A Tale of Beauty
Page 20
“Oh.” Chastity hesitates. “You ... had an argument, then?”
More like a war. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I see.” Another pause. “It’s just that, well, Belle and I also had a bit of a disagreement on Monday morning, and I’ve been trying to call her to apologize, but she’s not picking up her phone and she isn’t responding to my e-mails.”
“So she’s sulking.” Chastity fighting with someone? Now I’ve seen everything. “What did you fight about?”
“Well, it wasn’t a fight, exactly. She was very upset because I hadn’t called her back on Sunday evening.”
That sounds like her. “So what are you going to apologize to her for? Having a life?”
“No, of course not. But I knew that she was upset, and I really should have called her back. If only I hadn’t been so off-balance from David’s invitation to coffee, I’m sure I would have remembered.”
“Whoa, one second. David asked you out?”
I can almost hear her blushing. “I suppose, yes. Just for coffee, as a gesture of gratitude for helping him and Diana with their project.”
I grin. “Is Diana going?”
“Not that he mentioned, no. I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t invite her, but maybe she wasn’t interested.”
“Or maybe it’s a date.”
“Maybe.” She doesn’t sound enthusiastic at all.
“Would that really be so bad?”
“No, not bad ... I mean, of course, David seems to be a very nice man and everything.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
She’s quiet for a second. “I’m not like you, Sue.”
“No kidding. What was your first clue?”
“I’m serious. Men never show any interest in me. And I’m certainly not complaining, because I don’t know what I’d do if they suddenly started tomorrow, but ... I find it hard to believe that David is being anything more than friendly, and I’m doing my best not to get my hopes up until his intentions are a bit more clear.”
“Hm. I understand that.” I smile. “But you’re attracted to him, right?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Bullshit. You either are or you’re not.”
“Oh, alright ... a little bit.” I can just see her squirming. “Can we talk about something else, please?”
“Okay,” I say, still smiling. I’m out of bed, and Chastity’s all grown up and about to land her first boyfriend. If the miracles keep up at this rate, I might even start thinking about sticking my head in a church one of these days.
Chastity
AGAIN, I FIND myself standing in front of Matthew’s building in anticipation of a difficult conversation with him. I ring the buzzer, and his voice crackles over the intercom. “Hi, Matthew. It’s Chastity. May I come up?”
“Chastity?” He sounds hesitant. “Okay ... one sec.” The door unlocks with a click, and I let myself in.
“Hey,” Matthew says as he comes out of the bedroom. This time, he’s dressed, in a pair of track pants and a relatively fresh-looking t-shirt.
“Hi.” I hug him. “How are you?”
“Good.” He gives me a very brief squeeze, then steps back. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
“Oh, yes. I just wanted to see you, discuss a couple of things.” I look around. “I’m not disturbing you, am I?”
“No, we’re just about done here.” I jump at the sound of Lucy’s voice and turn to see her coming out of the bedroom. “Hi, Chastity.”
“Lucy. Hello.” I feel myself turning red and quickly turn back to Matthew. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you had company. I’ll just get my things —”
“Nah, it’s okay. Luce was on her way out, really.”
“Yes. Weekend overtime, I’m afraid. It’s a wonder I still have my Friday evenings off.” Right before my eyes, Lucy steps over to Matthew and kisses him on the mouth.
Matthew glances over at me and pushes Lucy away gently. “I’ll, uh, see you later then?” he says quietly, as though he’s embarrassed.
“Probably.” Lucy places her hand on my shoulder as she passes me on her way out. “Nice to see you, Chastity.” Her politeness is such an obvious mask that I wonder why she bothers with it.
Once she’s gone, Matthew nods toward the couch, and I go and sit down on it. “Sorry about that,” he says.
About what? That she was here, that she kissed you, or that she was cold to me? It doesn’t matter: my answer would be the same in each of those cases: “It’s alright. I don’t mind.”
