by Lynn Wolfe
She went to verify everything was off the table when she noticed Matilda was still clinging to her Grandfather, her cries down to a soft whimper. What a mess. This is not the James Parker I remember, she thought. What happened to him? What happened to the man who still held her heart in the palm of his hand? Would he even care if he knew how deeply she still loved him?
The Ball family went home and the Parkers went to bed. No one bothered to speak with James after he left to talk to Andrew. The day ended as James sat alone in his study drinking his pain away.
Chapter Eighty
Over the next three weeks, Mary, along with Thomas and his family, went daily to the Parker Plantation to help prepare for the auction. James had become less combative and began to speak every once in awhile to Mary about the weather or various mundane subjects. Mary felt it was a start.
With each day that passed, James had found it easier to share his feelings with Mary. Then one day, he told her how he wished he’d known the truth about Henry. He explained if he had, he was certain their lives would have turned out differently. But then he added what a blessing Susannah had been to his life.
Mary would listen and nod but said little about how she felt regarding his life with Susannah and the choices he was now making.
James knew Mary tried to pretend everything was fine in her life. Yet, she always looked away if the subject of their prior lives came up. He knew she’d never allow him to know the depth of the pain he’d had caused her. But he knew anyway. He saw it in her eyes.
*****
One day, late afternoon, Edward arrived at the Parker Plantation. “James, if I’m not disturbing you too much, I’d like a word with you.”
James had been going over the ledgers as he did every afternoon. The figures were the same. If he got top dollar for every item in the auction, he might be able to buy a good mare to breed. Of course, he’d have to find a place to live and a place to work, to keep up with his expenses.
“You’re a much needed break from the truth of my situation. What brings you here this fine afternoon?”
Edward knew James was forcing himself to sound cheerful. “I, too, needed a break from work. I came to tell you I’d volunteer my services the day of the auction, if you thought an extra hand would be of any help. I could handle the money exchange and keep track of what is bought and by whom.”
“I appreciate your offer. And I’ll gladly take you up on it. The day of the auction is going to be long and painful. You’ve been a good friend to me and my family. Thank you, Edward. How about a drink? I think I could use one.”
“Sounds great, James.” Edward said relieved he had accomplished his reason for being there.
“Tell me, have you seen Thomas and Mary, yet? I understand they’ve taken the news rather well that you’re their father. I’d think anyone would be relieved not to be fathered by that bastard, Ball!”
Edward laughed. “Putting it that way, James, I’m not sure if that qualifies as a compliment.”
“You know I’ve nothing but the highest regard for you, Edward,” He replied as he laughed out loud. He realized it felt good to laugh again, even if his mind was only diverted for a few seconds.
“I think Mary has finally forgiven me. We’ve actually had a few conversations about the children and the upcoming auction. She’s the only one who has not criticized me for selling Lightning and Star. Although, I do think she disapproves of my decision. She’s said it was up to me to do what I think is for the best. At least not everyone is totally against me.”
Edward smirked, if only James knew what Mary was thinking. “James, no one is against you. Your family wants to help you get through this with as little pain as possible.”
“So they say. Let’s skip over my family. I’d better get busy. Mary will be glad to see you.”
Edward knew he had been dismissed. He found Mary in the kitchen helping with supper. He waved as he inhaled the wonderful aroma of the meal.
“Edward, how nice to see you!” Mary joyfully called out, as she gave Edward a quick hug. “I hope you can join us for dinner, I know the Parker’s won’t mind.”
“I’d love to. Mary. Now, if you have a moment, I’d like to speak with you, alone.”
Edward was pleased Mary made time to join him on the Veranda. Once they were seated Edward got right to the point, “Mary, we only have a few minutes so I need to know what you’ve found out about the auction.”
“I’m making a list as to what I wish to have bid on. I’ll get you the list before you leave. James won’t listen to anyone’s suggestion on what might be best for the children. He’s adamant about starting over without any obligations. I’ve never met anyone so stubborn.
“But, I’m happy to tell you James and I have finally gotten over what happened in the past. It makes it much easier to speak to him.”
“Do you believe there’s a chance you and James might work things out? It would be nice if you could find love again.”
Mary looked down at her hands. “I know I still love him. James is a hard man to read. If he has feelings that are stronger than friendship, he’s yet to say. But I hope something may come of this. I know I’d make him a good wife and I’d be a good mother for his children.”
“There is no doubt you would make him a wonderful wife and mother to Andrew and Matilda.” Edward responded, as he kissed her cheek.
Mary blushed as she smiled. “Matilda asked James the other day if he and I were going to get married. It was rather awkward, but James smiled and said he didn’t have any plans for marrying anytime soon.”
“Out of the mouths of babes,” Edward replied.
“Yes, and I must tell you, I’m concerned about deceiving James. Once he finds out what we’ve done, do you think he’ll find it in his heart to forgive us? Keeping this secret is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve wanted to share our secret with Annabelle and Clayton, but I don’t dare, in case they would feel obligated to tell James.”
