“I found some stuff. Why did you tell me his name was Tobias?”
“I was trying to get rid of you, Ty. I just wanted you to go away. That’s it. I would have told you if you asked. That’s different. You knew all along and if I find out you talked to my mom or Clay, I swear to God, I’ll never talk to you again.”
“T, I didn’t talk to anyone. I swear. Why did you name him Tobias? Why, Tristan?”
“I really did name him after you, and he really was supposed to be a she. I had a very reputable gypsy tell me so.”
“Why, Tristan?” I asked, not letting her stall with some gypsy story.
She let out a breath, followed by the truth. “You always make fun of me when I tell you stuff like this.”
I jerked back, giving her a frown sure I didn’t do that. Not outside my mind anyway. “What? I never make fun of you.”
“You make fun of me with your eyes. I see it.”
“Tell me.”
“She was wrong about me having a girl, but she did ask me who Tobias was. She went on and on about it, insistent on me knowing the name. Even when I vowed that I didn’t know a Tobias dead or alive, she claimed that I had to. And then…eleven days later. You know the rest.”
Whether I thought it was a fluke only mattered to me and I planned to keep it with me. “Destiny?”
“You’re making fun of me.”
I smiled, bumping her forehead with mine. “I’m not. He really does have my name?”
“Yes, I only said I named him after my dad to get rid of you.”
“Thank God that didn’t work. I have something to show you, but it’s not done yet. I was hoping to finish painting before you saw it, but your persistency and this rain ruined it for me. Before I show you though, it might be emotional for you.”
“You’re not talking about a painting you made for me, are you?”
“I did some painting and I made a lot of things, but no. No painting. I’m pretty sure it belonged to your dad. Shane.”
Tristan backed away with that, her head shaking back and forth and her spine once again straightening. “How do you know my dad’s name?”
At that time, I wasn’t sure how much I was going to disclose to her. I was too busy trying to balance my time with her and the work to let myself think about what the outcome might be. “Come on.”
With my heart in the pit of my stomach, I climbed down the ladder, my nerves on high alert. Under different circumstances, I would have been thrilled to have her ass in my face. This climb down was anything but delightful. I took her hand at the bottom, once again making her look at me, still unsure of what I should say and what I shouldn’t say. “I did this for you because you need it. I’m not saying I agree with this whole living out of your van thing. Especially raising a baby, but you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said yet, so…”
“That’s because I’m older.”
I smiled at her humor, always finding a bright side. Tristan hated confrontation. Hated it. With a passion. Straight up hated it. It was actually one of the things I loved most about her. Never worrying about some drawn out argument was a pleasant change. I turned the square-block lock and shoved the wedged door with my shoulder. “This is what I’ve been doing when I’m not with you.”
Tristan’s eyebrows dove to the bridge of her nose as we stepped through the door, a frown going from the tri-color van to me. “Is this my dad’s? Oh my, God. Is it, Ty? Where did you find it?”
“Here, it’s been in here since the accident.”
“You fixed it?”
“Yes, well, my dad did all the body work. He was supposed to paint it today, but the rain had other plans.”
Tristan’s fingers glided over the white hood, an expression I couldn’t read, showing in her eyes. “This is the van my dad wrecked in?”
I stared at her briefly, debating on how much I should tell her, an uneasy heaviness felt in the center of my chest. Shifting my eyes to the dirt floor, I stepped on a peanut shell I’d been eating the night before, crunching it below my shoe. “I don’t think he died in the van.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
“Can I show you the van first?”
“Is it bad?”
“I don’t know what to make of it, T. I don’t, and that’s not a lie. I feel extremely protected over you.”
“I want to know, Ty.”
“Okay, but can I show you the van first? It’s yours. We’ll sell yours and drive this one.”
Tristan twisted her lips to the side, her eyes moving up and to the opposite direction. “I don’t cry.”
