Text Me Baby One More Time

by Teagan Hunter

“Sure, understandable, but care to tell me why she was at the charity event with you in the first place? Last I heard you were taking Penny.”

  “Shh!” I whisper angrily, peering over at Denny and Allie to make sure neither of them heard that.

  They aren’t paying us a lick of attention.

  “Keep that shit on the DL,” I tell my friend.

  He jerks his head back. “She doesn’t know about that?”

  “No, and I want to keep it that way.”

  “What are you up to, Shepard?”

  “A bunch of none of your goddamn business.”

  My eyes drift back over to Denver, loving how animated and into the conversation she is. She’s genuinely happy for her best friend, and I love that about her.

  She once told me about her goals for life. She’d meet the one in college, they’d fall madly in love with just the right amount of angst in their relationship, and then when college was over, they’d get hitched, spending the rest of their days happy as fucking clams.

  Or some shit like that.

  I know she wanted that to be us.

  I sure as shit screwed that one up.

  “Just be careful, man,” AJ says. “Last time you two were together it didn’t end well. She wrecked you.”

  My eyes still focused on Denny, I tell him, “No, AJ, I wrecked us, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”

  FOURTEEN

  DENVER

  “I NEED you to not freak out when I tell you what I’m about to tell you.”

  “Well, that’s super reassuring.” Monty tosses her long hair over her shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  She sits across from me at the breakfast bar, another Wednesday already here, another stack of pancakes to be had.

  I flip the one sitting in the pan, avoiding her curious stare.

  “Wait!” She holds her hand up. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

  “What? No! Babies are gross!” I shiver in disgust. “I’m way too diligent about that shit to get knocked up.”

  “Good.” She sits back, looking relieved. “That’s good. So, what’s up then?”

  I take a deep breath, ready to unleash years and years of secrets on my sister.

  Luckily for me, I know she’s way too nice to try to maim me for keeping my mouth zipped tight. Plus, she knows the kind of house we grew up in, knows why I needed to keep this secret.

  At least I hope she knows.

  “Okay, so, remember in high school how I told you I had this…pen pal?”

  “I remember,” she says.

  “Well, remember when we started texting on my secret phone because I said buying stamps was getting too expensive?”

  “Yes…though now I realize that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”

  “No, it doesn’t, especially considering those damn phone cards cost a whole hell of a lot more than a fucking stamp.”

  She laughs. “Very true.”

  I note the way she doesn’t flinch when I use profanity, a huge step up from the Monty of last year.

  I guess that’s what happens when your prim and proper twin sister snags herself a tattooed bad boy…who also happens to be one hell of a sexy single dad.

  If only I’d seen him first…

  I move the finished pancake to a plate then slide it over to Monty.

  “What about that though?”

  “Well…” I drag out, pouring more batter into the skillet. “I was texting with a guy.”

  She lifts a cardigan-clad shoulder. She might be dating a bad boy, but the girl still dresses like she’s a kindergarten teacher. “I kind of figured that much.”

  “He’s…” I lick my suddenly dry lips and decide to just rip the band-aid off. “Fuck it. He’s kind of the reason I moved across the country.”

  A crease forms between her brows. “I thought you moved to go to school with Allie.”

  “I mean, technically I did, but it was also because of him. He’s best friends with AJ.”

  Her mouth drops open. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Yeah, well, I wasn’t expecting him.” I shake my head. “Anyway, I came out here to be with him. I—”

  She holds her hand up again and I pause.

  She swallows the food in her mouth. “Sorry. I had a question.”

  “Go on.”

  “When you say be with him, you mean…”

  I sigh. “I was in love with him, Monty.”

  Her fork clatters to the plate and I glance over at her. She’s shocked.

  “But you didn’t even know him!”

  “Says the girl who met her boyfriend in a bar bathroom then proceeded to text him for weeks and weeks before falling in love with him.”

  Her shoulders sag in defeat.

  “I didn’t know him?” I challenge.

