“Are you going to spit it out anytime soon?” Allie presses.
“Sorry,” Monty mumbles. “Anyway, I think since you’ve hidden this Slug guy for so many years—I mean, almost nobody knows about him—you had a reason for doing so. You care for him, a lot more than you’re willing to admit to others and to yourself, and that’s totally fine. I just think there’s a reason you haven’t jumped into the sack with him yet. He means more. It will mean more. Therefore, you can’t just do the no-strings-attached thing.”
“That is literally what was just running through my mind,” I say quietly, stunned.
Monty sits there looking quite proud of herself.
“Is that true, Denny? You’re still into him like that?”
I glance to Allie, worrying my lip between my teeth, and give her a short nod.
“Ha!” She pumps her fist into the air, dancing around like she just won the lottery. “AJ totally owes me twenty bucks!”
“What the hell, Allie!”
She stops her dancing, her breathing erratic because my best friend is a spaz. “What? We knew you two were still into each other. Did you know he called AJ the other day to talk about it? Did you also know Penny was supposed to be his date to all these events but he canceled on her so he could invite you instead? You two are in love.” She draws the word out, making kissing noises at the phone. “L-O-V-E!”
She starts crooning Nat King Cole, and I so desperately want to push that little red button and shut her up.
I don’t hate Shep anymore.
But I don’t still love him either.
That’s not possible…right?
“Allie!”
“Oh my gosh, I was trying to sing for you, you brat!”
Monty picks up singing where Allie stopped, and I throw the nearest pillow at her, smacking her right in the face.
“Vindication!” I yell as she tosses it back, missing me. “And I totally wanna slap you both. I do not love him.”
“Uh huh.” Allie rolls her eyes.
“Whatever you say,” Monty agrees.
I point to Monty then the door. “You, out.” Then I look at Allie. “I’m hanging up.”
“I love you…but not as much as you love Slug. Okayseeyabye.”
She hangs up as my finger hovers over the button.
Monty falls back onto the bed in a fit of laughter. I grab the pillow again and cover her face, suffocating her.
“Ah, I can’t wait to be an only child.”
“We still have Chuck!” I make out despite her voice being muffled.
I lift the pillow for just a second, giving her a sinister grin.
“For now.”
TWENTY-ONE
Five years ago, April
Denver: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Shepard: What is that?
Shepard: Is that a dog crate?
Denver: It is. I found it at a garage sale for $5. I bet a pug could fit inside with plenty of room to spare.
Shepard: It totally could, especially if it’s invisible. Lots of room to spare.
Denver: You are a dream crusher.
Shepard: Hey, I’m not saying you can’t buy your own pug one day. I’m just not buying you one.
Denver: Uh huh. We’ll see about that.
Denver: Do you know how many dicks I’d have to suck on the street corner to buy a pug? Good thing I didn’t throw out my hooker heels from homecoming.
Shepard: At least ten.
Denver: OH MY GOD. So you WANT me to whore myself out?
Shepard: I mean, it’s a pug, Den—who wouldn’t whore themselves out for a pug?
Denver: I’ve been thinking…you should fly out here.
Shepard: Yeah? That would be kind of cool.
Denver: It would be, because then I could slap the shit out of you.
Shepard: Wow. Tell me how you really feel.
Denver: I don’t think I can type for that long.
Shepard: I’m going to assume that’s because you love me so, so much.
Denver: Sure. We’ll go with that.
Shepard: Wait, did you buy the dog crate?
Denver: …yes
Shepard: I’m rethinking so many things right now. You’re insane.
Denver: Uh huh. You’re just looking for an excuse to get out of our…arrangement.
Denver: You know, that sounds SO weird to say, like we’re in some sort of arranged marriage.
Shepard: It does feel a little weird.
Shepard: But it also feels weird calling you my girlfriend or some shit like that.
Denver: Yeah, that’s taking things too far, especially since we haven’t met.
Shepard: Besides, I’ve definitely been cheating on you for months with my other “girlfriend”.
Denver: Fair point.
Shepard: What about…mine?
Denver: No.
Denver: Too barbaric.
Shepard: Fine, fine.
Shepard: Dibs! You’re my dibs!
Denver: Hmm…I like this.
Denver: I think we can roll with this. Besides, that makes all this seem a whole lot less serious.
Denver: Not that this isn’t serious, because it is, but you get what I mean.
Denver: I think.
Shepard: If anyone gets it, I get it.
Shepard: How in the hell did we let this happen?
Denver: It was totally my charm and wit.
Shepard: Pretty sure you fell for MY charm and wit.
Denver: Oh, please. You’re the one who fell in love first.
Denver: LIKE! I mean like.
Denver: Shep? Did I lose you?
Shepard: I’m still here, Den.
Denver: Sorry, I didn’t mean that.
Shepard: You should.
Denver: Huh? Should what?
Shepard: Mean that. You should mean that.
Denver: Oh.
Shepard: Yeah. Oh.
Denver: Well, hell, now I’m never gonna get a pug.
Shepard: What?
Denver: How am I going to whore myself out knowing
you’re in love with me?
