Free to Love

by Lillianna Blake

  Contents

  Title Page

  A note from the author

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Preview: Hanna’s Happily Ever After

  Preview: The Bride Tribe

  Preview: Single Wide Female

  Preview: Alex in Onederland

  Other Titles

  Legal Notice

  Noella’s Life Unleashed

  (Book 2)

  Free to Love

  By

  Lillianna Blake

  Copyright © 2018 Lillianna Blake

  Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers

  All rights reserved.

  LilliannaBlake.com

  Dear Reader,

  These books are written for every woman out there who has struggled with their weight, self-esteem and any number of issues that we all face as we work to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be.

  They are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but I do hope that they will inspire you—to REALLY live your life to the fullest, loving yourself completely as you do so.

  If you enjoy the “Noella’s Life Unleashed” series, be sure to check out “The Bride Tribe” series and you might also like Samantha and the “Single Wide Female” series. You can read previews and at the end of this book.

  If you’ve enjoyed Free to Love, I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to leave an honest review here:

  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKJ1QC1

  Enjoy!

  Sincerely,

  Lillianna

  Chapter 1

  The whoosh of the plane as it lifted from the ground seemed to carry right through to my heart. Even as we climbed higher, my focus remained behind me—on my sons.

  At six and nine, they were okay with Mom going away for a few days, but I wasn’t as sure about myself. I closed my eyes and thought of how much fun they were having with my sister, Hanna. I could see her chasing them around with the water guns she had shown me right before I left. At six months pregnant, I knew Hanna was excited about being a mom and I was certain she would be an amazing one.

  When I opened my eyes again, I could see the sky through my window.

  The beautiful sight inspired me to think of what it would be like to see my friend Nicole in person. I couldn’t wait to spend some time with her. We’d met and bonded on a dating site called Forty and Free, and she’d become one of my closest friends. She’d been such a positive force in my life at a time when I’d needed someone who could understand what it was like to be a single mother, adjusting to doing everything on my own.

  I could recall so many times that we’d stayed up all night on video chat together—sharing tears, laughter, and plans to overcome the difficulties we’d been facing. Nicole had found love a second time around and her story had given me hope that just maybe it could be possible for me as well.

  Excitement finally began to overtake my anxiety at leaving my boys.

  “This is going to be fantastic.” I whispered the words as I leaned my head back against the seat.

  My thoughts swam with another first in-person meeting I was going to have. My best work friend, Wes, lived in a town very close to Nicole. I’d only found out at the last minute and we’d promised to find a way to meet while we had the chance.

  For so long, Wes had been a friendly face on my computer screen, someone who’d always been there for me, offering advice and support when I’d needed it. Whenever I was having a difficult day, he was quick to joke with me until I was in a better mood. I’d confided in him things about my divorce that I hadn’t even shared with my sister. There was something about the anonymity of a virtual friendship that made him seem so safe, or maybe it was just that he was always so supportive.

  Wes had even helped me to get my current job, which afforded me more time with my sons as well as better benefits. I definitely owed him a great big hug to thank him and I looked forward to giving it to him.

  As if sensing that I was thinking of him, my phone chimed with a text.

  Have a safe flight. If you need me to pick you up, I’m available. Just say the word.

  I bit into my bottom lip at his words. It meant a lot to me that he would clear his afternoon for me.

  I sent him back a text explaining that Nicole would be picking me up from the airport.

  “Excuse me, but I’ll need you to put your phone in airplane mode, please.” A flight attendant smiled at me as she made her way through the aisle.

  “Sorry about that.” I turned off my phone.

  As much as I couldn’t wait to get to Nicole’s, I savored the few minutes of quiet and isolation that the plane ride offered. It wasn’t often that I had true quiet. Sure, after the boys went to bed I might have a half hour before I passed out, but there was always some chore that needed to be done. On the plane I had no choice but to be quiet and enjoy the silence.

  As my mind wandered, my body began to relax.

  When a jolt of the plane woke me, I realized that I’d fallen asleep. It was unusual for me to be able to fall asleep while surrounded by so many people, but apparently I needed it.

  The plane began its descent and I pulled out my phone ready to find out where to meet Nicole.

  As soon as I turned it on, I received a text from her. She apologized profusely but explained that her daughter had fallen during tumbling class and they were headed to the emergency room to check for a broken arm. She included the phone number of a taxi service and the promise that she would pay for the fare.

  My heart ached at the news. Melody was only eight and I knew that she loved her tumbling class. She was such a daring child, always trying new jumps and movements. I hoped that she would be okay.

  I fired a text off to Nicole letting her know that it was fine and to just take care of Melody.

  As I tucked my phone away, the plane landed. My stomach flipped at the sudden bump of the landing gear striking the runway.

