Inside Game

by Collette West

"No, no…nothing like that." Dad shakes his head. "At least, not after this little arrangement with the Kings wraps up. You're free to live as you'd like. In the beginning, I'd like you to come see me at my office at Harbor House at least once a day. You don't need an appointment. You can just stop by whenever you'd like. When you're on the road with the team, I'll expect you to keep in touch with me either by phone or video chat, whatever's easier for you. But I'm determined to put the time in to make it work, as long as you are."

  "I am, sir," he replies, his politeness returning.

  "Good! Then how about we get our bags unpacked and settle in for the night? You must be exhausted after such a long trip. I'll order some takeout, and the two of you can tell me all about your day," he says, seamlessly slipping into "Dad mode."

  He gathers his things and heads toward an empty bedroom on Drake's side of the suite.

  Dad managed to cool Drake down for now, but how long will it last?

  Chapter Thirty

  Eva

  I wake up the next morning to my phone ringing next to the bed. I push my hair out of my face and look to see who it is.

  Karolina.

  What a way to start the day. She didn't waste any time getting back to me after I'd texted her last night to call me this morning. I say a silent prayer that all goes well before picking up. I know how much the girls' being at the game means to Drake, so I really need her to cooperate.

  "Hi, Karolina. Thanks for calling me back," I answer, putting as much enthusiasm into it as I can.

  But her greeting to me is anything but encouraging. "Eva, why didn't you warn me that he was back in town?"

  I scramble to collect my thoughts. "Wait…What?" I sputter like an idiot.

  "He came over here like a madman, demanding to see the girls," she fumes. "Then he got into it with Tanner and—"

  "Karolina, hold up. You're saying that Drake is at your apartment…right now?" I ask, trying to put all the pieces together.

  "No, he left about five minutes ago. I kicked him out after he slugged Tanner and stormed back to the girls' bedrooms, scaring the heck out of them." There's a hysterical edge to Karolina's voice now like she doesn't know whether to keep screaming at me or burst into tears.

  I think back to the night Drake and I spent together in the woods. I saw how shaken up Mama had made him feel—the same way he must be feeling now after Karolina kicked him out. Then, I was able to comfort him and show him just how much he was loved.

  Because I couldn't resist any longer…

  But last night, I told him that we needed to sleep in separate beds, and he didn't like it, feeling like I was rejecting him too. But I made the conscious decision to pull back for a while—at least until he makes it through such a critical stage in his recovery. He didn't sleep well the night before with me curled up beside him, and he needs his rest to keep his strength up and his head clear. Right now, his number-one priority is to focus on the game and finding his footing again as a player, but most importantly, he needs to repair the strained relationships with his teammates in the Kings' clubhouse. That's why I had to let what happened between us at the campsite remain just a one-time thing for now, especially with my dad staying in the suite with us.

  But now that I'm waking up in this bed without having him next to me, it suddenly feels like a very bad idea.

  "Was he alone?" I question Karolina, desperately needing some answers.

  "Yes! Unless there was someone waiting down in the lobby for him," she cries, getting even more upset. "Chase told me the Kings were supposed to have a security guard watching him, that he wouldn't be able to pull something like this."

  "They do." I press my hand against my forehead, wondering how this could've happened. "My dad's in the room next to his. I don't know how he managed to slip out of here."

  "So now, he could be roaming the city high as a kite for all you know!" she exclaims loudly in my ear.

  "Let me find out what's going on and get back to you. I'm so sorry this happened, Karolina," I reply, trying to placate her in order to get off the phone and find out where the hell he is.

  "Well, you can forget about Willa and Coco going to his stupid game, because it's not going to happen," she snaps, her motherly instincts firing on all cylinders. "I'm not going to reward behavior like this when he comes over to my apartment and disrupts my family."

  The girls are still his family too, but I don't think arguing with her is going to get me anywhere at this point. Drake just blew a golden opportunity to get things back on track with his ex, and it makes me want to strangle him with my bare hands. Why would he go over there and do something like this? But more importantly, where is he now?

