Chasing Love

by Melissa West

  Charlie licked his lips as he pulled back, his eyes full of wickedness and want, and then he pulled open the nightstand drawer and took out a condom. “Let’s see if Double Ecstasy does what it claims.”

  Lila scanned the condom wrapper and laughed. “You didn’t.”

  “Hell yeah, I did.”

  He rolled it on, and all humor fell from Lila’s face as she drank him in. Each taut muscle. The small line of light hair that trailed from his belly button. The sharp V of his pelvic muscle. God, he was unbelievably sexy.

  Climbing over her now, he lowered himself until his body pressed against hers, and then that delicious mouth of his went to her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. He sucked on one of her nipples, then bit down lightly, and that was enough.

  “Charlie . . . God . . . please.”

  Without another word, he drove inside her hard, nothing gentle about it, and she held onto him as he watched her. Then, when he knew he’d found her sweet spot, he sped up, faster, harder, so damn deep, and then she burst all around him, vibrating in spasms. And then he covered her mouth with his, her taste still on his lips as he groaned, and released inside her. His breathing was heavy as he laid down beside her, their bodies intertwined.

  “That was . . .” He released another breath, and Lila could feel his heart pounding against his chest.

  “Amazing.”

  He kissed her again. “I’m done, you know that, right? It’s only you for me.”

  Lila nuzzled against him. “Promise?”

  “If you’ll let me, I’ll give you the world. Everything I have and everything I am. It’s yours.”

  Lila’s heart became light, the words right there, three words to convey what he meant to her, but then she heard his breathing slow, his body relaxing, and she peered up to find his eyes closed.

  “I love you,” she whispered. And though she knew he didn’t hear her, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Charlie woke to the smell of freshly laundered clothes and sunshine, warmth pressed against his chest, and a sense of contentment and purpose he hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe not ever.

  He thought of that day in the hammock, his chest so full he thought it would explode, the desire to kiss her so strong he’d nearly lost it and thrown caution to the wind and leaned in. But he hadn’t. And now, more than a decade later, here she was, in his arms.

  They’d spent most of the night exploring one another. The first time was fast, a rush of hormones and emotions. But then he woke an hour later and traced lazy circles on her stomach, then her legs, and suddenly she was awake, too. She climbed on top of him, but this time it was slower, their bodies coming together, a new understanding forming between them. And so the night went on like that, reaching for each other, sleeping a little, then starting it all over again, like a fantasy come true.

  Not wanting to open his eyes, he pulled her closer, tucking her against him, her slow, sleepy breaths warming him all over again. This was the real thing, right here, and unless God made him, he would never let her go. He kissed her cheek, prepared to try to fall back asleep, when a knock at his door, followed by another, had him groaning.

  “Go away,” he called, then he realized the person could be the cops here to update them on the attacker. Slipping his arm out from under Lila, he climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of gym shorts, then turned to look at her. Her dark hair spread across his white pillow, his sheet tangled around her legs and covered her bare breasts. God, she was beautiful. Smart and kind and funny—perfect. And she was his. The thought made him happier than he deserved to be, and he could stay there, watching her sleep all day. But then the knocking started up again, and he drew a breath for patience. This better be important.

  Reaching the door, Charlie unlocked the deadbolt and opened it up, prepared to either tell one of his brothers to come later or to ask the officer to step outside so they could talk. But it wasn’t Zac or Brady or an officer.

  It was Lucas.

  “Uh, hey!” Charlie said, his voice too high, his brain still foggy from his and Lila’s night of exploration. He closed the door and stepped outside, unsure what else to do, but he needed Lucas far, far away from here. At least until Lila left or at the very least put clothes on. Then they could explain this to him together. That this wasn’t a fling; it was more. It was everything. She was everything.

  “What are you doing?” Lucas asked. “I went to see Lila at Annie’s and she explained to me what was going on. Said Lila was staying here until they caught the bastard.”