Shepard: I’m…sorry?
Denver: You should be! I really wanted that pug.
Shepard: Bucky?
Denver: *grumbles* What.
Shepard: I’ll buy you a pug.
Denver: WILL YOU REALLY?
Shepard: Yes. Now quit talking about whoring yourself out.
Shepard: You know, for someone who isn’t allowed to do a whole lot of things normal teens are allowed to do, you sure do have a wild imagination.
Denver: I blame Allie.
Shepard: I could kiss Allie right now.
Denver: You’re totally thinking about blow jobs, aren’t you?
Shepard: Nah.
Shepard: Also, yes.
Denver: Cap?
Shepard: Hang on, I’m trying to concentrate.
Denver: Oh my god, quit being weird!
Shepard: One more month, Bucky. One more month.
Denver: One more month until what?
Shepard: Until I kiss you so goddamn hard.
Denver: You countin’ down the days?
Shepard: Maybe.
Denver: 32.
Shepard: Now who’s in love?
Denver: Me.
TWENTY-TWO
SHEPARD
THE SOUND of my favorite Sinatra song I’ve Got You Under My Skin fills the cab as we cruise down the highway, and I can’t help but grin because this song is just so fitting for us.
“What are you smiling about?” Denny asks.
I shake my head and lie, “Just that I can’t believe you still have that dog crate.”
“I mean, you’re welcome.”
“Did you even have a dog over the last five years?”
She shakes her head, running her hand over the pug curled in her lap. “Nope. I was saving it for Steve.”
“And what did you do with it in the meantime?”
“Threw a piece of plywood on
top, covered it with a blanket, and called it a shelf.”
I give her an incredulous look.
“What?” she says. “I was a broke-ass college student! I mean, I had just picked up my entire life and moved two thousand miles away from home for some boy I love.”
I stop breathing.
Love?
“Loved…w-with a D—past tense,” she says, trying to play it cool but failing miserably as she stammers the words out.
Huh.
“What was that? You want my D?”
“Don’t make me vomit, Shep.”
“Can you really say that given how many orgasms you’ve had from my tongue alone?”
She brushes an invisible hair away from her face, shifting in her seat. “I…suppose that’s a fair point.”
“That’s what I thought. You’re welcome.” I glance over at her. “I don’t know how you think we’re going to sneak him into the hotel.”
“I brought my movie theater purse.”
“Movie theater purse?”
“You know, the bag you take to the movies so you can shove all your snacks in there, like a burger and fries.”
“You take a burger and fries into the theater?”
“Once.” She shrugs like this is the most normal thing in the world. “Sometimes you’re just extra hungry and trying to catch that cheap movie night and you’re running out of time, so you improvise. It happens.”
“Remind me to stop taking you out in public.”
“Oh whatever. You’re just jealous you don’t have a movie purse. Besides, you can still take me to the movies. It’s dark in there, so no one will know we’re together.”
“Is this your way of asking me to take you to the movies?”
She taps at her chin and Steve huffs when she stops petting him. “I wouldn’t argue with a real date.”
“Real date, huh? So breakfast the other morning doesn’t count as a real date? Or what about taking you to all these galas? Dress shopping?”
“All of those were obligations.”
“Breakfast was an obligation?”
“Yes. You give a girl an orgasm, you’re obligated to feed her breakfast. Don’t you know the rules?”
I laugh. “Clearly I don’t.”
“No wonder you haven’t settled down after all these years.”
I was waiting for you.
“I mean, besides the fact that you were so obviously pining over me.”
I eye her. “Is that so?”
“I said obviously, didn’t I?”
“You saying you paid attention to me?”
“I’m sorry, but have you seen your ass? You might have been a total dick to me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes, Shep.”
I cough out a surprised laugh. “I mean, it’s nice to know you still used me as man meat all these years.”
“Are you implying I flicked my bean to thoughts of….” She shudders. “You?”
“I wasn’t, but since you brought it up, I can only assume it’s true.”
The wheels in her head are spinning as she tries to figure out how to lie her way out of this one. It’s obvious in the way her eyes brighten with embarrassment.
“W-Well, it’s not,” she finally manages to utter.
“Uh huh. Whatever you say, Den.”
“Shepard!” She shoves her finger in my direction. “Take it back!”
“Nah. I kind of like the idea of you…how did you put it? Flicking your bean to the thought of me.”
“Shepard!”
I reach forward and crank up Sinatra.
“This isn’t over!” she yells over the crooning.
Not by a long shot.
“ARE you trying to give me a heart attack, Den? Do you want me to walk around with a raging fucking hard-on all night?”
She smiles at me sheepishly. “It’s just a dress. Calm yourself.”
“Just a dress my ass,” I mutter as she focuses on getting her earring in the hole while I let my eyes roam over the beauty in front of me. “The way you look tonight… It’s… Damn.”
She smiles as I quote Sinatra to her and take in her delectable figure.
She’s wearing the black cutout dress…finally. I could pat myself on the back for how well I did with picking that one out. I knew the moment I saw it hanging on the changing room door it was the dress for her. I had to slip Annabelle an extra hundred bucks for her to take it from the other woman, and it was worth it.