  As the plane rolled to a stop I thought about Wes’s offer. It wasn’t my intention to meet him so soon. I was certainly not prepared—in my comfortable jeans and loose t-shirt—to meet someone new. But then again, I didn’t have to worry about things like that with Wes. He was only used to seeing me from the shoulders up anyway.

  I decided that it would be the perfect time to get a chance to talk with him. Nicole and Gavin would be occupied with Melody.

  I fired off a quick text, uncertain whether he really wanted to drop everything and head to the airport. The thought of having a little time to spend with him sparked that sense of excitement once more.

  Is that offer of a ride still good?

  Chapter 2

  The moment I sent the text, something inside me shifted and my heart began to pound. I had no idea why I was so nervous as I waited for his response. Wes had offered and assured me that his afternoon was free, so why were my hands trembling as I gripped my phone?

  Luckily, the plane’s coming to a halt was enough of a distraction to make me put my phone away
.

  Everyone on the plane began to gather their things. I did the same, but my stomach was in knots. I didn’t mind having to take a taxi if I had to. I knew Nicole’s address and I was sure that she would have a plan for me to get inside. Still, stepping off the plane with no idea what I was doing left me feeling a little unsettled.

  I made my way through the crowded airport to a quiet area. I only had a carry-on bag, so there was no need to collect anything from baggage claim. I was about to call the taxi company that Nicole had suggested when my phone rang. When I saw Wes’s name bounce across the screen, my heart skipped a beat. I almost didn’t answer it, but I had no idea why.

  “Hello, Wes?”

  “Yes, it’s me. Did your flight land already?”

  “Yes, I’m here—at the airport—I mean—obviously—but anyway, if you can’t pick me up, I totally understand. I can just take a taxi. I was about to call one—”

  “I’m right here.”

  “I know you’re not that far, but if it’s too much trouble, don’t worry about it. I really shouldn’t have even texted you, that was silly of me.”

  “Noella.” He laughed and the sound carried so clearly through the phone that it seemed as if it was right behind me. “I mean, I’m right here.”

  I still had the phone to my ear when I felt a touch on my shoulder and looked up into his amused expression.

  “Wes!” I stood up so fast that I knocked my bag to the floor and managed to catch my foot around the strap of it. As I stumbled forward, Wes caught me by the arm, preventing me from landing flat on my face.

  “Hi there.” He met my eyes and smiled.

  “Hi.” I did my best to straighten up as my cheeks grew hot. “Sorry about that.”

  “I’m not.” He grinned. “I don’t mind catching beautiful women.”

  “Sure, sure.” I rolled my eyes, then smiled. “Thanks for being here. Nicole had an emergency and I just need a ride.”

  “It’s no problem. I’m glad to be here. If you have time, I could take you to my favorite spot for a coffee. I mean, if you’re not too busy.” He held my gaze.

  We’d been friends for so long and yet being face to face with him felt completely different. His flirtatious nature wasn’t as easy to dismiss, and the way he looked at me made me wonder—for just a second—if he might actually mean some of what he said. I pushed the thought away, then I looked away as well.

  “Absolutely. I’m sure it’s going to take them some time at the hospital.”

  As we headed out to the parking lot I filled him in on the accident. By the time we reached his car, I had begun to relax. Yes, it was different to see him in person, but he was still the same supportive friend that he’d always been.

  “That’s tough. It must be so hard to see your child in pain.” He opened the passenger door for me. “My chariot. I know she’s nothing fancy, but she takes good care of me.”

  “Your car is a woman?” I grinned as I settled in.

  “Of course.” He climbed in the driver’s side, then looked over at me. “Her name is Roxy.”

  “Roxy.” I nodded as I looked over the leather interior. It was an older car, but pristine, untouched by sticky fingers or the dirty shoes of an adventurous pre-teen. A quick glance in the backseat proved that a juice box had never been spilled on the carpet and not even a single fast food wrapper was in sight. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Thanks. I think so too.” He started the car, then paused and looked over at me again. “I’m sorry, I’m still adjusting to the fact that you’re really here—right next to me. I hope this isn’t too weird for you.”

  “It is weird.”

  “If you’re uncomfortable, I can take you right to Nicole’s.” His smile faded some.

  “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it was weird in a bad way. I love being here with you—I mean, having the chance to meet you.” I winced and willed myself to stop talking.

  “Noella, relax.” He put his hand over mine, but drew it back a second later. “It’s just me—your buddy Wes.”

  “Yes, I think that’s why I’m so nervous.” I sighed. “All the things you know about me—you probably know me better than most of my friends. I guess I never expected to see you face to face.”

  “But here we are.” He winked. “Sorry about your luck.” He shifted the car into drive and headed out of the parking lot.