  Shit. Of course he would go see Lila first and hear where she was, and then there was the Honda Pilot in his driveway, obvious to anyone with half-decent sight.

  “Right, yeah. She’s here, but she’s asleep, so I didn’t want to wake her.” All the truth, but Lucas stared at him like he could decode the deeper meaning in his words. Charlie drew a long breath, then two. Twenty-plus years of friendship meant they could read each other better than anyone, and if it was anything else, Charlie would have already unloaded the full story. The full, true story. But this wasn’t something else. It was Lila. And he was tired of trying to do the right thing by Lucas while destroying Lila in the process. He wouldn’t do that, not again.

  So with that in mind, he sighed heavily, and forced himself to look his best friend in the eye. “Look, man, we need to talk. I—”

  But before he could continue, his door opened and Lila stood there, wearing one of Charlie’s shirts and nothing else. “Hey, I didn’t know where you—” She stopped as her eyes found Lucas, but he wasn’t looking at her anymore. He was looking at Charlie.

  “You didn’t.”

  “Let me explain.”

  “Let you freaking explain? I ask you to protect my sister, and you take that as an invitation to take advantage of her?” He started for Charlie, but Lila stepped between them first, her hands braced on her brother’s chest as she lightly pushed him back.

  “Stop.”

  Lucas’s face turned red with anger, but he took a step back. “This is between Charlie and me.”

  “No, actually, it isn’t. It’s between me and Charlie. Not you.”

  He shook his head, so angry now that Charlie knew if Lila wasn’t standing between them, fists would be thrown.

  “Look, we wanted to talk to you about this,” Charlie said. “Once you were back here and safe. This isn’t some casual hookup.”

  A sarcastic laugh broke from his lips as he scowled at Charlie. “Right. Because you know so much about serious relationships. About commitment. How many have you had over the years? Oh that’s right. None. What evidence is there that you would take this seriously, that you would treat her the way she deserves to be treated? There is none!”

  “I get that you’re angry, but if you could let me explain I—”

  “Explain?” Lucas tossed his hands in the air. “There is no explanation. I trusted you! And you what, lead my baby sister into your bed?”

  Lila’s hands clenched into fists as she lifted her head to face off with her brother. “I’m not a baby. I haven’t been a baby in a long, long time, and it’s time you stop treating me like I am one. I get that you love our family, that you feel it’s your job to look after all of us. I get that and I respect it. But I am an adult, and I make my own choices. And I choose Charlie.”

  “You’re vulnerable right now. You don’t know what you want.”

  “Lucas, look at me,” Lila said, and he placed his hands on his hips before forcing himself to look at her. “Now listen to me when I tell you this. Actually listen. I love him,” she said. “I have loved him since I was old enough to even know the meaning of the word, and now I’ve gotten to know the man he is, and I love him even more.” She turned to Charlie then. “I love you, and I know we’re not ready for those words, but I feel it and I can’t help it. I do.”

  Charlie took her hand and pressed it to his lips, his mouth open to say it back, to tell her that she rebuilt
his heart. That he never thought he’d care about anything again, not in any real, concrete way. But he cared about her, and now, more than anything, he wanted to give her the life she deserved.

  But Lucas spoke up before he could say any of those things.

  “This isn’t happening. She’s a doctor! She should marry another doctor or a lawyer or someone who is on her level.”

  Ah, and now it was all becoming clear. “On her level? Right, so what you’re saying is someone who is good enough for her, because obviously I’m not.”

  Lucas’s jaw ground together as he stared at Charlie. “No, you’re not. You’re a man who promised to protect her while I was gone, and I come back to find out you let that piece of shit get to her, get into her apartment. You decided it was more important to get her into your bed than to protect her.”

  And Charlie didn’t know why, but those words from his best friend, from a man he had always considered a brother, tore through him. Of course she could do better. Of course. But he’d be damned if he would allow Lucas to claim that Charlie had been reckless with her safety.

