A Sky Full of Secrets

by Briana Pacheco

  It’s not like I had much to bring to begin with. All my pottery tools are in Mac’s parents’ basement waiting for me to use them again.

  I left California with the same duffel bag I brought here. I didn’t need to be reminded of anything or anyone. I’d prefer screwing a cactus than having to be in the same room with my ex-roomie, Candice. We were thrown together the beginning of fall semester because we didn’t make friends with anyone the year before to pick roomies. The first day we met and she learned that I was deaf but could in fact hear her, she’d speak to me like I was slow or something. She was always over enunciating and it made me want to punch her in the face. Every. Single. Time.

  That night her boyfriend came over…man, I wish I could erase it all. The smug look on his face and the words that left his mouth make my blood boil when I think about them.

  Ugh, I’m getting angry right this moment, I feel like I can punch a wall.

  I stand abruptly before I lose my temper, and head out of my new room, following the loud voices coming from downstairs.

  Mac told me to make myself at home and get acquainted with my room while he thought of something to cook for dinner so I was doing just that for the last thirty minutes. At some point, I heard the front door close followed by heavy footsteps walking around the house when I was about to head downstairs. I was too nervous to go further. I retreated back to my room.

  I don’t do well living with strangers, obviously.

  My bedroom is all the way down the hallway so there’s no reason for anyone to disturb me to get to their room or the upstairs bathroom. I kind of like that.

  As I head down the stairs, I try to peek through the openings of the wooden banister to get a first look at Phoenix. No one wants to be stared at awkwardly so you do it when they can’t see you.

  “Nix, did you find it?” Mac calls out, stepping out of the kitchen to my left. His eyes connect with mine then shift down the stairs to his left.

  I follow his eyes and stop short on the last step when I find a tall man standing by the front door, digging into a coat pocket hanging from the coat rack, his eyes locked on mine.

  Well, well, well, we’ve got a second creeper.

  While I was looking for him, he already spotted me.

  Phoenix shakes his hand out from the pocket, holding a black wallet. He shakes it at Mac like here it is then steps forward, walking toward the stairs with his long jean-clad legs.

  Mac is tall and slim whereas this guy is tall and damn! Is that a good description? Probably not. Let my brain catch up to the sight before me. The tight t-shirt he’s wearing clings to his chest, showing just how well he does in the gym. He holds himself up so confidently. It’s hot. He’s hot.

  The creases on his forehead deepen as he continues to look at me. It’s almost like he’s scowling but not. The full bread he has going on adds to his ruggedness, and it’s a little off-putting if I’m being honest. With the broad shoulders and arms that look like he can crush a puppy, I’m left worried. I’ve never been around a man that looks so…hard. I want to poke his stomach just to see if I’ll break my finger. He’s lean though. I’m trying really hard not to describe an Arnold Schwarzenegger look-a-like. Phoenix isn’t bulky, and I am one hundred and ten percent sure that he’s ripped underneath all those clothes.

  He runs a hand through his dark hair and offers me a smile. His green eyes shine bright and make me want to smile back. I’ve always liked warm, inviting eyes. “I was starting to think MacKay made you up and photoshopped you into photos,” he says, holding out his right hand. His voice is not at all what I expected from a man like him. I was expecting something much deeper. I like that I was wrong. I know that I’m not hearing what his voice really sounds like, thanks to the sound processors but it seems pretty close to how Mac sounds. Masculine. With a little bit of white noise. “I’m Phoenix, it’s nice to finally meet you. Though, if I’m honest, MacKay talks about you so much I feel like I already know you.”

  “He must not have told you the crazy parts then or else you wouldn’t have agreed to let me stay here.”

  And the best thing about this exchange, not once does he look at me weirdly. My hair is down, doing a mighty fine job of covering my ears but I’m sure Mac has already told him that I’m…different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I got the surgery but sometimes, when I’m around my family or ignorant people, I get super sad and angry that people can’t accept it. Accept me. I can’t seem to accept myself at times either.