  “It seems like very good luck to me.”

  “That’s a relief.” He laughed as he turned onto the highway. “I know it can be overwhelming to be in a new place. I used to travel a lot. Whenever I arrived somewhere new, I always looked for a place to get a good cup of coffee. That way I always had somewhere I knew, somewhere that I could go.”

  “That’s a very wise thing to do.” I stole a glance at him and waited for the punch line. He joked so often that I rarely knew when to take him seriously.

  “It kept me from getting too lonely.” He turned down another street.

  “You get lonely?” I grinned. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

  Chapter 3

  The question hung in the air between us. When I first asked it, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. But as it repeated through my mind, I realized how foolish I must sound.

  “Don’t you?” He pulled into a plaza, then parked. When he looked at me, I had to look away.

  It was strange that when I met his eyes, my mind buzzed and I couldn’t concentrate on my thoughts. It was strange that now that we were side by side in his car, I couldn’t stop thinking about the color of his eyes or the warmth in his fingertips when he touched me. My stomach twisted as I realized that I might have developed a crush on someone who was just supposed to be my friend.

  “Coffee sounds great.” I popped open my door and stepped out.

  There was no chance that I was going to answer that question. In fact, I was certain that Wes already knew that I got lonely. Wasn’t he the one who’d coached me through a virtual date? I felt ridiculous as I recalled that experience. He had to believe that I was one of the most pathetic women on the planet.

  “This way.” Wes smiled as he walked around the car toward me. “You okay? Tired from the flight?”

  “Yes, tired.” I cleared my throat and didn’t mention that I’d napped most of the way. I wanted to believe that my suspicions of a crush weren’t true, but when he rested his hand on the curve of my shoulder, I had to grit my teeth and ignore the heat that flowed through me.

  “So, how did Justin take you canceling your date?” He pulled open the door to the cafe for me and waited as I stepped through.

  “Justin?” For a few seconds I had no idea who he was talking about. Then I recalled the man I’d shared such a pleasant date with. “Oh, he was fine. I explained how Hanna had surprised me with a trip to see my friend and he completely understood. He’s a nice guy.”

  “And forgettable, apparently?” Wes laughed. “I’ll grab us some coffees; why don’t you find a place you’d like to sit.”

  “Sure. I’ll take a—”

  “—coffee, one cream, two sugars.” He winked at me, then headed up to the counter.

  Of course he knew how I took my coffee. We’d discussed at length the role that coffee played in our lives—how we liked it and how much we consumed. We’d discussed the tiniest aspects of our lives. That was it. That was the problem.

  I rolled my eyes as I sat down in a chair at a small table. I’d let myself turn him into a work husband. I’d seen co-workers do that before. They would work together so often that they had something similar to a marriage, but it was usually platonic. A few times I’d witnessed it stray into something very unhealthy. Clearly, I’d let things get out of hand.

  As Wes walked toward me with two cups of coffee in his hands, I promised myself that I would be more careful about our interactions. The last thing I wanted was for him to figure out that I had a bit of a crush on him. I didn’t know if our friendship could survive that.

  “Here you
go. I asked them to bring us over a few pastries when they’re ready too. I know that I’m usually hungry after a flight.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled. “I didn’t know you traveled so much.”

  “It was another life.” He shrugged as he slid down a bit in his chair.

  It reminded me of my son and how I’d always ask him to sit up straight. Young, he’s so young. I closed my eyes, took a sip of my coffee, then looked back at him.

  “You have a secret life you never told me about? No fair.” I laughed.

  “Not really secret, just not interesting. I worked for a company as a sales representative—trying to get the product onto international shelves. It was a lot of cramped plane rides, dingy hotel rooms, and polite rejections.” He cringed. “But getting to see so many different places was pretty great. I met a lot of people.”

  “It sounds wonderful. I haven’t traveled much myself. Maybe once the kids are grown, I’ll do a little more exploring.”

  “Why wait?” He shrugged. “You can always take them with you.”

  “Oh, you know, school, one gets airsick, the other one gets pretty stressed when his routine is interrupted.” I took another sip of my coffee. “The trials of parenting.”

  “Sounds awful.” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you don’t want to give them back?”

  “Wes!” I laughed. “No, I would never. Sure, they have their moments, but there isn’t a single second that I’m not absolutely in love with them.”

  “I admire that about you.” He rolled his cup between his palms as he studied me. “I know they’re a lot of work, but you always talk so warmly about your sons. I feel like I already know them. I like to think that I can take some credit for Brady’s pranks.”

  “I’ll give you all the credit, if you want it.” I shook my head. “He is so smart, but he gets himself into so much trouble. Maybe he’s more like you than I realized.” I grinned. “Like that time you had all those pizzas delivered to the board meeting.”