Rhapsody (The Bellator Saga Book 5)

by Cecilia London

  Be strong. Be strong for her.

  He trailed his hand along her arm until he was behind her, and closed his eyes. Maybe he could get through it by touching her first. Pretending she wasn’t his wife. That it was someone else who’d been tortured and maimed and treated in unspeakably evil ways. When he felt the first red welt he choked back a gasp and opened his eyes. The scars all ran together, forming a wicked pattern up and down her back. Cosmetic flaws, but the damage ran so much deeper than that.

  Jack was soaked in guilt, his clothes coated in it like kerosene. The slightest prompt could set him alight and reduce him to charred remains. He withdrew his hand. He didn’t have the right to touch her. All his words, all his false encouragement seemed meaningless now. Dear God, what had he done to her?

  “Oh, Caroline. I should have stayed with you.” He fell to his knees. “Please forgive me.”

  What a weak, pitiful man he was. Unable to protect his wife, unable to heal her wounds. She should have let him walk out the door the night before, because being with him had never done her any good. He buried his face in his hands.

  He felt her fingers running through his hair. She was saying something. Was she trying to comfort him? He sank into the curve of her hip and began to sob, repeating his regrets over and over again.

  She knelt down beside him, her lips at his cheek. Never uttering a word, just holding on.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  Caroline pressed her hands to his. “Look at me.”

  She hated him. She had to. How could she ever absolve him of this transgression? He shook his head back and forth.

  “Look at me,” she repeated.

  Her voice was shaking. Fuck, he’d made her cry too. He hadn’t meant to do that. “I can’t.”

  She tilted his head up, wiping the tears from his face. “There’s nothing to forgive, Jack. Neither one of us caused this.”

  He couldn’t let this go. He wouldn’t. Not until he’d slaughtered every single man who had ever hurt her and salted the ground after. “I don’t-”

  “This isn’t your fault. None of them hurt anymore. They’re just marks, remember?”

  They can’t pierce your heart unless you let them. What a time for her to use his own words against him. She’d been so worried about revealing her scars and now she was the one trying to make him feel better. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  “Weren’t you the one lecturing me last night about apologies? Stop.” She beckoned him to stand, kissing him gently after they reached their feet. Jack reached out to touch her, then stopped.

  “It’s okay,” she said.

  He stared at the floor, trying to hide his emotions from her. She squeezed his fingers and brought them to the scar below her ribcage.

  “Touch me,” she said. “Please.”

  He couldn’t keep his voice steady. “I don’t have the right.”

  She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it before closing her eyes. “You absolutely do.”

  He kissed her cheek. He could do this. She wanted him to. He left his hand drift downward, stopping at her stomach. Jack ran his fingers along the scar and she stiffened. Did she want him to stop? He ceased his movements.

  “No,” she said. “Keep going.”

  He could learn how to read her again. Figure out what was desire and what was caution. He was out of practice but she’d be patient with him. He ran his hands along her torso, tracing a trail to her back until he was behind her. He ran a finger along the buckle marks, lowering his head and placing a soft kiss on one of the larger scars. He heard her suppress a sob.

  Jack kissed her neck and wrapped one of his arms around her waist. “It’s okay, baby.”

  It took a minute before she squeezed his hand, taking a deep breath. “I know,” Caroline said softly. “It feels good. I just need to get used to it.”

  He wanted his touch to mean more than physical pleasure. He kept going and she leaned into his hands, concentrating. “Tell me what you want,” he said.

  She intertwined her fingers with his. “Keep touching me, Jack. Please.”

  He spun her around to face him. Caroline touched her fingers to his lips and he kissed them. She let her arms drift around his neck. “Keep going.”

  Fuck, he’d do whatever she wanted when she gave him that look. Spoke to him in that tone. He kissed the scars on her wrists. “I love you,” he whispered.

  She ran her hands through his hair. “I know.”

  “I miss you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re so beautiful. My beautiful, fearless, courageous wife.” He traced a path downward from her neck to her bra, kissing her shoulder. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop,” he said.

  Caroline smiled. “You said that the first time we slept together.”

  “I meant it then and I mean it now.”

  She mussed his hair again. “I definitely don’t want you to stop.”

  Their lips met and Jack pulled her closer. His hands caressed her neck, her shoulders, her torso. He walked around again until he was behind her, gently tugging at the band of her bra, pulling back as she shuddered. He needed to learn her cues again.

  “May I-?”

  Her voice was almost a whisper. “Don’t stop.”

  Jack unhooked the bra and pushed the straps off her shoulders. Every inch of her was fucking perfect. He just had to make her believe it. He kissed the scars on her back as he reached around and cupped her breasts in his hands, massaging them lightly. Caroline let out a soft moan that traveled straight to his cock. He could do this. And she’d love it.

  “Come here,” she said, and pulled him by one hand until he was facing her again. He began trailing kisses down her breastbone to below her ribcage, where he dropped to his knees and kissed the jagged scar lovingly. He tugged at her pants, slipping his finger under the waistband. Caroline put her hands in his hair.

  “Don’t stop, Jack,” she whispered. “Please don’t stop.”