  "I hope they boo his good-for-nothing ass out of the stadium! And you can tell him I said that when you finally find him passed out in a gutter somewhere!" she declares before soundly hanging up on me.

  I take a deep breath before rushing out of bed.

  "Dad?" I call out. "Dad, are you here?" I quickly pad to the other side of the suite.

  There's no answer, and the beating of my heart only increases. Oh God, he's not here, either. I can only hope he's with Drake.

  I stare down at the phone in my hand and hurriedly scroll through my list of contacts to the number Diane gave me for Drake—the one I haven't had to use because, up until now, I've been smart enough to never let him out of my sight. I press the call button, praying that he'll answer. But it just rings and rings. He even has the voicemail turned off.

  I hang up and frantically tap my thumb on the screen, hitting Dad's name.

  Right when I'm about to hyperventilate, he finally picks up.

  "Hello…Eva?"

  "Dad, have you seen Drake?" I ask, panicked. "Please tell me he's with you."

  "Eva, relax. We went for an early morning stroll through Central Park together to clear out all the cobwebs," he replies like nothing's wrong, his no-frills account not jiving with Karolina's at all.

  "So, he's with you now?" I ask, starting to breathe a little easier even though I'm more confused than ever.

  "He said his hip was hurting him so I brought him back before I went to pick up a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts for us"—he pauses, most likely checking his watch—"probably close to an hour ago."

  "You brought him back to the Roosevelt Building?" I repeat.

  "I put him on the elevator and everything."

  "But you didn't take him to the door of the suite yourself?"

  "No," he admits, breathing more heavily when he realizes something's majorly wrong. "Why? Isn't he there with you?"

  I glance wildly around the empty suite, and the room starts to spin. Dad's not with him, which means Drake's out there alone, doing God knows what.

  "No," I respond shakily. "He must've gotten off on another floor and come right back down after you left. The security guard didn't raise the alarm because he thought he was still with you."

  "Eva, I can't believe this."

  I hear the spare change jingling in his pocket like he's sprinting down the sidewalk, realizing he of all people has been duped.

  "I should've seen it coming. I should've—"

  "You always said he was a master manipulator," I groan, wishing with all my might that this weren't happening. "He even fooled you."

  "And we had such a good talk this morning," he sighs, and I know he's beating himself up over it. "He opened up about the girls and the strides he was taking to become more of a positive influence in their lives. I thought I really got through to him…encouraging him to reach out to them and—"

  "Well, he must've really listened to you, because that's exactly where he went. To see the girls…and all hell broke loose. Karolina just called me. And now, he's out there alone and—"

  "We'll find him," Dad says in that confident tone that never failed to bolster my confidence in the past, but I'm finding it all but impossible to take comfort in it now. "I'm on my way. We'll come up with a plan of attack as soon as I get there. Just hold tight.
"

  "Okay," I whisper into the phone, not wanting him to feel any worse about this than he already does. "Bye, Dad."

  But I know that whatever ideas we come up with will be useless. Drake is the one who needs to contact us. He could be anywhere in the city by now, and there's nothing he cherishes more than his freedom.

  I glance down at my phone, and a thought strikes me. I don't want to do this, but he's left me with no other choice. I find the number I'm looking for and hit it before I can change my mind. When a voice greets me at the other end, I don't even wait to say hello. I get right to the matter at hand.

  "Diane, it's Eva. I really need your help."

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Drake

  I wait in the back alley behind Rosewood like the goddamned junkie I am.

  After paying a visit to Penn Station, I retrieved an old burner phone from one of the rental lockers. I wrestled with myself, riding over here on my Harley while waiting for the battery to charge. But in the end, I caved. All it took was a quick text to one of Mama's boys to hook me up with what I've been craving.

  I'd do anything to feel confident and relaxed. No worries. No pressure. No confusion. Where the world can stop so I can find some sense of peace inside my head.