“I’ve given our actions a lot of thought, Mary, even if James should be angry, I think he’s a wise man. I don’t believe he’ll hold a grudge. I feel strongly the reward outweighs the risk. As for the others, once they know the reason behind our actions, I’m positive they won’t harbor any ill feelings.”
“I hope you’re right, Edward, I truly do.”
Chapter Eighty-On
The next morning Mary followed her father to the barn. “Edward, here’s the list of things I need to have done. Before I left Washington, I left instructions with Mr. Hudson, to have on hand enough money to cover any and all purchases we want made at the auction. I pray this plan works.” Mary handed Edward the list as he finished saddling his horse.
“As long as we keep things between us, everything should turn out fine. If it appears there is difficulty getting an item on your list, I shall somehow step in and make the purchase. I’ll figure out a story later.”
“You’ve been very kind to James, Edward, whether he realizes it or not.
“I’m doing this for Clayton and Annabelle, also. They’ve been dear friends for many years and I’m convinced Clayton would have done the same for me. In fact, he’s helped me considerably when he hired Thomas as a clerk. Otherwise, I never would have found him or you, Mary. I’m very happy to have you and Thomas in my life.”
“Thank you, I too, am happy that we’ve a father we can be proud of. You give me a sense of security that makes me feel everything will turn out alright.”
“Time will tell,” Edward said smiling. “I shall return the night before the auction, Mary.”
Mary smiled and nodded.
As Edward headed out, he saw Annabelle, Clayton and James on the veranda. He swung his horse their direction as he nodded to James. “I’ll gladly help in any way I can, James. Please remember that.”
“Thank you, Edward; I gladly accept your help, I’m not a complete fool.”
“Praise God for small miracles,” was all Clayton could mumble in response, wh
ich brought a quiet laughter to all except James. Clayton was relieved that James had enough sense to remain quiet.
Chapter Eighty-Two
Supper ended and the kitchen had been cleaned as Mary headed to the veranda to join the others already there.
“Mary, would you like to take a walk?” James asked.
Mary’s heart raced. The auction was two days away, and for the first time in almost four weeks, James wanted to talk with her alone. Mary felt excited and concerned.
“Yes, James, I’d enjoy a walk.”
They walked in silence for several minutes and headed for a knoll which held a wonderful view of the plantation. Soon, this land would belong to someone else to tend and cherish, as James and Susannah had, Mary thought.
“I’ve been wishing to talk to you, Mary, for the last few days, but I couldn’t summon the courage until tonight to speak to you. It’s been wonderful seeing you again. So much has happened to both of us over the last few years.
“If things were different in my life, and if I had something of substance to offer, I’d be telling you I’d like to have a second chance. But there’s no use in giving you false hope. I’ve nothing to offer at this time or in the near future to suggest I could even think of asking someone to come into my life.
“I’ve sensed that your feelings toward me have not changed. I’ve watched you with Andrew and Matilda and I know you’d be a perfect mother. But I’ve no right to ask you to wait for another two or more years until I see my way out of this mess. It wouldn’t be fair.”
James watched as Mary’s eyes filled with tears. He saw her gently wipe them away. He again was the cause of her pain. This time, he was aware of his guilt. But she had to know he couldn’t ask her to wait–- again.
Mary finally heard the words she’d been praying for, James still cared. But now, she found herself angry and disappointed. “James, I understand your situation! Much better than you give me credit for! If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life in regards to love, you need to be willing to take a risk. Second chances are rare, James. Not everyone gets another chance.
“Don’t you think there’ve already been too many regrets already? When I realized my dreams had been taken from me, I didn’t think I could go on. But I did! I had to face the fact you go on living no matter what life throws your way. Something my mother instilled in me.
“When I came to America, I started a new life. I’m glad I did. I found a friend who gave me far more than I deserved or ever dreamed of having. Her name was Nettie Powell and she taught me so much about life and people. She was kind enough to leave me her home when she passed. I never expected anyone to be so generous. It’s big enough for all of us, James.
“If you wouldn’t mind starting your life over in Washington, we would at least have a roof over our heads. Please, James, don’t throw our love away for the second time.
I beg you; don’t let your pride stop you from taking another chance,” Mary took a deep breath and watched as James said nothing. “I shall say no more. I’ve already said far too much. I know I was out of place for speaking so bluntly.”
James watched as Mary bit her lip and smiled as he realized she’d grown into a very independent woman. She was not longer the naïve girl he’d met in London.
“Mary, I don’t deserve a second chance. Don’t you think everyone will say I only married you because you offered the children and me a place to live?”
“James Parker! Is that what’s stopping you from making a commitment? What other people say? Years ago, I remember saying something similar to you, except it was me that would have looked like the woman who was marrying for money. At that time, I had nothing to offer you in a monetary way. Nothing! You told me I was being silly. Remember?
