by Karly Morgan
Her calm began to seep into me, and within a few minutes, my breathing returned to normal. I had no clue how Kolton and Bonnie managed to bring me back to normal so easily when it had taken prescription meds to do that back home. Whatever magic touch they had, I was thankful for it as I sat up straighter and took deep, cleansing breaths.
“Can’t say I wasn’t expectin’ a bit of a freak out right before the time came for ya ta walk down the aisle. Good thing ya got it outta the way in here rather than out there,” she said as she refolded the bag and put it back where she’d gotten it from. “It’s natural ta feel a bit overwhelmed before somethin’ this life changin’.”
I closed my eyes and pushed all negative thoughts from my mind. I refused to allow doubt and anxiety to rule me today. I was absolutely not going to let thoughts of my father’s reaction to what I was about to do cast a shadow over today’s ceremony.
My heart beat out its joy over my impending marriage to Kolton. Whether my brain listened to it or not, it already knew exactly what it wanted. I just needed to allow it to take charge today and ignore my brain. I could do that. I knew I could.
“Everyone’s in place,” Caleb announced as he reentered the room.
I hadn’t noticed the last time that he was wearing a brand-new pair of Wrangler jeans that fit his slim frame well and a long-sleeved, plaid, button-down shirt with breast pockets and a folded down collar. He had on cowboy boots as well and held a well-made straw hat in his hand as he extended his elbow for me to take. I waved him off and motioned for Bonnie to take his arm until we reached the back porch. I didn’t want to risk any possibility of her falling and injuring herself right before the ceremony began.
I followed behind the couple, focusing on the deep inhales and exhales that were keeping me from hyperventilating once again. I needed to get through this without another freak out.
Caleb helped Bonnie to the bottom of the back-porch stairs, while I waited at the top for him to come back to me. I couldn’t see Kolton yet from where I was standing, but I could sense his presence nearby. It felt as if there were strings on my heart pulling insistently toward where he was waiting for me to join him.
Bonnie took off at a steady pace toward where she’d had Kolton arrange a beautiful arch for us to hold the ceremony under. She and Millie had gone out the afternoon before and decorated it with dozens of gorgeous roses they’d bought from the local florist and clipped from their own gardens.
Millie’s niece had come with her and rolled out a really long red carpet for us to walk down to make the path smoother for Bonnie to navigate on her own. I felt bad that Caleb was walking me down the aisle instead of assisting her as he should be. It felt selfish.
“Now stop that nervous twitchin’ and lip chewin’. You’re gorgeous, and everythin’s gonna go just as smooth as a baby’s bottom.” Caleb patted the hand I had resting in the crook of his arm as he led me on the first step down toward the yard.
“You do realize what comes out of baby’s bottoms, right?” I asked, not sure he’d used the right analogy for the occasion.
“Uh…” I could tell he’d realized his mistake once I pointed it out and was wracking his brain for a better one.
“How about smooth as silk?” I suggested, and his smile returned easily as he nodded.
“That’s it, smooth as silk.”
I laughed softly, hearing him repeat my words as we made our way ever closer to Kolton.
“Thank you for walking me down the aisle,” I told him softly, emotion suddenly overwhelming me as the humor faded. I wished it were my own father but knew that was a pipe dream, unless the man waiting at the other end for me was Carver. I gave his arm a squeeze, and he turned a soft smile down to me.
“It’s truly my pleasure and a great honor,” he responded, bringing a tear to my eye once again. At this rate, there was no way I’d make it through the ceremony without balling my eyes out, mascara running and making me look like a raccoon.
“I just wanted you to know how much it means to me,” I whispered, fighting the choked-up feeling. I didn’t know if it was happiness, sadness, or fear causing it, but I was desperately trying to get it under control.
“No matter the circumstances that brought us ta this point, you’re a wonderful girl who’s marryin’ our boy today. I know the two of ya will find your way together, even through the rough patches of which, I have no doubt, will be plenty. You’re family now.” Caleb gave my hand a squeeze to reassure me, and I knew what he was really saying: that there were no thank yous needed.