  I'm ready to go on a total bender—a day-long binge that will take me away from it all.

  I know there's going to be hell to pay. Mama's going to expect to be compensated for this little favor, and I'm not talking about the hefty wad of cash I intend on slipping her delivery boy. She's going to own me lock, stock, and barrel now. There's no way around it. I'll be back working with Terry, getting the PED train rolling again. There'll be no jumping off this time. I'll be hog-tied to the engine, and if it derails, I'll be the first one destroyed by the impact.

  Eva's face passes through my mind, but I can't think about her now. She tried her best with me, but I can never be the man she needs me to be.

  I heard her and her father talking about me before I entered the suite last night, and something he told her really undermined my confidence.

  He said that I was "just like Jared."

  I never had the courage to ask her about Jared, realizing he must've been someone very important in her life. I'm jealous of the hold he still has on her. Because what if I can't compete with what they had? I can't stomach the thought that maybe I'm not enough for her, that maybe she'll always want more, want what I can't give her. Even if he was just some asshole who broke her heart.

  Because let's face it. I'll always be the cokehead whose own daughters aren't allowed to see him. I can't believe I went over there, thinking things could be different when Tanner wouldn't even let them come out and talk to me. That's why I barged in on them. Not to scare them, but to let them know how much I love them, how much I've missed them. I wanted to invite them to the game myself, not have their mother tell them that they had to go. But they cowered in fear, huddled together in Coco's room, after they'd seen me hit Tanner.

  And it felt like a sharp blow to the gut to see how my two girls were afraid of me.

  I didn't mean to raise my voice. I didn't mean to punch fuckin' Tanner in the nose. It all just seemed to snowball as soon as I'd heard Karolina's whiny voice telling me all the things I hadn't wanted to hear. That she's marrying that loser because I can't be the kind of father our girls need.

  That's why Eva needs to let go and realize she's better off without me. That's why I'm here, throwing my hard-won sobriety away. Because I'm doomed to suffer for the rest of my life. My sins will never be forgiven, and I don't want her wallowing in my misery, paying for my mistakes.

  I hear a car door slam, and the yellow trunk of a taxi appears at the end of the alley. Mama's boys usually travel on foot to avoid detection. I've been out of the game for a few months, but I wouldn't think she'd want any of her dealers appearing on a cab's closed-circuit camera right before a drop. And he's stopping right in front of Rosewood? Dwight said that one of Mama's other runners had been busted here not too long ago. Is this guy an idiot or what?

  I grind my teeth, ready to lay into this asshole for leaving such an incriminating trail of evidence to follow. Any prosecutor would have a field day connecting the dots that lead up to this highly illegal transaction. But I still don't care enough to walk away. My body wants the hit too damn much.

  I peer over, and my jaw drops when I see who's standing at the top of the alley.

  "Get out of here!" I growl. "Get out of here now!"

  "I'm not going anywhere," Eva replies, jogging swiftly toward me.

  "How did you even know I was here?" I spit out, anxiously glancing behind her.

  "You're not as smart as you think you are," she sasses back, getting even closer to me.

  "Stay away!" I warn her again. "You shouldn't be here."

  "Keep talking, because I'm not going anywhere," she says, striding past me and kneeling before my bike.

  "What are you doing?" I cry out, thinking she's about to puncture the tire or something so I can't get away.

  She sticks her fingers under the rim until she's holding a tiny, metallic disk in her hand. My heart sinks when I realize what it is.

  "I thought you said no one knew where we were the whole time we were on the road." I glare at her.

  "You don't get the right to be mad." She comes at me, jabbing her finger into my chest.

  "So, that whole line about being honest with each other was all a big front?" I take the disk out of her hand and hurl it on the ground, rendering the GPS tracker useless.

  "It wasn't put on your bike until last night. I had nothing to do with it." She stares up at me, the hurt in her eyes cutting right through me. "When I called Diane this morning, praying that she'd somehow be able to help me find you, she told me she'd had one of the guys on her security team do it, and thank God she did."

