The Four Stages of Loving Dutch Owen

by Debra Kayn

  "Sounds good. I'm hungry." He stepped inside the house and pointed to the floor.

  She dropped the duffle and then hugged his middle. "I'm so glad you're staying tonight."

  It was different when Dutch was around. She'd rather spend time with him than with any of her friends. Alyssa couldn't understand why she would want to hang with someone old enough to be her parent, but Dutch never seemed old, like Rachel and Skull.

  In the kitchen, Rachel set the last plate on the table. "Make sure you put all the dishes in the dishwasher when you're finished, and put any extra meat in the fridge. Skull can eat what's left when he gets home."

  "I will."

  Dutch sat down at the table. "Where are you going?"

  "The girls and I are getting together. We'll stay at the clubhouse since we all plan to drink." Rachel walked to the other side of the table. "I'll be back in the morning."

  Dutch cocked his head. "You won't be here tonight?"

  "We planned this two months ago. It's for Diana. She's getting married next weekend. Skull was going to stay home with Marla, but as you know, WAKOM called him away. Now you can watch over Marla and make sure no boys come over, and she doesn't sneak out of the house."

  "Seriously? Like, you think I'll leave with Dutch here." She rolled her eyes. "Apparently, I'm the only sixteen-year-old in the world who has to have a babysitter."

  "Because you're sixteen going on thirty." Rachel leaned down and kissed the top of Marla's head. "Don't stay up late. You have to be at work tomorrow at noon."

  "I know." Marla picked up a tortilla shell. "Have fun."

  "Okay, if you guys need anything, call the clubhouse." Rachel walked out of the kitchen.

  She added a spoonful of meat, cheese, lettuce and added some salsa in the middle of the shell. Biting into the taco, she sighed in pleasure. She hadn't eaten all day in her excitement for Dutch to arrive.

  The front door shut. She looked over at Dutch and caught him staring at her.

  She quickly smiled and wiped her mouth. "What?"

  "Does this happen a lot?"

  "What?"

  "Rachel leaving you home alone all night?"

  "Only once before, and it was because I was grounded." At his continual frown, she said, "Geez, not you, too. I'm old enough to stay on my own."

  He blinked and grabbed the makings for a taco. "I didn't know I was going to babysit."

  "Funny. Ha. Ha." She finished her last bite while he ate and made herself another one.

  They finished the meal in silence. She forced herself to eat more than normal because everyone was always telling her she was too skinny. But at five-feet, two-inches, she was shorter than everyone else. Of course, she was going to be smaller.

  As she cleaned the table and loaded the dishwasher, she said, "What do you want to do?"

  "What do you usually do?"

  She shrugged, picking up the bowl of extra seasoned meat. "Listen to music or watch movies."

  He walked out of the room. She quickly wiped down the counters, knowing all her chores were finished and she wouldn't have to do anything else for the rest of the night but be with Dutch.

  In the living room, Dutch aimed the remote control at the television. Stretched out on the couch, he made the house seem like a home, unlike how she'd felt for the past six years, feeling like a charity case and not fulfilling Rachel's dreams for the perfect daughter.

  She squeezed between his body and the back of the couch, flopping her arm over his stomach and resting her head on his chest.

  Inhaling deeply, she wiggled to get comfortable. "What are you watching?"

  His free arm went down her back, and he used his blunt fingernails to tickle her lower back. "Die Hard is on. Have you seen it?"

  "No."

  He placed the remote on his stomach. She watched the television, not really into action-type movies, but she'd watch anything with him.

  If she closed her eyes, she could pretend they lived together, and every night, they snuggled on the couch—watching whatever was on tv. She wouldn't even mind making dinners for him or doing his laundry.

  "Who does your laundry when you're on the road?" she asked.

  His hand stopped moving on her, then started strumming again. "No one. I drop everything that got dirty at whichever clubhouse I'm staying at, and the women there do it."

  The thought of another woman holding his clothes made her jealous. It was something that she'd never done for him before.

