The Four Stages of Loving Dutch Owen

by Debra Kayn

  His head pounded, knowing what men were capable of doing to a young girl.

  She'd made the shed her safe place. Throughout the years, he'd struggled with making her adapt to living with Rachel and Skull, and she begged to go home to find her mom. It wasn't her mom she wanted. She wanted to return here and hide in the shed because that's how she dealt with the heartbreak of him going back out on the road, riding for WAKOM Motorcycle Club.

  She wanted to go where she knew no one could hurt her.

  She wanted to go where she felt safe.

  He looked away, feeling the fool. His throat closed, feeling powerless to fix her past.

  She'd always lived life on the outside, looking in.

  He only wished he'd found her sooner and protected her from the pain.

  Looking at her, standing in the shed, spilling her heart in the one place she felt safe, he wanted her by his side.

  "Do you know how much I love you?" The words ripped from his throat, raw and strong.

  Her gaze intensified, straining her whole expression. "I do."

  "I promised to never leave you, and I won't."

  "You can't control what happens," she whispered. "You live a dangerous life. You could go back to prison anytime you ride away from me. You don't tell me, but I know."

  "You'd still have me even if I go to prison again."

  She stepped forward. "You could die when you're away from me."

  "I'd still find a way back to you."

  She walked out of the shed. "That's not possible."

  He took her in his arms. His hands shook. "I'd find a way, Marla Marie."

  She gazed into his eyes. "That day at the prison when you sent me away, and I was never supposed to come back to you. You told me that you forced me to love you."

  He remembered.

  "That's not true." She sniffed. "The love I have for you consumes me, Dutch. I know I'm a little extreme at times compared to you, but I never want to lose you. I never want you to leave me because that love we have for each other makes me feel better than anything."

  He cupped her face, wiping the remaining tears off her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. Her gaze, open and honest, strengthened him.

  "Your mom taught you that you're responsible for how people love you by always leaving and putting you second in her life. You're not responsible, Marla Marie. You think you're too damaged and broken to receive love, but you can choose to love me as much as I love you."

  "I do."

  He kissed her softly, inhaling her scent. "I'm going to burn down the fucking shed." He held her in front of him. "We're going to fill every cupboard in the house with food. Hell, turn the extra bedroom into storage and put whatever you need to feel safe in there. But you're not going to push me away."

  "I'm not—"

  "Jesus, Marla Marie." He kissed her forehead, holding her firmly. "I'm never leaving you."

  He kept his lips on her forehead, wanting to shake her until she understood what he'd do to prove how he would change her whole world for her.

  "I love you."

  "I love you, too." She wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning on him.

  Kissing her again, he looped his arm around her shoulders and walked her back to the house. She may never lose her fear of being left. But he'd be right beside her in case she needed him and to assure her that she wasn't alone.

  She would never be alone again.

  Chapter 35

  THE EVENING SUN CAST a glow over the house. Marla sat on the front step, the cell phone in her hand. Dutch was due home at any minute.

  He'd called twice to update his location as she knew he was on the last leg, coming from Spokane to Moses Lake.

  Nine days to finish his business for WAKOM Motorcycle Club crawled by with a slowness that tested her strength. Yet, his phone calls bolstered her to get up, go to work, come home, and eat.

  It would get easier now that Dutch will formally patch in with the Moses Lake Chapter during their next meeting. Knowing he made plans and had rearranged his life to make his home with her gave her security.

  The phone in her hand vibrated. She jumped and looked for the familiar 'unknown number' on the screen, but it was Alyssa.

  She answered, "Hi."

  "Busy?"

  "Nope. Just waiting for Dutch to come home." She straightened her legs on the step. "Aren't you at work tonight?"

  "It's slow, so I thought I'd call you really quick and see how you're doing. When I talked to you Wednesday morning, it was chaotic at the clubhouse. I couldn't hear that well, much less talk."

