Hidden Monster

by Amanda Strong

  ***

  Since Jeremy was quiet, I decided to dive into the uncomfortable silence and explain how I wasn’t ready for a relationship right now. I knew it was an excuse. Truth was, I didn’t want anything to do with Jeremy anymore, but I didn’t have the heart to say it.

  He didn’t buy it. “Explain Blake then,” he retorted.

  “What do you mean? Blake’s my friend.”

  “Oh yes, friend. You like that one, don’t you? First Mack, now Blake.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes at him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ve put up with your thing with Mack, but I won’t with Blake,” he spat back.

  “Okay, this is ridiculous!” I said, losing patience. “First of all, it’s really none of your business anymore who I’m friends with. You ended us, remember? And as for Mack, we’ve been friends since we were kids. Besides, we hardly ever do anything together anymore!”

  He sputtered. “You’re kidding, right? You take off with him all the time. Or used to, before… well, you know… this summer. You’d be gone all day and not answer your phone. Then I’d see you together at the mall or at some store.”

  I racked my brain. For some reason, I had no memory of what he was talking about. All I did know was that he was sounding very much like a stalker right now.

  I decided to change the subject. “Well, Blake and Mack are my friends. I don’t know why you are giving me such a hard time anyway. I didn’t mind you dancing with Monica tonight.”

  Jeremy glanced over and sighed. “Well, I guess I might as well tell you. Monica and I dated after I broke up with you. I kept it quiet, mainly because I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to end us. After I saw you back at school, I knew it’d been a mistake. I told Monica I was taking you back. She was pretty mad about it all.”

  I glared at him. Of course you assumed you could just take me back. Ugh. And no wonder Monica gave me dirty looks all night! She probably asked Mack out just so she could be near you.

  “You never even asked me if I wanted to be with you again. You just assumed I did, and you told everyone I was still your girlfriend.”

  “I thought you were the same; I didn’t know you changed so much.”

  What an arrogant… I thought of a host of dirty names, all of which Blake would’ve loved. Why couldn’t he get it through his thick skull? I didn’t want to be with him because he was a jerk—not because the cabin experience changed me.

  I fumed inside, debating if I should say anything else. Thankfully, we pulled into my driveway, and I undid my seatbelt. He shoved the car into park and reached for his door.

  “Don’t bother. You don’t need to walk me to the door.” I jumped out.

  Jeremy’s eyes widened and then to my surprise, his shoulders slumped. “So this is goodbye then?”

  Uh, yeah! “Afraid so. Night, Jeremy. Sorry I changed too much for you.”

  He shook his head. “Hope you’re happier with Blake. Maybe he can handle your crazy.”

  I slammed the car door shut, trying to ignore his last jab. Poking my head into my parents’ bedroom, I informed them I had fun but was tired and going to bed. Leaning my forehead against my door, I exhaled slowly. With the tense ride home, I’d temporarily forgotten about my much larger problem. I had wings. As if sensing my attention, they fluttered back at me.

  What was I going to do? Who knew when and if they’d ever go away? I’d made it through the dance, but what about tomorrow? What then? I’d have to tell my parents the truth. They wouldn’t exactly believe I loved my Halloween costume enough to never take if off again. I braced myself for what would follow the discovery. It would be more than national news; it’d be world news. I shuddered. My wings wiggled back at me.

  I glanced over my shoulder at them. My heart felt heavy. “What am I supposed to do with you?” I whispered.

  I sensed their answer. It screamed inside my soul. Fly.

  “All right, I give. Let’s see what you got.”

  My wings needed no more urging. I was airborne instantly, my wings a blur of silver. Within seconds, I realized my room was too cramped; I knocked my lamp over and slammed into my mirror. I hovered by my window, debating. The desire overwhelmed me, my fingers itching to unlatch the lock.

  What if someone sees me? I forced myself to land, taking deep, slow breaths to calm my rapid heartbeat. I crawled on my bed, laying my head on my pillow. Wonder what Blake would think if I showed up at his window like this? I giggled and then sobered. Tomorrow loomed before me like a chasm. My life had been anything but normal up until now, but somehow, I knew all of that would pale in comparison to what awaited me at dawn