Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part One

by Ting, Melanie

“Kelly! I helped you find the perfect formal dress for Grad, and then found out you were going to wear flip-flops with it!”

  “They’re metallic. That’s dressy, right?”

  April shook her head. “Shoes. Like a normal person.” She squinted at me. “You have an evening bag, right? And a wrap?”

  “A wrap? What am I, a tortilla? Don’t worry, my mom’s lending me a cute beaded bag.” I also had a jacket in mind, but I knew that April wouldn’t approve, so I kept quiet about that. Time for a subject change. “Can you believe Karen and Charmaine? Talking about marriage. That is so insane.”

  April twisted a strand of hair, which was her signal for thinking hard. “Really truly, Kelly—have you never thought about a future with Phil? You two seem more committed than I’ve ever been with any guy. And Karen was right, you guys are perfect together.”

  I could tell she was serious, so I replied honestly. “No. We both know that it’s over at the end of the summer. Once I decided to go to McGill, we had a big discussion. Phil doesn’t believe that long distance can work, so we’re going to split up when I leave.”

  “Wow, that’s cold,” April said.

  “This coming from the Queen of Broken Hearts? You turf guys if you don’t like what they order at Starbucks.”

  “That’s an exaggeration. I dumped that vegan because he kept going on about factory farming when I was trying to eat my chicken burger. But back to you, that’s okay with you? Doesn’t it impact the way you feel about Phil, knowing you’re going to break up at the end of August?”

  “I think it’s better. We appreciate the time we do have together.”

  I wasn’t a person who worried a lot about the future, so it wasn’t like it weighed on my mind. And I didn’t tell her the other part—I believed it was one of the things that kept our relationship going. I figured that we kept going out because Phil knew our relationship had an end date and he didn’t have to worry. And at the end there wouldn’t be any big drama or hurt feelings. We would split up because that was how it had to be.

  “I swear, Kelly, you do not have a romantic bone in your body.”

  I laughed. “Oh yeah, I had one. But it got broken during a hockey game.”

  34

  Grad

  Phil

  Our boat had all the bells and whistles of a great party boat. Too bad we were only going as far as the downtown hotel for the grad dinner-dance. I had boarded with Kelly, but lost her in the crush, and now I was searching.

  Andrea Murray grabbed my arm. “Oh Phil, don’t forget you’re one of the team captains for the white-water rafting trip. We’ll have a quick meeting tonight.” Directly after Grad, we were headed up to Lytton for our final grad event. It was our parents’ way of making sure we didn’t do any drinking and dying.

  “Tonight? That’s not going to fly,” I told her. Why would we have to meet during the grad? It would take five minutes to organize our groups.

  “Yes, you’re probably right. Maybe we can all sit together on the bus there?”

  I shook my head. For a three-hour bus trip, I wanted to be in the back with Kelly beside me. “It’s not going to be a big deal,” I told Andrea. She was an intense organizer and way too anal. “Why don’t you relax and enjoy tonight?”

  “Oh gee,” she smiled, grabbed my arm and pushed her tits up against me. “That’s so nice of you, Phil. You look so handsome in your suit. It’s a new one, right?”

  “Yup,” I replied. Time to escape. “Sorry, I have to go find Kelly now.”

  I finally located Kelly up on the deck of the boat. She was the only girl outside watching as the dock in Deep Cove receded into the distance. A few parents, from the many who had come to see us off, were still watching from under umbrellas. Because of the light rain, the other girls were below deck, keeping their dresses dry and hair perfect. But Kelly didn’t care about that stuff; she loved being outside and paid no attention to her clothing. She was actually wearing a jean jacket over her long yellow gown, but it suited her perfectly.

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” I whispered in her ear. I stood behind her, my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Her hair was up, so I kissed the hollow at the base of her neck.

  She leaned back and laughed. “Oh, this is all April’s doing. I turn back into a pumpkin at midnight.”

  I shook my head. How could that be? Her dark hair was sleek, her face was glowing, and her body looked extra hot in her shiny dress. Kelly was gorgeous all the time, but tonight she was absolutely perfect. More than a few guys had already made comments about her, which I really hadn’t enjoyed hearing.

