Moggies, Magic and Murder

by Pearl Goodfellow

  Reverend Peacefield continued the eulogy. The vicar was out of his parish on Glessie, but it had been Infirma who had requested his ministrations, probably out of loyalty to the gentle pastor. The grieving sister stood next to Thaddeus, sobbing uncontrollably, Verdantia Eyebright stood next to the grieving woman, holding Infirma’s elbow to steady her. Under the cover of a plateau of black umbrellas on the opposite side of the grave stood Cathedral’s legal flunkies. In the center stood Gideon Shields, Barnabus Kramp, looking grim on the governor’s right-hand side. Beside Kramp stood his wife, Zinnie. Her face was morose and a little gray looking. Peacefield continued his peaceful murmuring, and I leaned in to whisper to David,

  “How was Infirma able to get permission to bury the body? What if Maude needs to check over the corpse again?”

  “The coffin’s got a portal enchantment on it,” David explained. He looked pale, and I noticed the dark rings under his eyes. “If Maude needs to take another look, it’ll pull the body straight back to the morgue in no time.”

  “Never heard of that kind of thing…but it doesn’t sound like a standard practice.”

  “It’s not,” David quietly confirmed. “As a matter of fact, the coffin itself was paid for by parties unknown. According to Maude, Infirma was pretty upset about someone stepping in. It took Verdantia forever to calm her down.”

  “Do we have any idea on who the anonymous benefactor was?” I asked, glancing over at the grieving Infirma.

  “Well, they’re kinda ‘anonymous’ so, no, we don’t,”

  Duh, Hattie.

  I elbowed David in the ribs.

  “The Custodians, maybe?”

  “Yeah, that’s how I see it too,” my weary friend said. “What did Midnight and Shade find out about our good Mayor, Sincerity Jones?” he asked, looking down at my rain-soaked guardians.

  Midnight cleared his throat and shook water from his whiskers as he looked up at the chief.

  “Afraid we struck out,” Midnight conceded. “Ms. Jones just went to places any hot-looking lady mayor would go.”

  “Yeah, nothing noteworthy,” Shade said, shaking at least a pint of rain from his furry features. “Seemed to be business as usual,” he finished.

  Midnight gave Shade a tap of the paw in agreement. “All business, yeah. Apparently, whatever Sincerity was doing in Kramp’s office, it stopped at the office door.”

  My eyes found Barnabus and his wife, Zinnie. If anything, their body language here, was even more heightened than it was at the Mabon fair. Barnabus made a play for his wife’s hand, but the latter slapped it away in a fierce and quick motion. Kramp dropped his hand and gave up trying to make a show of good husbandry.

  “What about that mystery item that Morag hid before she died? Any ideas?” I asked David, reaching out to touch his arm.

  His skin was hot. I looked at his face and watched as a sea of red blood vessels flooded his cheeks and forehead. Just as soon as the fierce redness engulfed him, it receded almost instantly. I stared at him, blinking, feeling the skin on his arm cool under my fingers.

  “David, are you o--”

  “I can think of two other places to look for this hidden ‘thing,’” he interrupted, changing the subject immediately. I played along.

  “Where?”

  “The time capsule at Cagliostro School where Morag was present for the burying of said capsule.”

  “And?”

  “And the bell, or bell tower, at Saint Pendragons. I mean, Morag was due for the ribbon cutting ceremony the day after her death. She also spent a lot of time there at St. Pen’s.”

  “Plus Saint Pendragon’s is notorious for its safety charms on its Avalon Vaults. Maybe it would make for a great hiding place, given that its vaults are known to be impenetrable. Maybe nobody would think to look even in the vicinity of the church?”

  “My thoughts too,” David said, rubbing his hands over his face.

  “I am a little less than convinced that this ‘thing’ is, in fact, the motive for Morag’s death,” Onyx opined.

  “Yeah, I figured you’d think that made too much sense,” Gloom sniped.

