Moggies, Magic and Murder

by Pearl Goodfellow

  “I will have you know, Cucui,” Hinrika went onto say. “These people are under my unconditional protection. Violating that by scaring them just because you are hungry is therefore unacceptable.”

  The large shapeless form muttered something apologetically, belying his boogeyman persona.

  “Spare me your belated apologies,” the Mad Fae Queen said, pointing at us. “Apologize to them…NOW.”

  The Cucui started to say something in his own language.

  “Louder,” Hinrika prompted him.

  The Cucui started over and said it again in a tone that nearly blew us away. David and Carbon shook their heads to clear the loud noise from their ears.

  I said slowly, “Umm…apology accepted?”

  The Cucui made some more noises. Hard to tell what he was saying but they didn’t sound as threatening as his lurking around on foot had been.

  “Now,” Hinrika added. “With that out of the way, back through the gate with you.”

  No mistaking the tone of protest in the Cucui’s response as he groaned.

  “You know the rules, boy,” Hinrika said, drawing up to her full height. “Now that you have broken them, you have lost the privilege of being here. So GO.” Hinrika barred her licorice stained teeth at the strange Fae creature, and that seemed to scare him enough to retreat. He disappeared in front of our eyes, almost as mysteriously as he had appeared.

  David looked at Hinrika and asked a sensible question. “What the hells just happened?”

  The fairy queen didn't seem to hear the question. “Really...I realize that he is Unseelie. But I KNOW for a fact that Ankou taught him better manners than that.”

  She gave an exasperated sigh and then looked down at my cat. “Carbon, could you be a dear and burn this place to the ground?”

  “Yeees!” Carbon cried out in almost orgasmic relief. He struck the ground with his claws, and two fire balls erupted between his fuzzy toes. He looked at me for final confirmation before casting his mini-infernos to the walls.

  I nodded silently to my fire-starter moggie, and he struck his paws out in a stage-show magician flourish. The fireballs met with the tinder of the walls.

  “Come along, darlings,” Hinrika said, waving us towards the front door. “It is time for us to depart.” But a wall of flame blocked our exit.

  Hinrika began murmuring gently to every lick of flame in our path.

  “Excuse us, pardon us.” The fires parted and granted us a clear departure, without rewarding us so much as a minor burn. Soon enough, we were out in the fresh night air while the apothecary building blazed in the background.

  David winced at the scale of the blaze. “That’s going to attract the fire department.”

  Hinrika shook her head. “By the time they arrive, this place will be nothing but ashes. No one will be the wiser.”

  “What about the gate that this place sat on?” I asked. “Is it going up in flames too?”

  “You have seen what I see, Hattie dearest,” Hinrika said as she stroked my cheek. “Therefore you know that it is. Good riddance, really…these mortal masquerades are popular with the Unseelie Court, but I just find them tiresome.”

  Carbon trotted up and began rubbing his cheeks against Hinrika’s leg. “How’d you even know to come out here tonight?” He inquired as he surveyed her lemon-yellow, satin ball dress.

  “Oh, I am assisting Portia this evening,” she said casually as she bent down to pet my flame-crazy moggie. “In light of the portal in the Glimmer Mountains, she and I are doing a little survey of any other potentially active ones.”

  “So you’re a Custodian?” I asked.

  Hinrika gave me a puzzled look. “Of course…I thought that was understood already.”

  David’s features tightened. “Portia omits a few details sometimes.”

  “Come to think of it,” Hinrika added, tapping her chin. “I did think it rather odd that Portia would be unearthing that time capsule without telling you, David.”

  David got it. “The Cagliostro school.”

  “Better get there ASAP,” I agreed. “Care to join us, Hinrika?”

  “Only if I get to ride with this handsome beast,” she said with a smile.

  I whirled to look at David. Was she making moves on my man? But, then I noticed that Hinrika was referring to the other handsome beast in my company: Carbon. The latter of which strutted proudly, his furry chest inflated as he gazed fondly at his inferno.