  “I guess that’s it, then,” Charlie said.

  “Yeah, it is. Sorry, but you aren’t dating my sister.”

  Now Charlie’s own anger rose up inside him. He reached out to take Lila’s hand. “Actually, I meant that you’ve said your piece. I hoped you’d support this, that maybe you’d be happy for us. Your best friend with your sister. Why wouldn’t you be okay with it? I own a successful business. I am financially stable, debt free, I always have been. You know this about me. What exactly about me isn’t good enough? But then I guess that’s the real problem: In your eyes, I’ve never been on your level either, have I?”

  Lucas looked away, and Charlie had his answer.

  “Enough,” Lila said. “You’re both just angry. You can’t end your friendship over this. I won’t let you. Lucas, I love you. I will always respect you and your opinion, but I can care for whomever I like. You have no jurisdiction over my love life. This is my decision, and I pick him.”

  Charlie kissed Lila, and Lucas stormed off. Twenty-plus years of friendship . . . over.

  Chapter Twenty

  Charlie and Lila both fell into silence as they got ready for the day, until Lila went to meet Lucas for lunch and then it was Charlie, alone in an empty house. He wanted to drive her into town, but showing up together would only make things worse. But how much worse could it be?

  He would head into Southern Dive to open the shop, so he showered, then put on his clothes, made coffee, all of the tasks mindlessly done because his thoughts were all on what Lucas had said . . . and how right he had been. His thoughts drifted back to their upbringings and how different they had been. Charlie’s family wasn’t poor by any stretch of the imagination, but they weren’t wealthy either. They weren’t educated. Everyone in Lucas and Lila’s family graduated from college, Lucas while serving. And Lila was a doctor. Charlie might run a successful business now, and certainly the farm was doing well, but he was as blue collar as a Southern man could be. Lila was anything but blue collar.

  And then there was the issue of the attacker getting into Lila’s apartment, and while Charlie felt he’d watched out for Lila maybe he was wrong. Maybe he should have done more. What if Lila had been there when the attacker was there? Anything could have happened and then—

  No, he wouldn’t let himself go down that road. She was safe. But Charlie had allowed his feelings for her to overcome his logic, and maybe that slip was why he missed the attacker coming to Crestler’s Key, photographing them together, and then getting into her apartment.

  Arriving at Southern Dive, he unlocked the door, turned off the alarm, and turned on the lights, each step dragging him deeper into the black hole that was taking over his head and heart. He woke his laptop and went to work checking online orders. The numbers of questions about T-shirt designs and custom requests were increasing to the point now that Charlie had an autoreply setup that announced the T-shirt line was in development, to stay tuned for news. But that reply had been in place for three months now, and he was no closer to starting the T-shirt line. The process, which he’d discussed briefly with his lawyer, involved patents, which took time to approve, then finding a good screen printer to produce the shirts, then packaging and pricing, and the list went on forever.

  Still, as he stared at the ten orders, all of them inquiring about the shirts, all since yesterday, he wondered if maybe . . . But then he thought of who he was, his experience. What business did he have trying to create a business from the ground up all on his own? Southern Dive had been different. He had his brothers there to help.

  Frustrated, he closed the laptop and was preparing to go through the shop when a soft knock at the main door pulled his attention away. Immediately, his eyes locked on Lila’s through the glass, and he started over, every step like his shoes were filled with lead. Because he knew where this was going, what he had to do.

  “Hey,” she said, as he unlocked the door, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, but he couldn’t bring himself to hug her back. That would only make this harder. She pulled away, her face pinched in concern. “Are you okay?”

  “Any news on the attacker?” he asked, hoping to change the subject.

  “No, nothing new. They want me to be watched, but Lucas said he would handle it. You know how he is.”

  Overprotective, Charlie wanted to say, but then wasn’t he overprotective, too? Weren’t we all when it came to the ones we loved?