  When I wake up, it’s in complete silence. I won’t turn on my sound processors until after I shower and have had a cup of coffee. It’s me time before I go out into the world and hear everyday life.

  “After he shaves is when he looks harmless, Lu,” Mac says, patting my hand that is gripping the banister to the point of my knuckles turning white. I just want to be sure that I can sleep tonight without this guy getting some crazy ideas of nightly sleepovers or some shit because I’m a girl.

  But…I wouldn’t mind nightly visits once I get to know him…

  “So, Phoenix, tell me the story of you and Mac.”

  Chapter Two

  Luna

  Last night, Phoenix and I tried to put the awkwardness of being strangers now living together behind us by talking about his and Mac’s friendship. Besides knowing they’ve roomed together since freshman year of college, I learn that he grew up in Maine but his family now resides less than an hour from us in Westerly. And his family is huge; they wanted a house full of kids. Phoenix has four older sisters and one younger brother.

  Phoenix went to school for astronomy and physics, and I was pleasantly surprised because he looks more like a business or law major. I mean, I don’t even look like a business major but he looks like he should be somewhere important, like a CEO of a company or something. Mac’s got a degree in elementary education with a minor in communication. The guy loves kids but he thinks their generation is getting dumber every year. I’ve seen a five-year-old with an iPhone back in Los Angeles. Jesus, when I was five, I played jump rope in my little princess dress and drew on the sidewalk with my small bucket of chalk. That was the time of my life.

  I do have a hard time trusting people, years of letting in the wrong people will do that so I still need time to warm up to Phoenix but since he’s good friends with Mac, and I trust him, I’ll take a chance on the newbie.

  Sitting up in bed after staring at my clock, I eye my phone that hasn’t lit up once since I stepped foot in this new house.

  I stand and walk toward the window, brushing the light purple curtain to the side. None of my family’s cars are parked outside. I thought at least someone would want to come by.

  I stare out of my window as I bring my phone up and write out a text to my mother. When I left, she told me to tell her when I got here. I waited a day and she hasn’t even tried to see if I’m alive.

  Me: I’m here. It’s cozy. You and Dad can come by and see!

  I wait for what seems like forever before my phone vibrates in my hand.

  Mom: We’re babysitting Sadie. Ian needs us. Next time.

  Leave it to my older brother to get all the attention, like always. Ever since he has been having problems with his wife, Katie, Mom and Dad feel the need to be over his house and try to work out that failing marriage. Ian should know that our fates are just like our parents’; broken and loveless. Marriage is a stupid title that ruins couples’ lives.

  I text both of my brothers asking if they need help, or anything at all because I don’t start working until Monday, and Mac’s parents haven’t come by with my pottery things. They’re coming later tonight even though I insisted that I could get them. Not sure how but I didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

  So I’m just breathing. Bored.

  Tanner: Baby sis, you’re all grown up! Woohoo on the move!! I’m actually heading to Miami with some buddies and won’t be back for a bit. See you soon. xP

  I kind of smile. Tanner is my favorite brother. He
actually treats me like a sister instead of a waste of space like Ian does.

  My phone vibrates in my hand again, this time a text from Ian.

  Ian: You’ll just get in the way. Mom and Dad are over.

  My semi-smile fades. Obviously.

  Ian’s daughter, Sadie, is three. I have yet to officially meet her. I’ve only seen the photos on Facebook and the photos our parents have around the house. She is their angel. Everyone’s angel.

  Is it wrong to resent a toddler? I hate myself for even asking that.

  As I begin writing a text back, Ian sends another one.

  Ian: Speaking of the parents, why did you move out? You know they can use the extra money for the mortgage. That was really selfish.

  I drop my arm, speechless.

  I left that house because I wasn’t wanted there. I kept getting in the way after my parents came home. They couldn’t understand why I would walk around the house without my sound processors on. I just needed fifteen minutes of silence to myself before I put them on, and I couldn’t even get that.