“I understand your pride has taken a huge blow. But I have pride, too. I love you, James. I always have. I always will. We could marry the day after the auction and leave immediately for Washington. That way, the children could focus on their future and not dwell on what they’ve lost. I know how forward I sound, but I don’t want to lose you again, especially not because of your foolish pride!”
James was not only stunned; he was surprised with Mary’s speech. He hadn’t expected her to counter him with a marriage proposal. He smiled and pulled her into his arms. When she embraced him with so much love he was humbled. He sensed her trying to stop her sobs realizing she was about to get her wish.
“It’s alright, Mary. Cry all you want. I don’t think I could possibly love you more than I do right now. You make everything sound so simple. I thought I was the one who was supposed to propose.”
“James,” Mary said between sobs, “if I waited for you to propose, I might as well purchase a cane and practice walking like an old woman. I don’t want to go on living without you in my life; I want you–— and the children.”
“Mary, are you sure? We’re talking about marrying in a couple of days. There’d be no time for a grand wedding, one like you deserve. What will everyone think?”
Mary wiped her nose with the hanky James handed her. “I think they’ll wonder what took us so long to come to this conclusion. There’s only one way to find out, we could ask them.”
“Mary, I know I don’t have anything to offer, but I’ll have more than any man deserves when I take you for my wife.” James kissed Mary and held her tight as he rubbed her back and arms. He remembered how good she felt and she now responded in a way he knew she’d meant every word she’d spoken.
“Mary, let’s go back and tell everyone our decision, before it gets any later. I wouldn’t doubt if they are discussing us at this very moment. They must be wondering what we’re talking about.”
Chapter Eighty-Three
When James and Mary had left for their walk, everyone else went to the veranda to visit as they had every night after supper for the past few weeks, when they visited until it was time for Thomas and his family, along with Mary, to head for home. Tonight, the children were involved in a game of tag. It was Edward who noticed James and Mary returning from their walk.
“I don’t believe it, James and Mary are holding hands!” Edward said softly, so only the adults could hear.
All eyes turned to James and Mary as they seemed lost in their conversation. It was as if no others were present in their universe. No one spoke as they waited for the couple to reach the veranda.
When James and Mary stopped at the bottom of the veranda steps, they realized everything had become quiet. All eyes were upon them.
“Nice evening, don’t you think?” James offered, which finally broke the silence. .
“Yes, son, I believe it is. Did you and Mary enjoy your walk?” Clayton asked mischievously.
Mary blushed. She couldn’t help it. Why wasn’t James telling everyone what had happened? She was anxious to see if there’d be any objections to their announcement. Mary felt certain everyone would be happy with the news. She prayed they would.
She knew James could feel her tension and was not happy when he looked at her and winked. She glared back with eyes that were not laughing at his wry sense of humor, but telling him to get on with it as she bit her lip. She knew he was fully aware she wanted him to make the announcement and quickly.
“I think Mary may be a bit perturbed. Notice she’s biting her lip. She does that whenever she gets nervous. Don’t you Mary?”
Mary said nothing but the look on her face said everything. She wanted to throttle him.
James grabbed her hand as he spoke, “Well, as you all know, much has happened in the last four weeks. Up until tonight, nothing in my life seemed to go as planned, especially after the fire. But Mary coming back into my life has turned out to be a wonderful thing.
“As much as I tried to fight it, I’ve found my feelings for Mary have returned. We’ve had a lengthy discussion about our future and I know this will come as a shock, but Mary has asked me to marry her, and I accepted.”
Mary was furious. She tried to step away from James,
but he grabbed her as he continued to laugh so hard he almost pulled them both to the ground. Mary’s face was red with embarrassment.
“Now Mary, I’ll explain. I promise.”
Mary couldn’t help herself; she started laughing, too, when she realized he really hadn’t lied. She had asked him to marry her. But did he have to tell everyone? When she looked to those on the veranda, she realized they were joining in the laughter, too.
“Sister, did you really ask this thick-headed, over bearing man to marry you?”
“Well, I guess I did, Thomas. But it really sounds much worse than it was. I mean, well, I was afraid he might never ask, so I, I mean–—
By that time everyone was up and hugging Mary and James and no one cared how it happened. Andrew, Matilda and Jane came running over to see what the fuss was about. When James explained he and Mary were going to be married, the children hugged her and both went on and on about how excited they were.
The children’s reaction was what Mary had been most concerned about. One never knew how a child would feel about someone replacing their mother. But it was obvious to Mary, Andrew and Matilda loved her as much as she loved them.
They’d seemed comfortable around her from the minute she’d met them. Mary knew she would never try to take away their memories of their mother. She would make sure Susannah would always be a part of their lives. Mary didn’t want to forget Susannah, either. If not for Susannah, James may not have felt he could take another wife. Susannah had given James her blessing to go on living with the hope he’d choose Mary.
“Andrew and Matilda, Mary has a home in Washington for us to live.”
“Can we keep Lightning and Star, then?” Andrew asked.
James noticed Matilda standing next to her brother clinging to the hope that since there was a new home, there’d be a place for their animals. The silence told the answer before he could get the words out.