Defenseless Hearts (A Tender Hearts Novel Book 2)

by Meagan Brandy

  She doesn’t look at anyone, doesn’t lock eyes with her brother, who is desperately trying to get her to. She pauses beside Deaton, who holds Payton in his arms. “Time to go, Deaton,” she whispers and steps for the door.

  I glance at Lolli when I see her legs shift, and Nate’s arms quickly lock around her waist.

  Deaton sighs and ignores all our presence, turning to Payton, who is already crying.

  “We didn’t get a chance to talk,” she whispers, placing her hands on his chest. “Deaton, I—”

  “Shh, baby. It’ll be okay.” He cradles her face. “I know you’re afraid, but I know we can do this. I promise you, Payton. We talked about getting away, starting a family later anyway. Now, we just get to do it sooner.”

  She cries but says nothing, and he drops his forehead to hers.

  “Just you wait, baby. This is only the beginning.” He rubs her belly, and her hand comes down to cover his. “I love you both. I’ll take care of everything.”

  She nods, pulling him into a tight hug.

  I lower onto the ottoman, staring at her back as she fights to keep her gaze on the floor.

  The second Deaton steps back, Payton spins and runs down the hall. He looks from Kenra to the rest of us and shakes his head. He steps behind her. The second her wrist starts to turn, so she can pull the door open, Lolli yanks free of Nate’s grip and hops to her feet, as expected.

  “Kalani,” Nate warns her to stay out of it, but knows just as well she won’t.

  Her tight glare flies to mine right as they step out the door, closing it behind them.

  I drop my face into my hands with a deep sigh.

  I knew this would happen. It always does.

  I give Kenra everything I have, and she carries it with her on the way back to him.

  I belong to her, but she doesn’t wanna belong to me.

  When Lolli’s feet come into view, I drop my hands and look up at her.

  “Don’t ask me not to go out there because I have to.”

  “Just leave it, Lolli.” I grab her hand and lightly squeeze. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” She crouches down in front of me. Her beautiful face is pained for me. Blue eyes clouded with emotions she’s trying to hold in. My best friend’s grown into a bit of a sap.

  She reaches out but pulls her hand back at the last second. I know what she’s gonna say. It makes sense. She wants to ease this moment a bit for Nate.

  “That night in Mexico, when shit blew up in my face, you said to me, ‘He doesn’t get to do this to you.’ I heard you. Hear me, Hero. She does not get to do this to you.”

  I stare at my friend, my face softening. “I invite it, Lolli Bear. It’s just as much my fault.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I love her. Always have and always will. Can’t shake her. As long as she comes back, I’ll be here.”

  “You deserve better.” Her nose turns red as she fights tears.

  I give her a sad smile. “I know that now. You helped me see that I should be enough. But I’m not when it comes to her, so nothing changes. I know my worth. She comes and goes, but my feelings for her stay. I can’t help it.”

  “I hate it,” she whispers, tears evident now.

  “Me, too, Lolli. Me, too.”

  We stand there, listening to the car out front peel from the curb with a loud squeal, leaving hope in my sister’s heart that everything will work out and a burning hole in mine knowing it won’t.

  I’ll never forget the look on Parker’s face the moment he realized I was leaving.

  There was no anger in his blue eyes, only defeat.

  For years now, I’ve done nothing but break down his walls, tear away his hope, and I finally succeeded at destroying his defenses.

  “I swear to fucking God, Kenra, you have pushed it for the last time. I didn’t think you were so stupid, but something had me driving over to his house that next morning. And, sure enough, you were already gone.”

  “I needed to get him to go back home first. I was planning on leaving tonight.”

  “Don’t fucking lie!” Kellan booms, cutting me a quick glare.

  “I’m not,” I snap. “You think I wanted you to show up there like that? I could have left quietly with no damn drama when everyone was asleep. My car is there after all.”

  “I already have someone picking up the car. And, speaking of asleep”—his eyes slice to mine and then back to the road—“where’d you sleep last night, Kenra?”

