The Pulse Effex Series: Box Set

by L. R. Burkard

  I groaned. “Don’t be so—cryptic! (I pulled that word from an English lesson I remembered from school and felt proud of it.) “What are you talking about?”

  He took a deep breath and looked away, and then back at me. “I didn’t want to say anything.” He stared into my eyes. “You’ve got enough to worry about.”

  Now I was really alarmed, and gasped, “You have to tell me!”

  He nodded. “I will. But don’t let it worry you.” He took another breath. “Okay. I thought Jared might do me in. He threatened as much.”

  Another gasp escaped my lips. All my feelings of sorrow and pity that I’d had for Jared vaporized. “That is exactly what I was afraid of!”

  “I know. But you have to understand—.”

  “Everyone needs to know about this! Who Jared really is! He’s dangerous!”

  “Look, I think the guy was losing it. I don’t think he was in his right mind.”

  “No, he’s always been dangerous. We warned you before you left! And you wouldn’t listen.”

  He put his head back, looking up into the sky. When he looked back at me, his eyes were somber. “He was okay for most of the trip. But he killed a bunch of guys—shot them from behind. Just like that, with no warning—they didn’t have a chance.” His face creased in a frown. “That’s when I first suspected he was losing it.”

  As we continued to talk, I got the whole story little by little. I was horrified that Jared might want to get rid of Roper because of me! I wanted everyone to know about it. “You have to tell Mr. Martin, you know that, right?”

  Roper didn’t look convinced. “I think, now we’re on the compound—I hope, anyway—that if he recovers, he’ll back off. He’ll build his bombs and be satisfied with that. He’ll leave me alone.”

  “You don’t know that. I think he’s always gonna be a threat for you! Not to mention anyone else he doesn’t like the looks of! Remember those men he shot!”

  Roper said, softly, “We’ll see.”

  “If you don’t tell the Martins, I will.”

  He eyed me with a gleam of amusement. “Let’s wait and see if Jared’s gonna recover. No sense bringing him shame if he don’t come through this.”

  I didn’t like it but said, “Okay.” In my heart of hearts, I was torn. I wanted Jared to get well and make those bombs—I wanted that road to be destroyed!—but I didn’t want him well enough to hurt Roper.

  He came to his feet and then took my hand, pulling me off the swing. We stood facing each other. I felt a jolt of excitement go through me. Staring into Roper’s beautiful, long-lashed eyes, I hoped he would kiss me.

  “I appreciate your concern,” he said, looking deeply into my eyes.

  I drew in a breath. “Oh yeah? How much do you appreciate it?” With a little smile he lowered his head towards me, just as the sound of boisterous children, laughing and chattering as they burst from the house, came at us. I sighed and took his arm. “C’mon. If they reach us here we’ll be conscripted into playtime.” He allowed me to turn him away and we walked quickly towards the barn. The children adored Roper and his gentle, fun ways, but I wanted him to myself, at least a little longer. Plus, he’d been about to kiss me—no way did I want to miss that!

  Inside the barn we dropped into a pile of clean hay. Roper put an arm around me. “Looks like we’re gonna roll in the hay,” he said. I started to laugh but then he kissed me. My whole world melted away, all my worries, all my fears, the chores, the tedium of life, the heat, dirt and sweat that was my existence. All I knew was the feel of his mouth on mine, warm and sweet; and his arms holding me tight. I felt such happiness! When he kissed me the second time, I realized it was the first true happiness I’ve had since the pulse. In some ways, it felt like the first real happiness I’ve ever known. Weird. No, wonderful!

  After we’d kissed, we sat holding each other. A lovely thought occurred to me. “If Jared doesn’t recover, there’s no reason for you to go out there for more airbags!”

  He sniffed and pursed his lips. “Maybe not. But Grant—Mr. Martin—is hoping I’ll learn what to do with them.”

  “You mean build bombs? That has its own dangers!”

  He nodded. “Can’t be helped.”

  I pressed my head into him. “I can’t stand the thought of ever losing you.”

  He kissed my head. “It’s a scary world right now.”

  I pulled away from him again and looked up into his deep blue-grey eyes. “But less scary when I’m with you. I wish we could stay like this for a long time.”