A few steps later and I got my first glimpse of Kolton standing next to—wait, what? What the hell was Karlene’s father doing standing next to Kolton? I turned my head to ask Caleb but caught Kolton’s eye instead, unable to look away.
He looked absolutely amazing wearing similar attire to Caleb and Earl Abernathy, but unlike the two older men, he took my breath away—not in the hyperventilating way that happened earlier—and stole any thought I had in my head.
As if from a distance, I heard Caleb’s chuckle when he noticed my reaction to my soon-to-be husband, and I tried my hardest to break whatever spell held my eyes locked to his. Suddenly, my legs were itching to run once again, but this time it was toward Kolton instead of away from him.
“Slow down,” Caleb quietly chastised me as I’d picked up my pace a bit without realizing I was doing so. “He’s not gonna make a run for it.”
I waged an inner battle the likes of which would put World War II and the Vietnam War combined to shame, trying to keep myself calm and collected as we steadily drew closer and closer to the man I couldn’t look away from.
Kolton looked as if it was killing him to wait patiently for me to finally arrive in front of him. He shifted weight from foot to foot, and I knew it was from fighting the urge to hightail it over here to meet me. When did this happen? Why had I not noticed it before now? Anyone who didn’t know what was really going on would be one hundred percent convinced this marriage and our entire backstory were the real deal, based on how we were reacting to each other.
Finally, Caleb and I stopped in front of Kolton and Mayor Abernathy, Caleb gently transferring my hand to Kolton’s before stepping off to stand in the best man’s position. I searched Kolton’s eyes for even the smallest hint of doubt, but there wasn’t even a speck to be found in those warm brown eyes of his. What I did find rocked me to my core. Love. He didn’t have to say the words, I saw it right there, clear as the bright-blue sky above us. This man had somehow fallen in love with me in less than a week.
My heart beat triple time in my chest, pounding out its eager response as fear washed through me in a cold wave. I’d done absolutely nothing to deserve this man’s love, no matter how much I desperately wanted it, and I had no idea what I was going to do about it.
Chapter Eighteen
Kolton
Carissa couldn’t have looked more amazing if she’d tried, and it took every ounce of self-control I possessed to remain standing in place at the arch for her arrival by my side. When Caleb finally moved her hand from his elbow to mine, I saw the look of utter terror in her eyes, even though her face never showed a thing. If I didn’t do something fast, she was going to take off like a bat out of hell.
“Can we have a moment please?” I asked Earl, holding Carissa’s hand tightly to my arm so she couldn’t slip away from me. Earl nodded, and I guided her off to the side, out of earshot of Earl, Caleb, Mama, and the few people we’d agreed to invite as witnesses.
“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours, darlin’? You’re not thinkin’ ‘bout backin’ out now are you?” I asked, searching her eyes and face for any hints as to what had caused such an intense reaction. The fear hadn’t been present when she first stepped in front of me.
“We can’t do this. It’s wrong,” she choked out, and I recognized the beginning of a panic attack similar to the one she’d had on our way to town. I pulled her into my arms, gently rubbing her back, and whispered into her ear
anything soothing I could think of until she calmed in my embrace.
“I swear, you’re better than Valium,” she muttered as she pulled back from me, but I didn’t fully release her since I still wasn’t sure whether she was about to bolt or not.
“Now what’s got you suddenly itchin’ to run for the hills, beautiful?” I asked, trying to catch her eyes with my own as she determinedly looked everywhere but at me.
“It just doesn’t feel right,” she hedged, and I knew there was a lot more going on in her head than she was opening up to me about.
“What doesn’t feel right? Marryin’ me? Or is it the fact you’re goin’ against your daddy that has ya so scared?” I asked, determined to get to the bottom of this so we could proceed with the ceremony.
“None of it feels right,” she said, and I knew damn well she was lying through her teeth.