  "I'll do your clothes when you're here."

  His chest vibrated underneath her cheek. "You hate doing the dishes. Why would you want to do my laundry?"

  She shrugged. Only one shoulder moved because the other one was trapped underneath her. "Because it's your clothes."

  "You're a good kid." Dutch's raspy voice warmed her as his fingers drew slow circles on her lower back.

  She smiled, closing her eyes. Dutch was the best thing in her life.

  She often forgot that she had lived a completely different life with a single mother and was left alone a lot. Even when Dutch was on the road, he always came back. Now that she had a phone, she was in constant contact, talking as long as she wanted—he never tried to cut the call short.

  Sometimes, he'd even let her talk until she fell asleep.

  MARLA MARIE WHIMPERED, moving her knee higher on Dutch's body. He stretched his ankles. His boots restricted his movement.

  She'd thrown her leg over him during the night, waking him up. Dead tired, he'd only dozed since she'd fallen asleep on him.

  TV had sucked after midnight when the only thing to watch was some cheap-ass vanilla porn on cable, making him more miserable.

  His cock throbbed with a stiff one he couldn't shake with little Miss Marla Marie making all kinds of moans and cries while rubbing herself on him.

  He needed to get up and hit the road. Due to arrive in Spokane tonight, he still needed to check in with Woody.

  Lifting his head up, he kissed the top of Marla Marie's head. "Wake up."

  "Mm..." She shifted, moving on top of him, straddling his hips until the heat of her pressed down on his cock.

  He closed his eyes in sweet torture. Unable to take much more, he slapped her ass.

  She startled awake and blinked rapidly, looking at him. Her lips curled upward before slightly parting. Her pelvis ground against him, and her eyelids fluttered before she let her head fall back to his chest.

  She raised her arms, tangling her hands in his hair as her hips slowly rose and fell, rubbing herself on the front of his jeans in her drowsiness.

  He could smell the sweet scent of sleep on her and got the warmth of her body against his. None of that helped shake his morning hard-on.

  He stretched. "Wake up."

  She whined in protest, arching her back, pressing her breasts against his chest. Pushed too far, knowing she could hear him, he rolled her on the couch and pressed his cock against her pussy.

  "Don't start what you can't finish," he said on a growl, enjoying having her under him more than he wanted to admit.

  She hooked her feet behind his calves and cupped his cheeks with her hands before she opened her eyes. "I'm old enough to have sex."

  Jesus. H. Christ.

  He pushed up, and she held on, taking him back down on her. "You don't know what you're doing."

  "Why don't we ever kiss?" She traced his lips with her finger. "Kiss me. Kiss me like you do other women."

  His cock pulsed. Her words played in circles in his head, and he couldn't make himself get off her.

  Her legs tightened around his, and her hips pressed forward. "Do you feel that, too?" she whispered.

  He licked his lips. Fuck him, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "Feel what?"

  "Between my legs." She swallowed. "It's all fluttery. Is this what it feels like to have an orgasm?"

  "You know what an orgasm is?"

  "Duh." She laughed softly, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. The soft flesh slid against her
pearly whites, and she said, "I just haven't had one yet. It's so hard to do."

  "Have you tried?" He groaned, the question coming out of his mouth without a thought.

  She nodded. His muscles tensed, wanting to kill the boy who'd taught her about pleasure.

  "Amber, Alyssa's older sister, said I have to keep touching myself." Her eyelids closed before she gazed at him again. "Down there." She exhaled softly. "I'm supposed to...touch myself until I find something that makes me feel good." She breathed harder. "But rubbing against you feels better to me." She inhaled swiftly. "Your dick is hard. Do you like it, too?"

  His temple throbbed. She was too young for him to show her how good it felt for both of them. He'd hurt her, not only physically, but ruin her damn life.

  He lowered his head and captured her lips, prepared to scare her enough to stop her from experimenting with him and her tongue swept across his, stopping him from pulling away.

