by Karly Morgan
“Coffee sounds good,” she said, suddenly yawning deeply.
I guess that answered my question about how much sleep she’d gotten the night before. Apparently, no more than I had, which was a reassuring thought when it shouldn’t be.
I pulled out the mop and got to work sopping up the water and soap, while she managed to make her way over to the drawer we kept rags and towels in to help.
Together we cleaned up the mess, finished the dishes, and made the pot of coffee. If I hadn’t known better, I’d say we’d been doing a similar routine for years instead of just two days.
After she’d doctored her cup beyond recognition once again, we took seats at the table, one of us at each end so we wouldn’t be tempted to molest each other again. At first, neither of us said a word, unsure where we should even begin to sort out this insanity we found ourselves stuck in together. Although I didn’t feel stuck at all, which was completely odd. I should be raging against this entire thing, but I didn’t want to. Not even one tiny bit.
“So…” Carissa said, finally shattering the silence hovering between us. “I guess after what happened earlier, you’re not opposed to consummating our marriage and making it fully legal.”
She sounded awkward as she spoke, but I couldn’t argue her assessment. Keeping sex off the table would be a punishment worse than death when it came to her.
“It doesn’t seem like you’re much opposed to that yourself, darlin’.” I grinned as I directed her statement back at her, and she blushed deeply once again.
“Well, if we’re in this for the long-haul and not planning on divorcing or annulling the marriage later down the road, it would be senseless to deny ourselves physical pleasure for the rest of our lives. There’s no way in hell, even though we don’t love each other, that I could live with you sleeping with someone else while we’re husband and wife,” she said, avoiding all eye contact with me.
I didn’t understand the sudden stab of pain that pierced my heart when she spoke of us not loving each other. We didn’t. Or at least I thought we didn’t. Was I already beginning to fall that hard for her?
“I have a suggestion to make this easier,” I tossed out, waiting for her to take the bait and ask. It seemed to take forever before she realized I wasn’t going to just volunteer the information.
“What’s that?” she finally gave in and asked, sounding irritated that I’d made her do so.
“Why don’t we try this like a normal marriage and see how it goes? If somethin’ doesn’t work, we can talk about it then and adjust,” I suggested, wondering how wise of an idea it even was. This woman was dangerous for both my heart and my sanity. She had the power to destroy me even worse than Karlene ever had.
“Would you really want to do that? I thought you were against being in any kind of relationship at all.” She looked as if she wanted to say more but left it at that.
“I won’t lie, Karlene put me through the ringer. And before ya ask, I’m not ready to get into that story with you. I will at some point, but not right now,” I said, and she nodded, even though I knew she was itching for answers after seeing the interactions between my ex and me today. “After that entire thing went down, I swore off relationships for good. I wasn’t willing to put myself through anythin’ like that again. With you, it’s different. Don’t ask me how, but it is.”
“What made you change your mind about going through with this?” she asked hesitantly.
“At first I was even more against marryin’ ya because you affect me so much. Never have I laid awake all night thinkin’ about a woman like I did last night, but I just couldn’t get ya outta my head. Then when Mama told me what she’d done, I really freaked out.” I had to pause to get my thoughts in order because my emotions were bubbling to the surface, and the last thing I wanted to do was lose my shit in front of Carissa. I couldn’t allow that to happen. She waited patiently like the angel I was beginning to believe she was. When I felt I’d gotten myself back under control, I continued.
“It was talkin’ to Caleb about it all, and that helped me see that I needed to help ya with this. Whether I wanted to or not, I’d started carin’ about you and couldn’t live with myself if this backfired and ya ended up in a marriage much like the one my parents had,” I told her honestly. If we were going to do this, lying to each other would be an awful start to an already rocky situation.
“None of this is your problem or responsibility, and I hate that you feel it is,” Carissa told me miserably, dropping her head into her hands.
