She made that noise again where she couldn’t believe me or what I was saying. “Because you don’t listen to me. We just talked about what happened to my dad for over an hour last night. You don’t know these people. Clay Wise isn’t someone to cross. I lay low because I don’t want to be a part of that. My mom is Vanna Wise for Christ sake. You might not know how powerful they are and what Clay would do to keep their little charade going, but I do. I’m one hundred percent sure he either killed my dad or had him killed. I have Tobias now, Ty. I can’t let that happen again. I don’t need pissed off parents bringing unneeded attention my way, whether you get it or not.”
“You’re not Kim Kardashian, T. I doubt very seriously my mom will be calling channel eight news. People don’t know who you are, and I doubt very seriously if anyone is lurking around the corner to knock you off. Come on.”
“I can’t say another word without calling you names and reminding you of how stupid you are.”
Of course I didn’t let her go without somewhat putting this behind us. I hated it. She was right. Whether it was negative energy or just plain tension, I felt it, she felt it, and I didn’t like it. Forcing her to look at me, I kept her from walking around me. “I’m sorry, Tristan. I didn’t do it on purpose. She really doesn’t come in there. Once in a while if my dad’s there she will, but never at seven o’clock in the morning. I swear I wouldn’t put you in the middle of something I didn’t feel comfortable with. She’s harmless, T. Her bark is way worse than her bite. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“You make me crazy. My life was easy before you. Now it’s complicated as hell.”
“But we’re twin flames? There’s no thing, Tristan. My mom wouldn’t hurt a flea. She just likes to think she’s in charge. It’s fine. Over. Forgotten.”
Even though I still felt the resistance, she did lean into me. “I’m never staying with you there again.”
“I won’t ask you to. I’m going to go get this thing painted so we can get the hell out of here.”
“I’m ready.”
“Me too.”
“I’m sorry I got mad at you. It wasn’t your fault and I know you would never do anything to put either of us in harm’s way, but I’m probably always going to be looking over my shoulder. And whether or not you think I’m being paranoid isn’t my problem, it’s yours. Just don’t expect me to be in the middle of any of your shit. Got it?”
“Yes, but you’re worrying over nothing.”
“I have to, T. What did she say? What did you tell her?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing. I told her to mind her own business. Now I’m probably going to go hear the same shit from my father of the year, dad. We’re okay, right?”
That made her smile. The corner of her lip turned up and her eyes instantly changed, the light that I loved returning as she relaxed. Thank God. “Yes. We’re fine. Guess what I’m going to call her?”
“Call who?” I questioned with a confused frown.
“The van, silly.”
“Oh, call her?”
“Of course. She needs a name if she’s going to be part of our family.”
“Right, does your van have a name?”
“Duh, yes. Shamu. I’m calling her Shamu. It’s the perfect name, especially with the whole nautical theme, don’t you think? I love it, Tobias. I love it so much. Thank you.”
And just like that, Tristan wasn’t mad at me anymore. I loved that about her so much. “I know it’s crazy, Tristan, and I don’t understand it, but I love you. I love you so much that I can’t tell where I end and you start. I love you so much it hurts.”
I don’t know why it happened at that moment, but it did. Our lips met, but not for a kiss. Her hand touched my cheek and she moaned half coherent words in my mouth. “You’re making me insane. I love you, too, T, and I love that. I start where you end, and I love that you—.”
Right there. That moment. The sun made its way through the spaces in the branches and the thick leaves above our heads, warm heat instantly felt, but nowhere else. Cascading rays of sun searched for us, making their way through the dense trees to warm our souls. When we kissed it wasn’t like any other kiss. Maybe it was the sun, a magical potion flowing from where she started, thru Baby-T, and to where I ended. It was hungry, ravishingly starved, limitless, undying, and blissful. I hadn’t even left her yet and I missed her already.
“Jesus, get the hell out of here,” she ordered in a faint whisper to my lips only to be pulled back, our tongues once again tangling in a ray of light. It was like we couldn’t stop, like we were afraid to stop, troubled by letting go.
Pulling my lips from hers three more times, I panted, needing away from her yet needing to stay with her more. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
Tristan backed away with a smile, snuggling sleeping, Baby-T to her neck. “I’m just gonna pick up some sticks.”
God she was beautiful. Too beautiful to be cleaning up storm debris. “I’ll pick up the sticks.”
“Real women can do their own work,” she smirked, her pinky finger locking with mine, still trying to part.
“But real men don’t let them.”
“Get out of here, trouble.”
I kissed Baby-T on the head and tried to kiss his mommy. She wouldn’t let me. “What?” I frowned.
“I’m not doing that again. You won’t let me go.”
I laughed, kissing her cheek. “That’s because, one, you’re irresistible, and two, I think you might have that backwards. You’re the one who wouldn’t let me go.”
“Doubt it.”
“Want to try it again?”
“Yes. Lots of times. I could kiss you all day, but not now. You go take care of our tiny home. I’ll let you lose that bet later.”
