by Soraya Lane
But still, it didn’t change the way she thought. There was no room in her mind or her heart to take any risks where men were concerned.
“Hey, Tommy?” Gabby asked from the backseat.
Caitlin watched as his eyebrows rose, waiting for the question that was sure to follow.
“Yeah?” he asked back.
“I think you promised that I could have ice cream before dinner tonight.” Gabby was giggling now, looking at him in the rearview mirror.
Tom put on a stern face. Gabby was still laughing, but Caitlin wasn’t convinced, and didn’t know what was going on.
He pulled over, before turning in his seat and staring long and hard at Gabby.
“Did I or did I not tell you to keep that a secret?” he demanded, voice low and gravelly. “Gabby Cartwright, answer me this minute!”
Caitlin’s heart started to pound in fright; her hands became clammy. She was trapped, felt that she couldn’t move, wasn’t in control. Wanted to do something and was paralyzed from action.
“Gabby?” he growled.
A high-pitched trill of laughter filled the car, verging on squealing. “Tommy!”
Tom pulled a face before opening his door, but not before he grinned at Caitlin. “I know you’re her teacher and you’re probably going to tell me off, but I did promise her ice cream before dinner. You know, trying to be the favorite uncle and all.”
“You’re my only uncle, Tommy,” Gabby piped up.
Caitlin nodded, it was all she could do. Tried to make her relieved smile appear stronger than it felt, needing a moment to let blood pump back through her leeched-dry veins.
Gabby and Tommy got out of the car, but it wasn’t until he opened her door that she followed—prised her fingers from the seat and forced her legs to cooperate.
They were at the ice cream shop. She turned her head slowly, could see the pink lettering glittering in the near-dark. But her heart was still pounding.
She knew it was stupid—she could see them holding hands, was watching as Tom poked at Gabby and had her leaping around and laughing, but for a moment there she’d almost lost it.
Because she hadn’t known they were joking around. Had thought she was about to witness something she didn’t ever want to see again.
Because she knew firsthand what it felt like to be spoken to like that, only without the laughter and jokes at the end.
When it had happened to her, that kind of seriousness, that type of conversation had never ended in ice cream.
“Caitlin?” Tom looked concerned. Gabby was watching her, too. “You all right?”
She closed the car door and fixed her smile again. “Sorry, I was a million miles away.”
Tom slung his arm around his niece and waited for her to catch up. “My shout.”
And just like that, Caitlin found herself having ice cream before dinner with a man she’d thought this morning that she’d never see again, and one of her favorite little students.
* * *
Tom passed Gabby her ice cream before reaching for the single scoop of chocolate Caitlin had ordered. “Enjoy.”
Her fingers brushed his as she took it from him. “I can’t believe you two talked me into this.”
Tom liked her smile, liked the fact that nothing about her seemed put on. “Believe me…the things that this girl makes me do.”
Gabby was licking furiously at her ice cream, completely ignoring him.
“It’s nice that you’re so close to her.”
That made him look up. “She’s pretty special to me, to all of us.”
Caitlin waited. He liked that about her, too, that she didn’t feel the need to press for information like some people did. He hated being quizzed when he didn’t want to talk about something, but he was finding with her that he was opening his mouth and spilling his stories before he even had a chance to think about it.
That needed to stop.
“We kind of made a pact, the three of us, when Gabby was born,” he told her. It wasn’t something they ever spoke about, had never needed to talk about again, because they were all committed to making sure she was the happiest little girl around. “There was a time when Gabby’s mom and dad both had to serve at the same time, and I was always there to step in, although her grandmother, my mom, she’s great with her, too.”
“Were you scared something would happen to them? That she could end up with—” Caitlin paused and lowered her voice, although Gabby was walking far enough ahead not to hear their conversation “—no parents?”
Tom felt a catch in his throat. “Yeah.”