  I meet Deaton’s stare in the side mirror, and he gives a subtle shake of his head, telling me not to do it. He knows as well as I do that nothing good will come of it. But I have nothing to lose anymore.

  I’ve lost the only thing I ever wanted, and the man beside me is the reason, so I steel my back and even out my voice as I reply calmly, “In his bed.”

  Kellan’s hands tighten around the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. “And where did he sleep?”

  “Beside me.”

  Kellan snaps his eyes to me and bares his teeth. “Did you let him fuck you?”

  “You guys,” Deaton warns, “stop.”

  I don’t know why, but I lift my chin and seethe back, “I begged him to.”

  “Kellan,” Deaton stresses, but it’s too late.

  Kellan growls and yanks the wheel right, trying to catch the exit at the last second, but his speed is too high, and it’s dark out, so he doesn’t see the break in gravel between the road and the ramp. The car jerks.

  Kellan loses control and the car flips.

  I think I hear our own screams, the crush of metal as we come down hard on the driver’s side and then tumble once more.

  Blue eyes are all I see before everything goes black.

  When my mom told me she hated me, it hurt. I knew we didn’t have the same type of relationship most other kids had with their parents. I knew I could hardly stand her as much as she seemed to only tolerate me, but to hear her flat-out admit she hated me still hurt.

  Then, when my dad woke up one morning and stopped speaking to me, stopped even looking at me, that hurt worse.

  Next, my sister was taken from me and then the hope of a future outside of Alrick if I didn’t play by my mother’s rules.

  All those things sucked. But nothing compares to the crushing feeling of Kenra walking away.

  She finally said it, told me she wanted me.

  Gave herself to me.

  Only she didn’t. She basically loaned me her body. I’ll never forget it but wish desperately I could.

  It’d be better to never have had that piece of her than to know she’ll be sharing it with him again.

  Lolli sighs from her place on her swing.

  I came out here about an hour ago, and she was right behind me. I lie in my hammock as she rocks in her swing, the ocean breeze the force behind our sway.

  It’s black out besides the shine of the moon. It’s got to be after two in the morning now.

  Footsteps in the sand behind us have our gazes looking that way.

  Nate tips his chin, offering me a water bottle, which I take with a nod, and he turns to hand Lolli a hot cup of coffee. She smiles up at him as he tucks her hair behind her ear. He pauses there a moment before heading back for the house.

  “I slept with her,” I admit quietly.

  She drops her head against the white wood, turning to look at me. “I know, Hero.”

  “I’m not. A hero. I couldn’t save her. She wanted to be saved. Maybe not in the true sense of the word, but …” I think of her scars, both the ones on her skin and the ones that run much deeper. “From herself.”

  Lolli doesn’t say anything, just stares straight ahead, clenching her warm mug between her little hands.

  “Lolli Bear, tell me what you’re thinkin’.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m thinkin’ I hate her. I kinda wanna kick her ass right now.”

  Despite the fucked up situation, I laug
h lightly, and she gives a small grin.

  “But …” I coax, knowing she’s got more to say.

  She nods, swallowing. “But I kinda think there’s more going on here. Something’s not right.”

  When her phone vibrates, she pulls it from her sweater pocket and frowns at the screen before meeting my gaze. “It’s Al.”

  I sit up. “What time is it?”

  She looks to her phone again. “Two fifteen.”

  “Answer it.”

  Her face pinches as she answers, putting the call on speaker, “Hey, Al.”

  “Hey, young one, did I wake you?”

  “No, I’m up, but why are you, old man?” she teases, trying to calm herself, but I see her anxiety starting to kick in.

  He gives a light chuckle, and she glances my way. “Listen, I need to meet with you, preferably in the next few hours.”

  “Is this about what I asked you to do for me, Al?” Lolli asks, cutting her eyes to mine.

  My gaze narrows in question.

  “Actually, I’m glad you mentioned that. No, this is something different, but I have everything you wanted ready to go. I’ll bring it with me.”

  “Okay …”

  “Listen, you and I might want to speak privately before we have a group meeting between the three of us.”