  She shakes her head. “No, no, you’re right.” She stabs another piece of pancake and lifts her fork to her mouth. “Keep going.”

  I flip the pancake and continue. “Like I said, I was in love with him, like move across the goddamn country and leave my life behind kind of love. I was delusional.”

  “You were young.”

  “I was stupid,” I argue. “I was so stupid because it turned out he didn’t love me like I thought he did.”

  “What does that mean?”

  The night of Shep’s betrayal runs through my mind, but I refuse to relive that torment in story form with Monty.

  The memories are bad enough.

  “It’s not important. We’ll just say it didn’t work out.”

  “But you’ll tell me eventually, right?”

  “Maybe when you’re older,” I tease. It’s something I’ve always told her and something that’s always annoyed her, because I’m only five minutes older than she is.

  “Brat.”

  I point the spatula her way. “First, I cannot believe you just called me a brat. Second, now I’m really not telling you.”

  She rolls her eyes and I laugh. I’ve always loved the sassy side of my sister.

  “Anyway, things didn’t work out, so we went our separate ways, but I still had to see him all the time considering we attended the same college. Luckily Allie was kind enough to not try to force me to attend group dates with him, but that didn’t stop him from whoring around campus.” I grit my teeth together at the thought of seeing Shep with anyone other than me.

  Not that I haven’t seen it plenty of times—I have—but it doesn’t make it hurt any less, even now.

  “What does that have to do with now?”

  “Well, he’s kind of…back in my life.”

  “Because of the wedding, right? That should be over soon because your friends are loony enough to spring a wedding on everyone that’s less than two months away.”

  “Breathe before you get yourself all worked up,” I tell her, finding it very amusing how the thought of someone else rushing their big day makes her stressed out.

  Only Monty.

  “He’s back because of the wedding, but there’s more. I…well, I’m kind of whoring myself out for my career.”

  Her green eyes grow three times in size. “You mean you’re sleeping with him for a job?”

  “What? No! I’m sleeping with him because he’s hot. The job part is just a bonus.” The words I just spoke hit me and I quickly backtrack. “Wait—no! I’m not sleeping with him.”

  “You’re not?”

  “No!” I nearly shout. “We made out last Friday and I stayed the night at his house—in a separate bedroom, though—but that’s it. No other funny business. The only action I got was from Steve.”

  “And Steve is?”

  “His pug.”

  She pushes herself off the barstool, slamming her hand down on the countertop. “He has a pug?! You go marry that man right now, Denver!”

  Laughing, I busy myself with flipping my pancake onto my own plate and slathering some butter on the sweet deliciousness. Forgoing the syrup, I rip off a piece and stuff it in my m
outh.

  “I can’t marry him. I haven’t slept with him yet—what if he sucks in bed?”

  She blushes. “You want to though.”

  “Huh?” I glance up to my sister, my mouth full of food, though that doesn’t stop it from hanging open at her words.

  “You want to,” she repeats. “Sleep with him, I mean. Even after he hurt you, you still love him.”

  “I do not love him. I just…I think he’s changed in the last five or so years. I’m not entirely opposed to giving him a second chance.”

  I can feel her eyes on me and do my best not to feed into the attention, tearing my pancake apart and stuffing piece after piece into my mouth.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” Monty says, and I note the worry in her voice.

  I push off the counter with a heavy sigh, sliding my plate away from me, my appetite lost. “Probably not, but worst thing that happens is he breaks my heart again. I already know how to clean that mess up, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.”

  “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Denny.”

  “I know it is, but it’s giving me the courage I need to finally go after what I really want from him—sex. Besides, we could always just do the whole no-strings-attached thing. We don’t have to turn it into something more.”

  She laughs dryly. “Don’t fall for that one. I did, and look where it got me.”

  “Where? Happy as hell? Madly in love with a walking, talking sex machine? Don’t even try to complain about that.”

  Her cheeks heat again and she ducks her head. “Hush.”