Especially for the way it hugs her ass.
It’s moments like these I want to punch myself for giving us up all those years ago—not the moments of having my eyes on her ass, but these small ones.
Us in a hotel room, getting ready for yet another event.
Steve curled up on the pillow. It was comical watching her try to sneak him inside in her purse, not knowing I paid extra to get us a pet-friendly room.
Denny’s makeup is sitting next to all my crap on the counter.
All the small things and moments leading up to the big ones—I missed them all, and I’m a fool for letting my fears and doubts get in the way.
“Are you done?”
“Huh?” I pull my eyes off her backside and meet her amused stare in the mirror.
“Are you done staring at my ass?”
I pull myself from the bed and stalk toward her. I love the gasp that leaves her lips as I pull her close to me.
“You weren’t lying about that boner thing.”
“Not even a little bit.”
“You’re right—that is far from little.”
I groan when she wiggles her ass against me. Tease.
I pull her in tighter, stopping her from moving any more because if she doesn’t quit, we won’t be making it to the gala, and I paid a whole hell of a lot for those spots tonight.
“If you think I won’t be staring at you all night long, you’re wrong, Den. I plan to stare…”
She catches my burning gaze in the mirror, catching on to the intensity inside me, the building desire—the threat of stripping that dress from her body right this fucking moment.
Her chest pumps up and down with anticipation.
“To touch…”
Her eyes follow my movements as I trace my fingers along the edge of the cutout, and her flesh breaks out in goose bumps. I fucking love it.
“To taste.”
I pull her face toward mine, capturing her lips in a hard kiss, devouring her mouth in a decidedly not gentle manner.
She’s definitely going to have to redo her lipstick after this.
She whimpers when I pull away, and I trail my lips down her neck, sucking the skin below her ear between my teeth. It’s going to leave a mark, and I don’t give two shits. Let everyone see it.
I called dibs on Denver Andrews a long damn time ago, and nothing about that has changed.
With reluctance, I drag my lips from her perfect skin. She hates it too, pushing against me, wanting me.
Patience, Den.
Her eyes flutter open and our gazes meet in the mirror.
“And to fuck.”
The fire in Denver’s eyes blazes to life
“Understood?” I finish.
She nods, and I walk away before I can’t.
“FUNNY RUNNING INTO YOU HERE.”
“Jesus fuck, Brax. Do I have to see your ugly mug at every one of these events?”
He winces. “Afraid so. I owe the coach the hours for helping me out of something last year. I’m on gala duty for the entire season.”
“Well, thank god it’s almost over. These things are expensive.”
“You’re telling me.” He grins. “It’s all worth it though. You should come to the Christmas one where we give out gifts to the kiddos. Seeing their little faces, man…it’s worth every single penny.”
“How much did we raise tonight?”
“Nearly $150k.”
My brows shoot up. “No shit? Damn. I’m proud of us.”
“Me too.”
&nbs
p; “You bring a date?”
“Nah.” He takes a sip of the soda he’s nursing. “I’m not really looking to get into dating right now. I’m trying to stay focused on my career.”
My attention drifts over to Denny, who’s yet again yakking it up with new friends. I’m a little thankful Penny was willing to bow out; we’re both too antisocial in these settings. Denny, though—she thrives.
“I thought that was best once too. Made a lot of mistakes because of it, missed out on a lot of years with someone who made my whole world move.” I draw my eyes away from my biggest mistake and look to my teammate. “I was wrong, though—real goddamn wrong, Brax.”
He flicks his eyes to Denny. “She know that?”
“I think she’s finally starting to get it.”
“Good. Just—”
“Don’t fuck it up?”
He laughs, holding his hands up. “Hey, man, I’m just saying. Guys are morons sometimes. We’re prone to fucking shit up.”
“Trust me, I know.”
“Good luck, dude. I’m first on the roster and I just got my reminder. I’m out of here.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Oh, and by the way, I’m fairly certain she’s over there telling people your dick is only a few inches long again.”
“Goddammit.”
Tossing back the last of the champagne—which I still fucking hate—I make my way over to the woman in question just in time to hear some of the shit she’s spewing.
“And then he said, ‘It’s not about the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean.’ I knew I couldn’t leave the poor guy after that played-out line. It was obvious he was desperate for someone to stick around.”
She sighs sympathetically, and all the girls around her titter with their own half-hearted comments.
The way these girls are eating this up…it’s comical how easy they are.
A few ladies throw sad smiles my way, those ones that say, Good thing your pockets are deep.
I clear my throat, pushing away the urge to laugh when one’s eyes widen upon spotting me standing behind Denver.
“Bucky.” It takes everything I have to keep my face straight and the humor out of my voice.
“Excuse me, ladies.” She spins on her heel, a smirk playing at her lips. God, I want to kiss her so bad right now because I know exactly what game she’s playing at. “Yes, Cap?”
“May I have a word?”
“Sure thing.”
Text Me Baby One More Time Page 14