  Lolli is already shaking her head as he speaks even though he can’t see her. “That won’t be necessary, Al. He’s family. In all around.”

  “Yes, young one,” he answers quietly. “Whatever you want. I have to look into a thing or two right quick, but then I’m heading your way.”

  “Sounds good, Al.”

  Lolli hangs up and stares at me.

  “What was that about?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “What’d you ask him to do for you?”

  “It’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I had him draft papers for—”

  “Yo! You guys need to get up here! Now!” Brady shouts from the distance.

  Lolli and I look to each other, both jumping up and dashing for the house.

  We run up the steps and past a crying Cam and Ari, finding Mason pacing and a wide-eyed Payton.

  “What the fuck?” Lolli mutters, spinning all around until she sees Nate in the corner, his phone to his ear, hand over his mouth.

  He spots her, and they rush for each other. He pulls her against him.

  “Okay.” He nods, speaking into the line, “I love you, Dad. And tell Mom to …” His eyes squeeze closed. “Just tell her I love her, and I’ll see you guys there.” He hangs up, and everyone wants to hear what he’s about to say.

  He glances from Lolli to Payton and then to me. “There’s been an accident.”

  The three-hour drive to the hospital is the loudest silence I’ve ever heard, deafeningly so. We’ve gotten not a word from anyone. The only thing we were told was, “Get here,” and it took a damn hour to get on the road.

  Everyone was in a panic until both Brady and Chase took charge and evened us out enough to get us in the vehicles. So, it’s Brady and Payton up front with me, Lolli, and Nate in the backseat. Chase is following behind us with Ari, Cameron, and Mason.

  As soon as the half-mile mark for the hospital is seen, everyone starts to shift in their seats. Lolli closes her eyes and drops her head back, her hand sliding into Nate’s.

  Brady pulls right up front and allows us to hop out, Chase doing the same with the others, before they move to find a place to park.

  “Come on, you guys, hurry!” Ari yells.

  Everyone starts jogging toward the entrance, but when Lolli yanks her hand from Nate’s, he whips around with a frown, and I pause to glance back.

  Her eyes are wide as she stares at the large glass building, her complexion growing paler by the second.

  “Baby”—Nate goes to grab her hand, and she pulls back—“come on. We—” He cuts off, and my eyes fly to his. “Fuck,” he whispers and steps into her, wrapping his arms around her.

  My legs bounce to keep going, my eyes cutting to the building and then to her.

  “Go,” she tells me, and I start walking backward. She turns to Nate. “You, too. It’s okay. I just … can’t.”

  “I’m not leaving you out here.”

  “I’ve got her.” Brady runs up with Chase, wrapping an arm around her.

  Nate frowns but nods and catches up to me. Together, we run inside.

  The others are waving us down at the end of the hall, so we rush to catch the elevators with them.

  “They wouldn’t tell us anything at the desk. Just said to go up to the fourth floor,” Cameron tells us.

  “Fourth floor is ICU.” Mason meets Nate’s stare and then shifts to comfort his sister.

  I put my hand on Payton’s shoulder, but she pulls away.

  “Where’s Lolli?” Ari asks Nate.

  “Out front with the guys. She’s … this is where her grandpa died. Where they brought her parents’ bodies after the crash. She hasn’t been back here since.” He growls and kicks the side of the elevator.

  “Hey, whoa, bro. Chill.” Mason puts a hand on his shoulder.

  “I should be out there with her,” he rumbles, pissed at the world but directing it at Mason.

  “Nah, man. She’s a good woman. She’d kick your ass if you stayed out there. Your mama needs ya.”

  The doors open, and everyone fights to get out, rushing to the end of the hall where we find Mrs. Monroe already waiting with a few other women.

  “Mom!” Nate shouts.

  “Mom?” Ari calls out.

  The women turn, and Sara rushes for Nate, who wraps her in a hug. She starts crying uncontrollably, and my body locks tight.

  Payton’s hand shoots out to grab my wrist.