  “Whatever it is,” I said, bowing my head to look at my kitties. “Morag apparently didn’t want anyone to find out about it. So, even if has nothing to do with her demise, we have to assume that it’s at least very important.”

  Reverend Peacefield’s funeral oration came to an end, trailing off in soft murmurings from the small gathering. Infirma’s side of the grave formed a line so they could toss their white roses onto the casket. But Shields headed them off, and he stepped squarely in front of Infirma. Gideon arrogantly took the show in his hands, and flicked his wrist with a dramatic sweep of his arm and dropped his flower into the watery grave. Shields’ goons followed the governor’s lead and dropped their own offerings into the earth, leaving a rather shocked Infirma to finally deliver her own rose to her dear departed sister. Infirma wept, her tears instantly washing away in the lashing rain. Shields clocked David and I staring at him, and halted his departing course to wait for Infirma instead. Now the creep has an audience he has a show to put on.

  David, the Infiniti and I crossed the sodden earth toward Infirma, but Shields and his legal mutts gathered around the grieving sister. Verdantia, at Infirma’s elbow, swept a willowy arm in front of her, warding off the goons somewhat to give Infirma and her faery guardian some space. We couldn’t see from where we were what kind of smarmy, false condolences Cathedral’s governor was proffering to the sickly woman, but they kept it short. We crossed Gideon and his cronies path as they departed the cemetery. Shields nodded briefly to David and me, Gloom hissed, and the Cathedral administrators squelched through the grass back to their waiting limo.

  We walked to Verdantia and Morag’s grieving twin.

  “Hattie, David I’m so very grateful for your attendance.” Infirma stuck out a frail and shaky hand. Verdantia smiled and nodded at us. Even as drenched as she was, the fairy greengrocer still embodied a living goddess.

  “And, little kitties,” Infirma half stooped to Infiniti level as she surveyed my drowned rat-cats. “Why, you are true little troopers. Don’t think I don’t know how much your kind don’t like water.”

  Gloom arched a rain-heavy eyebrow. “Understatement, perhaps?”

  I nudged my grumpy kitty’s wet rump with my foot.

  “Infirma,” I said. “Let’s get you out of this rain. Shall we meet you back at your estate?” I suggested.

  “Please, yes. I’m chilled to the bone, I’ll admit.” She turned to the Elven greengrocer. “Verdantia said you’d be coming for tea, so she has already kindly prepared a high-tea service for us all.”

  “We’ll be there,” David said, and we each left a rain-sodden Cernuous Cemetery for the dry comfort of Morag and Infirma Devlin’s rambling estate.

  By the time we touched down at Infirma’s, the sun had broken through the thick gray clouds, extending its radiant arms to the earth in a warm embrace.

  “Hopefully our tricky little buddy, Seamus, is around, so we can see if he found any of those ‘spore’ artifacts.” Midnight said as we landed close to the front porch.

  “Bast! I hope that sneaky brownie found something. We need a break in this case.” Carbon said, clicking his useless fire-starting paws under the cover of the entrance. His toes did a wriggling tapdance on the dry flagstone floor, but it was a vain attempt at producing a flame. From what I could see only water seeped between Carbon’s furry toes.

  The door to the late Morag’s estate opened inward, and we were greeted by a host of miniature brownies. The little pixies seemed a lot more orderly than the last time we were here. Perhaps they’d fallen into the routine of service finally. Or, as Shade would say: ‘found their groove.’ A flash of movement from the staircase brought Seamus in front of us. Midnight wasted no time. “Find anything, buddy?” My night prowling cat asked.

  “Nah, Nah and I’d tell you if’n there was any developments,” Seamus blurted, his eyes s
hifting from side to side in rapid succession. The brownie’s wee head darted toward Jet. My zippy cat was charging down the highly polished wood of the hallway and then skidding at full speed back the other way. Jet loved long hallways. “ But, I think I speak for me boyos when I ask that you get your business done here double quick so’s we can take care a’ the new mess that menace is leaving.” Seamus nodded his head toward my galloping cat, no doubt appraising the vividly muddy skid-marks covering the expanse of the corridor.