  He smiled, looking around the barn. “In the hay? Why not.”

  I poked him gently. “You know what I mean. I want to be with you.”

  When he was silent, I added, “Do you still think I’m too young?”

  Another smile. “Well, you’ve grown by what—a few weeks since we last talked about it?” His eyes sparkled at me. But suddenly the sadness of my life returned, hitting me like a flood. The loss of my home, my parents, Roper’s long absence, my loneliness and weariness. The constant feeling of impending doom.

  I shook my head. “No,” I said softly. “Maybe you haven’t noticed. I’ve grown years since then.”

  He nuzzled his face against mine. “Hardship does that to you. But you’re still a young lady.”

  “I’ll be seventeen in September.”

  “That’s better than sixteen but still only seventeen.”

  “I’m older than my age.”

  He pulled away to study me. Slowly he shook his head. “We have to wait until you’re at least eighteen. Before we can get serious.”

  I stared up at him in dismay. “I’m serious now! I hoped you were, too.”

  He winced. “What I mean is, before we can...you know, tie the knot.” My heart surged with hope at his words. He stared into my eyes. “Or do other things that go along with that.” He kissed my forehead.

  “Lexie and Blake want to get married and she’s not eighteen yet,” I told him.

  “And they’re not married, yet,” he said, firmly.

  “But they will be. Sooner than you think.”

  He studied me. “Are they gonna do something foolish?”

  “No!”

  “Okay, look. I don’t know what Lexie and Blake are planning on doing, but I know me, and I’m getting to know you, and for right now, we’re gonna wait. We’re gonna do it right. Just because the world ended doesn’t mean we don’t know what’s right anymore.”

  I stared up at him plaintively a moment. “If Mr. Martin said it’s okay—would you marry me?”

  He chuckled. I realized I’d just proposed to him, instead of waiting for him to do it. He drew me close and, putting his mouth against my ear, whispered, “How about, you wait for me to propose, and get permission, and most of all, for you to turn eighteen?”

  I pushed him away. “Eighteen? That’s more than a year away! You don’t know if we’ll still be alive!”

  His face creased into a frown. “Don’t think like that.” Again he pulled me up close. I could have stayed like that for hours but I had chores waiting. We kissed again and then went our separate ways.

  I loved our time together but I’m disappointed. I don’t want just a little bit of Roper. I want all of him. I want to be his wife.

  chapter 32

  ANDREA

  Later on I saw Lexie heading to the barn. I was knee-deep in green beans, picking away. I put my basket down and hurried to join her.

  She was brushing down Rhema, which didn’t surprise me. She’d showered her horse with extra attention since the mare returned.

  “Any word on Jared?” I asked. I was on pins and needles waiting to find out if Roper would have to go out on the road for more airbag thingies. If Jared got well, he’d have to go. If not, he might not have to—not unless we were sure he’d be able to use the things for building weapons, and so far we weren’t sure. I wasn’t exactly hoping Jared wouldn’t recover but after learning how he’d threatened my man, I wasn’t exactly pra
ying for him, either.

  “He’s still got a high fever,” Lex said. She paused and met my eyes. “I think they’re going to attempt an amputation today.”

  I shuddered. “Mr. Clepps said he’d lose too much blood if they amputate.”

  Lexie nodded. “I know. My mom says they have no choice. He’ll die from gangrene poisoning if they don’t.” She patted Rhema and came out of the stall. She hung up the brush and turned to me, wiping her hands off on her shorts. “We should pray for him.”

  “You can pray for him,” I said. “I can’t.”

  She studied me. “Why not?”

  I sniffed, wondering if I ought to tell her. Roper had said there was no sense shaming Jared if he was about to die. So I said, “I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll pray for him, I guess.”

  Lexie’s brows went up. “So what did you come in here to talk about?”

  Then I remembered I had good news. “Roper. We had special time together! And we kissed more than once.”

  Lexie’s eyes lit up. “Tell me what happened!”

  Smiling, we flopped onto the hay. It was almost exactly where I’d been with Roper earlier. I told her about our time together. Lexie was delighted. Sitting there chatting, we were suddenly just two girls, not soldiers or laborers or survivors. Just girlfriends talking about guys —and we had more fun than we’d had in ages.

