I could do this.
“Hello, love. You know, you should try and get some rest,” Mum said as she slipped quietly into my room.
“You know I never sleep well in hospitals. Five minutes in my own bed, and I’ll be out like a light,” I replied with a chuckle.
“You’ll be back home in a couple of days.”
“My new home,” I reminded her. “Kieran moved all our stuff to the new house before I ended up in here.”
“Have you both decided what you’re going to do?” she asked me. Her tone was completely partisan, and I loved her for it.
“I wanted to give Kieran some space to really think things through. But, Mum, I really want this baby. I know it isn’t logical or rational to want to put my body through this. I would never have planned a pregnancy, but now that it’s happened, I’m all in, and I think Kieran is too. It’s my body. My risk to take. And I know that my brothers won’t support my decision, but if they take it out on Kieran again, we’re going to have a serious falling out.”
“Your brothers are scared. You may be their big sister, but they’ve been watching over you their whole life. They have no control over this, and it scares them. You just need to do what you always do.”
“What’s that?”
“Defy the odds,” she explained. “Even if that means staying in bed for the rest of your pregnancy. You do what it takes to give this baby the best start and your own body the best chance.”
“You’re not going to fight me about keeping it?”
She sighed heavily in response. “I’ve watched over you every day since you were born, and not a day goes by that I don’t worry about you. It’s the nature of being a mother. But you’ve become a strong, independent woman, and you do things that most people in your situation wouldn’t have dreamt possible. You’re also the most stubborn of all my children. There never was any talking you out of something when you put your mind to it. So no. I’m not going to try and talk you out of it. You’re a grown woman and it’s your body. However, I reserve the right to nag you about taking care of yourself if I think you’re overdoing it.”
“Thanks, Mum. I knew you’d understand.”
“I know a lot’s happened in the last few days, but have you thought about what you’re going to do with the shop if you keep the baby?”
“I guess I’m going to have to look for someone to run it full-time. I don’t want to sell it, but if they put me on permanent bed rest, I don’t want to worry about missing or rearranging appointments all the time.”
“Well, I had an idea that I’d like to run by you. You see, I’ve loved working at the shop these last few years, and even though I might be tooting my own horn, I think I’m pretty good at sales.”
“You sell more dresses than I do.”
“Exactly. There were times I thought I’d like to experiment with different window displays or showcasing open catwalk evenings, but it was your business, and I never wanted to step on your toes. We use Moira for alterations during the busy period, but now that her children are in school, I know she’d like to look for a full-time position. If you like the idea, I’d like to take over the running of the shop, with Moira doing the alterations full-time in your place. Now, your designs outsell everything in the shop and have done for a while. I’d like you to think about designing full-time, so that we can eventually faze everything else out and the shop can stock your work exclusively. It’s what you’ve always wanted to do anyway, and this way you could do it from home without the pressure of running your own business. What do you think?”
“Are you kidding? I think it’s a brilliant idea! But, Mum, that puts a huge responsibility on you. Are you sure you want to take so much on?” I asked her, worried that she was going to overdo things just to try and help me out.
“Honestly, I’ve spend most of my life taking care of our home and raising a family. With the shop, I feel like I’ve found something I’m really good at and that I have a flair for. I enjoy spending all my time there. But I promise, if there comes a time when I’m finding it too much for me, I’ll tell you, and we can look for a new manager.”
“Hey, sis,” a sheepish Tristan said from the doorway.
“Hello,” I replied stiffly.
“Ah, don’t be mad,” Matt added as he and Luca followed in behind Tristan.
“What do you mean don’t be mad? You tore strips off my boyfriend and embarrassed me in front of my doctor. You’re lucky I didn’t let security toss you out on your arse.”
“Do you blame us?” Luca replied. “I mean, we left for the rig and everything’s hunky dory. A few weeks with Kieran and you’re pregnant and laid up in hospital.”
“None of that is his fault. I’m as much to blame about getting careless with contraception as he is. And it’s not as if he’s abandoning me to bring up this baby alone. None of you are being fair to him or acting the least bit like adults. I love you all, I really do, but if you want to be a part of ours and the baby’s life, you need to grow up and stop treating me like a little girl. We need help and support, not snide remarks and the back end of your shitty tempers. Now, either you’re with us on this, or you can fuck off back to the rig, because there’s no compromise,” I told them firmly. Then, when I thought about what I said, I turned to Mum. “Sorry for swearing, Mum.”
She waved me away and looked like she was trying not to crack a smile.
“She gets it from, Ma,” Tristan said to the boys.
“Yeah, I don’t remember Dad ever being that mean,” Tom added.
“Well?” I asked, looking at Luca.
“I’m not happy about it. Having a baby with your medical problems is a really bad idea. But now that I’ve had some time to calm down and think about it, I know you wouldn’t get rid of it. We’ll give you all the help and support that we can,” he said.
I crossed my arms, raised an eyebrow, and waited. Luca rolled his eyes at me.
“Fine. We promise not to beat the shit out of your boyfriend as well,” he added.