“Okay. Good. So what’s up? What do you want to talk about?”
“I met Lucy the other day.”
“What, you mean like on the street?”
“No.” Before my courage can evaporate, I proceed to tell him everything.
“She wasn’t supposed to tell you anything about that.” He looks away.
“It’s alright. I’m not upset.”
“Well, I am, damn it! She promised me she wouldn’t say anything.” He seems to be talking more to himself than to me. “Should have known I couldn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut.”
I’m suddenly very aware that I could do quite a bit of damage to his relationship with Lucy by encouraging his anger, which could be accomplished by pretending that she upset me much more than she did. If he’s angry with her, she’ll have less of a hold on him. Isn’t this what I was looking for, some way to do that and give myself an opening to lead him down the right path?
Two months ago, that thought might have appealed to me. Now, it only disgusts me. “Please don’t be angry with her,” I say softly. “She made me promise not to tell you. She didn’t want you to be upset.”
“Right.”
“It’s true.”
He turns to glare at me. “You don’t get it. I trusted her.” He jabs his index finger at me, and I very nearly flinch. “I just asked her one thing, to keep her mouth shut, and she turns around and blabs everything the first chance she gets.”
“She didn’t do it lightly, Matthew. It was a struggle. Even I could see that.” He doesn’t reply. “She did it because she cares about you. I think that she may even have been trying to help us, and that was the only way she could think of to do it.”
“Help us? Do you know how much she hates you? The stuff she says whenever your name comes up ... damned if I’m going to repeat it, but you can imagine.”
“Yes, I can.” I lick my lips. “I can also understand why she feels that way, if all she’s heard is how much I’ve upset you. In her place, I would have felt the same way.”
His expression softens immediately, and he grunts. “That’s not what I meant to say. I ...”
“No. If anyone should apologize, it’s me.” I look down at my clasped hands. “Lucy doesn’t know me. All she has to judge me by is what you’ve told me about her. And she’s right. I was wrong. I’ve been wrong all this time.”
“It doesn’t matter. We said we’d start over, right?”
“Yes, we did.”
“Right. And she knew that.”
“Exactly.” I reach out and place my hand on his arm. “But she also knew that I didn’t know the whole story, and if I hadn’t ...” I would have started up again. “I finally understand what He was trying to say, years ago, what it means to be a bearer of light, and it’s all thanks to Lucy. I’m glad that I know, and we don’t have to talk about it ever again if you don’t want to. I just want to say that I’m sorry.”
He glances down at my hand. “You already apologized, I think,” he says, and one side of his mouth curls up slightly.
“That’s alright. It’s not a sin to apologize for something twice.” I smile at him.
He laughs. “Good thing too. You probably can’t afford any more black marks on that sainthood application.”
“That’s alright,” I say. “There are more important things in life than being a saint.”
That evening, just after dinner, my phone rings.
“Hi, Ch
astity,” Denise says. “How are you?” She sounds stressed.
“Alright. How about you?” I sit down at my desk. “You don’t sound well.”
She exhales heavily. “That obvious, huh?”
“Maybe only to one of your Sisters.” I smile. “What is it?”
“I don’t want to get into it now. Diana’s got more details anyway.” She pauses. “For the meeting tomorrow ...” She trails off.
“Yes? Does Belle want me to bring something?”
“It’s at my place. Belle is ... I don’t even know.”
“What do you mean? Is something wrong with Belle?”
“I really don’t know. I’m hoping Diana does. She just called me and asked if I’d host the meeting.” She pauses, but in the end she just says, “See you around eleven?”
“Yes, of course.” I frown. “Denise, are you sure that you’re okay?”
“I’ll live,” she replies. “I have to get some things done before I go to sleep; I wasn’t expecting to have to entertain tomorrow. Good night.”
“Good night. Thank you for calling.” I set the phone down, and try not to think about what could be so wrong that Belle would not only be unable to host a meeting, but that she wouldn’t tell us about it herself.