  CHAPTER 13

  From the air, Cagliostro school looked like a Mainland boarding school facing economic ruin. It was evident, even at the height we were, that the bloom had been off the rose for a while. The shool's facade was so weathered that its previous cheery blue facade had washed away in years worth of Cathedral storms. This building didn’t need Futura cauldron’s, I thought, it needed a new … well, everything. The Victorian architecture should have inspired awe, but it only served feelings of crushed hopes and faded dreams.

  Portia stood in the open field just in front of the school. She was stooped over a particular spot in the grounds, looking intently at a freshly dug patch of earth. She glanced up at us as we circled above looking for a place to land, and I could feel her disapproval from the air. That impression was confirmed as we landed; Portia’s face screwed into a bitter frown.

  “Given the information you already had in your possession, Chief Para Inspector,” she said by way of greeting. “Even I expected you out here much sooner.”

  To head off another sniping session, I interjected, “We had a situation at the Devlin estate.”

  Portia raised an eyebrow. “Explain.”

  I gave her the full rundown of what had happened, including Maude’s toxicology report and the fake apothecary Carbon had just burnt down to the ground. Portia gave a thoughtful nod. “Well…I can hardly fault either of you from looking deeper into those matters.”

  She looked at Hinrika. “The portal is shut fast?”

  “Gone, Portia, never to return,” Hinrika said. “And I might add that the same goes double for that rude Cucui I sent packing.” The fairy queen swiveled her head toward Carbon. “This mighty feline here did us the honors, in fact.” She smiled sweetly at a strutting Carbon, who paraded before us with tiny flames between his toes. Portia gave my pyro-cat a curt nod, and Carbon beamed at the recognition.

  “I’m guessing this…from the maps you showed us before,” David said. “That you’re taking a proactive approach to tracking Fae movements, correct?” David was speaking of the set of maps in Portia’s cellar/lab — a host of charts that detailed all mischievous ‘happenings’ across the isles.

  “In light of recent events, anything less would be careless,” Portia admitted.

  “Why couldn’t the Unseelie Court have just listened to us?” Hinrika lamented. “Lots of unpleasantness might have been avoided.” The queen smoothed down her fabulously expensive ball dress and grimaced at us through black-stained lips.

  Portia shot her Icelandic ally an exasperated look. Apparently, Hinrika had uttered something that Portia would have preferred stay under wraps. I wasn’t about to let that one go, though. Why weren’t we told about this development? I saw David narrow his eyes at the old witch, no doubt believing that Portia was up to no good. Old habits die hard.

  “Wait, when did you talk to the Unseelie Court?” I asked, pointing my finger at Hinrika.

  Portia took a deep breath and sighed before answering. “It was argued by Verdantia—who, as there is no sense of secrecy at this stage, is also a Custodian -- that we attempt a diplomatic approach with both the Seelie and Unseelie Courts in light of the increasing Fae incursions. The two of them visited Mag Mell—“

  “And, had a charming time, I might add,” Hinrika added with a fond smile. “It’s always such a buzz to see so many of my kin in one place.”

  Portia cleared her throat before continuing. “Despite the ‘very lovely time,' neither court was in any mood to cooperate. And so we fell back upon the spy-craft ap
proach that we should have maintained in the first place.”

  Hinrika chortled. “Oh, are you still sore that you went along with the idea, Portia?” The queen of the fae all but cooed. “I keep telling you that it never hurts to ask for help first, before resorting to dirty tricks.”

  “And I keep telling you that sometimes it really does hurt to ask,” Portia spat. “You don’t think the Unseelies know what we’re up to now? You don’t believe that any previous advantage we had by keeping our movements unknown to them is now lost?” Old lady Fearwyn’s eyes were stormy.

  “There’s another portal to Mag Mell I found four days ago,” I said, looking to head off another pointless argument. “It’s a cottage on the Glessie coast, leads straight to Ankou’s Dying Throne.”

  “Oh, you went to see Ankou?” Hinrika squealed. “That must mean you finally unlocked the rune, right?!”

  “Umm, yeah,” I said, showing her the wand.