I smiled and walked around to the side of the van, excitement for her to see it turning into anxious adrenaline. “Says the girl whipping tears from her eyes.”
“I hate you.”
“You love me. Check this out.”
Tristan’s hands went over her mouth, muffling a gasp. The two mama and baby whales I’d painted on the new floor looked like they were peeking into the van from a porthole. Those were real tears. “Whales,” she stifled from behind her hand.
“Come in here. Check it out.”
Tristan stepped up to the running board and sat with me on the sofa. “Oh my, God, Tobias. You did all this? Is that a baby bed?”
“Yes, and I found the old crib upstairs, hoping it had been yours and maybe your dad or someone who loved you painted the feathers.”
Tristan swiped another tear with the back of her fingers, her hand once again going over her mouth. “Someone did love me then. My mom painted them. She used to paint all the time. Ty, this is amazing. There’s so much room.”
“Stand up. Watch this,” I coxed unable to hide my smile. I knew she’d love it. I pulled out on the bed, making it twice the size, dropping the back of the sofa to the platform.
“Oh, my God. That’s so cool. I have a living room and a bedroom and Baby-T has a room,” she exclaimed while pulling the curtain, a hand painted ship in front of the moon coming between us.
“Check out the kitchen, I’m going to check on T-man. Look at all the storage and all the stuff that I got you.”
“Bring him down here. Where did you get the money, T?” she questioned, lifting the lid on a boxed in toilet. More seating when it was closed, painted black to match the distressed wood on the counter.
I’d spent quite a bit of time, meticulously placing the items where I thought they should go. A brand new two burner stove, a sink with real running water…even hot, a towel holder with a hand stitched whale, all in the small kitchen section of the van. It was all awesome if I had to say so myself, and I couldn’t wait to spend four whole days in it with her and Baby-T. Stoked beyond words.
Tristan was sitting on the sofa once again when I returned with Baby-T, wide-awake like I’d found him. “This is so much, Tobias. You still didn’t tell me where you got the money.”
“My video. I sold it, remember?”
“You spent it all on me?”
“Most of it. I still have enough to make sure we have gas money, and I spent a lot on this little guy. He’s got three feet to go before he outgrows his bed. And I shopped around. Nothing in here was made by a child or in a sweatshop. I checked.”
Tristan held on to Tobias’s little hand, but she didn’t take him from my lap when I sat beside her. “You just made me fall like a lot in love with you. A lot, a lot.”
I smiled, my lips meeting hers half way. “You’re welcome and you make me fall in love with you a lot, a lot, too. I can’t wait to take it on our first trip.”
Tristan took Tobias and moved him to his own bed in the back of the van, spinning my homemade, tropical fish, mobile with her fingers. “He likes it. You truly are an artist, Ty. I can’t believe you did all this. I mean, look at this ocean. I feel like it’s right over my head. Kind of like the dome.”
“The dome?”
“Nothing. Forget it. You’re not ready for that yet. There’s storage under Baby-T’s bed, too? Wow. You did awesome with the layout and it feels
so cozy and homey.”
“I think your dad has something to do with the comfort. I’ve always thought it felt homey in here.”
Tristan pointed out every little thing, noticing the tiniest of detail, even more zealous than I presumed she’d be. “What do you know, Ty? Tell me.”
I shrugged with a heavy sigh, pulling her to sit beside me. “I probably know about as much as you do, Tristan. Something shady happened with your dad, something that I’m pretty sure had to do with him talking; disclosing information that he wasn’t supposed to or something. I found a reporting/acting contract.”
“What’s that? My dad’s?”
“Yes. Shane Swan. That’s what threw me off. I suspected a couple times that you lived here and he was your dad, but the name kept me from thinking too much into it.”
“Sorry.”
I handed Tristan the small box of stuff I’d accumulated from the front seat, minus the tape of course. That one needed a little more time and it didn’t mean I was lying either. Not really. “It’s fine, here. This is what I found in the van. I don’t think there was really anything left in the house. Not according to my dad anyway.”
