Priestley Plays Four

by J. B. Priestley

  As scene fades in, DIMMOCK, who is holding a great many typed sheets, is standing up and coming to the end of a very long speech.

  DIMMOCK: … And – er – concluding these brief remarks – for of course I had no idea I would be – er – called upon tonight – to help propose this Toast – finally – I wish to assure all our friends from Peradore here tonight – that if – er – at any time – they wish to pay us a visit – we on our side will be only too happy to – er – show them all we can – and to explain, as best we can, all those – er – astonishing developments which have made – er – for progress – and – er the triumph of our civilisation – er –

  The pneumatic drill starts up. He hurls down his notes, then sits down. Drill stops. He gets up, drill starts again. He gives it up now. Drill stops.

  KING: Master Marlagram will reply for Peradore.

  MARLAGRAM: (Rising.) Your majesty – ladies and gentlemen – he-he-he! – having listened to our friend Mr Dimmock for the last half-hour, I will now be very short indeed. If he and our friends in his world should ever tire of the progress they are making, and the triumphs of their civilisation, and are ready to make do with a little peace and quiet, good food and drink, pure air, leisurely talk, a night’s sleep and no radio-activity to devour the marrow in their bones, we on our side will do our humble best to entertain them. (Applause. He sits, chuckling.)

  KING: Captain Plunket will now propose the Toast.

  CAPT. P.: (Who is tight.) Your Majesty – Princess Melicent – Sir Sam – boys and girls – shan’t talk long as most of you seem to be thoroughly plastered.

  BARMAID: (Calling.) Never! (She hiccups.) Pardon!

  CAPT. P.: Princess an’ Sam say they’ll live in both our worlds. Quite ri’. Same here. Lot of talk – seem to remember – about One World. I say – Two Worlds. So does Princess – so does Sam. Fact that there’s a difference of a day – that at this end of the table it’s Wednesday and that end it’s Tuesday – who cares? Great advantage really. Work it properly – have two Saturdays running – an’ never a Monday. One time in Mauritius – thought it was Thursday for a week – grew a beard an’ nearly learnt how to play a mandolin – tell you about it someday. But now it’s time for the happy pair to wish us all long luck an’ the best of life. Join Toast in drinking us.

  They stand and drink to the bridal pair. Applause and cheers.

  PRINCESS: (Smoothly.) As I am entirely unaccustomed to public speaking, while thanking you for the way in which you have both proposed this Toast and received it, I shall ask my husband to reply on my behalf. (Sits to applause.)

  SAM: Thank you, thank you! Nobody realises better than I do that I don’t deserve to have won the hand and heart of a beautiful smiling Princess. I’ve not been clever, I’ve not even been very brave. Just lucky. All I can say on my own behalf is that when at last the great day arrived – I knew at once, without anybody telling me, that it was the Thirty-First of June. (To the audience, smiling.) That’s the secret, ladies and gentlemen. Never mistake for just another day – that day of all days – the glorious Thirty-First of June.

  Burst of music as he sits down and the whole table breaks into apparent animated talk. Curtain.

  End of Play.

  JENNY VILLIERS

  Note: This version of the play is substantially different from the short novel, Jenny Villiers, which I based on my original version of the play, produced at the Bristol Old Vic.

  Note: Jenny Villiers and Ann Seward are played by the same actress, and Alfred Leathers and John Stokes by the same actor. These are deliberate doubles, but there are of course plenty of ordinary doubles as well.

  JENNY VILLIERS ANN SEWARD

  ALFRED LEATHERS JOHN STOKEs

  JAMES WHITEFOOT JULIAN NAPIER

  OTLEY JOURNALIST

  MAYOR SAM MOON

  DR. CAVE SIR ROMFORD TIVERTON

  AUGUSTUS PONSONBY SPRAGG

  MRS. LUDLOW NURSE

  1st and 2nd ACTRESS, LANDLORD and DOCTOR all played by understudies. They appear in Scene I as guests or members of Cheveril’s company, and in the banquet scene as members of the Shakespearean Society. About five walk-ons, especially for Scene I, and possibly the banquet scene, would complete the company.

  Add Cheveril, Pauline, Kettle to above lists of doubles, and you have eleven – plus four small understudy parts above – fifteen – plus five walk-ons – twenty.