We both backed away, creating more and more space between us, our eyes locked and smiles uncontrollable. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Even though Tristan helped me keep my anger intact, it only lasted long enough to start down the hill. I couldn’t believe she did that. My mom had to be the biggest bitch that ever walked. Had things been different, had she been the mom that read me stories and tucked me in at night, I might have been able to see her side. But I couldn’t. Not even a little. I didn’t have that mom. If my mom wasn’t in a bar, she was drinking at home. It was never just me and my mom so this sudden need to butt into my life just because she was bored was really starting to piss me off. She didn’t have the right.
Regardless of how much I wanted to drive across that bridge and right back to the house, I refrained. It would have done zero good. We would have the same argument, and I’d still be pissed. Dropping the van off and spending the day with Tristan and Baby-T without thinking about it was the better alternative. I surely didn’t want to spend the day with them thinking about it and being angry all day.
And yes, my dad had to jump in on the chaos. My mom called him. Of course she did. “How long you think you’ll have it?”
“I don’t think this trip is a good idea, Tobias.”
I rolled my eyes, not at what he thought was a good idea or not though. That annoyance came from him thinking he was going to tell me what to do. “Dad, don’t do this. I’m a grown ass man. I don’t need my daddy anymore. Are you going to do the painting or not? I leave in two days.”
“Who is this girl, Ty?”
“Her name is Tristan, and it’s none of your business either. I didn’t get a say in any of this shit. My personal life is none of yours or Mom’s concern. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time, and I sure as hell don’t need two parents who decide one day when I’m almost eighteen to be there.” I fired out, my eyes angrily piercing through his, matching the pissed off tone. No way. Not this day.
To my surprise, my dad’s eyebrows rose to the fluffy white clouds, his hands went into the air, and he surrendered. “You can drive it out of here tomorrow night.”
Catching me off guard, it took a second for me to registe
r what he’d just said. “Oh, yeah. Okay. See ya later.”
“Hey, Ty.”
I looked over my shoulder to my dad, trying to figure out his expression. “Yeah?”
“Be careful who you give your heart to. You’re not only giving them the power to love you, but you’re also giving them the power to hurt you, too.”
“Tristan wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m just saying, and give your mom a break. She’s trying to be there for you and so am I.”
“Give me my space. That’s all I want from either one of you. I mean, what do you expect?”
“I don’t expect anything, Ty. I know I wasn’t there for you and it’s my fault, not yours.”
“Yes, I’m aware. I’ve heard the phone conversations. You didn’t want me either.”
My dad took a deep breath and propped one work-boot to my new shiny bumper. “I can’t deny that, Tobias. I was eighteen when your mom got pregnant; she was sixteen. We were young and so not ready for you or that house. The cards very rarely fall in your favor, Ty, and the only thing you can do is play them to the best of your ability.”
Just when I was about to be a smartass and tell him he didn’t even play the hand he was dealt, he cut me off. “You didn’t—.”
“I folded, Ty. I didn’t even try. You were the most important card, and I let you slip right between my fingers. I’m sorry for that now, Tobias. I am.”
I looked down, unable to be a dick with his sincere, quiet tone. “Whatever, I’m good. I turned out just fine.”
“Your mom, too, Tobias. She wants to do what’s right by you.”
That did it. I turned jerk in two-point-seven-seconds, assuring him that I knew her better. “She only cares what’s best for her. She’s not going to stay with you. She won’t.”
My dad shrugged, his lips pursing with the exalted air, but he didn’t try to deny it, and it was almost like he knew. Like he was expecting it. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m going to go. I’ll see you later.”
“Ty.”
“God. What Dad?”
“Is the baby yours?”
“No, but if she gives me the chance, he will be. I’ll be the best daddy he could ever have. If she lets me. I will,” I assured him with great conviction and that wasn’t a lie.
“You’re too young. Go live your life first, Ty. Don’t make the same mistakes your mom and I made.”
“See, that’s where we’re different. This baby isn’t a mistake. This baby is embedded deep in my soul and I want to be around him all the time. You keep using this excuse about being young parents and I bought it for a long time. Now I know it’s a copout. A lie. You use it as an excuse for not being there. You both do.”
My dad stared at me briefly, his hands sliding into his jean pockets. “It’s the only one I’ve got.”
I never was one for expressing my feelings and I wanted to be done; I probably got that from him, too. “Can I go now?”
“Sure, we good?”
Whatever…“We’re fine.”
I spent the entire day with Tristan and Baby-T. Quite possibly the best day of my life. It was a day that would no doubt go down in history as one of my favorites. Tristan decided she was strong and well enough to get back to her yoga, and she decided that I needed to learn it, too. Well, I sucked at it. My long, lanky body wasn’t as graceful as hers. Needless to say, I lost a bet. An hour-long massage that I was so looking forward to. My feet were planted on a skateboard for the past four years, and there was zero worry of losing. The thing is…balancing on a board is way different than balancing with yoga. Of course we laughed at my expense, a lot.