Caitlin’s fingers fell over his forearm, rested there for a moment as they walked. “You’re very brave, Tom.”
He forced himself to look up. Not to shrug away the contact until she let her hand fall away of its own accord, not to recoil at her words. He sure as hell didn’t feel like he deserved the brave tag.
“Do you mean for serving in the Navy or for looking after her?” He had to ask, had to know what she was thinking.
Caitlin’s eyes met his, her gaze fluttering as if she found it difficult to hold the contact. “Both. But what I meant was that not many men are that committed to a child, especially to a niece or nephew.” She blew out a breath. “Hell, half the dads I meet seem to be less committed to their own children.”
Tom relaxed, was pleased they were still talking about kids, that she hadn’t tried to flip the subject back to his work. To that kind of bravery.
Caitlin looked fragile enough to snap beneath the weight of harsh words, and he didn’t exactly find it easy to bite his tongue these days. Not when it came to his work or what had happened to end his career.
“There was always the chance that one of us wouldn’t make it home,” he told Caitlin, suddenly wanting to talk, wanting to get the words off his chest. “I wanted my brother to know that I’d always step in, wouldn’t hesitate to fill his shoes if I had to. And Penny—” He paused, not able to help but smile. “Penny’s like the sister I never had. She’s pretty special to me.”
His eyes darted back to Caitlin, to see the look on her face, needing to see her reaction. The response was warm, a soft acknowledgment by way of a gentle blink, a curve of her lips in one corner, before she turned her attention back to her ice cream.
Tom didn’t know why, or how, but there was something about Gabby’s teacher that was pulling him in, reeling him like a fish resigned to being caught on a line. Maybe it was just because she was so good at her job, was skilled at playing the kind, caring teacher, at getting people to open up.
But something else, some whisper of a voice in his mind, told him that her being a teacher had nothing to do with it.
That he needed to back off now if he ever wanted a chance of escape.
* * *
Caitlin didn’t like to be confused. Ever. And tonight she was more confused than she’d ever been.
Tom was being sweet, kind…verging on downright charming, but she had no idea where he was going with it. Was he trying to impress her? She didn’t think so. Or maybe she just didn’t want it to be so.
There was something about him that unnerved her, that was rattling her like a key chain blowing in the wind, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. He was troubled, sure. There were things he was obviously holding tight to his chest. But he was honest, she’d give him that. From the expression she’d seen more than once in his eyes, from the way he looked at Gabby, she doubted he was any good at lying.
Although maybe that was just a by-product of his special-forces training. After all, she didn’t exactly have a great track record when it came to judging men.
“Penny for them?”
She laughed at his old-fashioned saying. “You caught me dreaming again.”
He opened the back door for Gabby, and then the front one for her. Caitlin wasn’t even sure a guy had ever opened a door for her before and yet Tom was already making a habit of it.
“You sure it’s okay to take me all the way hom
e?”
His eyebrows nudged together as he frowned. “Like I’m gonna buy you an ice cream then make you find your own way to your place?”
Caitlin laughed. His expression was so comical she couldn’t do anything but laugh. “Okay, okay. I don’t like being a burden, that’s all.”
From the look on his face, he didn’t think she was a burden.
And from the look of it, he was struggling with what to say, how to behave, as much as she was. Could he honestly be as unused to attention from the opposite sex as she was? Caitlin sure doubted it. She’d perfected her look, a back-off way of staring at guys who so much as threatened to show interest in her. Tom’s body language was closed, but he sure didn’t have a stay-away vibe, not in that way.
“Miss Rose, do you have a husband?”
Caitlin coughed, tried not to inhale ice cream up her nose as she spluttered. Where the heck had that question come from?
“Gabby!” Tom scolded. “That’s not a polite question.”
Caitlin didn’t turn to look, couldn’t even brave a glance at Tom. But she wasn’t going to let Gabby get in trouble for being inquisitive. Didn’t she always tell her class the importance of asking questions? Maybe she needed to remind them of what types of questions were appropriate, though!