  “I’m in love,” I said, finally.

  She giggled. “I could have told you that!”

  “No really. I love him, Lex.” I paused. “I love him so much it hurts.”

  She nodded. “I know. Love brings worries. You could lose the one you love.”

  “Or lose his love!” I said, with a forlorn note in my voice. The thought of having Roper’s love—and then losing it—was horrible.

  “That’s what marriage is for,” Lexie said, musing. “My mom says that during the length of a marriage at times you don’t FEEL like you’re in love anymore. But the marriage is there to keep you together. It’s bigger than the both of you. It’s God’s framework for when feelings aren’t enough; it catches you and holds you in place until the feelings return. And if you work at it, she says, they WILL return.”

  Her words sounded amazing to me—I’d never thought of marriage in such a way. But I frowned. “Marriage wasn’t enough for my parents.”

  Lexie was silent a minute. “Your mom didn’t honor her vows. That’s the one thing that even the Bible says is good enough reason for divorce—being unfaithful to a spouse.” Quickly she added, “Your mom didn’t get that marriage isn’t about feelings, primarily. It’s about commitment.”

  “I like that,” I said, nodding. Then, “Roper says I’m too young for us to marry.” Lexie turned to me, smiling slyly. “No doubt AFTER kissing you, first!”

  I grinned. “Yeah. But I told him I was older than my age.”

  We sat back, staring at the roof of the barn. Lexie picked up a piece of hay and played with it, turning it in her fingers. She said, softly, “Doesn’t it feel like we’re so much older than we used to be? Doesn’t it feel like we’ve lived for decades since the pulse?”

  I took a deep breath and sighed. “It does. It’s hard to believe it hasn’t been a full year, yet.” I turned to her. “But you are older. You’re seventeen, now. Which reminds me—speaking of marriage—when is Blake going to ask your father if you two can get married?” We’d had a little party for Lexie and I even decorated her birthday cake. (The Martins were so supremely thoughtful to store things like cake mixes—it made life feel almost normal to bake a cake—even though we had to do it in a sun oven.)

  She frowned. “He did. My dad told Blake I’m still too young.”

  Surprised, I sat up. “You mean, Blake asked your father for permission?”

  She turned over to lean on an elbow and surveyed me, frowning. “Yeah. But he said no.”

  “How could you not tell me this?”

  “I’m sorry! If he’d said yes, I’d have told you!”

  “I told Roper you and Blake were ready to get married.”

  “We are! It’s just my dad isn’t ready.”

  “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me Blake asked.”

  “I was depressed about it, I guess.” She smiled. “So you and Roper are talking marriage!”

  I laughed. “I sort of proposed to him.”

  Lexie eyed me with amazement.

  “I thought, why not? What have I got to lose?”

  She was still grinning. “What did he say?”

  “That we have to wait until I’m eighteen.”

  She’d flopped back down to face the barn roof. “So we both have to wait.” She turned to look at me. “Your birthday is coming up. How can we make it special?”

  My birthday was in early September, less than a month away. I smiled. “Just give me chocolate cake. All I need is cake and I’ll be totally cool.”

  “I think we can manage that,” she said. “That’s it?”

  “Cake and Roper.” We both chuckled. “I mean it,” I said. “Your father isn’t my father. There’s no reason Roper and I can’t get married.” I drew a stray piece of hay from Lexie’s hair.

  She said, “Well, my dad feels responsible for you. You’re like his daughter, now.”

  “But I’m not really his daughter.”

  “But he’s old-fashioned. I don’t think he’ll let you. And you haven’t even convinced Roper.”

  “He’s just hung up on the age thing. We live in a brave new world, right?”

  “You mean a crazy new world.”

  “Exactly! We can’t afford to wait, like in the old days.”

  “I agree!”

  Studying Lex’s cowgirl blonde hair and pretty profile, I had an idea. “You know, Lex, even though we can’t convince your folks to let us get married, I wonder if Blake could?”