  My parents don’t know how to sign. It was just a bunch of eye rolls and moving lips with them.

  We were living in the same house but it felt like we were miles apart.

  I bring my hand back up and type out a text to Ian.

  Me: You’re right. It was selfish. I start hooking tonight to make money.

  I don’t receive a text back telling me not to sell my body to help my parents’ financial problems, and it hurts. I don’t know why I’d expect some brotherly love from a statue.

  I turn and find Mac standing by my open bedroom door, talking to Phoenix. They both stop moving their lips, and glance at me. Mac signs we’re going running, want to join?

  I shake my head instead of signing no, and dive onto my bed, cursing my wishful heart. It’s stupid and cruel and I wish it’d get the fucking message that people don’t want me.

  Mac knows me well enough to know that if I don’t sign back, I want to be alone.

  When I lift my head and look by the door, they’re gone.

  And I cry.

  ***

  After a nice long shower, I head to my room and get dressed for the day. It’s only Saturday and with today and tomorrow my only free days before I start working, I plan on making the most of it. I’ll be working at the Courtyard hotel, a thirty-five minute walk from home. My new home. Mac offered to drive me which would cut that down to a six-minute ride, but he doesn’t have a car. He was going to steal Phoenix’s in the morning just to drop me off, and I’m not comfortable with that. I’ve got legs, I can walk.

  Once my ‘ears’ are on, I head downstairs and gather some lemons to make lemonade. The guys will be back soon and I know I’d kill for some lemonade after running. It’s a beautiful day in late March. Drinking homemade lemonade on the front porch seems lovely.

  Fifteen minutes later, I find three mason jars in one of the cupboards and I fill them up, throwing in a few lemon wedges into each one.

  The front door opens and closes, and I swear I hear something scratching against the floorboards.

  I take slow, measured steps toward the door.

  Something white and brown flies into my legs, causing me to scream. I stumble backwards, hitting something, probably a chair, and then I’m on the kitchen floor. The white ball of fluff finds its way in-between my legs then jumps onto my lap, nuzzling its wet black nose against every surface of my body.

  I’m being attacked by a small dog and I can’t make it stop.

  “Mystique, no! Bad girl. We talked about this.” Large hands appear in my face then they’re on my attacker, pulling her off me.

  The dog barks and thrashes against the man holding her. She kicks her paws out like she’s swimming and I honest to god want to swoon like a little girl because holy shit that is a Shih-Tzu! Brown doll-like eyes are on mine and I feel so stupid for screaming and falling like an idiot.

  “I’m so sorry! Nix always leaves the door unlocked for me.” The guy squats down until we’re eye level. “Mystique loves strangers.” He offers up a crooked smile with perfectly white teeth. He’s so goddamn handsome it hurts to look at him.

  “Who are you?” I ask, eyes darting between him and the dog. I didn’t know anyone was coming over and who the hell leaves the door unlocked? Especially with a deaf girl inside.

  “Nix’s brother, Noland.” He holds out a hand for me to shake. “I come by every weekend.”

  I nod slowly and reach for his outstretched hand. I can’t determine if he’s good people yet; I can usually figure a person out within seconds. More like a few days. He could be lying about being brothers with Phoenix. The dog can be a trick too. Girls like myself love tiny dogs. Break into someone’s house with a cute dog and I’m pretty sure you can come up with any story that seems real. Add in the fact that this guy is freaking hot and girls would fall at his feet just to hear him speak.

  He has the same eyes as Phoenix but seeing as how I haven’t seen the guy without his beard, I can’t really know if they look alike. Men with beards look completely different to men without them. It’s a fact.

  “You’re the chick in the pictures.”

  I blink and tilt my head, confused.

  “MacKay’s girlfriend.”

  “Oh. Yes. No.” Now he tilts his head. I swear even Mystique looks confused. “I’m not Mac’s girlfriend. We’re best friends.”