  “Yeah, I do. How did lunch go?”

  She sighed heavily. “As good as expected. He doesn’t understand.”

  “Right.” Charlie turned away and went back to the T-shirt wall, where he’d decided to pull every stack off and reorganize them. Because apparently he wanted to torture himself.

  “What are you doing?” Lila asked.

  “Organizing the shelf.”

  “No. What are you doing?”

  Unable to avoid it any longer he spun to face her, his frustration taking over logical thought. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! I want to be with you. I’ve wanted it for as long as I can remember. But every single thing Lucas said was right. I’m not . . . you’re . . . I just don’t know how this can work. And now I’ve ruined the only real friendship I have.”

  Lila nodded slowly, her face etched in anger, and Charlie wanted to go to her, to apologize, take it all back. But he couldn’t, because deep down he knew this was the right thing.

  “You know, when you stood up to him at your house, I thought ‘Finally! Finally, Charlie is done being in Lucas’s shadow and will put my arrogant, thinks-he-can-do-no-wrong brother in his place.’ But clearly not. Didn’t it ever occur to you that you are everything I ever wanted, too? That I’m proud of you? That everything you touch takes off and flies? You don’t need a degree to be intelligent and driven. Those things are already inside of you, and that’s why if you decide to create your T-shirt line, I know it’s going to blow up, too. And not because Zac helps you or Brady pushes it or all those followers you have on social media tell everyone they know. It’s because of you. Because you are amazing.” Her lip trembled and she dropped her gaze to the hardwood floors, and Charlie took a step toward her. “But I can’t make you want to fight for me. I can’t make you put me first. I can’t . . .” Her voice shook.

  Charlie wished she would deck him right now, because he deserved it. Everything she was saying was right, but he couldn’t make sense of this in his head. Losing someone you care about to gain someone else. Nothing about this was right.

  Finally, she focused on him again, her eyes red, but she was holding back her tears. “I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a woman, and love is only a small part of a relationship. You need to trust each other and know the other person isn’t going to back out on you when things get tough. And I just don’t . . . I’m not sure I can say that about you. So, I’ll make this easy for you. Good-bye, Charlie.”

  She turned ar
ound and walked out the door, her head down as she started down the sidewalk, and every fiber in Charlie’s body ached to go after her. To beg and plead and say she was right, he was an idiot. But he couldn’t. So instead, he turned back to his shelf, the pile of shirts there, and grabbed the lot of them and threw them back onto the shelf. Then he grabbed his keys, shut out the lights, and walked out—alone.

  * * *

  The tears refused to stop, despite all Lila’s efforts to tell them to stop. It was like she’d been promised the future she wanted, got a small peek into what it would look like, and then she woke from the dream only to realize it had never been a possibility in the first place. Her heart hurt, and all she wanted to do was go back to Southern Dive and ask him to try, to talk to Lucas with her. And then talk to Lucas again, and again, until he—

  Oh my God. What was she thinking? Lucas was her brother, not her father, and even then, she was a twenty-eight-year-old woman. What right did anyone have to involve themselves in her love life? They didn’t! He didn’t!

  So with renewed anger, Lila turned her car around and sped toward her brother’s house, each second making her madder and madder until she feared her brother might not survive this visit. She slammed her Pilot into park in his driveway. Immediately, he opened his screen door, was already through it, asking what was wrong, when she flew out of her car, stomping and ready to push him to the ground, like when they were kids and he’d rip the head off one of her Barbie dolls.

  “I am not a little girl anymore.”

  His face switched from worry to confusion. “I know that.”

  “Do you? Because this is all your fault. You treat me like a freaking porcelain doll, always have, and then the attack happened, and it’s a thousand times worse. Charlie is your best friend. The best man you know, and you treated him like he was nothing. All for what? Because I fell for him? News flash, I fell for him a long time ago, and you had no right getting involved. It’s my life, mine. My decision.”