  She waved towards the shore. “My mom is still out there, treasuring the sight of me in a dress. She’d better go home and get ready for the dinner-dance.” She turned to look at me, “So, how do you think it’s going to be—our parents sitting together at the dinner?” We were at a table with April, her boyfriend, Danny Russo, Charmaine, and various parents.

  “A reunion of the Axis forces,” I joked.

  “Say what?” Kelly asked. History was not her strength.

  “Nothing. It’ll be fine. They’ll talk about how great the kids look and brag about what we’re doing next year.”

  “I don’t know. I can’t imagine your mom and my mom talking. Or even your dad and my dad.”

  “Don’t worry, relax and enjoy tonight,” I said for the second time in five minutes. “There’s going to be dancing, you love dancing.”

  Kelly rolled her shoulders and took a big exhale. “Okay, I’ll try not to worry.” She looked me over, then wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Did I tell you how hunky you look tonight? Have I ever seen you in a suit before?” She started giggling, “You know, other than your birthday suit?”

  “Kelly, sometimes you treat me like a sex object.”

  She ran a hand over my lapel, and leered up at me. Kind of a shit-eating grin. “And the problem with that would be?”

  I shook my head. “Sexism at its worst.”

  Kelly leaned in for a quick kiss. “I’ll show you sexism. So, we’re sleeping in tents tonight, right? When we get to the rafting place.”

  “Yeah, but they’re segregated. Boys and girls. I’m one of the people making sure that nothing happens.”

  “Wow. Isn’t that like the fox guarding the henhouse?”

  Well, it was the last event of high school. You couldn’t get expelled once high school was over, could you? I had to make sure nothing happened in the tents, but outside of the tents was not my responsibility.

  Dinner went well, like I had predicted. Our parents chatted politely, and except for my dad’s complaints about the fact that “dry Grad” meant no alcohol for parents too, everything was fine.

  Our first dance was with a parent, so I went up with my mom. We were beside Kelly and her dad. He had been almost friendly tonight, so I figured he was warming up to me. We had chatted when I went to pick up Kelly’s orchid corsage.

  My mom noticed me watching Kelly, and commented. “She is a nice girl.”

  “But?” I asked. I recognized that tone of voice even with all the music and noise.

  “But? But you are young. First—university and a job. I hope you are taking precautions.”

  I laughed. “You’re being ridiculous, Mom.” We weren’t stupid. Kelly was on the pill now, and that had vaulted our sex life into the stratosphere.

  After the first dance, our parents went back to the table. Kelly and I stayed out on the dance floor. I liked to watch Kelly dance. Her moves were graceful and sexy. Eventually all our friends joined us. It felt like we needed to party hard because this was the last time we’d all be together.

  “Oh Phil, I need to grab you for a few minutes,” Andrea Murray had appeared out of nowhere and stood between Kelly and me. I saw Kelly frown. I argued with Andrea about the need to meet at all, but she had already rounded up everyone else, so I had to go.

  “I’ll be back in few minutes, Kel,” I told her and gave her a kiss.
Kelly stayed on the dance floor with Charmaine as I looked back regretfully.

  Our supposedly brief meeting took nearly half an hour, and when I got back I couldn’t find Kelly. I finally spotted her in the middle of the dance floor. There were lots of our friends out there, but I could see stupid Aidan Woodhull trying to isolate her. I could feel myself getting pissed off. The music switched to a slow song and I saw Aidan whisper in her ear. Kelly shook her head and started to walk back to the table.

  I intercepted her. “Hey Kel, sorry it took so long.”

  She brightened up at the sight of me. “Phil! Yay, you’re back.”

  “Want to dance?” I asked and she nodded. We walked back onto the dance floor and passed Aidan, who was skulking away.

  “Was he bothering you?” I wondered.

  “Who?” She was completely oblivious.

  I shook my head, not bothering to reply. If Kelly couldn’t tell when guys were hitting on her, I wasn’t going to be the one to enlighten her.