  Characters

  PRESENT DAY

  MARTIN CHEVERIL

  a dramatist

  ANN SEWARD

  a young actress

  PAULINE FRASER

  leading lady in Cheveril’s Company

  ALFRED LEATHERS

  an old actor

  JAMES WHITEFOOT

  leading man

  OTLEY

  manager of Theatre Royal

  DR. CAVE

  MAYOR OF BARTON SPA

  other members of Cheveril’s company, guests at party, waiter and waitress.

  ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO

  JENNY VILLIERS

  a young actress

  WALTER KETTLEstage manager

  EDMUND LUDLOWmanager of Theatre Royal Co.

  FANNY LUDLOW

  his wife

  JULIAN NAPIER

  leading juvenile

  JOHN STOKES

  an old actor

  SAM MOON

  a comedian

  AUGUSTUS PONSONBY

  secretary of Shakespearean Society

  SPRAGG

  a writer of farces

  1st ACTRESS

  2nd ACTRESSM

  NURSE (MRS. PARSONS)

  JOURNALIST

  LANDLORD

  DOCTOR

  SIR ROMFORD TIVERTON

  Other members of Ludlow’s company. Also, members of Shakespearean Society.

  The action, which is continuous, takes place in the Green Room of the Theatre Royal, Barton Spa.

  Act One

  Scene: The Green Room of the Theatre Royal, Barton Spa

  It is a large room, probably dating from the middle of the eighteenth century, and it has been carefully preserved. It is panelled in dark wood, and the general effect is rather sombre. Downstage Right (actors’) is the door to manager’s office, etc. This is the only door in sight, and there are no windows visible. The room is, so to speak, waisted at the centre, and probably there is a pillar at each side, with an arch between. This narrowing at centre forms two oblique alcoves R. and L., behind which the extra little scenes are set. In alcove R. is a large case in which are old theatrical costumes and properties, among them a crimson gauntlet glove. Alcove L. can have a similar case, or only an old theatrical portrait. Downstage L. below alcove, is a small desk with telephone, light, inkstand, etc., and a chair to go with it. This desk need not be period. But all the other furniture should not be later than about 1840 as it may be used in the ghost scenes. Between pillars and back wall are entrances, including door down to stage L. that are not seen. On the back wall are portraits and old playbills, including the portraits mentioned in the text. The back wall must not be set too far back, as the White Hart banquet scene at the end of Act I must be set behind it; and centre portion of the back wall must be easily removable for this scene. Also on the back wall is a fairly large trick mirror – for Jenny’s final appearance in Act II. Small wooden chairs, same colour as panels, against back wall. Darkish stage-cloth covering the whole room.

  At rise, a cocktail party, given in order that the MAYOR and prominent citizens of Barton Spa should meet Cheveril’s Company, is just coming to an end. Upstage beyond pillar R. we see end of table with drinks and sandwiches on it, and WAITER and WAITRESS in attendance. As many persons as possible should be on the stage, representing Cheveil’s Company and Barton citizens. The MAYOR, a middle-aged shopkeeper type, is wearing his chain, etc. OTLEY, the manager of the theatre, a bustling, friendly fellow, is running the party. Prominent among Cheveril’s company are PAULINE FRASER, leading lady, a handsome actres
s in her forties; JAMES WHITEFOOT, a good-looking youngish leading man; and ALFRED LEATHERS, a distinguished old actor.

  The MAYOR is on his feet, prominently placed to make his speech, and the company are quieting down to hear him. He can clear his throat once or twice, but as soon as the curtain is nicely up and the scene is taken in by the audience, he begins. He can use any touch of dialect that comes naturally to the actor, but this must not be overdone.

  MAYOR: Ladies and gentlemen – in behalf of the Borough Council of Barton Spa, I ’ave very great pleasure in welcoming to our ancient borough the very talented actors and actresses who ’ave come with Mr. Cheveril from London – to give us ’ere in Barton Spa – the first performance of ’is new play – The – er – Glass Door.

  Some applause.

  We are looking forward very much to seeing this new piece before London sees it. And I’m sure Mr. Cheveril and ’is company will find ’ere as good an audience as they can ’ope to find anywhere – very keen an’ always ready for a good laugh.