  "I'm fine." She looked down the empty road. "What was happening at the clubhouse?"

  "Andrea got caught having sex with Trip. Riot...well, he started a riot." Alyssa laughed. "It was actually pretty funny because Andrea took all her belongings Riot was throwing out the door, walked back in, and unloaded everything in Trip's room—and those two guys bunk in rooms that are side by side."

  "Oh, God." She laughed. "And, ew. Riot."

  "I know, right?"

  "Crazy." It felt good to hear Alyssa's voice, share gossip, and stay in contact. "Hey, I'll be able to see you next month. We're coming to Bellevue."

  "I'm so excited. When?"

  "The twenty-third. We'll stay over the weekend with Rachel and Skull," she said.

  "We'll plan something with you, Dutch, me, and King."

  "Sounds good."

  "I better get back to work. Call me this weekend?"

  She smiled. "Of course. Talk to you later."

  Marla disconnected the call and made sure she hadn't missed any phone calls while she'd talked. Tapping her toes, she waited for Dutch.

  She checked the time, hoping he arrived before the sun disappeared. As soon as she made her wish, a faraway hum got her attention.

  Straining to hear, she stood. He was on the highway. Skipping to the driveway, she waited.

  It only took him a couple of minutes, and he came into sight. And what a sight he was decked out in black, wearing his sunglasses. His hair and beard flowed with the wind.

  She raised her arm and waved over her head. He revved the motor, sending a thrill between her legs.

  Turning in a half-circle as he rode in and backed his Harley until his rear tire almost touched the house, she approached him.

  As soon as he turned off the bike, she threw her arms around his neck. "I've missed you."

  He grabbed her around the waist, hauling her with him when he exited the bike. His eyes flared, and she kissed him. He came in like an inferno, hot and bothered.

  She moaned as her need for Dutch amplified.

  "I've got something big for you." He carried her to the house with one arm, nuzzling her neck.

  She lifted her legs and wrapped them around him as he carried her into the house. With love mixed with arousal, she wiggled to get down when the door slammed shut.

  She worked her fingers over his belt and unfastened the front of his jeans. Her skill at undressing him growing more every day.

  He groaned as she wrapped her fingers around his cock and stroked. Brought home something big was an understatement. Dutch was primed and throbbing after being away from her.

  "Fuck, Marla Marie." His ass clenched, and he thrust into her hand.

  She leaned over and flicked her tongue over the slit at the end, catching a musky drop of arousal, before rubbing his cock along her cheek.

  He took his shirt off and then dug his hand into her hair, holding the strands back. She tilted her head and gazed up at him. He stared down at her intently.

  She loved the way he was all in when it came to sex. Straightening, she continued to stroke him and slipped her other hand into his jeans and cupped his balls, letting her finger slide on the sensitive area underneath.

  "Shit, woman." His knees locked.

  He made her wet and wanting. The shorts and T-shirt she had on were too much, even though she'd gone without a bra and panties in anticipation of him coming home.

  D
utch circled her wrists with his hands and pulled her off him. Walking her backward to the bedroom. The back of her knees bumped into the mattress, and she landed on the bed with a plop. Once he let go of her, she hurried to take off her clothes.

  He stripped all the way off, throwing all his clothes on the floor, except for his vest, which made it to the dresser. Sitting beside her, he flopped on his back. His heavy gaze locked onto her. She crawled on him and rubbed the front of his chest.

  His cock pressed against the inside of her thigh. She tried to slow down, but her body had other ideas.

  "Good ride?" She trailed her hands down, letting her fingernails scratch over his abdomen.

  "Next time, it'll be shorter." He gripped her hips, caressing the swell of her hips.

  Taking his dick in her hand, she rubbed the tip on herself. He flipped her, hovering above her.

  "I think you want my cock." He stood on his knees, looking down at her.

  He fisted himself over her pussy and stroked himself. "I had to do this on the road, always thinking about your pussy and your mouth."