  Grinding against her, he let her deepen the kiss—something someone else had taught her. He wanted to push that memory out of her fucking head and replace it with him.

  She belonged to him.

  He sucked, licked, opened her up wider. She lowered her hands, grabbing on to his belt at his sides, pulling him harder against her as her slim hips moved more frantically.

  Propped up on his elbows, he held her head, owning her mouth. Taking the sweetness like a drunk tasting his first sip after a dry spell.

  She took his lower lip into her mouth. His cock pulsed. He'd always been the one who went for a woman's bottom lip, and the change left his balls aching.

  She moaned, throwing her head back. He caught sight of her eyes before her lids fluttered, nearly closing. He recognized what was happening and brought his cock down on her. Only her shorts and his jeans kept him from fucking her.

  The harder pressure was enough for the pleasure she sought to take hold of her. Her breathing stopped, and for a second, he waited for her next breath, afraid he'd taken her too far.

  She moaned as her whole body tightened like a vise around him. All he could do was stare in fascination, swept up in the beauty she was experiencing. He had no time to wish he was right there with her, getting his nut off.

  It was enough that her first time experiencing the results of what her body could provide her was with him. That no one else could take that from him.

  When her body came down and went limp, she opened her eyes. An electric connection between them shook through his body as if he was deep inside of her, despite his cock still in his jeans, pounding hard.

  He smoothed the hair off her face. Everyone who looked at Marla Marie saw a pretty teenager, a bit wild and untouchable. A girl who held everyone an arm-length away to protect herself.

  But, in her, he'd seen the heart of his soul. The one he never thought he had.

  "I...I think it happened. That was an orgasm, right?" she whispered.

  He couldn't move. "Don't give that to anyone but me."

  Her heart beat wildly against him. "Can I do that by myself?"

  His chest seized, and he exhaled harshly. "Yeah, knock yourself out."

  A smile blossomed on her face at the same time a door opened in the house. He pushed off her, sliding his hand in his jeans and shoving his hard cock to the side.

  Rachel walked into the room and tossed her purse onto the chair. "You're awake already?"

  His sister took in Marla Marie's disheveled appearance, sprawled out on the couch and his tension-filled stance, and tightened her mouth before walking out of the room without saying a word.

  Finding his pack of cigarettes, he picked them up and walked out the front door. He needed to get a grip. Lighting the smoke, he leaned against the house and tried to forget what had happened, but Marla Marie's orgasm fiercely clung to him and refused to let go.

  Chapter 15

  RACHEL STORMED OUT of the house and shoved him. Dutch braced, knowing she had the right to rip him a new asshole.

  "What is going through your thick head?" She planted her hands on his chest and pushed him again in anger.

  Not budging, he wouldn't allow anyone—not even his sister—to tell him how to live his life. No one could stop him from having what he wanted.

  He knew Marla Marie better than anyone because she let him in.

  "I saw the look on Marla's face." She clamped her mouth shut and let out a muffled scream. "I can't believe you. She's a child, Dutch. No one. Absolutely no one has a right to put a hand on her. You have no idea what you've done to her. Girls don't get over being abused—"

  "Shut your fucking mouth." He stepped forward, making her back up. "I never abused her."

  "What do you call that?" She pointed toward the door. "She's sixteen years old."

  "What happens between her and me is our business. If she has a problem, she'll go to you. You know how she feels about me from the day I brought her to you."

  "You gave her to me." Rachel poked him in the chest. "She's my daughter."

  The roar of a motorcycle approaching kept him from telling her exactly what he'd done. He never had any intentions of handing Marla Marie over to Rachel and cutting her out of his life. He needed someone to raise her, where she was safe and loved. To give her some kind of normalcy.

  Sure, he was thinking about Rachel at the time. He wanted to do something for her to help her get through the miscarriage. But, he never walked out of Marla Marie's life.

  He lived on the road. When he was free, he was here, seeing after Marla Marie.

  Not once had Rachel or Skull told him to butt out of their lives. They welcomed him returning and sorting out Marla Marie's problems and the trouble she would get in. He was always the first person they called.

