The Lady of Loyalty House: A Novel

by Justin H. McCarthy

  XXIV

  A HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE

  There was a loud, scuffling noise without, as of the trampling ofmany feet and the inarticulate growlings of wild beasts. Then Cluppentered the room, clasping in his mighty arms the long body of MasterPaul Hungerford. He was followed by Garlinge, who was performing thelike embracive office for the short body of Master Peter Rainham. Thetwo angry gentlemen plunged and struggled impotently to freethemselves from their guardians and hurl themselves at each other'sthroats. They might as well have tried to free themselves from clampsof iron. To the master-muscled Garlinge and Clupp--a strong Gyas, astrong Cloanthes, no less--they were no more difficult to restrainthan would have been a brace of puling babes. Even their speech wasnot free to make amends for their captivity, for they were so brimfulof choler and had so roared and shrieked their rage ere this that thetorrent of their fury spent itself in vacant mouthings andsplutterings. Sir Blaise eyed the brawlers with exceeding disfavor.

  "Gentlemen, gentlemen," he entreated, "be calm, I beg of you."

  At the sound of his voice the disputants found theirs, or ratherfound themselves restored to command over human speech. Each turnedtowards Sir Blaise, swaying over the clasped arms of his captor.

  "Sir Blaise," screamed Master Paul, "in the King's name I call uponyou to commit this thief to jail."

  "Set that footpad in the pillory, Sir Blaise," yelled Master Peter.Then they turned upon each other again.

  "You rogue," cried Master Paul.

  "You rascal," answered Master Peter.

  In a second they were again struggling to get at each other, andwere, as before, imperturbably held asunder by Garlinge and Clupp.

  Again Sir Blaise protested.

  "Good friends, be calm, I entreat you."

  "I'll cut his heart out," Peter vociferated, stabbing a dirty hand inthe direction of his enemy.

  "I'll make him mincemeat," Paul promised, sawing at the air.

  Sir Blaise, turning away in disgust, saw how in the garden Brillianawas making for the house. He frowned on the malcontents.

  "Hush, here comes the lady."

  Even as he spoke Brilliana entered from the garden, followed byEvander and Halfman. The girl looked as bright as sunlight as shegreeted the company.

  "Good-morning, Sir Blaise; good-morning, my masters."

  Then she burst out laughing at the furious faces and helplessgesticulations of the irate claimants. Her laughter was verydelightful for most men to hear, but it goaded the squires to frenzy.

  "Sir Blaise," cried Master Paul, "I call you to witness that the ladylaughs at us."

  "Sir Blaise," cried Master Peter, "there stands our undoing."Brilliana frowned a little and turned to Halfman.

  "Friend," she said, "will you see order here."

  "Very blithely," Halfman answered. He commanded the servants.

  "You, Garlinge and Clupp, see that your prisoners keep silence."

  Master Paul and Master Peter began to protest in chorus.

  "We are no prison--" But they got no further, for Garlinge and Cluppsilenced them by clapping huge hands over their gaping mouths.Brilliana gave a little sigh of relief at the welcome quiet.

  "Now, Sir Blaise," she asked, "why are these gentlemen here?"

  Sir Blaise made salutation and answered, "Truly, most paradisiacallady, these gentlemen make grave allegations that you did insidiouslyincite them to the commission of a felony."

  Brilliana looked from Sir Blaise to the muffled, grappled plaintiffsand made mirthful decision.

  "I represent the King here. I will try this matter."

  Blaise felt bound to lodge protest against this monstrousproposition.

  "Perhaps, most Elysian of fair ladies, it would be, as one might say,more seemly if I, as a justice of the peace--"

  Brilliana daffed him down.

  "Sir Blaise, we are at war now, and by your leave I will handle thismatter after my own fashion."

  "I must protest," Blaise bleated, but Brilliana would not listen tohim.

  "You must do nothing," she insisted, "but help me to set chairs. Onehere for me, one there for you, my brother justice; one there forCaptain Cloud, who, as a stranger of distinction, shall have a seaton the bench."