“It’s fine, Tom. It doesn’t matter.”
“So do you?” Gabby asked.
“Gabriella!” Tom’s voice boomed through the car.
No, thought Caitlin. No, she didn’t. But the thought of saying that in front of Tom scared her, made her want to wrench the car door open and run. Because she’d built a fort around herself, never made herself available in any way, and she sure as heck wasn’t ready for that to change.
“Sorry,” Gabby said, sounding unsure why she had to apologize. “It’s just that Tommy doesn’t have a wife and Mommy is always saying that he needs a ‘nice girl to settle down with.’”
Caitlin fought the urge not to laugh at Gabby’s put-on voice and failed miserably. One look at Tom and he was in hysterics, too, laughter ringing through the car. Jokes she could handle. Jokes were safe.
“A nice girl, huh?” She couldn’t stop the smirk that settled on her face when she found her voice again.
Tom glared at her, but that only made them both laugh again. “Don’t kids say the darnedest things?” Only this time his gaze hinted at a seriousness below the surface, and she wondered if Tom was after a nice girl, or if it was just his sister-in-law wanting him to find one.
Either way, it meant nothing to her. She wasn’t interested in a relationship, and Tom wasn’t her type.
What she couldn’t understand was why talking about Tom like that had sent an itch under her skin that she couldn’t dislodge.
CHAPTER THREE
“SO you’re telling me that nothing happened?”
Caitlin sighed into the lukewarm coffee she was nursing. “Correct.”
Her friend and fellow teacher sighed dramatically. “Look me in the eye and tell me,” Lucy demanded.
Caitlin wasn’t lying. She was dreadful at keeping secrets, but she was guilty of one thing.
“I promise nothing happened,” she said, raising her eyes and shrugging. “Seriously.”
Lucy tucked her legs up beneath her, curled like a cat on the sofa. “But you wanted something to happen, right?”
Heat burst onto Caitlin’s cheeks as she sipped her now almost-cold coffee, trying to avoid Lucy’s gaze. “I agree that he’s kind of cute, but he’s not really my type. And seriously, Lucy, what was going to happen in a class full of six-year-olds?”
The groan she received in response told her she’d given the wrong answer.
“He’s every girl’s type, Caitlin.” Lucy stood up and stretched. “Either you’ve got rocks in your head or you’ve gone blind. I saw him leave your class yesterday and he’s hot, hot, hot.” Lucy waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Don’t give me that rubbish about being in a classroom either, because I know you walked him out. It’s about time you gave a guy a shot. One day you might just surprise yourself.”
Okay, so Tom was hot. Gorgeous in fact. Sexy as hell. But it still didn’t mean she was capable of liking him in that way. And if he’d been interested in her, surely he’d have made a move by now? Guys like Tom were used to playing the game, knew how to attract a girl and how to reel her in.
Which was another reason she wasn’t interested in him.
“I’ve got to get back to class,” Caitlin said, raising her fingers in a wave and scurrying toward the door. “And nothing happened, okay? I mean, jeez, I only just met the man. I was hardly going to jump him in the hall!”
“Admit it, Miss Rose,” Lucy called out, voice all prim and proper. “There’s nothing about him not to like and you know it.”
She ignored Lucy and kept on walking. That part her friend was wrong about. Caitlin had perfectly good reasons for not being interested in Tom, for wanting to keep her distance from him, she just had no intention of sharing them. Of delving into the past and letting those feelings resurface.
Not now.
Besides, she was happy. Liked her life the way it was. If a man came along to tempt her, he’d have to be perfect husband material. And Tom Cartwright sure as heck didn’t fit the bill.
“Miss Rose, Miss Rose!”
She looked up to find a little girl from her class jumping up and down in the hallway. “Honey, what’s wrong?” Caitlin bent to talk to her, preferring to be on the same level as the children.