  The black-toothed fairy twirled her way toward me, the hem of her satin dress flaring, and grasped me in her long willowy arms for a hug. “I knew you could do it!” She squealed in my ear with her licorice breath. “You have so much power, Hattie. Way more than you can conceive of.”

  “More to the point,” Portia said through gritted teeth. “We’ve known about that particular portal for months now. I appreciate, however, the fact that you were willing to tell me about it.”

  “So…how were you planning on digging up this time capsule?” David asked, changing the subject. “I have yet to see any picks or shovels. So I’m guessing you’ll be using your own brand of voodoo?” The contempt in the chief’s words was clear.

  Hinrika released me, but not before kissing me with her black lips, leaving a muddy smear on my cheek. “How else, David? Nothing elaborate or complicated…just a little earthquake magic,” she tinkled.

  “‘Earthquake’?” I asked in alarm.

  “Nothing too drastic,” Portia said. “This area sits on a fault line. It’s relatively stable, but we can still trigger some localized tremors for our purpose.”

  “What purpose?” David scoffed. “Razing this already crumbling school to the ground?”

  “Oh, Portia would never let things go that far,” Hinrika said.

  I was less sure about that but held my tongue.

  “With a strong enough tremor, the soil should liquefy,” Portia explained. “It should make the ground loose enough for us to extract the capsule with very little soil erosion.”

  “A little levitation magic, a divining enchantment to determine its contents,” Hinrika added. “And then we can either take out Morag’s hidden treasure — if it’s here, of course — or put it back with no one the wiser.”

  “Um, did you forget the ‘tremor’ part of this brilliant plan?” David pointed out. “However mild you make it, SOMEONE is definitely going to notice the ground shaking. And, I don’t know how stable you think this school is, but it already looks like it could fall with just a stiff breeze.”

  “If we time this correctly,” Portia insisted. “No one will ever notice more than the tremor, and Cagliostro will remain intact.”

  “Well, I’d like to go on the record and say that this is borderline insane.”

  “Objection noted,” Portia said, kneeling down to place her hands on the ground.

  The earth beneath our feet began to shake, prompting Carbon to jump into my arms. I got us both aloft on my broom to avoid the worst of the quake. We hovered just a couple of feet off the unsteady ground. David, who would rather die than show weakness in front of Portia, stayed on terra not-so-firma. Hinrika, on the other hand, twirled and giggled with delight as the ground started moving. Even with her mad fairy dance, we could see the giddy woman chanting and raising her arms in peculiar gestures. More strange than usual, I mean.

  “Goddess, I love that kook,” Carbon sighed from behind me on the broom. “She’s completely out there, huh?”

  “I’d have to agree, fire-face,” I replied.

  Amid the chants and Hinrika’s pagan dance routine, the soil at Portia’s feet began to break open, and from the rent in the earth, a solid iron capsule floated into the air just above the newly formed crevasse.

  “Don’t just stand there, CPI Trew,” Portia barked. “Scan the contents!”

  David’s eyes widened in unmasked surprised. Portia was testing the chief. She knew he rarely practiced magic, but she was testing his skills right here, and right now. I held my breath. Carbon turned his gaze toward the chief, and he looked as if he was almost willing David to pull it off.

  The love of my life blinked a few times, but then put his hands to his eyes in a mock gesture of holding a pair of binoculars. Ah, the Transpara charm; popular with voyeurs and Peeping Toms as well as archeologists and CSI techs.

  David scanned the capsule’s contents and then shook his head. Portia’s voice was tight, “Put it back, Hinrika.”

  Hinrika’s disappointment was as obvious as David’s and Portia’s as she lowered the capsule back into the shifting ground. Portia kept her hands in position for a few seconds longer before finally standing up. The tremors stopped the minute her fingers lost contact with the dirt.

  “Wow,” Carbon said. “Old Trew Love actually pulled it off.” I nodded in silent agreement, my heart expanding outward toward my best friend.

  “Another failure,” Portia pounded the earth with both hands in disgust.

  “We did NOT fail, dear friend. We just found another place where Morag’s missing trinket is NOT,” Hinrika said as I lowered my broom back to the ground.