  When we got out to the middle of the dance floor, I pulled her into me. I put one hand on her bare back and felt her warm skin. Kelly looked up at me. Her face shone with excitement. Kelly’s sunny optimism was contagious and all my irritation at Aidan and Andrea vanished. I smiled down at her.

  “It’s nice, isn’t it, Phil? Both of us all dressed up and doing something special like this. I mean, it’s not what I usually like, but it’s all pretty neat.” I nodded, and then she laid her head against my chest. Her hair tickled my chin and smelled like lemons. Her body melded into mine.

  Something rose up inside me, a feeling that was huge and overwhelming. At first, I thought I was just happy, but then there was this click in my brain. I realized that, even though we had been joking about her friends being ridiculously sentimental about us, they were right. We were perfect together. Kelly was everything I’d ever wanted in a girlfriend, and I was in love with her. In love with a girl who laughed at commitment. I swallowed and held her even tighter to me.

  35

  Hoedown

  Phil

  Hoff yelled in my ear. “Look at those chicks in the white cowboy hats! They’re flashing their tits at everyone! This place is nuts. I fucking love the Stampede.”

  The huge Cowboys tent was a madhouse. A live band was playing country tunes and drunken partiers were swaying to the beat. The room reeked of sweat, beer, and hormones.

  Hoff and I had come to Calgary with my Dad. He was meeting some old friends from the University of Calgary for a big Stampede reunion. My Dad really wanted me to go to his alma mater, so this trip was part of his plan. He figured that showing me what a party city it was would convince me. I had already accepted U.B.C. engineering school, but he didn’t get to be a success in the investment business by taking no for an answer. The reality was that if he stopped shoving Calgary down my throat, I might have been more interested.

  This was a bribe, straight up, but it would be a good time, so I took it. We could check out the rodeo events by day and party by night. I’d spend some time with my Dad, but he was busy, so he had told me to bring a friend to hang out with.

  “You guys ever tried line dancing?” These three girls we had been talking to earlier came over and dragged us out on the dance floor. It was kind of fun, but drinking wasn’t exactly improving my coordination. The drinking age here was only 18, so Hoff and I had been taking full advantage.

  We were all laughing and sweating buckets after a couple of songs. The band switched it up to something slow, and the brunette one grabbed my arm. I think her name was Danielle.

  “Dance with me, Phil.” She smiled invitingly up at me, but I shook my head. She was already getting overfriendly. I turned to leave, but she was still clinging to me. She got up on tiptoe and whispered in my ear, “Dontcha find it too noisy here? Want to go someplace quiet and… talk?”

  “Uh thanks, but I can’t. I have a girlfriend.”

  Danielle pouted. She seemed kind of drunk. “She’s not here, is she? Let me show you a real Stampede welcome.”

  How many ways did I have to say no? I had invited Kelly, but her dad had nixed it when he heard we’d be sharing a hotel room. So I got Hoff to come instead. Danielle finally gave up and I walked back to the bar to get some water and another beer. Hoff joined me a few minutes later.

  “Fuck, P.D. You turn chicks down and then I get turned down.”

  I looked around, but I couldn’t even see the girls anymore. “She wouldn’t dance with you?”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly ask her to dance. But you said no to her friend, so they all got pissy and took off.”

  He got another beer, and we turned around to check out the room.

  “I don’t get you, man. She’s a dimepiece, why d’ja turn her down?”

  “Because I’m dating Kelly.”

  “We’re in another province. I can guaran-fucking-tee that Kelly will never find out.”

  “I’d know.” Maybe I’d gone out with a few girls, but I’d never cheated on any of them. If I got interested in someone else, it was time to break up. What was the point of dating and cheating at the same time? “It’s not worth the risk for some random sex that would probably suck anyway.”

  “Yeah, she did look like she’d suck—” He smirked, and I knew something asinine was coming. “Your dick, like a vacuum.” He laughed like a hyena. When he was done, he leaned over to talk.

  “Okay. One question. If you weren’t going out with someone, would you have hit it?”