Denise
THERE’S ONLY SO much that I can do to prepare for the meeting on a single evening’s notice, but as I take a last look around the apartment at five minutes to eleven, I feel as though I’ve done a decent job. There’s a plate of cookies instead of a cake next to the usual pot of tea, and the place is reasonably tidy, though of course I didn’t have time to go around and dust everything thoroughly. It’s okay: no one’s here to look at your apartment. They’re here for the meeting, to find out what news Diana has about Belle.
The buzzer sounds, and I wait in the hallway for Diana to step out of the elevator. She arrives almost immediately, carrying a black bag along with her purse. “Cutting it a bit fine today, aren’t you?” I say as I hold out my arms.
She steps just close enough for me to hug her, and wraps her free arm around me for all of two seconds before she backs away. “The bus broke down,” she replies as we step into the apartment, and I close the door behind us. “We had to wait ten minutes for a replacement to show up. I was very upset.”
“Well, look on the bright side. You’re still early. What’s in the bag?”
“You’ll see,” she says, and the buzzer sounds again. A minute later, Chastity steps out of the elevator. “We’re only waiting for Sue, then?” Diana says once Chastity’s taken her place on the couch.
“Yes,” I reply.
“Have you been out with David yet?” Diana asks Chastity.
“No, I haven’t. Actually, I haven’t spoken with him since your last day at the mission.”
“Unbelievable,” Diana mutters, but before she can get going, the buzzer rings.
“There she is,” I say as I get up to answer it.
It seems to take Sue a long time to get upstairs. “Hey,” she says as she sweeps me into a very tight hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You too,” I say. “Come on in.”
“Thanks.” She walks in, drops her purse by the door, and goes over to hug Chastity. Diana only gets a stiff nod of acknowledgement. “Whew. You’ve got no idea how great it is to be here,” she says as she throws herself down on one of the floor cushions. “I’m so glad to get out of the house.”
“Did you need us to hold a meeting to manage that?” Diana asks.
Sue’s mouth twists into a half-smile. “I even missed that bitch streak of yours, Diana,” she says lovingly, and looks around the room. “She’s really not here, then?”
“I presume that’s what Diana wanted to talk to us about,” I say.
“So?” Sue asks Diana. “What’s going on?”
Diana’s mouth tenses into a thin line, and she takes a large binder bulging with paper of different colours and sizes from her bag. I don’t recognize it, but from Sue’s sharp inhalation, she does. “Is that what I think it is?” Sue asks, in a voice that’s somewhere between reverence and horror.
“Yes, it is.” Diana sets it down on her lap, then starts looking through her purse.
“What is it?” Chastity asks, turning from Sue to Diana and back again.
“It’s Belle’s. I forget what she called it ... but she got it from that old lady she was always talking about. Greta, or something?”
“Gertrude,” Diana says sharply as she takes an envelope out of her purse and sets it on top of the binder.
“Right, that’s her. Anyway, it’s kind of like a diary, but she kept all her witchcraft crap in there too. It was really important to her; she never even let me touch it.” Sue stares at Diana, who’s waiting with her hands folded over the envelope and the binder. “What are you doing with it?”
“Belle sent it to me,” Diana answers very simply.
“Why?” Sue demands, then adds, more quietly, “Why would she do that? She loves that stupid thing, and no offence, but what are you supposed to do with it, go Wiccan?”
“She sent a letter with it.” Diana takes a sheet of loose-leaf out of the envelope and unfolds it on top of the binder. “You can read it later if you want.”
“What does it say?” Chastity asks as Sue leans forward to snatch it off the table.
“Nonsense. She writes that she’s sorry for failing us, and that she hopes we can turn our lives around before it’s too late. She says something about the wisdom being in here, if only one can find it ...” Diana glances down at the binder.
“Who’s Emily?” Sue looks up from the letter.