I’d seen or felt every time she’d watched me when she thought I wasn’t looking, felt the passion burning deep inside her every time we kissed—which happened more than a few times after that night in the kitchen—or touched, and heard the affection in her tone whenever we’d talk. She was feeling all the mixed-up stuff I was too.
“I thought we’d agreed not to lie to each other. I know damn well that’s not true. You’re as in this as I am,” I told her, praying I wasn’t pushing her closer toward running away.
“Why do you want to do this?” she asked suddenly, finally meeting my eyes and searching them for something.
“You’ve come to mean an awful lot to me since ya been here. I can’t stand the thought of you bein’ forced to marry some dickhead who’ll never appreciate ya for who you truly are and respect ya as his wife. I know we haven’t approached this in the most traditional manner, but that doesn’t make what we feel for each other any less real, and I know you’re feelin’ stuff for me that scares the tar outta ya as much as I am for you, so don’t bother denyin’ it,” I stated, maybe overly cocky, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was getting this woman through this ceremony. We could sort out the rest later.
“I fully intend on takin’ care of ya, supportin’ whatever dreams you wanna follow, respectin’ you, and livin’ one helluva happy life with ya. We can make this work. Don’t go runnin’ away now, darlin’. We’ve got too much good ahead of us for that.”
“We’ve also got a lot of hills to battle. My father won’t accept this easily and will fight it with everything he’s got. I don’t wish that on you, Bonnie, Caleb, or anyone else here,” she told me, but it was an old argument. Whatever it was that had spooked her, it wasn’t that. She was just using it as a cover.
“I’m all in, darlin’. Are you?” I asked, pulling her flush against my body and wrapping my arms around her waist. I was grateful she’d chosen not to carry a bouquet down the aisle or I might’ve gotten stuck with about a thousand thorns. Plus, the lack of flowers allowed for her hands to lie flat against my chest as I held her close and she looked up into my eyes as her fear dissolved into molten desire. “This is just about you and me today. We’ll deal with the rest when we have to.”
“So you really want to marry me? Not because it’s your mama’s dying wish but because you want it.”
Her need for clarification bothered me a little, but I shoved it aside. I saw the mayor shift a bit under the arch, becoming impatient to get things rolling. I’d have to get her to open up more to me later, but right now, I needed her reciting her vows.
“Darlin’, I don’t do anythin’ I don’t wanna do. No matter how much I’ve tried fightin’ whatever’s between us, I lose just about every time. We’re only standin’ here because I want us to be,” I told her honestly. Something drastic had shifted in me when it came to this woman. I was beginning to need her as much as I needed air to breathe.
“I don’t deserve you,” she told me, looking down at her hands resting on my chest. I moved my hand from her lower back and nudged her chin upward so her eyes were back to gazing into my own.
“I don’t know where you’re gettin’ that idea from, but you’re all wrong. I don’t deserve you, but I’m damn willin’ to spend the rest of my life tryin’ to.” Before she could argue, I covered her mouth with my own, drawing sighs from the few females in the crowd and a clearing of the throat from the mayor. I ignored them all as I brought her back around to the task at hand: getting married.
“We’ll talk later. Right now, we’ve got somethin’ pressin’ we need to attend to,” I told her with a grin after pulling back and leaving her breathless. I could swear I’d kissed her stupid as she blinked at me a few times, trying to collect her scattered thoughts. Without waiting for her response, I tucked her hand back in the crook of my elbow and escorted her back to our places before Mayor Abernathy.
“Sorry ‘bout that. Carissa had a bit of pre-wedding jitters,” I explained easily, and Earl nodded with a sympathetic smile I wanted to knock off his face.
“Dearly beloved…” he said, beginning the ceremony.
The only place my attention was, was Carissa as she stood there paying rapt attention to every word spilling from the man’s mouth. Her lips curved in the smile I knew she’d been wearing since I’d kissed her senseless, whatever had been bothering her, now a distant memory.