  I shrugged. Maybe, but it was all hypothetical.

  “Aha! You would have. My good buddy is still under there somewhere. The guy who’s not whipped. Who shows up to poker night. Who scores babes.”

  “Oh fuck off.” I drained my beer.

  Hoff leaned over and asked, “P.D., I gotta know—is Kelly one of those geisha-types in the bedroom? Like all submissive?”

  I snorted with laughter. “Hoff, you know Kelly. Have you ever seen her act like that?”

  He shook his head. “I dunno, I was hoping that she might be like that in private because she’s Japanese.”

  “Only half,” I replied. “The other half is winning.” I wasn’t going to tell him how hot the sex was, or he’d start to get really interested. Truth was that Kelly was probably the most enthusiastic sex partner I’d ever had. She was strong and flexible, and totally into it.

  “What is it then? You’re more gaga over her than anyone.”

  Usually we’d never discuss shit like this, but we’d both been drinking too much. “I don’t know—she gets me.”

  “Gets you? Every girlfriend is like that, they’re always into feelings and thinking. I hate that crap.” Hoff inhaled some beer, like he was trying to get a bad taste out of his mouth.

  “That’s not what I mean.” I tried to put my ideas into words. “Y’know, there are some girls, it’s like they have this romantic fantasy and they try to slot you into it. You have a look they like so they project this whole deal onto you. That’s stupid.” Or if they heard you had a reputation with chicks, they were actually offended if you didn’t make a big play for them right off. It wasn’t like that with Kelly. She never expected me to be cool or macho, or if I was in a bad mood she didn’t get offended. It was so easy to be with her.

  He squinted at me. “So, you’re so too good-looking and it’s a big hassle. Fuck right off.”

  “Naw, it’s not about being good-looking. What if a chick thought you looked like—” I paused, trying to figure out what celebrity Hoff looked like. “Oh, like that dude from The O.C.! And then she expected you to act like him, all tough and intense and ready to jump guys. Wouldn’t that bug you?”

  He looked a little flattered. “Chicks have told me I kinda look like him. But if I get laid because of it, who gives a shit?”

  “Well, if you were desperate. But if you could get a normal girlfriend, why bother with the head games?”

  We both drank in silence for a moment.

  “You’re pretty serio
us about Kelly.”

  I didn’t say anything. What I felt about Kelly seemed too intense for a room full of drunken cowboys. I hadn’t even told her yet.

  “But she’s leaving for McGill at the end of the summer, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Hoff winced. “Nooooooo, don’t tell me you’re going to do some stupid long distance thing, are you? What happened to us, the two amigos? We’re supposed to make our way through all the hotties at U.B.C.!”

  I shook my head. “That long distance shit never works.” My brother, Ray, and his girlfriend, Viv, had gone out for two years, but when he went away to university and she stayed here, it only lasted until Christmas. They had a spectacular break-up, which resulted in a huge scene at my parent’s Christmas Eve open house.

  “Phew. You can’t tell me you weren’t looking forward to a little co-ed action.”

  “Well—” I couldn’t deny that before I started dating Kelly, I could hardly wait to leave the small orbit of high school and get to university. Hoff and I used to discuss all the fun we were going to have. But these days, I had mixed feelings.

  “You gotta watch out. Chicks are always trying to tie you down.”

  I shook my head. “Kelly’s not like that.”

  “Oh yeah? I dated her best friend for three months, and she was showing me rings she liked. And that was in fucking grade eleven. Not this boy.”

  Yeah, but Karen Leighton was kind of a head case. She was talking marriage for Kelly and me too. We had laughed about that, but it was true: the longer you dated someone, the more everyone’s expectations went up.

  “I know we’re splitting up in August. It’s kinda fucked, though. Things are sweet now.”

  Hoff patted my shoulder in an unexpectedly kind way. “It’s cool, bud. Maybe you’ll get back together sometime.”

  That was something I had been thinking about, but it was so tough to predict what Kelly might want. That might be the perfect solution. We were way too young to think about getting serious now, but maybe sometime in the future—who knew.