“You could try,” I scoffed.
“Hey now, you don’t think the three of us could take him?” Tristan asked.
“I have my doubts,” I replied with a wry smile.
The boys launched into a huge debate as to why and how they could take Kieran, and any of the Driscoll’s boys, and I laid back against my pillows, relieved that my family seemed to be at peace again.
***
Kieran texted me throughout the day to check in, but I was rarely alone. My brothers rotated their visits between my room, the nurses’ station and the cafeteria, and I wondered if the hospital was supposed to stick to allocated visiting hours. If they were, my brothers ignored them. Whether it was because I was in a private room, or because they’d been using their considerable charm on the nursing staff at any available opportunity, I didn’t know. Still, I wasn’t complaining. Now that they’d seemed to come around a bit, they were actually a lot of fun to spend time with. After all, they were well practiced at keeping me entertained in hospital.
Em popped by quickly to say hello and to bring me some chocolates and a get-well-soon card, but she didn’t want to leave Tommy for long. Nat came in as she was leaving.
“So I saw Tristan earlier in the lobby, and he tells me you’ve got a bun in the oven!” she said, throwing her arms around me and giving me a huge squeeze. She lugged a huge carrier bag with her and began to unpack my body weight in fruit onto my bed.
“He’s got such a lovely way with words,” I told her.
“I can’t believe you’re having a baby!” she said excitedly.
I knew Nat wouldn’t really understand the implications of being pregnant with my heart condition, but I wasn’t about to disabuse her of her happiness. It was kind of refreshing to be around someone so unreservedly enthusiastic.
“I know! I’m not sure what kind of a mother I’ll make, but I’m looking forward to trying.”
“You’ll make a brilliant mother. I can’t believe you’re
having a baby before me though!”
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly planned. Kieran blames his super sperm,” I told her jokingly.
“I know it came as a bit of a surprise,” she said, “but do you have any regrets?”
“Not about us or the baby. I regret not taking a taxi to our new place. I’d give anything for Tommy not to have been hurt. It’s killing Kieran knowing that one of his best friends is fighting for his life and that there’s nothing he can do about it, especially as it was Kieran’s bike he came off. No matter what anyone says, I think he blames himself for the accident.”
“That’s crazy,” she replied. “Bad things happen to good people all the time. It’s not his fault.”
“Try telling him that. I don’t think he’ll be completely himself until Tommy recovers.”
“Is he excited about the baby?” she asked, smiling.
“I think so, but it’s still early days yet. So don’t go out buying anything, okay? I don’t want to jinx it,” I warned her, knowing that mentally she probably already had little bean’s first wardrobe picked out.
“Fine!” she huffed, good-naturedly. “I can’t really buy anything anyway until I know how big the baby will be. And I don’t envy you there.”
“Why?” I asked curiously.
“Well, your guy is a heavyweight fighter and your brothers are huge. With genes like that, this baby is bound to be massive!”
I froze as I contemplated with alarm the idea of my tiny frame trying to deliver a twelve-pound baby.
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she said, seeing the look of abject horror across my face. “From what you told me about the size of his ‘you know what,’ and the number of times you guys have been at it, this baby will probably walk out.”
My jaw dropped in shock, and as she burst out laughing at my expression, I threw a grape at her to shut her up.
***
By the time Nat left, I was exhausted. I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t sleep in hospital though. Maybe it was something about sleeping in such a public place that made me feel vulnerable. But whatever it was, the rest I so desperately needed was elusive. Hearing the creak of my door and seeing the slither of light shine across my bed, I smiled, knowing that he wouldn’t wait until morning to see me.
“Hey, Irish. How’s my girl?”
We’d only been apart for a matter of hours, but that deep, delicious accent that was so familiar still made me tingle. I heard him kick off his boots and shrug off his hoodie before he lifted the sheet and slid into bed behind me.
“Now are you talking to me or the baby?” I replied.
“It’s a girl?” he asked, his body completely frozen.
“I was joking, you lunatic. I have no idea. I don’t think you can even tell until around four months. Why? Would having a girl be a bad thing?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether any of the other lads end up having boys. I don’t fancy the idea of having to chase any of their randy offspring away from my daughter,” he replied, making me laugh.
“And if your boy becomes one of the randy offspring?” I asked, still chuckling.
“No problem. I’ll just teach him to use contraception better than his da.”
His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back into the warmth of his body. His thigh settled in between mine, and all of the vulnerability and anxiety that I felt earlier about lying there alone just slipped away.
“Sleep now, love. I’ve gotcha,” he whispered in my ear.
“I love you,” I told him as I drifted off to sleep.
“Not as much as I love you,” he whispered back.
***
The next morning, I woke to find Kieran sitting in the chair next to my bed, watching me intently.
“How is it you look so perfect first thing in the morning, and I probably look and smell like roadkill?” I asked him, making him chuckle.
“You look adorable, and you smell like home,” he told me, and I melted.
“I love it when you go mushy on me.”
He gave me a pained smile.