“I don’t feel it’s my responsibility, and it’s my problem ‘cause I chose to make it my problem too,” I argued, moving around the table and wrapping my arm around her shoulders and crouching down to her level to offer comfort. Yet another thing I’d never done for a female, but I was compelled to do for her.
“I feel like I dropped in here like a nuclear bomb and blew up everything you’ve ever known and loved. Take Bonnie’s decision about her health. She made that decision based on meeting me and deciding I was the one to stick by your side once she was gone.” Her voice sounded watery, as if she were crying, but since she still had her face turned away from me, I couldn’t tell for sure.
“Ya can’t take responsibility for the decisions another person makes. You can only make and own decisions for yourself. My Mama’s as hard-headed as they come, and once she’s got somethin’ in her head, it’s like pullin’ teeth from a shark gettin’ it back out,” I told her, hoping she’d see that none of this was her fault. I’d had to remind myself of that a few times this morning before it finally sunk in. It was easy blaming her for Mama’s sudden change of heart when it came to fighting to live, but that didn’t make it right. I gently rubbed my hand up and down her back to help ease her distress the way my mom used to do it when I was growing up.
Carissa didn’t respond, and we sat there quietly for a while until I realized, when she let out a soft snore, that she’d fallen asleep with her head resting on her arms, unfinished coffee sitting in front of her. With a smile, I brushed the hair hiding her face from my view out of the way and gazed at how innocent and peaceful she looked with her eyes closed and lips slightly parted.
It hit me then like a ten-ton sledgehammer: I was the lucky son of a bitch who got to wake up to this vision every day for the rest of my life, starting just a few days from now. Was I ready for that type of commitment? For her, I thought I was.
Shaking my head, I took her mug to the sink and rinsed it before returning to her and easing her into my arms, loving how she fit in the cradle of my elbows as if my arms were made to carry her this way. Careful not to jostle her too much, I turned off the lights behind us and made my way upstairs.
When I reached the top landing, it was a tough call whether to just carry her into my bed and wrap her up in my arms so we could both sleep or to do the honorable thing and tuck her into her own bed for the night. After much internal debate, I opted for tucking her into her own bed, even knowing I’d endure yet another sleepless night. Earning her trust was a much higher priority than easing my discomfort. Besides, Mama had raised me to be a gentleman, not a bastard that took advantage of a vulnerable woman.
Once I’d gotten her shoes off and the sheet pulled over her, I sat on the edge of her bed watching her. I couldn’t get enough, and no matter how much I commanded my legs to stand and carry me to my room, they refused to listen. It was then I realized we hadn’t even touched on the topic of children. Growing up with a father like mine, I’d never wanted children of my own, but looking at this stunning creature before me, knowing she’d be a wonderful mother, my thoughts began to change. Especially after envisioning her very swollen and pregnant back in the kitchen. My cock jumped to attention, both ready and willing to make that vision a reality. It was quite the battle to force those images from my head and get my dick to chill out, but somehow, I managed it. Children were definitely something we’d have to discuss at some point.
When she rolled over, turning her back
to me and snuggling her face into the pillow, I finally managed to get my legs and feet to cooperate. I went to my room and laid down on top of the covers, back to staring at the ceiling and turning over the events of the day repeatedly in my brain.
Chapter Seventeen
Carissa
The days between our trip to town and the wedding passed in a whirlwind. Before I knew it, I was standing in Bonnie’s room with her putting the finishing touches on my hair for the small ceremony we’d arranged. Caleb had offered to walk me down the aisle before standing in as Kolton’s best man, and I happily agreed. Even though she was Kolton’s mother, Bonnie had insisted on standing beside me as my matron of honor.
“This dress was the perfect choice,” Bonnie gushed with the broadest smile I’d seen from her yet. “The light-weight fabric is great for the heat, and the way it flows down around ya while remaining fitted at your bustline accents everything perfectly. I love the combination of the sundress and cowgirl boots Kolton picked out for ya. And the pale pink brings out your colorin’ beautifully.”