My dad was wrong. Tristan did have the power over my heart, but I never worried about her having the power to shatter it. This was beyond a human relationship; this really was a spiritual agreement we had from way back when. It had to be. There was no other explanation for it. None whatsoever. Even when the hurdles came up, the bond still stuck. There was no way I could quit her. Ever. She was me, I was her, and we were one. Tristan never left me. Even when we were away from each other, she was there; prominent in the front of my mind, embedded in my heart and connected to my soul. Tristan made me push buttons that I never knew were there, she made me push limits that I never knew existed before, and she made me push myself. A paradigm shift that I never saw coming. It all sounds like such a complicated love affair, but it really wasn’t. It was simple.
We worked like a key and a lock. Of course she was the key and I was the lock. I was also much more than a popular latchkey kid from Cali when I was with her. She was my best friend and there was no undoing what had been done. Not only would unraveling us destroy me, it would her, too. I knew it would, I intuitively sensed it, and I felt it. It burned deep in my soul and bound us together forever, through as many lives as she would have me. Eternity times infinity, times ten more.
And yes…As expected, my mom wasn’t happy unless she was meddling. Without telling the same story over, we argued about what we always argued about. Once again, I threw it up in her face about how she was too busy trying to be a teenager her whole life to worry about me. She reminded me of all the stuff she’d bought me; I reminded her that I never asked for it. She assured me that she wasn’t letting me ruin my life like she did; I reminded her that it wasn’t her life to ruin. She was certain this girl was trying to trap me, I was certain that my mom was the one holding the deception.
Once my dad got involved, I bailed. Besides, I’d already heard this fight, too. My mom screamed the same words to him that I’d already heard a time or a thousand, too. She couldn’t believe he was just going to let me go spend the weekend with some girl with a baby. Him of all people should understand that again, throwing up their young parental status. That one was actually becoming a bit monotonous and I didn’t buy it. I wasn’t even eighteen yet, and I knew I would never let Baby-T feel like he was in the way. Ever in a million years. Tristan wouldn’t either, and this bullshit excuse about being too young was just that. An excuse. They had choices; they chose the wrong ones. Not my problem.
I spent the next couple days with my two favorite people, avoiding my parents, and taking care of last minute trip details, ready to get on the road. Just us three. Her, me, and Baby-T.
Chapter Seventeen
To say I didn’t sleep a wink the night before we left would be an understatement, but not only for me. I didn’t even leave her until nine at night, and that was only because I knew the van was back and I wanted to get it loaded with the food Tristan and I had picked up. One good thing about shopping with Tristan, we didn’t really need a fridge. A simple cooler sufficed just fine. Everything she ate was made by the earth; not in a factory. Believe me, she reminded me often.
“Hey, can we talk?”
My eyes rolled and I took in an exasperated breath. Just hearing her voice made me cringe. Continuing to pack up the back of the van, I half paid attention. “What, Mom? I’m not arguing with you about this anymore.”
“Ty, don’t you see why this upsets me so much? I had you when I was sixteen. I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t a good idea. Please listen to me.”
“You’ve already said that and I heard you loud and clear the first time.”
“At least tell me about her. Where the hell did she come from? How do you know her?”
“I met her in town,” I replied, not telling the whole truth. We did meet in town. Sort of. I saw her at the light before I came to her rescue and delivered her baby, but there was no way I was disclosing information to my mom.
Not that I needed or was waiting for her permission, she gave it to me anyway. She leaned her elbows against an old wooden barrel, long neck bottle in hand, and lit a cigarette between her fingers. “I just want better for you than what your dad and I had, Ty. Can’t you understand that?”
“Do you have to smoke that in here?”
“What? It’s a barn.”
I almost said, and my house, but r
efrained. That would just make it another long conversation that I didn’t want to hear. “How can you know what is best for me? Just because you didn’t want a baby, doesn’t mean I don’t.”
“Tobias, you’re not thinking straight. You’re letting a strange piece of pu—.”
“Don’t, Mom.”
“Well, it’s the truth. Sex will destroy a logical mind in two-point-seven-seconds. I know what I’m talking about, Tobias. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. I want to see you go to college, go to art school or something. You’re very talented, Ty. Don’t waste it on a—.”
“On a little boy?”
“You’re impossible to even talk to.”
“That’s because I’m sick of this shit. I mean, come on, Mom. You’ve never given a shit about what I’m doing until now. You seem to have caught amnesia and can’t remember all the times I just did my own thing. You’d shit your pants if you knew some of things I’ve done.”
“Like what? Drugs?”
“No, not drugs, but even if it was, I had a good teacher. Kids aren’t as stupid as you think they are.”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Ty.”
Of course she didn’t. Not when the spotlight was on her. Why would she want to talk about the time she slapped me across the face because I asked for something to eat. She was high on something, or coming down I should say. Even at nine, I learned the difference pretty fast. Luckily that phase only lasted until she got rid of Eddie or he got rid of her more like it.
“I’m not arguing, but I am going to figure this out on my own.”
“And I’m going to let you because your dad thinks I should, not me.”
“Great.”
“I want to be able to get a hold of you at any time. Make sure your phone is charged.”
That got an eye roll. She had no idea where I was half the time in Cali, yet here where there was nothing to get into but the woods, she wanted to be a mom. Go figure. “I’ll be in the mountains. You never checked up before.”
“You weren’t sleeping with women with babies either.”
Peace Love Resistance Page 23