Diana opens the binder and taps the photo on the inside cover. I lean forward, and see an old photo of a reasonably attractive woman in a very elaborate wedding dress. “This woman, I think.”
“What makes you think that?” Chastity asks.
“There are some references to a wedding in the older part of the book, the parts that weren’t written by Belle.” Diana closes the binder. “I haven’t read much of it. It gives me a headache.”
“Can I see it?” I reach for the binder, and Diana pushes it toward me. I open it and stare at the woman in the wedding dress for a moment before I begin turning the pages. I can see what Diana means immediately: the handwriting on the first pages, which must be Gertrude’s, is small and difficult to read, and the pages themselves are old and smudged in places. The subject matter isn’t always simple, either: some of it is, as Sue said, journal entries, but other pages contain only words that I’ve never encountered before scrawled alongside strange, almost certainly mystical diagrams. This thing is straight out of a fantasy novel. It’s ... intriguing.
I realize suddenly that no one’s talking, and look up to find them all watching me. “I’m sorry,” I say, and offer them the binder. “Would anyone else like to see it?”
“No, thank you,” Chastity says.
“Nah, it’s okay.” Sue throws the letter down on the table like it’s so much trash. “What the hell’s her deal? She’s talking like she’s never going to see us again or something.”
Chastity reaches for the letter and lifts it gingerly, as though she’s worried it might fall apart in her hands. “Well,” Diana says, “we haven’t been able to get in touch with her for days now, have we?” She looks around. “Now she sends this to us, with that letter.”
“It’s like her testament,” Chastity murmurs, and sets the letter down on the couch between herself and Diana. “She sounds so upset. I’m worried about her.”
Diana doesn’t say anything, but I suspect that she feels the same way. Sue drinks half her tea in a single gulp and drops the cup back into the saucer with a clatter. “She can be such a drama queen,” she says gruffly. “She would do something stupid if she was distraught enough, but I think she just wants to get us worked up.”
No one says anything for a few moments, until I can’t stop myself from asking: “What can we do? Should we go over to her place?”
“No, thanks,” Sue says.
“I think that might be a good idea,” Chastity replies, with a pointed glance at Sue.
“Hey, knock yourself out,” Sue says. “I know she won’t want to see me, and honestly, I don’t really want to see her either, especially if this all turns out to be an attention grab.”
“I don’t think that’s what’s happening,” I say.
“Neither do I,” Diana says. “And I don’t think we’ll find her at home either, but if you want to go, be my guest.”
Chastity frowns. “We can’t just do nothing.”
“Why not?” Sue snorts. “She’ll be in touch when she’s ready. Until then, I have enough crap of my own to deal with without trying to drag Belle out of a pity party.”
I can see both sides of the argument, but considering Belle’s recent behaviour, I’m more inclined to agree with Sue. “It seems to me as though Belle could use some time to herself.” Chastity looks at me as though I’ve suggested we burn the binder and send Belle the ashes, and I add: “Let’s give her a few more days, at least. She’s an adult. She can take care of herself and make her own decisions, and as her friends, we should give her the space to do that if she needs it.”
Chastity looks down at the coffee table, but doesn’t argue. Diana nods. “That’s fine,” she says, almost as though she was waiting to hear what I thought before she made her own decision. Ridiculous. Diana’s never taken cues from anyone. “That’s all I had to say. If no one else has anything to add, we can all get out of Denise’s way and back to our lives.” She folds up the letter and puts it back in the envelope.
I start to hand her the binder, but pause with it an inch or two out of my lap. “Actually, Diana, do you mind if I hold onto this?” I suddenly feel uneasy, as though I’ve crossed several lines at once, and immediately try to explain myself. “I’m curious about what Belle meant in her letter, about wanting us to find wisdom in it? It might give us more insight into what we can do to help her.” That last part was added mostly for Chastity’s benefit, and I’m glad to see her smile as I say it.
“It doesn’t bother me,” Diana says, and stands up. “Is that it, then?”