“Sarah fell over in the playground and hurt her knee. She’s crying.”
Caitlin took the girl’s hand and let herself be led outside. “You did the right thing, sweetheart, let’s go find her.”
* * *
Tom found it hard to indulge in the simpleness of guzzling water on a hot day. He’d spent so long rationing every sip, being so careful to preserve what he’d come to think of as his lifeline. Yet here he was, back on American soil, gulping water as though he had an endless supply of it.
He stopped and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
It suddenly hit him as if he’d been slammed into a wall—a solid, massive brick wall.
He was back for good. There were no more rations, no more missions. Nada. He was back now and he had to lump it or leave it. Or however the hell that saying went.
“Sir?”
Tom turned, bottle almost squashed in his hand, the plastic pressed tight between his fingers. He paused, wanting to calm down before he risked snapping unnecessarily at his pupil. Just because he hadn’t been able to sleep last night didn’t mean he could take it out on anyone else.
“Yes?” He fought not to glare. The poor kid was suffering enough through his training without him being an ass, as well.
“Sir, I saw your name on the board and the guys wanted me to ask if it was you.”
Tom nodded, a tick starting to pulse at this temple. He could feel it, like a pressure point, thumping away. “Yes, that’s me.”
He’d taken the top honors in the water for his year. Had been in the top five percent consistently, one of the strongest of the bunch in all their training. Tom raised a hand to his ear as he so often did these days, rubbing, worrying it. Self-conscious of his hearing, he angled his body further to make sure he could hear the young man without having to ask him to repeat himself.
If he hadn’t been so close to the explosion, hadn’t suffered such damage to his eardrum he’d still be in the water instead of being on the sidelines with nothing to do other than coach others, encouraging them to do the same.
“You sure set the bar high, sir.”
Tom smiled as the young man walked back off to his buddies. A giant’s fist clenched around his throat, squeezing the lifeblood from him as he watched the group of men bond, knowing how close they’d become, those that made it.
It was something he’d miss for the rest of his life, but he was going to have to get used to it.
Because the doctor had been pretty
clear about his prognosis. He could still go permanently deaf in one ear, and he’d never be able to get in the water again. Or at least not in the way he had to be able to in order to pass his physical.
It was over. Period. Something else he’d have to get used to.
“Okay, boys, break’s over. Back in the pool,” Tom barked. He also needed to stop playing Mr. Nice Guy. If these men were going to make it, they had to be the toughest of the tough. He knew that firsthand. “Unless you’re prepared to break my record or come damn close, you can expect a long night.”
Groans echoed out.
“Do I hear a ‘Yes, sir’?” he boomed.
“Yes, sir!” came an even louder response.
“That’s more like it. Now get in the water!” Tom ordered.
Tom folded his arms and fingered the whistle hanging around his neck. If he couldn’t be out there himself, he was going to make darn sure he trained the best Navy SEALs ever to graduate from the academy.
* * *
Tom was starting to wish he hadn’t been such a demon to his training team when they were still in the water two hours later. He was also starting to think that perhaps none of them were going to make the cut. Because they hadn’t left the pool yet and they still had hours to go.
“Come on!” he ordered. “Push yourselves. You can do this!”
He waved over another training officer over who’d clearly finished for the day. “Can you watch these guys for me? I have to make an urgent call.”
Tom gave his colleague a quick pat on the back and jogged into the office. He looked up the school number, glanced at his watch and dialed.
But all the bravado in the world wasn’t helping his nerves any. The hand holding the phone went clammy, he couldn’t stop fidgeting.
He didn’t know what the hell was happening to him. Why his usual nerves of steel and unflappable attitude were failing him now. But he wasn’t going to let a woman rattle him.
Not a pretty wisp of a teacher who could be blown off her feet in a strong gust of wind, who’d looked so vulnerable the other night that he’d struggled not to soften. Found it hard not to let her in.