully show that even though I had a limited resume, I wasn’t some no-talent who’d been trying to land a gig for years without success.

  It was unnerving to be interrogated by this man, but at the same time it gave me a euphoric high. His questioning continued like this for some time. It was strange; I was never one to ramble, afraid to divulge too much pointless information and bore someone.

  Instead I continued on about how the heat was nice without the humidity of Florida weather. How I was scared to go into the city alone, but really wanted to get out and see Los Angeles before I left. It was all true. I had never been out west before in my life. Never even been out of the Eastern Time Zone, for that matter. One thing I would not miss was my opportunity to check out the sights even if it meant I needed to go it alone.

  “So, why did you stop playing guitar? You didn’t seem bad once you had a little direction.” His questions shifted to a personal turn, making me feel uncomfortable. If he continued I would shut down and my time with him would be over.

  “Lack of choice really, I was starting college, and holding down an almost fulltime job, as well as taking care of a sick family member. I just didn’t have time for hobbies. So, thinking I abandoned it, my mom gave my guitar to one of my cousins who wanted to learn.”

  This was getting out of hand. I was acting like some smitten teenage girl who couldn’t shut her mouth. I didn’t want to be that girl. Sure, he was attractive and the British accent was a nice touch. What American woman didn’t love a man with a British accent?

  “I’m sorry.” I pushed my eyebrows together and pursed my lips. “I’m offering way too much information, aren’t I? You don’t want to hear my life story.”

  “On the contrary, you have a very lovely voice, Ms. Scarlett. I don’t mind at all. Please continue.” Did he say I had a nice voice? What southern American voice could compare to a sexy British accent? He smiled and leaned a little closer. “You never got your guitar back?”

  “No. How do you ask a family member to give something back that they’ve had for over a year?” I shrugged.

  He considered my response for a brief moment before jumping back into mindless questions. “Do you have any pets?”

  I lit up at the question. My dog was one of my favorite subjects. Even if it was something that could easily bore others. “I have a dog, Rusty. He’s a mini-pinscher, but he thinks he’s a full size Doberman.” Listening to other people talk about the cute things their baby did wasn’t something I enjoyed, so I ended my sentence there.

  “Please don’t take offense, but why a little dog? They are so annoying.” He wrinkled his nose.

  I scowled back at him. No one talks bad about my dog. “Rusty isn’t like any little dog you’ve ever met. Everyone loves him, even people who hate dogs. Are you a cat person then?”

  “Ha, no. I like big dogs.”

  “Rusty likes big dogs, too,” I grumbled, but it went unnoticed.

  “How about hobbies. If you don’t play any more, what do you do?”

  “Reefing.”

  He raised one eyebrow at me. “I didn’t take you for a—”

  “No, no, no.” Why did everyone always jump to the conclusion I was a drug dealer when I said that? “Reef fish tanks, I own a reef tank.”

  His eyebrow was still up.

  “You’d be surprised at everything that goes into keeping one. It’s a very consuming hobby. I’m even part of my local reef club.” I smiled. Well, might as well show him just how big of a dork I really am. Maybe then I would feel more comfortable around him and not think of him as this intimidatingly gorgeous creature.

  “There are clubs for that sort of thing?” Laughter echoed through the tiny hotel room.

  “Yup, we even have meetings, apparel, and membership cards.” I said still smiling, not fazed at all by him laughing directly at me. Tears began to well in his eyes at my last statement.

  “You’re…messing…with me!” he roared between bouts of laughter.

  “No seriously. Wait.” He eyed me with suspicion as I got up and retrieved my wallet from the nightstand. I placed the small laminated card in his hand and sat waiting for more laughter. He stared at me for a few seconds in seriousness before gazing down at the card. Laughter erupted from his chest when he read the card aloud “Boston Reefer Society Member. Oh man, this is too much!”

  “I know, I know, crazy fish lady. I’ve heard it before.” I joked along with him. My motto has always been ‘if you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at?’”

  After a few moments his breathing slowed and he regained his composure. He shook his head and sighed. “How in the world do you get started in something like that?” All joking was gone now; he seemed truly interested.

  “I majored in biology and got a job in the field while going to school. Sadly, it only took me five years to realize I couldn’t live off of a marine biologist’s salary, and I started going to an office instead of a fish tank every day for work.” God how I’d loathed working in an office.