  The brownie gave us an impatient wave of his arm as he saw us to the parlor where Infirma and Verdantia were waiting. Seamus and his tiny cronies didn’t notice that it was just seven cats that stepped into Infirma’s receiving room. I spotted Jet as he darted up the sweeping staircase to the upstairs of the Devlin estate, no doubt looking for wooden runways he could slide along.

  Infirma and Verdantia stood to greet us as we entered the parlor, the smell of freshly baked herby scones wafted deliciously throughout the room.

  “Hattie, David and beautiful kitties,” Infirma said as she rose to welcome us. “I want to express once more how honored I was that you made it out today for the service.” Infirma took her seat next to the silver tray of baked goodies. Verdantia poured tea.

  “It was the very least we could do,” David said. My friend plopped himself into a comfortable chair next to the window and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “I’m quite sure you two are terribly busy with the case, and you won’t want to waste too much time here, but I do hope you’ll sample some of Verdantia’s incredible scones before you leave?” My hand was already halfway to the delectable looking baked goods before she could even finish.

  “And, for you guys,” Infirma pointed to a row of saucers lined up under the window. Each small plate held a hunk of richly red salmon, and Eclipse was already finishing up his plate before being invited. “Salmon, of course.” She finished. The cats darted over to join their early-bird brother at the feeding trough, Gloom heading off Eclipse before he could finish off another plate. Nobody commented on Jet’s absence. Maybe they didn’t notice that my eight cats were now seven.

  We drank tea, ate scones and talked of superficial business; like how well Thaddeus Peacefield conducted the burial service considering the inclement weather and all.

  “I couldn’t believe Shields getting in my way like that, just so he could throw the first rose,” a bemused Infirma said shaking her head.

  “Yeah, that was quite something, eh?” I agreed, reaching for my second scone.

  “His arrogance knows no …..URGHH, SCHPLECK, AGGHH.”

  I looked at Morag’s grieving sister and was alarmed by her sudden crimson color. The woman’s body began first jerking, and then wildly convulsing before our eyes, as she clawed at her throat, seemingly trying to gasp for air. Infirma’s flailing hands caught her oxygen tank and flipped it to the floor where its clanging descent startled the cats away from their seafood dinner.

  I saw Seamus’ head pop around the parlor door, no doubt investigating the din.

  “Midnight! Seamus!” I yelled as Infirma’s body spasmed in twisted movements. The utter terror in her eyes was unmistakable. Infirma Devlin believed she was about to die. And, at this point, I’d have to say I agreed with her. David and Verdantia found the stricken woman’s legs and pinned them down, while Midnight, heading up a platoon of brownies (including Seamus) marched to the fallen woman’s head.

  “One side, milady!” Seamus yelled as he jumped on Infirma’s bucking chest. “We’ll handle this part!”

  More of Seamus’ fellows jumped aboard Infirma and promptly rushed to the woman’s mouth. The brownies, in a group effort, grabbed hold of the lady Devlin’s jaw and yanked back with all their might. It took a second for me to realize what they were doing: keeping Infirma from biting her tongue off.

  The rest of the tiny pixie crew swarmed Infirma’s limbs and head. Like Lilliputians restraining a giant Gulliver, they threw fine threads around her thrashing arms and legs to hold her into position. I had to admire their exertion. I could see the sweat pouring from their tiny mops of invariably red hair.

  I stood up, and with fumbling hands, I tried to fish my phone out of my pocket. We were going to need Broomedics and soon. But before I could punch in the numbers to emergency services, Eclipse put a paw on my foot and looked up at me, his face as serious as I’d ever seen it.

  “You got to do it again, Hattie.”

  “Do what?” I asked, trying to fight my urge to bolt, so I didn’t have to listen to my cat.

  “You know what,” Eclipse answered, his stare boring into me. “They’ll never get here in time. It’s up to you, Hattie.”