Caleb nudged me in the kidney with his sharp elbow, alerting me it was almost my turn in the ceremony. I’d asked him to do that, knowing I’d be too caught up in Carissa to pay proper attention to the words being spoken.
“I do,” I said clearly when prompted, relieved when Carissa echoed the same words at her cue.
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch, and before too much longer, our rings were in place, and I had her bowed over my arm, kissing her senseless once again. Caleb had to tap me on the shoulder multiple times, and Mama finally had to slap the back of my head to get me to break our lip-lock.
I pulled back just enough to stare into those gorgeous hazel eyes and see the happiness glittering back at me instead of the terror I’d seen earlier. I grinned stupidly at her as I righted her, and we turned to face the few people in attendance just as Earl said, “I now present Mr. and Mrs. Kolton Reed.”
Nothing had ever sounded better to my ears than those words as I wrapped Carissa up under my arm and led her over to where the ranch hands had secretly set up a potluck buffet with a few tables. Jakey was manning the grill which had steaks sizzling perfectly on it.
“What’s this?” she asked, surprise lighting up her face.
“We couldn’t get hitched and not properly celebrate it, now could we?” I asked her as I grabbed a pre-poured glass of white wine from the table in front of us and handed it to her before grabbing one for myself. “To us.”
I clinked our glasses together and took a sip, watching her eyes widen as she sipped from her own glass, more out of habit than anything else. It was obvious she was overwhelmed by all of this, so I guided her to a seat and pulled her down onto my lap where I’d been dying to feel her perched every time we sat next to each other.
“Putting on quite the show, are we?” she asked, amusement coloring her tone as she whispered in my ear.
Her lips grazed the shell of my ear, and I moaned quietly so only she could hear me as I fought the erection determined to torture me until I could haul her back to my room. There was no way in hell I wasn’t making her my wife in every way before this day ended. I’d kill anyone who tried to stop me from doing so.
“Only for you, darlin’,” I whispered back before nipping at the corner of her jaw lightly with my teeth, sending a shiver of delight through her body that I felt straight to my cock.
Everyone laughed, talked, and partied almost as if it was just another family cookout, but the overlaying joy was what made it stand out as a true celebration.
“Can’t have a reception without the bride and groom havin’ their first dance,” someone called out, but I was too lost in having Carissa cuddled in my arms to pay attention to who it was.
“There’s no music,”
she laughed, and I loved the sound even more this time than any other time I’d heard it.
“Pick a song,” Justin replied easily as he waved his cell phone in the air at us. “I got ya covered.”
I groaned as the guys all hooted and hollered their encouragement to us. I looked at Carissa, having not one clue as to what a good first-dance song would be for a newly married couple. She widened her eyes when she realized I was deferring to her and shook her head.
“Cross My Heart by George Strait,” Mama called out, shooting a wink in our direction as Justin gave her a thumbs up and went to work pulling up the song.
“Oh I love that one,” Millie cooed. “It’s such a perfect one for those two.”
Nobody else spoke as somehow Justin managed to make the music louder than I’d anticipated from his small phone speakers, and everyone’s eyes turned to us.
“Shall we?” I asked, knowing no one would leave us alone until we’d given in.
“I don’t know how to dance to this,” she whispered in my ear.
I placed her on her feet and stood.
“It’s just a simple slow song,” I said softly as I guided her to a clearing under a tree and spun her into my arms. Hers immediately snaked up and around my neck like they’d done when I kissed her that first time in the kitchen, tangling her fingers in my hair as I guided her in a slow sway to the beat of the song.
About halfway through, I realized I was singing the words quietly to her in her ear as we danced in a slow circle, not even a fraction of an inch of space separating our bodies. I could’ve never imagined a more perfect moment for the two of us if I’d tried.
When the song wrapped up, before we could pull away from each other, another cued up and began playing. This one was a duet between Tim McGraw and his wife, Faith Hill, called It’s Your Love.