  "How many times?"

  He glanced at her and grinned. "Every fucking night."

  She cupped her breasts, finding it hot to think of him thinking of her while jerking off.

  He dipped his cock between her legs, coating it with her wetness. Switching hands, he slid his two fingers inside of her, curving them upward.

  She quivered, almost arching off the bed.

  "There it is." Dutch's primal stare caressed her.

  Her chest rose and fell with each pant as she widened her knees, baring herself to him and making room for his broad, determined hand. Her mouth opened, and she let go of the moan growing in her chest.

  He growled, crashing his mouth onto her lips. She took his tongue, sucking him in. Her core clenched as she pressed against his hand.

  "Not yet." He flipped her over onto all fours.

  He tangled his hand in her hair, cricking her neck. Held into position, when he thrust into her, she moaned louder.

  Aggressive and fierce, he gave her every inch of him. Her eyes rolled back with each plunge as his hold on her hair kept her from pitching forward.

  His balls slapped her clit. She arched her back, warming all over.

  He knew how she liked it. There was nothing to hide. He knew her better than she knew herself, and he used those secrets to his advantage, taking her higher.

  Dutch's breathing quickened, becoming louder. His grunts sent shivers down her body, making her nipples ache.

  "I'm never going to leave you." He thrust. "Leave this." He slammed into her. "Never."

  She never even had to ask.

  Her body responded, coiling tighter until she thought her heart would stop beating. Then she came with igniting sparks pulsating throughout her.

  He let go of her hair and dug his fingertips into her hips. Groaning, he plunged into her and grunted his release. His jettying cum warmed her insides wave after wave.

  Hoarse and breathing hard, he looped his arm around her waist and brought her down on her side without slipping out of her. She sighed, finding the contentment she always found in his arms.

  He bit her shoulder. "Dinner, and then we're doing this again."

  "Same thing?" She turned her upper body, looking at him.

  He kissed her, chuckling against her lips. "I've been riding all day. It's probably time I let you do some riding."

  Stroking his face, she stared into his eyes. "Do you know how much I love you?"

  His gaze softened. "More than I could've ever made you, Marla Marie."

  And that's all she needed to know.

  Epilogue

  TEN YEARS LATER —

  Marla Marie stood at the kitchen window in Rachel and Skull's kitchen. Having watched her for the last several minutes from the hallway, Dutch walked inside the room and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest.

  "They'll be okay," he whispered, kissing the side of her head.

  "I know." A shudder ran through her, belying her spoken confidence.

  She'd had a year to prepare for this. Dutch looked out at the scene in the yard.

  Rachel sat in the grass, trying to catch a grasshopper with her hands. Nearby, Skull spiraled a football high in the air.

  Dutch's chest warmed.

  Cora Lee, his daughter, unable to sit still long enough at six years old, crawled around her Grandma Rachel, scattering any suspecting grasshoppers they'd planned to catch and put in the jar.

  At seven years old, Colt missed more passes than he could catch, but that hadn't stopped Skull from throwing the ball, over and over.

  Marla Marie sighed. "Are you sure they'll be okay without us?"

  It was the first time they'd left the children with anyone for more than a couple of hours.

  "Both the kids have begged to stay the weekend with their grandma and grandpa. They'll be fine." Reading her mind, he said, "You can call them all you want while we're gone and check in with them."

  "I know," she whispered.

  He understood her reluctance to leave them. He'd accepted long ago that it was a fear he couldn't take away from her. All he could do was prove that she would no longer have to suffer alone.

  Most of the time, she was fine sending the kids off to school for the day and letting them play with their friends out of her sight—usually the kids from Moses Lake Chapter.

  But Marla Marie was a devoted and loving mom.

  She would never want the children to worry about her not returning.

  "We'll need to hit the road soon if we're going to make it there in time to check into the hotel," he said.

  She turned in his arms. "I really am looking forward to the ride and our weekend away."