  "I thank you for the honor," said Evander, watching the scene withmuch entertainment. As Brilliana talked she, with Blaise and Halfman,had been busy placing seats as she directed at the table.

  "Captain Halfman," Brilliana went on, "you write a clerkly hand. Sityou here; you shall be our clerk. Arraign the prisoners."

  By this time all were seated as Brilliana had disposed; Sir Blaisehad completely surrendered his dignity to her spell. Even Halfmanfound pleasure in the grotesque sham trial.

  Garlinge and Clupp brought their charges down to face the newlyformed tribunal. Halfman spoke.

  "Here, my lady, we have two hobs who have come to loggerheads as towhich is best disposed to the King. Garlinge, let Master Hungerfordspeak." Garlinge removed his massive hand from his prisoner's mouth,and Paul, after gaping like a fish for some seconds, gasped out,

  "Lady, you know well enough how you have befooled us."

  Brilliana stared upon him, bewitchingly unembarrassed by the charge.

  "Manners, master," cried Halfman, angrily, "or I'll manner you."

  Brilliana daintily deprecated his heat.

  "Wait, wait," she said. "First of all, are you a loyal subject of theKing?"

  Master Paul rubbed his chin dubiously. "That is as it may be," hemuttered.

  Brilliana tapped the table. "Faint hesitation is flat treason," shecried. Turning to Halfman, she commanded, "Write him down for aconfessed Roundhead."

  Master Paul clawed towards her excitedly.

  "No, no; pray you not so fast," he entreated. "I am a good King'sman."

  Brilliana condescended approval.

  "He amends his plea," she noted to Halfman. Master Paul went on,fractiously,

  "But that does not make me love to be plundered."

  Brilliana rose and, resting the tips of her fingers on the table,addressed Master Hungerford sternly.

  "Master Hungerford, one of two things. Either you are a Roundhead, inwhich case you have no rights in loyal, royal Oxfordshire--say I notwell, Sir Blaise?"

  "Marvellous well," Sir Blaise assented.

  "Ergo," Brilliana continued, "having no rights you have no goods,having no goods you cannot be plundered."

  "Yet I was plundered," Master Paul protested. Brilliana exorcised theplea.

  "We shall convince you to the contrary. If you are no Roundhead thenyou are a stanch Cavalier, and in the King's name you confiscatedcertain gear of your fellow-prisoner."

  Now, while Paul was being interrogated Clupp had removed his handfrom Master Peter's mouth and contented himself with holding himfast. Master Peter now saw an opportunity to assert himself.

  "I am not a prison--" he began, but was not suffered to speakfurther. Instantly Clupp's palm closed again upon the parted jaws andreduced him to silence once more, while Brilliana went on.

  "In doing which you deserved well of his Majesty."

  "Ay, all was well so far," Master Paul grumbled; "but he played thelike trick upon me at your instigation."

  Brilliana would not hear of it.

  "You misuse speech. 'Tis no trick to serve the King. As Iunderstand, each of you accuses the other of robbing him."

  Master Paul agreed. Master Peter, gagged behind Clupp's hand, noddeddismally. Brilliana went on.

  "This is at first blush a dilemma, but our wit makes all clear. Eachof you, avowedly in the King's name, did descend upon the dwelling ofa disaffected rebel and make certain seizures there which have beenduly sent to his Majesty. Each of you is, therefore, proved to be aloyal subject and honorable gentleman. So far you are with me, SirBlaise?"

  "Surely, surely," the knight agreed.

  "Yet, on the other hand," continued Brilliana, "each of you accusesthe other of robbing him. Now to rob is to offend against the King's
law, to be, therefore, an enemy to the King; and an enemy to the Kingis a Roundhead. Is not this well argued, Sir Blaise?"

  "Socrates could not have bettered it," commended Sir Blaise.