  “So what do you do now?”

  “A mundane accounting job for The Boston Historical Preservation Society.” I refused to get into the subject of my current job; it depressed me.

  “I’m sorry, at least you can act too tho
ugh. Next week is going to be fun when we start choreographing for the fight.” There was a twinkle in his eye. It was obvious he lived for this sort of thing. I, on the other hand, would return to my normal life. No one would stop me on the streets because they recognized me in this movie.

  Thoughts of going back home made me miserable. I stared behind him not wanting to think of it all.

  A sigh passed through my lips before he started up with his line of questioning again.

  “Okay, how about boyfriends?” He paused. “Do you have one?”

  I smirked. So, he did ignore Anne’s pointed comment on the subject earlier.

  “No, married.” I thought his eyes tightened briefly, but I wasn’t sure. His expression was normal again before I could process it. He didn’t linger on the subject or press for any more information. Instead, he went on to a string of one-word answer questions.

  Favorite color, food, music, TV shows. He was easy to talk to even though I was getting interrogated, and he wasn’t giving anything away about himself.

  My cell phone rang. Oh crap, what time was it? I knew even before I looked what name I would see on the caller ID. Sure enough it was him. A small pang of guilt rose in my chest.

  “Oh, it’s my husband. How late is it?” I answered the call and walked to the bathroom.

  “Hey.” Dan’s voice sounded drawn. “So, instead of getting a good night’s rest, I’m calling you back because you left me a whiney message.”

  I sighed. “Dan please, I don’t want to fight three thousand miles apart.”

  “I didn’t want to waste two years of my life with someone who won’t grow up.”

  “That’s really harsh. And you know what, you can’t just expect me to forget about what happened.”

  A light hand ran over my shoulder, and I turned to see Andrew standing there with his brow furrowed. “Are you okay?” he mouthed.

  Tears were in my eyes, but I fought them off. I didn’t want to fight with my husband, especially in front of Andrew.

  “I’m going to head out then,” he whispered. The warmth from his hand left my shoulder. When he reached the door, he frowned and mouthed the words good night before turning and disappearing.

  I wanted to stop him for I truly was enjoying his company. Nor did I want to have this long distance fight with my husband.

  “Dammit, it was over a year ago, I transferred departments so I wouldn’t be around her any more. You have to let it go, for god sake. It was a mistake, I don’t know what else to say, but you always harp back on this,” Dan said.

  “But you still work with her.”

  “Is that what this escapade across country of yours is all about? You’re still punishing me?”

  “I forgave you, I wanted to work on mending things, but you can’t expect me to forget it ever happened. You broke my heart.” My voice wavered and cracked. It was as if I were reliving the horrible moment he confessed to sleeping with his old partner all over again.

  “If you can’t move on and forget it after this much time, I don’t think you ever will. Maybe it’s time we talk about getting a divorce.”

  “You’re seriously going to pull the divorce card while I’m out here?”

  “You’re not leaving me with much of a choice. I want a family. I don’t want a wife who doesn’t trust me.”

  “I wanted that, too, but I don’t want to be stuck at home with a baby, worried you’re not actually on a stakeout, but screwing your new partner!” I swiped at the tears blurring my vision.

  “My partner is a guy now.”

  He was making a joke, but I was scorned and wanted to hurt him. “Well, that would be even worse, you should have figured out you were gay before marrying me.”

  “You selfish, immature brat,” he hissed.

  “Cheater.” I wished cell phones had receivers. I wanted to slam it hard in his ear but instead settled for pressing the End button without saying goodbye. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as an angry slam would have been.

  Tears welled up and spilled out like a waterfall. I couldn’t help but feel helpless and betrayed. Eventually I sobbed myself to sleep.

  Chapter Five

  After another restless night, I woke early and dragged myself out of bed. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I realized I forgot to blow my hair dry the night before. The dark circles under my eyes didn’t help my appearance. A ponytail and some concealer would have to do. I threw on a pair of sandals and a casual sundress before heading out to meet my ride.

  Crew call was typically an hour before cast, so the set was already abuzz when we arrived. By the time Andrew showed up, Billy was regaling me with a detailed account of his winning poker hand from the game last night. His excitement was contagious, and I laughed when he replayed it to me. Andrew strode by without even so much as acknowledging my existence. Admittedly, my feelings were hurt.