  "Why?" I shrug. "Wasn't it obvious I'd return to the scene of the crime?"

  "Funny, I didn't know you liked to shoot up in dirty, disgusting alleyways."

  "If the shoe fits."

  "Stop lying!" She marches toward me until my back is against the brick wall. "That's not who you are—not anymore!"

  "It's who I always was. You just never wanted to see it," I mutter, cringing at her pained expression, but I carry on, needing to say this. "I'll never be good enough for you, for my daughters, for anybody. Just let me go, Eva. You gave it your best shot, but it's over now. You saw where I come from. No matter what I do or how I act, I'll always be the scum of the earth. I am who I am, and there's nothing you or anybody else can do to change that."

  "Stop saying things like that!" She presses her hands against my shoulders. "Because I know you don't want to do this. You're just scared."

  "Scared…of what?" I demand.

  "Living the rest of your life having to depend on yourself and not the drugs," she replies, glancing up at me with a steady gaze. "This is where it gets real. No more running. This is your crossroads. Either you commit to the new path you're on or you don't." She shakes me hard by my shoulders. "So tell me. What's it going to be?"

  She's waiting for me to give her an answer, and I already know in my heart what it is. There's no denying my true self to her. She'll find out my real feelings eventually.

  "Eva, I'm—"

  "Ah, there you are. I've been looking all up and down the block for you, boy."

  My spine stiffens when I realize we're not alone anymore. I whirl around and see that it's Mama's dealer, and he has three tough-looking thugs with him. I look down at Eva. There's no time to waste. I have to get her out of here—now.

  "Well then, why don't you step aside so this little lady can be on her way?" I lay my down-home accent on extra thick. "We're just finishing up here."

  "Not a chance." The dealer shakes his head at me. "Drake, Mama said we're to treat you to something awfully special for coming back into the fold—not that she expects you to remain there long. She took such good care of your cousin, Dwight, that no one's seen him s
ince."

  My eyes go wide when he pulls a syringe out of his pocket, squirting some of the excess out of the top. The liquid is a dark-amber color, and the number of CCs is nearly double the amount of any hit I've ever injected.

  This isn't a routine coke drop. It's a death sentence. Because Mama doesn't forgive. Oh, no. She intends to make me pay the ultimate price for walking away from her, for turning Dwight against her. By standing up to her, I've put her tight-fisted control over the whole drug-trafficking operation at risk. She's sending a message to all of her subordinates that this is what happens to those who cross her, even her own son.

  "Now, Drake, I know you usually like to snort it up, pig that you are, but seeing as we bumped into this pretty little thing along with you, how about giving her a little taste test to get things started? Just to see how strong this shit really is. Besides, I know your Mama would want me to share her generous bounty with your lady love as well. And let me tell you, this here is going to shoot through her veins like a forest fire spreading through a brush-filled holler."

  "Don't you dare go near her!"

  I will not stand by and watch this happen. I may have messed up my life beyond repair, but I'm not going to see hers ruined as well. I let the woman I love walk into a situation like this so I could get high. That's how pathetic and selfish I am. There's no way in hell I'm letting a drop of whatever that is enter her body.

  I take one step toward the little kingpin, and two of his brutes come at me. I raise my fists ready to ward them off. I should be able to take them. They're bigger than I am, but I'm faster. I'm feeling confident until one of them scissor-kicks me to the face like a ninja, a move I wasn't anticipating from someone of his massive size. I double over, and the other goon quickly pins my arms behind my back. Eva screams, and I force my head up, watching her try to gouge the eyes out of the third guy until he subdues her and drags her to where the ringleader is standing—by her hair.

  Her gorgeous, raven hair…

  Just the thought of him hurting her sends me into a frenzy. I struggle against the hold he has on me, not caring if I rip my arms out of their sockets. He fights to keep me restrained, but I manage to buck him off. When I see the other one stalk toward me, I hurl myself forward, throwing my body between Eva and the goddamned needle.