  He lowered his head and nuzzled his nose against her pussy through her pants. “This is what I want. Let me touch you there.”

  Caroline, who had been caught in the moment, gently pulled at his hair. He looked up at her. Maybe he’d moved too fast. “What is it, sweetheart?”

  “Nothing,” she whispered.

  That wasn’t the whole story but he could slow down. Give her time to feel comfortable enough to tell him what she was feeling. He kissed the scar on her stomach and moved his hands to her thighs.

  “Jack?”

  He stopped. “Yes?”

  “I think I’d feel more comfortable doing this after I clean myself up a little.”

  Oh. He got the message. He’d taken the world’s fastest shower that morning and she’d gotten nothing. But he could definitely make it up to her. He gave her a mischievous look. “How about a bath?”

  * * * * *

  Caroline stood by the bathtub and started to unbutton her pants. She wasn’t nearly as concerned about Jack seeing her naked anymore. Below the waist was safe, relatively speaking. It was the only area that didn’t have significant damage, aside from the small scar from the bullet that had grazed her leg.

  Jack grabbed her hands. “I get to do that. I’ve waited too long for this. As long as you’re okay with it,” he added.

  A protective, almost doting veneration in his voice. He cared. He wanted to do everything right. To make sure she was comfortable. “Half my clothes are on the bedroom floor anyway,” she said.

  “I want the rest of them off.” He proceeded to undress her, pulling her toward him for a deep kiss. “So fucking beautiful.”

  “I thought you were going to give me a bath.” Caroline tried not to laugh as he nipped at her neck. “I feel filthy.”

  “Give me a minute.” He knelt down and kissed the scar below her ribcage, and she weaved her fingers through his hair. Why had she waited so long to let him do this to her? He rose to his feet and kissed her again.

  “B
ored yet?” she asked.

  “Not hardly.” He helped her step into the water. It was warm, almost hot, the way she liked it.

  “This is nice,” she murmured.

  Jack knelt by the tub and removed his shirt. Caroline took a look at his chest and arms. He looked even better than he had when they first met, which was saying a lot.

  “So, do you work out?” she asked slyly.

  He tossed the shirt out into the hall. “I’ve had a lot of spare time the past couple of years. Had to find some way to keep up with all those young guys so they’d continue to listen to me. Burned a lot of sexual energy.”

  “I bet you found other ways.”

  “Only by myself. No other woman holds a candle to you.” He kissed her forehead. “That’s so cute that you just blushed.”

  Caroline stared into the water. “Old habits die hard.”

  “I missed that,” he said quietly. “You have no idea how much.” He folded a towel and placed it at the end of the tub, pointing at the chain around her neck. “Looks good on you.”

  “We could switch back,” she said.

  He idly tugged on his own chain. “No, I’m pretty attached to yours.”

  “What if I want that one?” Caroline asked, fingering the hair on his chest and patting her wedding ring.

  Jack rubbed the back of his hand along her jawline. “You gave it to me. I haven’t taken it off for almost two years. But you can have it back if you really want it.”

  She could respect his wishes. “It’s kind of a turn on to see you wearing it like that. Rumor on the base is you’re pretty devoted to me. Of course that might have been because you thought I was dead.” Caroline paused when she saw the look on his face. “I’m sorry, Jack. That wasn’t very funny.”

  “We’ll work on getting your sense of humor back. And I am completely committed to you,” he said, kissing her cheek before working his way to her lips. “Dedicated enough to be a slave to your body.”

  “Ooh, I like the way that sounds. I could stay in this tub all day with that kind of attitude.”

  “You’re lucky I have the nicest bathroom here,” Jack said.

  Caroline looked around the rest of the bath, which was quite small. It wasn’t all that impressive. More like a crappy two star hotel room. She felt that way about most of the accommodations when she first arrived but didn’t think it appropriate to complain. The basement she and her men had trained in had been much worse. She wouldn’t even think about that dank cell at The Fed. No, she was happy to have a place to lay her head, to say nothing of some privacy and safety.

  She cocked her head at her husband. “Yep, you sure know how to make a lady feel special. Does your bed rotate too?”

  Jack reached for the shampoo. “There’s that sense of humor. No rotation, but it vibrates when you put a quarter in the machine by the nightstand. Close your eyes.”

  He massaged the shampoo into her hair with gentle hands. When he was done he scrubbed her back and began washing the rest of her body, taking his time, relishing his task. Caroline leaned back against the towel Jack had placed at the end of the tub, sighing contentedly.

  Jack lifted her soapy leg and kissed the top of her foot. “Feeling better?”

  “Absolutely.” When he lowered her leg back into the tub, Caroline straightened up.

  “You missed a spot,” she said.

  “I was going to let you do that,” he said.

  To her surprise, he looked a bit self-conscious. “Mr. McIntyre, are you nervous?”

  He folded the washcloth in his hands. “No, I’m not, Mrs. McIntyre.”

  Caroline smiled. “I like when you call me that. No one else gets to say it, you know. Not without me snarling at them.”

  “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want me to do,” Jack said.

  “You did it last night.”

  “That was different.”