“Are you sure it’s not too casual?” I worried, chewing on my bottom lip. It was an old habit from when I was a child that had made a reappearance when my nerves decided to go on a rampage. Talking about marrying Kolton and actually doing it were entirely different things. And the fact we’d decided to approach it as a traditional marriage made me even edgier. I knew exactly what he was expecting to happen tonight. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anticipating the same, even if it made me jittery inside.
“I think ya look beautiful. This is your day. Who cares what anyone else thinks ‘sides Kolt?” she asked, raising her brow at me in the way only she could.
Suddenly, a bubble of laughter burst out of me as I realized how ridiculous I was being.
“Why am I so nervous? It’s not like this is a real love story wedding. He’s helping me out of a bind,” I said once I’d tamped down my burst of insanity.
Bonnie shot me a quick glare in the mirror before resuming her focus on the last few flowers she was weaving in through my dark locks.
“This is as real as it gets, girly. I raised Kolton ta believe in the sanctity of marriage. He’s not takin’ this lightly. I can guarantee that.” Her voice was dead serious and sobered me up quickly. I met her eyes in the mirror and knew she expected me to honor our vows the same as she expected Kolton to. “Divorce is the chicken shit way of handlin’ problems. We don’t run away from them in this family; we face them head on. Kolton’s daddy’s the only coward outta all of us, and he’s not blood, so we ain’t countin’ him.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my mouth tightly shut as I processed the veiled warning she’d issued. I shouldn’t have said anything in front of her, knowing how strongly she felt about marriage vows being sacred.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured after a few minutes. “I wasn’t meaning that I don’t take this seriously. I really do. And maybe someday Kolton and I will grow to love each other, but for now, we’re two people marrying to solve a problem.”
“I’ve seen the two of ya together. There’s more there than you’re willing ta admit. Everyone who gets near the two of ya together can feel the chemistry explodin’ around ya like it’s the damned Fourth of July every day. Didn’t I already tell y’all that?” she reminded me, grinning once again. “Don’t think I didn’t know exactly what I was doin’ when I offered this as my one and only solution. You and Kolton will be just fine together and live out your lives happy and in love with lots of grandbabies runnin’ around. Just mark my words.”
“Somehow, I knew you were playing matchmaker from the beginning,” I told her with a shake of my head, trying to ignore the comment about children. Kolton and I still hadn’t discussed that topic. “I didn’t see this play coming though.”
“When ya know two people are right for each other and both are too damn stubborn ta admit it ta themselves or each other, sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do,” Bonnie told me with a grin. “I saw the sparks flyin’ between the two of ya instantly, and the concern in my boy’s eyes when he came in ta tell me he’d found ya said more than his words ever could. If he hadn’t felt somethin’ for ya, he woulda just chased ya off or had one of the boys give ya a ride back into town without a second thought.
“My Kolt’s almost as stubborn as I am, so he’ll probably never admit ta that, but I know him like the back of my hand. I knew he’d ultimately choose ta go through with this because he couldn’t stand the thought of ya bein’ married ta anyone else. We all have that one person we were meant ta be with. Some of us are lucky enough ta find and be with them for a long time, while others aren’t so lucky and find them after it’s too late,” Bonnie’s words grew heavy as she spoke, and I knew we weren’t just talking about Kolton and me any longer. “Cherish the fact the two of ya found each other while you’re still young and have a lotta years ahead of ya.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way. Kolton and I are going through with the wedding today no matter what. You can call your doctor and ask to be put back on the list,” I suggested gently, laying my hand over the one she’d rested on my shoulder. “It would be the best wedding gift you could give us and Caleb. That man loves you. And while he’s willing to respect your choice, I know he’s not ready to lose you just yet.”
My eyes were swimming with the tears I was fighting to keep from overflowing and ruining the mascara I’d applied a short time ago.
“I’m not ready to lose you yet, and I just found you,” I told her when she didn’t say anything. I hoped her silence meant she was seriously considering what I’d asked of her.