  The others walk over to the other women—all the other moms I’m assuming.

  Nate grabs his mom by the shoulders and pulls her back to look at her. “Ma?”

  Tears fall from her eyes, and she shakes her head. “They said they lost control of the car, flipped it into a ditch.”

  “No,” I breathe, and Payton’s nails dig into my skin. “She’s …” I step forward, and Sara looks to me, her brows dipping just slightly.

  “Mom!” Nate shouts. “Is Kenra okay?”

  “Yes, sweetheart,” she whispers, reaching up to cup his cheek. “She’s okay.” Her eyes slide to mine and back. “But we’re not in the clear yet. She’s unconscious. They’re running tests.”

  I blow out a harsh breath, turning away from everyone as I squeeze my eyes shut. Pushing my palms into my eye sockets to keep myself in check.

  She has to be okay …

  A tingling starts at my toes and spreads through my body, and my skin grows warm and clammy. This is a different feeling, not like her walking away.

  Her leaving is one thing; her being gone is another.

  “You!” someone shouts.

  I spin around, and all our eyes snap to the privacy door that has just opened to find a polished woman pressed in a white pantsuit, rushing our way.

  Her heels clink across the floor as she pushes her way between us.

  “Excuse me, miss. I—” Mason is cut off when the woman’s hand rises, and she shocks us all when she slaps my sister right across her face.

  Everyone starts screaming and yelling. Nate moves to restrain the woman while I pull Payton beside me, and Mason steps forward to block her.

  They’re still arguing, but I look to Payton to make sure she’s all right. A single glance tells me she’s not. Her face is void. No tears, no anger or shock. No nothing.

  She stumbles then, and I catch her as her back hits the wall.

  “Payton?” I call wearily.

  Her eyes lift slowly, but they don’t connect with any of ours. They slide right past us, landing on the solid white doors with big red letters.

  She stares at the ICU entrance, and her muscles go slack.

  “Payton!” I drop with her, easing her fall as her feet slide until her ass meets
the hard floor. Mason’s at her other side in a flash. “Payton, talk to me.”

  Her lids close, her hand moving to cover her stomach, and it hits me.

  My head snaps to the woman, eyes narrowing in recognition.

  No …

  She glares down her nose at Payton, her eyes wild but free of tears. “This is all your fault, little girl. Every time you think of my son, remember that. I told you, you didn’t deserve him. This must be the world’s way of proving me right.”

  “Whoa, what the fuck, lady?” Mason hops up, and his mother instantly scolds him. “Uh-uh. No way, Mama. This lady just—”

  “This lady just lost her son, Mason,” his mother whispers quietly.

  At that, Payton’s body goes limp, her hand flopping to hit the cool ground as her chin hits her chest.

  “Peep.” I bend to look at her face, brushing her hair from her eyes, but she won’t look at me.

  The elevator doors burst open, and in run Brady and Chase.

  “What the hell?” Chase drops beside Payton, lifting her face to look at him.

  I hear Nate ask where Lolli is, but I can’t look away from my broken baby sister.

  My chest grows heavy, and I swallow. “Can you, uh, get her out of here, will ya?”

  Chase gives a curt nod, lifting her in his arms.

  His mom steps forward, placing a hand on his back in support.

  “Hi, Mama.”

  “Hey, baby,” she speaks low. “There’s a small room down the hall for families; there’s a couch in there.”

  Again, Chase nods and then glances at Ari, who offers him a sad smile, and starts down the hall.

  Right then, a familiar voice grates in my ear, and the hairs at my neck stand.

  “That won’t be necessary.”

  I spin, eyes wide until they land on her. Her smirk grows as my gaze narrows. No remorse, no comfort for her daughter is found in her blue eyes. If it wasn’t so disgusting to realize, I’d say I might see joy in them.

  “Get the hell out of here, both of you!” Mrs. Vermont screams.

  My mother rolls her eyes. “Please, Miranda, give it a rest. I only came to collect my daughter. I couldn’t care less what happens to your boys.”

  “You bitch!” Miranda shrieks.