  Portia rolled her eyes.

  “So…what now?” David asked, his eyes alive with … with what? Magic? Had my friend just felt the thrill and tingle of his own power?

  The lights came on in the school then.

  Portia, summoning her broom, and nodding toward the newly illuminated windows of the building, replied, “Now, we leave the premises before we are found out. Tomorrow night, all of you will come to Gaunt Manor for an occasion that is long overdue.”

  “What kind of occasion?” I asked as I once again mounted my broom.

  “No time to explain,” Portia said as Hinrika climbed onto the back of her broom. “Just be sure to bring all of your cats with you.” She took off for the skies without another word. Hinrika, riding backward, to face us, blew kisses as her flowing form receded into the night air.

  CHAPTER 14

  The next morning I busied myself with the day’s orders and deliveries. Dillwyn Werelamb had placed a request for more Phoenix Tears Balm, so I prepared a heaping dose of the fragrant unguent. The Angel was busy as soon as Millie opened the doors. Word had been getting around the Isles of my involvement in local murder investigations, and the nosy and inquisitive wanted to see what an apothecarian-sleuth was all about. I couldn’t complain, my shop needed some publicity, and the proximity of the location of Morag’s death brought in more buyers.

  Come the afternoon, Millie, the cats and I had only one another for company. We ate some lunch together in the back kitchen, the Infiniti munching on some fresh chicken breast Millie had brought in with her.

  The conversation turned to Portia Fearwyn’s strange invitation from last night.

  “You really have no idea w-why Portia Fearwyn—THE Portia Fearwyn—would w-want to invite all of us?” Fraidy asked, shivering. Last night’s tremors had shaken the ground less.

  “Just making a wild guess here,” Gloom sniped. “But based on the previous five times you asked that question, Captain Coward, I would say the boss-lady still has no idea.”

  “Gloom,” I cautioned.

  She turned her back on me and swiped her tail from side to side in curt flicking movements.

  “Sheesh, she can be such a bi—“

  “Shade!” I yelled. “Don’t call your sister names like that.”

  Gloom turned, her ears flat, and her eyes squinty. Millie backed away from the shelf my grumpy cat was adorning.

  Gloom did a ha
lf growl-purr. “Yeah, well I maybe a biatch, but at least I have the brainpower to contribute to this case. What have you guys done?”

  Carbon yawned from his place by the hearth. “I made a good fire, so don’t say I haven’t done anything.” He laid his head back on the floor and stretched his body until he was impossibly elongated.

  Onyx opened his mouth to say something, but Gloom pointed her paw at him. “Whatever deathly long Shakespearean oration you’re about to spill, brother of mine … DON’T”

  Onyx looked at his sister with ever-peaceful eyes, but I could tell he was offended just by the way he squared his shoulders and held his head higher.

  “Are you suggesting we should refrain from discussing all of the concrete, factual elements we DO know about Morag’s death?”

  Gloom clapped a paw to her forehead. “Bran the blessed, why do you have to talk like that? Do you think you’re Mister Darcy or something?”

  “Okay, so we know Morag was killed by a lethal combo of a Puppeteer Charm and this…catnap curse,” Millie said, expertly ignoring the petty cat squabble.

  “Vencap curse but yeah,” I said, coming to my assistant’s aid. “The whole thing would have looked like a suicide if I hadn’t cast the Chimera Charm, which stopped the Puppeteer Charm from wiping out all traces of the Vencap.” I let out a deep breath. “That’s a lot of magic to keep in order.”

  “True dat, boss,” Shade said, shaking his head, “But, Bast! You handled it! You disrupted two streams of dark magic just by opening your channels to our dear old Chimera.” Shade put a paw to his stomach and offered me a bow.

  “Thanks, Shade, that’s sweet,” I said. “But, I didn’t disrupt the magic well enough to stop it from working, now, did I?”

  “Yeah, and you won’t stop world hunger, or drought either,” Millie replied with a matter-of-fact look stamped on her features. My assistant tossed her peacock locks having made her logical point.