“Today’s a day for happiness and love, not this depressin’ shit. Now stand up and let me take a good look at ya,” she ordered, not acknowledging anything I’d said.
I’d give her that…for now. I wasn’t finished trying to convince her to change her mind and fight for her life.
I stood and turned to face her, back to chewing on my bottom lip as I awaited her verdict on my appearance. Her eyes scanned me from the boots up, and when her eyes reached mine, they were full of tears, and a bright smile lit up her face.
“You’re just the prettiest thing I ever laid eyes on. Kolt won’t know what hit him when he sees ya for the first time at the end of that aisle,” she choked out as she fought back the sob trying its hardest to escape her throat. “I am so proud ta be gainin’ ya as my daughter today. I want ya to know that now.”
“I’m proud to be gaining you as my mother-in-law today,” I told her, both of us weepy as we hugged each other tightly. “I need you to stick around with us longer to help teach me all the things my own mother didn’t. Don’t give up on us…on me.”
She gave me another squeeze, a pat on the back, and pulled out of our embrace to hold me at arm’s length by my shoulders.
“You’ve got tenacity, girl. And the persistence of a gnat. That’ll be what keeps Kolt in line.” I hated that she still wasn’t responding to my plea for her to fight for life. “And if that don’t work, a good kick ta the balls with them round-toe boots you’re wearin’ should.”
Leave it to Bonnie to deflect something she didn’t want to discuss with humor. Damn if it didn’t work though. We were both cracking up when Caleb entered the room after a quick knock.
“Now what’s so funny in here?” he asked with a smirk as he walked over and wrapped his arm around Bonnie’s shoulders. They’d stopped hiding their relationship so much after Kolton had called Caleb out on the table for them sneaking around as if he was stupid.
“I told Carissa that if she needed ta keep Kolt in line, a swift kick in the balls with them there boots would do the trick,” she told him, and we burst out into laughter once again when Caleb grimaced and shifted to protect his own family jewels from our line of fire.
“Now what would ya go and tell her that for?” he complained with a shudder. “That’s just husband abuse.”
“Ha! Husband abuse my ass. The shit ya men put us through
ain’t considered wife abuse, so take that shit and shove it where the sun don’t shine,” Bonnie declared, swatting Caleb on the back of the head with a loud thwack that almost gave me a headache.
“Well, aren’t ya just the prettiest thing,” Caleb complimented me while rubbing the back of his head, obviously deciding not to push his luck any further with Bonnie for the time being. Caleb being Caleb meant he’d be pushing her buttons again soon enough.
“Thank you,” I murmured, feeling a blush creep up my neck, burning my skin.
“Are ya ‘bout ready ta get this show on the road? Kolt’s out there drivin’ everyone nuts with his nerves. He’s as anxious as a pregnant woman ‘bout ta give birth for the first time,” Caleb said with a shake of his head.
I was stunned by the information he’d just given us. Why would Kolton be nervous? Was Bonnie right when she said he took this a lot more seriously than I’d originally thought? Oh hell, was I getting in over my head by doing this? I hadn’t had time to mull any of that over, though, when Bonnie spoke.
“We’re as ready as we’re gonna get. Go get Kolt and the Justice in place, then come back ta get our girl here.” She certainly had no problem taking command, as if she’d sensed my sudden bout of nerves and doubt.
We watched Caleb hustle from the room, whistling the wedding march as he went. As soon as he was out of sight, it suddenly became harder and harder to draw air into my lungs. Spots started dancing around my vision, and I stumbled backward until my butt hit the chair I’d been seated in while doing my hair and makeup.
Bonnie didn’t say a word, she grabbed a paper bag and pushed it against my face to cover my nose and mouth while pushing me to lean forward with her other hand. She held the bag in place, stroking circles over my shoulder blades the way Kolton had done when I’d had my attack on the side of the road the other day.