  For the first time since they had their son, they were riding to the Oregon coast to spend the weekend alone before he was due back to start his travels to the three chapters of WAKOM Motorcycle Club.

  "Is the open road calling your name?" he grinned.

  "Mm." She leaned into him and kissed his chest. "More like I get you all to myself for forty-eight hours."

  His cock pulsed, and he exhaled loudly. Marla Marie never grew out of her curious phase and never tired of finding ways to touch him or be touched. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

  She brushed her breasts against the front of him. "I've thought of several things we can do."

  "Fuck, Marla Marie." He looped his arm around her shoulders, making her laugh at his impatience to get to the coast and be alone with her. "Tell the kids goodbye, and let's hit the damn road already."

  In the backyard, the kids were too preoccupied and excited to pay any attention to their parents.

  Rachel gazed up as they stepped out onto the grass and pushed herself to her feet with a groan. Marla Marie walked forward. Dutch followed, staying back a few feet to give his woman time with his sister.

  "Cora Lee sure likes her bugs." Rachel picked up the jar off the grass and held it up for inspection. "When you were a little girl, I couldn't get you interested in holding a grasshopper."

  "I'd be happy if Grandma wanted to take the whole collection of bugs my daughter has in her room and wanted to keep them here." Marla Marie reached out and ran her hand down Cora Lee's hair as she ran by. "She has empty peanut butter jars lining the window sill of her bedroom that is full of woolly bears.

  Rachel smiled, hearing Marla Marie refer to her as grandma.

  Over the years, Marla Marie relied more on Rachel than when she was growing up. Once she got pregnant with Colt, Marla Marie sought out Rachel and accepted her into the mother role. A role both women needed.

  Rachel had been there through both pregnancies and the births. During that time, he'd seen his sister settle down, and contentment come into her life that he'd never seen before.

  Likewise, Marla Marie opened up and welcomed Rachel into her life, realizing Dutch couldn't do everything for her—at least when it came to dealing wit
h hormones, stretch marks, and the urge to push when it was time for the babies to arrive.

  "I've put their bags in my old room. There's also a sack of groceries in the kitchen. They eat their weight in food, so I wanted to make sure they had enough," said Marla Marie.

  Rachel waved her hand in dismissal. "I hit up the store yesterday and filled the cupboards with everything kids like and at least twenty packets of those gummy fruit bites they love."

  Marla moved toward Rachel, hugging her tightly. The whispered words between the two women were lost on Dutch.

  He turned as Skull yelled his name, catching the wayward football. His son jumped with his arm out in the air in victory.

  "Nice catch, Dad." Colt ran over and grabbed the ball, throwing back his arm, and sailing the football in the air, end over end to Skull.

  "Hey, son." Dutch hunkered down beside his son. "We're going to take off in a few minutes. Watch your sister and mind your grandparents. Also, when your mom calls, I want you to talk with her. No running off and giving the phone to Cora Lee."

  "Okay." Colt hugged him around the neck, then ran off, the game of catch more important at the moment.

  His kid always had a ball of some sort in his hand.

  Skull met his gaze. "Ride safe, brother."

  "Always." Dutch dipped his chin.

  Waiting for Marla Marie, he was often surprised that his children never questioned the dynamics of their family.

  Someday, when they hit their teens, he suspected they'd ask them how Grandma could also be their dad's sister and how their mom had blue eyes and blonde hair, like them, when everyone else had dark hair and brown eyes. But he guessed those questions would come once they started questioning everything.

  Amusement left him ready to go, so he could be with the girl he'd kidnapped. That was another story they'd have to share when the kids were older.

  Marla Marie hugged both of her kids, seeming to take longer than necessary because Cora Lee and Colt grew restless, ready to go back and play with Grandma and Grandpa.

  He walked over and distracted her, leading her by the hand. He got her to the gate in the yard and led her to the front of the house, out of sight of the others.