  ‘Hear hear!’ and some laughter and applause.

  Now we people in Barton Spa are very proud of this old Theatre Royal of ours – which dates back nearly two ’undred year – and ’as been associated with some of the greatest actors an’ actresses of its time. We’ve spent a good deal of time and trouble – yes, and money – keeping this famous old theatre – including the old Green Room ’ere – in good shape, keeping every thing we could keep to remind us that this is one of the oldest theatres in the country. A lot of people think it’s the best outside London. We know it is.

  Some laughter and applause.

  Well, I ’ope you ladies and gentlemen who ’ave come to entertain us will accept out best wishes for the show, and that you’ll ’ave a very enjoyable stay so that you’ll want to come again.

  Applause, during which OTLEY whispers to the MAYOR. Then OTLEY addresses the company.

  OTLEY: Ladies and gentleman, as Mr. Cheveril has been delayed, I’m going to ask Miss Pauline Fraser, leading lady of The Glass Door company to reply on his behalf.

  Applause, and all turn and look expectantly at PAULINE, who is rather nervous but charming.

  PAULINE: Mr. Mayor – Ladies and Gentlemen – first I must apologise for the absence of Mr. Cheveril, and I know how sorry he’ll be that he’s missed this lovely party. All of us in the company do appreciate the privilege of playing in this beautiful old theatre of yours.

  ‘Hear, hear!’ and applause from the players.

  We’ve all often heard and read about the famous old Theatre Royal of Barton Spa – and of this old Green Room you’ve kept so wonderfully. It has a lovely atmosphere, even if at times it is a bit ghostly.

  Some laughter.

  Being here in the old place with a brand-new play – which we’ll have to rehearse again tonight – so I hope nobody’s had too many cocktails –

  Laughter.

  I say, being here makes me feel all over again what a marvellous thing the theatre is. Never as good as it was – always just about to die – but somehow always renewing its enchantment – always finding new life – perhaps just because it’s so warm and human, so foolish, and yet so glorious – as people themselves are. Yes, just because it’s really so close to the heart. That’s why we’re so glad and proud to be working for it. And why we’re so glad and proud to be here. Thank you very much.

  During the latter part of this speech a stage-hand enters L. and beckons importantly to OTLEY, who goes up to him, listens to what her has to whisper, then hastily goes out L.. During the applause at end of PAULINE’s speech, OTLEY re-enters L., obviously excited.

  OTLEY: (Rather excitedly.) Ladies and Gentlemen –

  There is silence, and they all look at him.

  Mr. Cheveril is here –

  A buzz of interest and excitement. OTLEY holds up his hand for silence, and looks serious.

  He had rather a nasty little accident down on the stage – but he’s recovered sufficiently now to say a few words –

  Some applause, during which OTLEY brings in MARTIN CHEVERIL. He is an attractive man in his late thirties, but at the moment is looking white and shaky and rather dazed. He speaks with some effort, and now and again put a hand to his head.

  PAULINE: (Going up to him – with concern.) Martin – what happened?

  MARTIN: It’s all right, Pauline. (With an obvious effort he faces the party.) Mr. Mayor – Ladies and Gentlemen, I was fortunate enough to overhear Miss Fraser’s very charming speech. And now I feel it is hardly necessary for me to apologise for not being here earlier, because Miss Fraser replied for us all so much better than I could have done. But I must explain that as I was looking at some furniture in the wings, on my way up here, one of the counter-weights suddenly took a dislike to me and knocked me out for about half an hour –

  A murmur of sympathy and concern.

  (Smiles, with an effort.) I can only hope that some of your old ghosts here don’t dislike authors…

  Some laughter.

  (Looking more serious.) I am not sure if I agree with what Miss Fraser has said about the theatre. I’m beginning to have serious doubts whether the theatre can renew its life and its old enchantments. The play we are opening here, The Glass Door, is a serious attempt to write about the world as it is and people as they actually are, which means that it may seem to some of you a grim and unpleasant affair, and not what you wanted. If so, please accept my regret in advance. (He concludes his speech with an obvious effort, but smiling.) And I can assure you, Mr. Mayor, that we do appreciate this fine old theatre, and the friendly welcome you have offered us. Thank you.