I spent the next hour with her legs thrown over mine, talking about her dad, the kind of man he was, and the truth. Tristan always knew without proof that something bad had happened to her dad, something shady that she could now prove. If she wanted to that is. “Thank you, Tobias. Thank you so much for doing this. All of it. I love you. I’ve loved you for thousands of years, and I plan on loving you for thousands more, every single lifetime.”
“That’s a lot and you’re welcome. At least you can have a little closure and you have evidence to show your mom. Maybe she’ll finally believe you.”
Tristan folded the papers in half, tucked them back inside the envelope, and handed them back to me. “Nah, she wouldn’t. I don’t need them. I got what I needed, I just—I still can’t believe it. I’m sitting here in his van. He bought this van to do what you just did, Ty. He wanted to make it more suitable so my mom and I could travel with him with his new reporting job. He wanted to take us to every national forest in America. Only it didn’t turn out that way.”
Tristan and I talked a lot that night, and I was sure she didn’t purposely keep anything from me. She told me stories about growing up with her mom and this douchebag, Clay. Tristan was somewhat of a genius. That’s why she was the youngest girl in her entire school, but the part that surprised me was the fact that she didn’t graduate. Not from high school and not from college, and honestly, I felt more proud of her for not doing it than if she had. It was the point she was making that counted, if only to herself. I’d never met anyone like her in all my life. If there was ever anyone who stood up for what they believed in, refused to be the same as everyone else, and led by example, it was her. Tristan Summer Swan.
We slept in the van that night, side doors open and Kota asleep right outside the door. Once we fell asleep that is. I’m pretty sure it was somewhere around two in the morning. Tobias slept in his own little bed, until he got hungry of course, and then he slept right between us. Like the filling that held an Oreo together, his little body sandwiched in the middle. The van was perfect, Tristan was perfect, my main man T was perfect, and life was more than okay. It was exceptional, and it was going somewhere. I wasn’t sure where, but I knew that it wasn’t somewhere I’d ever thought about going or with the persons I’d thought about going with. This unexpected bump in the road wasn’t even a bump and I could see that clearly now.
Whether it was fate or chance, I was grateful and even though I never believed in the whole love at first sight bullshit, I did believe I knew Tristan from before, from deep in my heart; Baby-T, too. We were all connected somehow and even I the skeptic couldn’t deny it. I was sure I really would die if I didn’t have them. I’d met a lot of people in my eighteen years and seven moves, but not one of them impacted me like her, like them. Some people complete you, some people change you, and some people make you. That’s what she did. Tristan made me something I wouldn’t have been without her. Tristan was the best thing that had ever been mine and I loved her with all my heart and soul.
Chapter Sixteen
“Tobias, Tobias. Wake up.”
My eyes opened in confusion, seeing Tristan and Baby-T still sound asleep. I could have sworn I heard my name.
“Tobias.”
My mom! Shit! Not only did I hear her, so did Tristan. We both sat up, both a little taken back unsure of what to say.
“What? What are you doing?”
“Me? What are you doing? Who’s your friend here? Something you want to tell me, Ty?”
I scooted from the bed, telling Tristan to stay with my eyes. After closing the side door, I walked to the barn door and slid it open. Pissed beyond belief. She was going to ruin everything. I knew she would.
“What do you want?”
“Who is that, Ty?”
“A friend. Don’t worry about it.”
“A friend? You have a girl and a baby in your bed and you’re going to tell me, a friend?”
“Yes. It’s none of your business.”
“Ha, none of my business? You’re my business, Tobias until you graduate school. You are my business. Is that your kid?”
The way she asked, the way she said, your kid, pissed me off and I didn’t even know why. I guess because she made him seem so useless, unimportant, and irrelevant. “You don’t want to do this, Mom. Just go. This is none of your business and you’re not going to make it yours. Leave me alone.”