  She turned, her face alight. “I’ll bet he could! When he asked my dad, he wasn’t thinking about HOW to get permission. He just wanted to know if it was okay. My dad said no, and to Blake, that was that. But if we ask him to work on my father, I’ll bet he could!”

  “I think so, too! He has a way of putting things so people understand...like it’s a scientific fact and you can’t disagree with facts.”

  Lexie nodded. “Uh-huh. And it’s a scientific fact that this girl wants to marry him before things get even crazier and we lose our chance.”

  “Go for it!’ I said, coming to my feet. “Speaking of which, I have to go.” I’d left a basket of green beans sitting out in the sun and needed to finish picking. But I was also slightly jealous—Blake probably COULD convince the Martins to let him and Lexie get married. But then I realized that if he did, it would pave the way for me and Roper to follow suit!

  Outside, the sun was beating hot but for once I didn’t care. I was on cloud nine at the thought of my future marriage.

  After getting as many beans as I could find, I stopped in the bed of acorn squash to check that the watering containers still had water. To my relief, they did. Finally I went back in the house where I dropped off the beans in the kitchen.

  Mrs. Martin peered in my basket. “Good picking,” she murmured. Then, “We’re going to can these. Would you mind fetching me some buckets of water? Put them in the outdoor kettle. I’ve already got a fire going.”

  So I had to fetch water, anyway! I might’ve made a smart remark about it but then I thought of Jared. “Is Jared’s arm—?” I couldn’t finish the question. Mrs. Martin leveled her gaze at me. “They’re operating right now. Cecily and Mrs. Philpot are assisting as well as Mr. Prendergast.” She paused, her eyes deep, troubled pools. “Pray for that boy.”

  At that exact moment we heard a deep, groaning cry coming from upstairs. It was a cry of agony and sent horror shuddering through my bones. I knew immediately that it was Jared. Stoic Jared, in so much pain he couldn’t contain it!

  Gasping, I hurried out of the house while tears stung my eyes. Even Jared shouldn’t have to suffer that m
uch, I thought. Nobody should have to!

  LATER

  I tried to keep my mind off Jared by thinking about things I could do for Lexie’s wedding. Like, make her a veil. Or help her mom bake a big, beautiful cake. I wracked my brain trying to think of something I could give as a wedding present. I was that confident that Blake would certainly convince Mr. Martin to give his consent. But suddenly I heard shouting, children screaming and crying, and then Lexie went running past me like the wind. I put down the bucket I’d been filling for Mrs. Martin and hurried after her. My heart was in my throat. I was sure one of the kids had been hurt.

  That wasn’t the case. But what happened is just as bad. Lexie and Blake may not soon get married. Maybe not ever! Blake is unconscious and may die! He was intending to rig up a hose system to drain manure runoff into a fallow field, but he got overcome by fumes—we think it must have been methane!

  The manure pit was designed for the Martins’ animals but wasn’t big enough for all the animals that are now on the compound. (The Martins used to have three horses and one cow. Now there’s eight horses, a cow and a mule.) The pit filled up before summer started so since then, we’ve just piled up the animals’ waste in a large heap on a concrete slab.

  According to Lexie, manure is needed around the farm and it never used to build up too high. But the amount of gardening we can do by hand is nothing next to what used to happen on this farm using power equipment. We just aren’t using the old stuff—the manure that’s had time to ferment and rot—nearly as fast as the animals produce the new stuff. So Mr. Martin asked Blake to set up a hose system whereby the decaying manure could be vented into our gardens or fallow land.

  Lexie explained that it shouldn’t have been a dangerous task because the pit was never enclosed; any gases that built up would have dispersed into the air. But during early summer rains, the manure started to leak out in rivulets and was running into the cabin area. To stop the runoff, someone put up a rudimentary wooden wall on one side and then covered the heap with a tarp—because if manure stays dry, it won’t leak out.

  Anyway—Blake apparently didn’t think about it (he knows better, we know he does!) and he pulled aside the tarp and moved into the enclosure—alone—and he was immediately overcome by fumes. If Mrs. Wasserman hadn’t been taking the kids out to the playground—or happened to look over at just the right moment—no one would have seen Blake go down and we figure he’d have died!