“What is it?” I asked him seriously.
“I didn’t want to tell you last night, because I knew you wouldn’t sleep, but Alastair stopped me in the hospital car park yesterday. He pissed me off by telling me to stay away from you, but he started acting all crazy when I told him you were pregnant. Irish, he admitted that he was the driver of the car that hit you. He assumed it was me with one of the boys on the back, and that with me out of the picture, you’d fall into his arms and live happily ever after,”
“Oh my God. You’re kidding me? I figured that he wasn’t well, but I never imagined that he could be capable of something like this. How could he?”
“Look, it gets worse. After everything that went down with your brothers, and after finding out that he put you and Tommy in hospital, I lost it. I beat the crap out of him. I would have kept going as well, but Con pulled me off.”
“Are you okay?” I asked, only just noticing his split and bruised knuckles.
“Yeah, I’m better for lying in your arms all night. You anchor me when I’m feeling lost, you know?”
I nodded in reply. I did know, because he did the same for me.
“I don’t know what sort of shape he’s in, but quite frankly, I couldn’t give a fuck. I’d be dead right now if he had his way. And if Tommy dies, he’d better fucking hide, because if I find him, I’ll finish what I started.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked. It terrified me that I’d never realised that Alastair was capable of something like this.
“We are not going to do anything, love. Your job is to rest and take care of yourself. I’m going down to the police station with Con later today, and I’m going to give a statement about what went down. Hopefully, they’ll find something at the accident that ties it to Alastair. If not, the police will at least interview him and maybe they’ll work out how fucking crazy he actually is.”
“Shouldn’t I come with you? They’ll want to interview me as well, won’t they?”
“If they do, they’ll come here and I’ll be with you. In the meantime, I think I gave him enough of a beating to scare him off, but I want to let your brothers know what went down so they can make sure you aren’t left alone until I get back.”
“He wouldn’t try anything here though, would he? I mean, we’re in a hospital. There are cameras everywhere.”
“No, I don’t think he would either, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. When it comes to you and the baby, I’m not taking any chances with your safety. Plus, I know you’ll worry the whole time I’m gone. At least now you’ll have your brothers to distract you,” he said, smiling.
He leant over to grab my hand and laid a kiss in my palm before wrapping his big hand around mine. The way he stared deep into my eyes was so intense. Neither of us looked away until the doctor came in on his rounds.
“Good morning, Miss Kelly, how are you feeling today?” he asked.
“Ready to go home,” I told him truthfully.
“Looking at your observations, I think we’ll be able to grant that wish today. Have you thought any more about what we discussed yesterday?”
I looked towards Kieran for confirmation, and he nodded with a smile.
“We understand the risks, and plans are underway for me to give up work so that I can relax and take it easy during the pregnancy. We’ve decided to keep the baby,” I told him. When he asked for my decision, there was no hesitation. With Kieran’s hand in mine, I’d never felt so loved, so protected, and so sure of the future.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kieran
“I understand. I’m still going to refer you to your own cardiologist who will be in touch shortly. I imagine that he will want to see you for a further consultation and to set up regularly scheduled appointments throughout your pregnancy. In the meantime, I’d like to do an ultrasound before I discharge you, if that’s
okay with you,” the doctor said.
“That would be great, thank you,” Irish replied.
She looked so fucking pretty. Sure, she was scratched and bruised, but without even a stitch of makeup, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
A few hours later, we were waiting patiently outside the ultrasound department when Irish caught me staring.
“What?” she questioned.
“You’ve been rocking this ‘Sarah Connor’ vibe since you woke up this morning, like you’re ready to point a gun at the next person who threatens our kid. It’s pretty fuckin’ sexy.”
“Sarah Connor really does it for you, huh?”
“Nah, but I’m picturing you in full tactical gear right now, and that’s really doing it for me.”
“You always know how to make me smile.”
“No matter how difficult things get, I promise I’ll always be there to make you smile,” I vowed.
Leaning forward, she kissed me gently on the lips and, slipping her arm through mine, laid her head on my shoulder. All around me the world stopped, and the subtle scent of apples filled my lungs. Through the pain and noise, the heartache and chaos, she was my peace. Her strength and optimism gave me hope that somehow, despite all the shite the world was throwing my way, everything was going to be all right.
“Marie Kelly?” a nurse called out, breaking the spell. Hand in hand, we followed her to a small room where another technician was waiting.
“Hi. My name is Miranda, and I’ll be doing your ultrasound today. Can you lay down on the bed for me and lift your top up until it rests just beneath your bra?” she asked Irish. Felling like a bit of a useless prick, I sat down in the “Dad” chair next to the bed and reached for Irish’s hand.
Earlier this morning, I’d downloaded a pregnancy app to my phone that would show me day by day how the baby was growing and what Irish would be feeling. Tommy would have loved giving me shit about it. Fuck, I missed him. It was funny how you didn’t realise how deeply a part of your life someone was until they were gone. He might still be alive, but I felt like he was lost.
The Storm Page 24