  The dude’s eyes immediately fall to my chest. All he needed was the magic words and now it’s okay to look. Ugh! Men. So stupid yet so vital to satisfy my needs.

  I scoot back and stand on my own, adjusting my clothes. “I love the dog’s name,” I state. “X-Men fan?”

  He stands and sets Mystique on the floor, commanding her to sit. She still has her leash on so he works his fingers around it and sets her free. She sits in the middle of the kitchen floor with the cutest look on her face.

  “Of course, everyone knows JLaw is hot.” Noland locks eyes on me. “Are you?”

  “Hot?”

  “A fan,” he smirks.

  Ohmygod! Can I turn back time? Please.

  “Oh. Y-yes! Huge fan of Marvel and DC Comics.”

  Noland’s eyes widen. “Please tell me I’m dreaming.”

  I smile awkwardly then grab two mason jars from the counter. “You can have that one,” I mumble before I turn and walk toward the front door. There’s a backpack near the wall that wasn’t there before. Must be the kid’s. His bag to steal things…

  I said I wasn’t good with strangers, right?

  I head down the four steps and step onto the sidewalk, looking for Mac up and down the street. I’m so relieved when I see them turning the corner on Hope Street. Running past the next three houses, they come to a stop, eyeing the mason jars in my hands.

  “Yesssss!” Mac grabs one and kisses my cheek with his sweaty face. “Thank you!” He plucks the other jar from my hand and hands it to Phoenix. “Luna’s lemonade is the best. It’s sweet. Just like her.” He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

  “Thanks. I needed this,” Phoenix says before bringing the jar up to his lips. My eyes follow the path, watching his throat move with each swallow. Who knew drinking lemonade could look so sexy.

  Avert your eyes and focus!

  “So, um, do you have a brother with a dog or did I leave a stranger in the house?”

  “Oh shit! Forgot about him.” Phoenix chugs his leftover lemonade and runs up the steps. “Luna!” he yells before entering the house. I turn around. “This was really good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He enters the house, shutting the door behind him.

  I turn back to Mac, staring at his sweaty t-shirt. “Why don’t you guys run shirtless?”

  He licks his lips and says, “The little old lady who lives on the corner of Cypress thinks we’re flirting with her whenever we do.” He shrugs. “I don’t want to be the reason she dies unexpectedly.”

  “Aw, you’re such a sweetheart.�
� I clutch my heart and make googly eyes at him. “Did you hear about that old lady who died with her vibrator inside of her? Electrocuted he–”

  “Yeah, can you not finish that story.”

  “Fiiiine.”

  Mac holds up the empty mason jar. “This was delicious. Do you have any idea how much I love you? Like, I’ll marry you, love you.”

  I chuckle and take the empty jar. “When we’re sixty, Mac. When we’re sixty.”

  In high school we made a pact. If we’re both single at the age of sixty, we’ll just marry each other because we can deal with the other person. I don’t believe in marriage and all that love crap. Mac wants to enjoy his years before he’s older and needs to stop screwing everything with legs. But we want the world to know we’re not drifting through life alone…so marriage at sixty seemed doable. After we tried and failed to have a relationship in high school, we just made the pact and stayed best friends. A relationship between the two of us could never work. Like, ever. I’m too closed off with my girly feelings. Complete relationship killer.

  When we enter the house, Mystique comes crashing into our feet. Mac picks her up and snuggles with her as he walks into the kitchen. He opens a cupboard and takes out a box of dog treats.

  I stare at him quizzically because one, I didn’t know this house carries dog treats, and two, Mac thinks little dogs are for pussies. His words. He prefers huskies and pitbulls. And seeing him holding Mystique, talking to her like she’s a baby, seems out of this world.

  He looks over his shoulder at me with the biggest smile on his lips.

  Mystique barks and moves around in his arms, looking for the treat he just pulled out. When he gives it to her, he sets her down and walks toward me. “I’m going to shower when Nix is done. His brother comes over to do homework but he gets distracted easily. Can you keep an eye on him until one of us comes down?”