“How old is that baby? Where’d she come from?”
“Are you deaf? Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t concern you.”
“Fine, I’ll go ask her.”
Of course I didn’t let her step around me. I blocked her path with one quick sweep of my feet, covering the barn doors. “No way. You’re not putting her in the middle of your hang-ups.”
My mom bounced her thumb off her chest like she had a right to be acting like a raving lunatic. “My hang-ups? My hang-ups? You have a girl and a baby in there, Ty. I don’t think I’m the one with the hang-ups here, and I want answers.”
“She’s my girlfriend, okay. Happy?”
“No. Where’d she come from?”
“From up there,” I pointed across the river, unable to see her van from where we stood. “I met her up there. She’s camping here.”
“With a baby alone? I don’t buy it.”
“And you never will. Can I go now?”
“No, Tobias. I don’t like this. I don’t want you hanging out with some trailer park trash with a baby in a van.”
I looked up to the sun bright with no sign of rain or dark clouds, took in a deep breath, and bit on my bottom lip, hard. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. “Don’t you ever say that again. She’s not trash. You’re the fucking trash. She would never raise her child like you did me. You have no right to judge anyone. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“I’m not doing this, Ty. I’m just going to go call your dad.”
“Fine. Go call him. I’ve got about the same amount of respect for him as I do you. Why can’t you just go live your shallow little life and leave mine alone? I’m so fucking sick of you telling me what I’m doing and making decisions for me. You’ve never cared before. Why now?”
“You have no idea how sick I am of you throwing your upbringing up in my face. Every time you get mad at me, I have to hear about what a horrible mom I’ve been to you. You didn’t have everything you ever wanted? I’ve always tried to make sure you got what everyone else had. You can’t say I didn’t.”
I couldn’t even. Not again. My voice lowered, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel the need to prove anymore points to her. She could take it all and shove it up her ass. “Fine, Mom. Thanks for the name-brand clothes and the video games. I appreciate it. I’m going to go take her home now, and after that I’m going to drive the van over to Dad’s garage. And before you try…there�
�s nothing you or anyone else can say or do to keep me away from her.”
With that, I walked away, closing the sliding door behind me. Of course Tristan had to be standing right there, wearing an expression that said she was ready to kill me.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. What the fuck is wrong with me? Take me back to my van.”
“T, I’m sorry. She’s been in here like three or four times.”
“Whatever, Ty. I want to go.”
I tried to make light of the situation, but she didn’t bend. “We can drive your new van now.”
Tristan made some sort of noise, a grumble from deep in her throat, matching the unbelievable expression on her face, but she didn’t speak. She got in with Baby-T, holding him on her lap while I opened the barn doors. Not one word.
“T, I’m sorry,” I apologized again, cranking the engine.
“For what, Ty? What are you apologizing for?”
Hmmm, I wasn’t sure how to answer that. Using the brief moment to think, I backed the van out of the barn. “My mom?”
“You said she didn’t come in there. I knew better. God, why do I keep doing stupid shit for you?”
“Because you love me?”
“This isn’t funny, Ty. I don’t like being put in the middle of your shit.”
“You’re not in the middle of anything, Tristan. It’s over. Can’t we just move on and have a nice trip? She’s not going to bother us. That would take too much effort on her part. We’re fine,” I assured her, my hand reaching for hers midair.
She didn’t take it. Instead she pretended like she didn’t even see my wiggling fingers, her eyes rolling and her head turning away from me. “I have to take the van to get the painting done. I’ll leave it with my dad and take his truck. I should be back in like an hour.”
“Fine.”
“T, come on. Don’t be like this. Please.”
“I don’t do this, Tobias. I didn’t do it before Baby-T, and I sure as hell don’t want in the middle of anything with him. I’m not doing it, Ty. I’m not.”
“Sometimes I wonder what you’re hiding from.”
Peace Love Resistance Page 22