  I gather our plates and rinse them off in the sink while Monty cleans up the mess I made with the batter.

  “For what it’s worth,” she starts as she slides the butter back into the fridge. “I think you have a really good judge of character. If you think this guy of yours has changed, maybe he has. Go after it. See where it leads. Lord knows you need to find yourself a man and settle down soon before you become an old spinster.”

  “Oh my gosh, you catch yourself a man and suddenly we all need to immediately follow suit.”

  “I caught myself a man and a kid.”

  “How’s that going anyway? Playing mom?”

  She sighs contentedly. “It’s amazing. I love the little rascal, and his dad.”

  “I love seeing you so happy, Monty. It’s about time.”

  “I agree.” She tucks the syrup away and closes the cabinet. “Now explain this…exchange you’re doing for a job.”

  “Ah, yes, that.” I load the plates and skillet into the dishwasher before turning to her. “Well, I promised him I’d be his date to some charity events and to the wedding—which, by the way, you’re coming to—in exchange for him giving me an exclusive for the paper. He’s notorious for not doing interviews, so it’s kind of a big deal, like get me that promotion I’ve been after for months kind of big deal.”

  “That one with the cushy office?”

  “That’s the one, sis.” I shoot a finger gun in her direction. “A few measly dates are totally worth the exclusive.”

  She opens her mouth but snaps it closed again just as quickly, shaking her head. Her lips tuck inward, like she’s trying to keep them from moving on their own.

  “Out with it,” I demand.

  “I-I…I…”

  “Montana Andrews, tell me right now.”

  “Fine.” She holds her hand up. “Fine. It’s just that…is the interview worth the potential heartbreak?”

  Is the promotion going to make things easier for me in my field? Yes. Is it going to give me a few extra bucks a month to squirrel away for my student loans? Hell fucking yes. Are the games I have to play with Shep in order to get it worth all that?

  “I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.”

  She nods, her lips still pressed tightly together. “Just be careful, Denny.”

  I grin at her. “Where’s the fun in that?”

  FIFTEEN

  Six years ago, December

  Denver: You didn’t.

  Denver: PLEASE tell me you didn’t!

  Shepard: I don’t know what I didn’t do, but if you say I didn’t do it, I definitely didn’t do it.

  Shepard: God, that was confusing.

  Shepard: What are you going on about?

  Denver: I got my Christmas present today. There are HOLES in the box.

  Shepard: IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS, YOU HEATHEN! Last I checked Christmas was celebrated December 25th, and it is most definitely only December 23rd.

  Denver: If you think I’m waiting TWO WHOLE days to open this, you’re clearly on drugs.

  Shepard: Cocaine. It’s the rich man’s drug.

  Denver: I’M OPENING IT!

  Shepard: SPOILER ALERT: it’s not a puppy. I just put the holes in there to be funny and confuse you.

  Denver: WAY TO RUIN THE SURPRISE!

  Shepard: I got my gift too, but I’ve been waiting to open it like the goddamn gentleman I am. Does this mean I get to open it?

  Denver: I’m 9% certain you’re not allowed to say “goddamn” when referring to a Christmas present.

  Shepard: Only 9%?

  Denver: Ugh. I meant 97%. OBVIOUSLY.

  Shepard: Of course. How could I not know that?

  Denver: On the count of three, let’s both open them.

  Shepard: Too late.

  Denver: CHEATER!

  Shepard: I was kidding.

  Denver: One…

  Shepard: Two…

  Denver: GO!

  Denver: Oh duck. HOLY DUCK, SHEP.

  Shepard: I’m 9% certain I did not send you a duck.

  Denver: Are they all signed?!

  Shepard: Yes.

  Denver: OH MY GOD!

  Denver: But how?!

  Shepard: I bought a Sharpie and signed them. Duh.

  Denver: No you didn’t. I see the letter of authenticity.

  Denver: How did you get your hands on these?

  Shepard: eBay. Did you know people are super nerdy and super into their signed comics? I had no idea there was that much out there.

