Hidden Monster

by Amanda Strong

I let the hot water wash away everything. All the blood and dirt swirled down the drain. I purposely enjoyed a long shower, knowing Mack had to fly to my house, sneak in, and get my clothes. When the water started to turn cold, I shut it off with the guilty realization that Mack still needed one to.

  I dried off, wrapped the towel around my body, and poked my head out the door.

  “Mack?” I called quietly, just in case someone had come home.

  I peered around the room. No one was there. I shut the bathroom door, deciding I’d wait in here. The minutes ticked by. What’s taking him so long? Oh, please don’t tell me my parents caught him up in my room!

  Getting anxious and impatient, I decided to try something. I stared at my reflection, my blonde hair dripping on my shoulders. Okay, here it goes…

  I shut my eyes and focused on brown hair. That was all I could remember from her. I felt my body shift, the towel loosening under my armpits. I peeked at the mirror and gasped.

  I was no longer me! I had shoulder-length, brunette hair, bright green eyes, and a freckled nose. I smiled at my reflection, pretty, not movie star hot, but nice looking.

  I took the towel off. I was wearing those same jeans and T-shirt from before, no wings. This is so weird. So who am I? I’d seen one picture of Blake’s nephew when Blake had come over to my house. But I’d never seen her before.

  I heard some noises in Mack’s bedroom and decided he must be back. I opened the door to see Mack reappearing, holding my clothes.

  “Hey,” I said as he turned around to face me.

  “Sammy?” His mouth went slack, and his eyes widened.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I reassured him. “I wanted to try this out again, only wish I knew who this was.”

  “You don’t know?” he asked, his tone seeming surprised.

  “No, I have no idea.”

  Mack set my clothes down on his bed and then moved to his dresser. He pulled open his top drawer, riffled through the socks, and then retrieved a small photo. He held it out to me.

  “Maybe this will help you,” he said, his voice soft.

  I stared at the photo in my hands. I recognized the girl only because I currently was her. I raked my brain, trying to think if I’d seen her before. Nothing came to mind.

  I shook my head. “I don’t remember. Who is this?”

  “You really don’t know, do you?” His words seemed like they were more for himself. Was I imagining the pain I saw in his expression?

  “What’s going on, Mack? Tell me why I should know her.”

  He shook his head and then sat down on his bed, sighing. Something about his demeanor made me feel sad inside. Always the lighthearted of the two of us, I’d never seen my friend so distraught. I moved to sit next to him, reaching over to take his hand in mine.

  I wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew, Mack’s lips landed on mine. Shocked, I wanted to shout, What on earth are you doing? But there was a part of me that liked it. My hand slipped behind his neck and, dumbfounded by my own actions, I began kissing him back.

  He wrapped me up in his arms, his kisses turning more intense. There was something so familiar about Mack’s touch. But this isn’t right! I stopped letting him cradle me, and began pushing against his chest.

  I turned my neck, pulling my lips away. “No, wait.”

  He jerked away fast, jumping off the bed.

  I stared at him, confused at what just happened. Had he wanted that? Or was it just one of those weird moments? He ran his hands through his hair, not making eye contact. When he began pacing the floor, I had the feeling that this wasn’t a random act. Maybe he likes me. Something inside me stirred. My heart ached to see him upset.

  “Mack, stop,” I said, standing up.

  To my surprise, he stepped further away, continuing his pacing. “No, no, no,” he mumbled. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”

  “What are you talking about? Kissing me? Mack, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad,” I said, reaching out to touch him.

  Breathing hard, he glanced over at me, and I saw the torture in his eyes. “Samantha, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  I stared at him. “Oh come on, Mack, was it that bad?” I teased. “Hey, we’ve been best friends forever. Sometimes, these things just happen.”

  He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. It won’t happen again.”

  “Mack, I had no idea how you really felt. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He met my gaze. “I did, but you don’t remember.”

  “What? When?” I asked, an uneasiness creeping into my stomach.

  He pointed at the picture I held in my hand. “That girl was some random picture you found. You hated looking like your family. You told me you’d rather look like her.”

  “Mack, what are you talking about? I don’t remember any of this!”

  Instead of answering, he took one step closer to me. “Sammy.” His voice was low. “Say something. I need to know. I can’t go on like this. Is it really over?”

  I bit my lip. I wanted to remain friends. I didn’t want to lose him in my life. Everything was happening too fast. “It doesn’t have to be over.”

  “But you don’t love me? You love Blake?”

  “I… I am in love with Blake,” I answered, my voice catching in my throat. I didn’t want to hurt my friend. Why did that stupid kiss have to happen? Then I realized Mack was in love with me. Kiss or not, this was bound to happen eventually. That’s why Kate and he understand one another.

  “I’m so confused. I always thought you wanted Jen. I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Mack.”

  Without thinking, I tried to hug him, but he recoiled from me, jumping away like he was made of springs.

  “You shouldn’t hug me, Samantha. You’re with Blake.”

  “I can hug friends,” I protested, annoyed he kept calling me Samantha. “Kissing, maybe not.” I hoped he’d laugh, but he didn’t. He resumed pacing the floor, his agitated manner unsettling.

  “Can we at least talk about this?” I asked.

  When he didn’t say anything, I wondered when he had told me of his feelings. I had no memory of it at all. Did I say I liked him back?

  About to ask him, something struck me odd about his behavior. He paced, hands clasped together, taking six step forward, and six steps back. The hairs on my neck rose. No… it can’t be…

  I gasped, and his eyes riveted on me.

  “I can’t believe it… I won’t believe it!” I stammered. I backed away from him, as he was ironically moving closer to me now.

  “Sammy?” he asked, his hand reaching out. “Do you remember now?”

  I gaped at him. “Oh, I remember,” I whispered. “I remember that pacing. It was you, wasn’t it? You were in the cabin!”

  I wanted to bolt, but I was so shocked that I remained planted where I stood.

  Mack’s expression turned contrite. “Sammy, wait, you don’t understand.”

  “How could you do that to me? You were the one person I always trusted! You did all that so I’d fall in love with you?”

  He closed the gap between us, grabbing my arms. “I could only hope and dream you would love me one day. You have to believe me; I never wanted to go through with it. It was all her idea.”

  “Who, Mack? Enough with the games. I need answers!” I shook his arms free of me. Then it occurred to me. “Was it Kate who put you up to it?”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t just Kate.” Mack hesitated. “It was Sammy’s idea.”

  I wanted to punch him. “This was my idea? Are you insane! I know you expect me to believe a lot of things that I don’t remember, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t abduct myself!”

  “No, but it’s time you know the truth. You aren’t Sammy. She’s,” his voice cracked, “long gone.”