  I shook my head, retrying the numbers on my mobile. This time I felt the weight of another kitty paw on my other foot. Onyx.

  “Seraphim, Eclipse is, in this case, correct. You need to bring about the magic you crafted at the Mabon Fair. And, it would be highly advisable if you did it now. Chimera is here with us now; I think you’ll agree?” Onyx’s fuzzy head turned in the air, staring at places where, to my eyes, there was nothing to be seen.

  But then I felt it. The unmistakeable presence of Granny Chimera. I was pretty sure it wasn’t Verdantia’s scones giving off that high, sweet, basil aroma either. My surge of panic receded, and my body was washed over with a comforting blanket of calm. I could think clearly. I knew what needed to be done suddenly. Eclipse and Onyx stood back as I turned toward the stricken Infirma, my hands outstretched and my mouth working in a flurry of foreign chants.

  I directed my chanting at Morag’s sister, just as I had done for Morag, but this time I knew it was Grandma Chimera working through me. I could feel her mouth the words at the precise time they tumbled from my own mouth. A shimmering sparkle burst out of the air, just above Infirma’s body. A golden thread of light surfaced from just below her breastbone and met the dazzling display of stardust above her. And then Infirma began to levitate. David and Verdantia let go of her legs and sat back watching the spiritual spectacle before them. The brownies weren’t so quick to let go, however, and we watched as their little legs left the ground, kicking at nothing but air as Infirma rose a few more inches. The sharp sound of Gaelic cursing filled the air as Infirma’s tiny passengers dangled their legs in midair.

  Amid the sparkling display of lights and Infirma’s floating body, her convulsions slowed and then finally subsided completely. Her face looked young and peaceful. My incantation ended, and I felt a warmth leave my body as we witnessed the Devlin woman’s body float back toward the floor. Her eyes flew open, and with her lips stretched into a beatific smile, Infirma laughed. Not demonically, but a wholehearted, free belly laugh. I sat back against the chaise and exhaled a long deep breath, the other impromptu emergency team following my lead. Everyone slumped for a moment or two, catching their breath. I finally heard Verdantia murmuring to Infirma. “Are you okay, dear?” The elven greengrocer was stroking Morag’s sister’s head.

  “I feel as light as a feather. I feel free!” Infirma’s face was a mask of radiant bliss.

  “I’ll have what she’s having,” quipped a voice from beside me. Jet sat next to me watching the last of the unfolding event.

  “What’d I miss?” He asked.

  Gloom, who was kneading Infirma’s hair snapped her head around to her brother. “I swear, Jet, sometimes you have all the class of a yak fart.”

  Infirma laughed again, this time much harder. I guess a near death experience might possibly make one appreciate my snarky cat’s humor.

  “I’m okay; I’m okay,” Infirma stated, lifting her head now. She was still smiling and still looking nearly ten years younger than she did before she fell into this troubling mess.

  “Let a doctor tell you that,” I said, helping her back into her chair. “I’m calling the Broomedics. ”

  “We’ll keep an eye on Milady in the meantime,” Seamus said, jumping into the seat next to Infirma. “Any change, we’ll give the yell, yeah?�
��

  I nodded my gratitude to the stalwart little brownie and called Howling Mercy Hospital to get them to send their crew out.

  “They’ll be here within fifteen minutes,” I said hanging up. “Verdantia, you’ll be okay with Infirma?”

  “She’s already okay,” Verdantia said, smiling at me. “I think, with magic that powerful, I’d say she’s more than okay, actually.”

  I was about to answer with something dismissive when I saw David staring at me from his spot on the floor.

  “What?” I said.

  “I- I, just, well. That was some mighty witchcraft, Hat. I’m … well, I’m impressed.” The chief managed.

  “I’d like to take the credit for what just happened, but truthfully, it wasn’t me. It was Granny Chimera.” I licked my lips, and I could taste basil and magic on them.

  “Well, I think that you just pulled out an ace is what I’m saying,” David replied.