  “No, it wasn’t.”

  “Don’t argue.”

  Caroline laughed. “What changed?”

  “I might have manipulated you a little last night.”

  If that was manipulation, she’d take it anytime and anyplace. “Jack, you did exactly what I wanted you to do. And I want you to do it again. Please keep going.”

  She closed her eyes, leaning back. Jack spent more than a few minutes caressing her lower abdomen and inner thighs with the terrycloth material, stroking her face with his dry hand. Caroline removed the washcloth from his grasp and put it on the side of the tub.

  “You’re not finished,” she said. “But you won’t be needing this anymore.” She took his right hand and guided it under the water between her thighs.

  “Are you sure this is what you want, sweetheart?”

  She’d brought some of this on herself with the mixed signals she’d thrown at him. She made a note to be as communicative as possible until he knew how to read her again. Caroline rested her head on the back of the tub again. “Yes,” she whispered.

  Jack coaxed her legs open. “If anything starts to make you feel uncomfortable, tell me.”

  As he began to touch her, Caroline thought the odds were pretty low that she’d want him to stop. He knew just where to tease her and drive her wild. He’d been correct; his memory was pretty damn good. He hadn’t forgotten a thing. And it didn’t take long before she realized she was close. She tried to grab the side of the tub to support herself but her grip slipped.

  “I’m proud of my ability to get you off with one finger.” Jack took her hand with his free one and held it securely. Caroline closed her eyes again. “No,” he said softly. “Look at me.”

  She held his gaze. His eyes were damp, but he was smiling.

  “I love you,” he said.

  The force of her orgasm had her splashing in the tub, crying out his name as she squeezed his hand tighter. After several very long, very intense moments, he removed his hand from between her legs.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  She nodded, bringing a hand up to his cheek. She left it there for a long time, letting her breathing slow down, feeling her heart rate go back to normal.

  Jack kissed her palm. “That’s the look in your eyes I’ve been waiting for.” He pressed his lips to hers. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Caroline didn’t know what to say so she said the first thing that made any sense. “I love you, Jack.”

  “I know,” he said. “But you need to find a new line to tell me after I get you off.”

  Post-orgasmic giggles were the most rewarding kind. “I’ll try.”

  Jack kissed her for a long time before reaching for a fresh towel. “Bathtime is over,” he said, helping her out of the tub.

  She took the towel out of his hands and started to dry herself off. “Works for me.”

  He grabbed the towel back. “There’s no way I don’t get to do that.”

  As soon as he was done Caroline pulled him toward her. “This is kind of fun,” she said. It was startling how they clicked together physically so quickly, after everything that had happened.

  “Wait.” He plucked her brush off the vanity and smoothed out her tangles. “Your hair is a mess.”

  “Am I presentable now?” she asked.

  Jack grinned. “Yes.” He draped the wet towel around her shoulders. “I want to kiss every inch of you.”

  His dress pants were damp. She could feel him pressed up against her. Caroline wrapped one leg around him. The towel fell to the floor as he squeezed her bare ass.

  “I like this,” she whispered. She kissed him hard and leaned over to pick up the towel. She folded it and put it on the floor, then knelt down and unbuttoned his pants, smiling when she saw the obvious bulge near his fly. She unzipped him. “I thought I felt something just now. A little eager, are we?”

  He groaned. “I’ve been waiting almost two years for this, woman. Cut me some slack. And before you say it, last night doesn’t count.”

  She frowned at him. “You didn’t enjoy my hand job?”

&nb
sp; Jack tapped her chin. “You know what I mean.”

  Caroline pulled down his pants and boxers, and he kicked them aside. She began teasing his cock with her hands, stroking the length of it. She kept going until she knew he couldn’t stand it and was tempted to do it a little longer, but that seemed cruel. He certainly deserved the best she had to give. She took him in her mouth.

  “Fuck,” Jack said. “You are incredible.”

  She closed her eyes as he groaned her name. He gently pushed her head back and pulled her to her feet, tracing his finger down her cheek.

  “Such beautiful eyes,” he said. “And luscious lips.” He lowered his head and trailed his tongue along her jaw. “And such a sweet, sweet mouth.”

  “I thought I was the one who was supposed to do the seducing,” she said. “You barely let me get started.”

  Jack kissed her jawline. “Had we settled on that? I thought we could make it a mutual thing.”

  She tried not to moan when he bit her earlobe. “I guess that works.”

  He grinned at her. But it was much more than a grin. She’d never been one for cheesy metaphors but the smile that danced across his lips practically lit up the room.

  “Your sadness is gone,” Caroline whispered.

  “What?”

  “Your eyes,” she explained. “You look happy.”

  “I am happy,” he said. “You make me that way.”

  She had no words to respond to such a declaration so she bit her lip, toying with his hair.

  “That smile,” he whispered. “That gorgeous smile. I almost don’t want to kiss you because I want to keep looking at it.”

  Naturally, her smile widened. “I promise it’ll be there when you get done.”

  Jack placed her hand over his heart. “You’re not scattered, Caroline,” he said. “All the pieces of you are where they need to be. Right here.”