  When I stepped inside the hair and makeup trailer, I wasn’t at all surprised by my welcome. My stylist removed the elastic band holding my hair and gasped with an almost comical look of horror when it sprang free.

  “My God, woman, what have you done?” he exclaimed and attacked my head with a brush.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to blow it out last night.”

  He ripped and pulled at my wayward locks, pretending not to notice the menacing stares reflecting back at me from the mirror. It would clearly not be in my head’s best interest to tell him it was a guy who kept me from straightening my hair the night before.

  As the day drew to an end, Billy and one of the other battle scene actors approached. “A bunch of us are going to this sushi joint for dinner,” Billy said with a smile. “Booze day Tuesday. You must come.”

  “I-I…” I said, unsure how to answer.

  He could obviously hear the hesitation in my voice because he added, “Don’t be shy, it’ll be fun, and we’ll have our own transportation!”

  I did want to go. Lord knows I didn’t want to be alone with nothing to do but dwell on the fight with Dan. But, I get lost so easy, even in my hometown. If I tried to find my way around an unfamiliar city, I would surely wind up in Arizona or Mexico. The reason I got the rental was to have the feeling of independence, not the fear of getting lost.

  “I’d love to Billy, but I don’t know my way around. How far is this place?”

  “I’ll take care of you, ride with me. We’re in the same hotel, so it will be no trouble to get you home tonight.”

  “Okay, sounds good.” I sighed with relief. I was finally getting to know people here. I wouldn’t be alone in the boring hotel room again tonight.

  ****

  I sat in the cozy restaurant with the other smaller name actors and listened to them talk about home, acting workshops, auditions, and movies they’d worked on.

  Andrew sat with some of his co-stars. I positioned myself with my back facing him, I didn’t want to glance up and see him. He still feigned indifference toward me, so I’d do the same. Getting caught staring at his beautiful face wouldn’t help my resolve. If he wanted to speak with me, I would be polite and answer, but not go out of my way to talk to him and boost his ego. Several rounds of sake during dinner loosened our tongues, and laughter flowed around our table. Billy and I sat enjoying the jokes and banter.

  Just as he promised, Billy escorted me back to the hotel. As expected, he was delightful company; it was exactly what I needed to take my mind off Dan. The time had come to face things though. When I next called him, I would need to keep a level head so we could talk through our problems.

  “I promised I’d take care of you, so I want to make sure you get inside safe,” he said as we walked to my room. What neither of us expected was to see someone waiting outside my door.

  There, leaning against the red hotel door with his arms casually folded across his chest, was Andrew. My mouth fell open at the glorious sight of him. Poor Billy was now looking very uncomfortable next to me. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next. “I didn’t kno
w you were expecting company, I shouldn’t have…”

  “I wasn’t. Maybe the director sent him here to tell me something.” My voice was barely a whisper.

  “I…umm…I mean.” Billy cleared his throat. “See you tomorrow I guess.” He made a hasty retreat to his room across the corridor.

  I walked forward and stood in front of Andrew. “Hello.” I tried to sound nonchalant. He moved to the side so I could swipe my key card.

  “Hi.” His voice was low and raspy. There was a lingering scent of alcohol on his breath. I opened the door and looked up at him. He was waiting for an invitation inside.

  “I wasn’t expecting you, you know. You should make an effort to let someone know you’re going to stop by. What if I was going out with someone? Or, what if Billy and I…you know?”

  “You weren’t,” he said with confidence.

  “We weren’t?”

  “No. May I come in?”

  “You’re confident.” I opened the door and walked inside with him on my heels.

  “Mm, maybe.”

  “Are we practicing more lines, or is this another twenty questions night?” My voice echoed the annoyance I felt with him in regards to the less than cordial greeting I received earlier.

  “Whatever you’d like to do.”

  I stood there, confused, waiting for some sort of explanation as to why he kept showing up here. A long uncomfortable minute passed with both of us staring at each other. He moved first, walking over and sitting on the corner of my bed. I followed but didn’t dare sit next to him. It seemed wrong even though I had no immoral intentions. Instead I dropped into the little padded chair across from him.

  “So…” Why won’t he say something? I knew from experience, an apology was too much to ask from a man.