  There is some rather bewildered applause. Leaning a little on OTLEY, MARTIN goes across to be introduced to the MAYOR and MAYORESS, while the GUESTS begin to drift out, and the WAITER and WAITRESS begin to clear the table away. During speeches that follow, MARTIN, PAULINE, and OTLEY go off R.

  Exeunt MARTIN, PAULIN and OTLEY.

  Meanwhile, ALFRED LEATHERS and WHITEFOOT have come downstage.

  LEATHERS: (Confidentially.) Well, old boy, what do we do now?

  WHITEFOOT: (Same tone.) He looks very shaky. Probably ought to get to bed. He must have a dam’ narrow escape from being knocked out altogether.

  LEATHERS: I know. Saw it happen once. Still, he could make that speech.

  WHITEFOOT: And we agreed that we’d have to tackle him before tonight’s rehearsal. About our last chance.

  LEATHERS: Yes – but you heard what he said. Good as told them they wouldn’t like it, and that he didn’t care.

  WHITEFOOT: (Grinning.) Too late. The advance has almost sold us right out here.

  LEATHERS: (Impatiently.) Yes, old boy, I know. But I’m not thinking about here. I’m thinking about when we get to town.

  WHITEFOOT: Yes, yes, Alfred, we’re all thinking about town. And we’ll simply have to put it to him, as we agreed.

  LEATHERS: Well, you heard him. What are we going to say if he’s in this mood? Authors! I’ve had fifty years of ’em. And I know now why Shakespeare’s the best of the lot.

  WHITEFOOT: Why?

  LEATHERS: (Chuckling.) He’s dead.

  PAULINE now enters R. She joins them with a rather conspiratorial air.

  PAULINE: Martin was unconscious when that stage hand found him. They’ve sent for a doctor, but Martin insists on staying here. What are we going to do now?

  WHITEFOOT: We’ll have to put it to him. It’s our only chance, thought Alfred doesn’t give us much hope.

  LEATHERS: Well, my dear, you heard what he said to the Mayor and Corporation. Not very tactful, to say the least of it.

  PAULINE: I know. Though it must have been an awful effort to talk at all. I’m not sure – (She hesitates.)

  WHITEFOOT: Not sure about what?

  PAULINE: I’m not sure this is the best way of doing it, particularly now. I might do better by myself.

  LEATHERS: I think you might, my dear. You’re old friends, and the feminine touch might do i
t.

  PAULINE: But I want him to understand that we all feel the same. But if we’re obviously making no headway with him – I’ll give you a hint – and then you’d better leave him to me.

  WHITEFOOT: That’ll be easy, because we can go down to rehearse the first act, and there’s twenty minutes at least before we come to your entrance.

  PAULINE: Yes. And remember – don’t go back on what you said this morning. If necessary, tell him what you feel. It’s our only chance.

  MARTIN now enters slowly from R.. They break up and watch him.

  LEATHERS: How do you feel, old boy?

  MARTIN: (Carefully.) Not too bright, Alfred. I got a hell of a crack, and though nothing seems to be broken, I still ache a lot, and my head’s still singing. So I’ll sit down. (He does so.)

  PAULINE: Perhaps you oughtn’t to stay, Martin.

  MARTIN: No, I’ll be all right. There’s a doctor coming, and probably he can give me something to keep me going tonight. Then I can take it easy tomorrow all day. If you want to start on the first act, go ahead. I’ll be down later, after the doctor’s been. Don’t worry about me.

  He sees now that the three of them are not going, but are facing him with a deputation look about them. He looks from one to the other with a quizzical smile.

  MARTIN: I see. A deputation, eh?

  LEATHERS: (Rather apologetically.) Well yes, old boy, you could call it that.

  MARTIN: Go on, then. (As they hesitate.) It’s the third act, isn’t it?

  WHITEFOOT: We’ve all been feeling it for several days. But we pretended, even to each other, that it was all right.

  PAULINE: And after rehearsal this morning, we couldn’t keep it up any longer. (Vehemently.) Martin, we all hate that third act.

  LEATHERS: It’s true, old boy.

  MARTIN: (Not unpleasantly, but dryly.) Rather late to discover that, isn’t it? We open on Monday.