  Rachel couldn't kick him out of Marla Marie's life now.

  He stepped away, looking out at the street, seeing Skull arriving. Fuck. Could today get any worse?

  "What am I supposed to do?" Rachel wouldn't let what happened—what she believed happened—go. "I'd kill any man who touched her or...or make sure they spent the rest of your years in prison for touching her. She's a child, Dutch. What you did to her was a crime."

  He wasn't even going to fight her on that. He knew what he'd done.

  "Marla Marie will belong to me for the rest of my life." He lowered his voice. "You better get used to it."

  Rachel shook her head. "It's not right."

  "Right or wrong, it is what it is, and I won't let you tell me differently." His head cleared the longer he stayed away from Marla Marie. He wanted everything out in the open now. "She's sixteen years old. She'll be graduating in less than two years. You better wrap your head around the idea that she will leave you."

  "She's my daughter."

  "She'll always be your daughter, but she's going to grow up, and like you, like me, nobody is going to tell her how to live her life." He exhaled. "Only one thing would ever ruin the relationship you both have together, and that's if you try and come between her and me. If you do, all you're going to do is lose her."

  Rachel hissed. "You don't know that."

  "When you calm down, I think you'll accept that you know how Marla Marie's felt about me this entire time." He turned when the motorcycle shut off and raised his chin in greeting to Skull. "You also know how I feel about her. I would lay down and die before I hurt her, and leaving her would kill her."

  "That doesn't make it right," said Rachel behind him.

  He exhaled loudly. "A lot of things about this life aren't right. The state should've kept us with mom when we were kids instead of having us go back and forth while trying her damnedest to keep us all together. I shouldn't have spent time in prison for the robbery at the gas station when that money belonged to WAKOM to start with. You shouldn't have to cater to Skull's ways and give your body to other men. Marla Marie should've had a mother that put her first."

  "Those are circumstances, Dutch. You're making a decision before my daughter is ready or mature enough to know her own mind."

  "That
might be true for other girls her age, who had a different past than Marla Marie, but she knows her own mind. If she told me to leave and never come back, it would take me a second to ride out of here and never look back because I'd do it for her."

  Skull walked up the pathway, putting an end to their discussion. What Rachel wanted to do with the information, that was her right. But he wouldn't let her opinion harm Marla Marie.

  "Good ride?" he asked Skull.

  "Sparky's out of commission for a while. He took a slug to his thigh. Woody's got the doc at the clubhouse now." Skull stroked Rachel's ass. "I got a hole burning in my stomach. Is there any food in the house?"

  "Tacos." Rachel ignored Dutch. "I'll go warm some up for you."

  His sister went inside. Skull hung around on the step with Dutch. The day was wasting. He needed to get going.

  "Is something wrong with Marla Marie?" asked Skull.

  He studied his brother-in-law. "Why would you think that?"

  "Pretty intense around here." Skull looked down the driveway. "You two look like you're two seconds from throwing punches."

  "Nothing for you to worry about." He reached back and turned the doorknob. "I'm going to grab my stuff and get out of here."

  He grabbed his duffle and looked around for Marla Marie. Hearing the shower going behind the bathroom door, he went into her room and found a piece of paper and a pen.

  Wednesday

  5pm

  Call me.

  ~Dutch

  He paused, knowing she'd want more from him.

  In a rush, he scribbled. Take it slow. Don't wear yourself out, Marla Marie.

  He walked out of the house without another word to his sister. Whatever came his way would come regardless of what he could do to stop it.

  A vision of Marla Marie in the shower, discovering herself, having an orgasm without him, kept him riding in the opposite direction.

  Rachel was right in the fact Marla Marie needed to grow up.

  But, God damnit, there would come a time when he wouldn't have to hit the road, and he was free to claim what had always been his.

  Sirens invaded his thoughts. He looked in the side mirror, and flashing red and blue lights grew bigger in his view.