  Denver: This had to have cost a fortune. You really shouldn’t have done this.

  Shepard: It was nothing. I mean, sure, I’ll be working until I’m 70 to pay off the debt, but it’s no big deal. You’re worth it.

  Shepard: I hope.

  Denver: Thank you. Seriously. This means the world to me.

  Denver: Did you open yours yet?

  Shepard: No. I’m waiting until Christmas because I’m a goddamn angel.

  Denver: 9% certain, Shep. 9%.

  Denver: So…did you open it?

  Shepard: It is 7AM. Are you insane?

  Denver: Um…IT’S CHRISTMAS! Wake your ass up!

  Shepard: I told you Santa wasn’t real. Go back to sleep. He won’t be mad.

  Denver: Get up and open it!

  Shepard: How can you live thousands of miles away and still be so damn demanding?

  Denver: It’s a gift. Now move.

  Shepard: I’m going, I’m going.

  Denver: WELL?

  Shepard: Will you give me a damn minute? It’s really hard to pee with morning wood.

  Denver: I’m sorry, but are you texting me while you’re touching your dick?

  Shepard: No. I’m not touching it. I’m sitting down.

  Denver: You’re SITTING to pee?

  Shepard: It’s easier in the mornings! STOP JUDGING.

  Denver: I didn’t say a thing.

  Denver: What about now?

  Shepard: I’m going to kiss you so hard.

  Denver: That doesn’t have the same effect now that I know you’re madly in love with me.

  Shepard: Like, Denver. I LIKED you.

  Denver: GASP! Did you just use PAST TENSE?

  Denver: …but you’re totally kidding, right?

  Shepard: Guess we’ll see.

  Shepard: I find it very funny we both sent each other comics for Christmas.

  Shepard: I love thes
e. I’ve never read a comic before (my brother wouldn’t let me touch his) so I’m pretty excited about these.

  Denver: Did you open them?

  Shepard: More demands. *eye roll* Hang on.

  Denver: *waits impatiently*

  Shepard: Well well well.

  Denver: WELL?

  Shepard: This might be my favorite Christmas present ever, and I once got a guitar AND an iPhone the same year.

  Denver: Do you still like me?

  Shepard: Yes, Denver. I still like you. I’m really fucking excited you’re coming here for college.

  Denver: That’s four whole years I get to annoy you.

  Denver: I’m coming early too. I got a journalism internship.

  Shepard: The one for Bradford?

  Denver: Yep.

  Shepard: You’re telling me we get to spend the entire summer together too?

  Denver: No way!

  Shepard: Best. Christmas. Ever. (Unless I end up hating you.)

  Denver: I doubt it.

  Denver: You’re, uh, you’re kind of my best friend, Shep.

  Shepard: You’re kind of my best friend too. I don’t call you Bucky for nothing.

  Denver: Bucky and Cap were totally lovers, not besties.

  Shepard: So you’re saying you want to bang me?

  Denver: OMG. No.

  Denver: Merry Christmas, Captain.

  Shepard: Merry Christmas, Bucky.

  Shepard: We’ll come back to that banging thing later.

  Denver: It’s almost midnight on the east coast.

  Shepard: Wow. Thanks for telling me. All of our clocks actually stopped working.

  Denver: Smartass.

  Denver: I was telling you that because being honest is my New Year’s resolution and I have something I’d like to confess.

  Shepard: Of course you’re one of those people who believe in NY resolutions. Of course you are.

  Denver: Shut up.

  Shepard: Sorry (not). Confess away. I’m all ears.

  Denver: I’m not going to pussyfoot around it like you did.

  Shepard: I don’t know…this feels like pussyfooting to me.

  Denver: I like you too.

  Shepard: I know you do.

  Denver: UGH. That is NOT the right response, Shepard!

  Shepard: Oh, I’m sorry. Let me act surprised then.

  Shepard: Golly gee, I had NO idea. Wow. I’m SO flattered.

  Denver: I lied. I hate you again.