  "We arrive, therefore, at the strange conclusion," said Brilliana,judicially, "that each of you is at the same time an honest Cavalierand a dishonest Roundhead. Now, as no man living can be in the samebreath Cavalier and Roundhead, it follows as plainly as B follows Athat whichever one of you complains of the other is avowedly theKing's enemy and a palpable rebel."

  Master Paul scratched his head.

  "I do not follow your reasoning," he mumbled. Brilliana appealed tothe justice of the peace.

  "Yet it is very clear. Is it not, Sir Blaise?"

  "Limpidity itself," Sir Blaise approved, complacently. Brillianaresumed.

  "One or other of you is a traitor and shall be sent to Oxford inchains, to await the King's pleasure and his own pain. I care notwhich it be."

  "You have set me in such a quandary," Master Paul protested, "my headbuzzes like a hive."

  Brilliana directly questioned him.

  "You, Master Hungerford, are you a King's man?"

  Master Paul was vehement in asseveration.

  "I am a King's man, hook and eye."

  "Then," Brilliana assumed, "'tis Master Rainham must fare in chainsto Oxford."

  Master Rainham, staring at her over Clupp's paw, had such appealingterror in his eyes that Brilliana pitied him.

  "'Tis your turn now," she said. "Let him give tongue, Clupp."

  Clupp withdrew his hand and Master Rainham gurgled:

  "I proclaim myself a faithful subject of the King. Let that dog trotto Oxford."

  "You matchless basilisk!" screamed Master Paul at him, and "Youdamnable mandrake!" retorted Master Peter. The pair would have flownat each other if they could have wriggled free. But as they could notthey perforce resigned themselves to hear what Brilliana would saynext.

  "Why, then, it stands thus," Brilliana summed up. "This court decidesthat you are both servants of the King; that you have both done theKing good service, willing and yet unwilling. I think I shall havesome little credit with the King, and I shall use it with his Majestyby entreating him to grant the grace of knighthood to two honestfriends of mine and two honest lovers of his--Master Hungerford andMaster Rainham."

  Master Paul looked at Master Peter; Master Peter looked at MasterPaul. Master Paul smiled. Master Peter smiled.

  "A knighthood!"

  Master Peter mumbled the word lovingly. Master Paul blew a kisstowards Brilliana.

  "Then I shall be indeed your knight," he simpered.

  "Are you content?" Brilliana asked, gravely, and the two squiresanswered in union,

  "We are content."

  "Then this worshipful court adjourns sine die. Captain Halfman, seethat our friends be refreshed ere they depart."

  Halfman rose, and with a "Follow me, sirs," made for the door. SirBlaise stooped over Brilliana's finger-tips.

  "Farewell, my lady wisdom. Solomon was not more wise nor Minos moresapient."

  "I thought you would uphold me," Brilliana replied. "Farewell."

  Sir Blaise saluted Evander, who returned the salutation and quittedthe room. Master Paul, taking leave of Brilliana, whispered,

  "When I am knight, you shall be my lady."

  "When you are king, diddle-diddle, I shall be queen," Brillianalaughed at him, making a reverence. He joined Halfman at the door andMaster Peter approached Brilliana.

  "When I wear my new title, I will lay it at your feet," he promised,solemnly.

  "Can you not keep it in your own hands?" Brilliana questioned. Shemade him a reverence, he made her his best bow and went to the door,where Master Paul waited with Halfman. Here a point of ceremonyarose.

  "After you, Sir Peter," Master Paul suggested. Master Peter fondledthe title.

  "Sir Peter! It sounds nobly. Nay, after you, Sir Paul," he protested.They were at this business so long that Halfman lost patience.

  "Stand not on the order of your going," he growled between his teeth,then grasping with an air of bluff good-fellowship an arm of eithersquire, he banged them somewhat roughly together.

  "Nay, arm in arm, as neighbor knights should," he suggested, and sojostled them out of the chamber and conducted them to the buttery,where for the next hour he diverted himself by making them very drunkindeed.