by Soraya Lane
Tom ran his fingers carefully up her arm before standing. “I’m going to help with the dishes. I don’t want Daniel showing me up in there.”
“Always competing. Trying to outdo one another,” Penny said, leaning back in her chair with an almost empty glass of wine resting in her hand.
Tom looked down at Caitlin one last time before joining his brother and mom in the kitchen. He didn’t want to leave her, had a feeling that he should stay by her side, but he ignored it. She was sitting with his sister-in-law and he needed to stamp out his sudden urge to protect her, because Caitlin wasn’t his to protect.
“So,” he asked his brother once they were both in the kitchen. “What do you think?”
Daniel shrugged, not bothering to turn from his position at the sink. “I have no idea how you convinced such a beautiful woman to go out with you. No idea at all.”
Tom grabbed the tea towel and flicked Daniel hard around the back of the legs. “Like I’ve always wondered how you managed to convince a girl like Penny to marry you.” He went to do a lock-hold around the neck, to hold Daniel until he begged for release. He didn’t bother to tell his brother that he wasn’t actually “seeing” Caitlin. That they weren’t technically more than just friends.
“Boys!” Their mom’s call made Tom step back, stop instantly. “You can leave the fighting until you’re alone. We have a guest and I don’t need any blood to clean up off the floor.”
Tom blew his mom a kiss from across the room before he slapped his brother on the back. They’d always rough-and-tumbled, fought hard and fast, tousled whenever they could. And their mom had always joked about having to clean up after them if things got nasty. Like the time he’d accidentally broken Daniel’s nose, or the time his brother had wrestled him a little too hard and knocked him out cold.
“So how did you ask her out?” Daniel asked, passing him a plate to dry.
“It was more…” Tom stopped, decided not to attempt to explain what it was that was happening between them because he actually had no idea. “Anyway, I’m just glad she said yes.”
His mom smiled at him again from across the kitchen, her eyes showing her happiness. He didn’t want her getting all excited, but he liked that she so obviously approved of Caitlin. He’d never brought a woman home with him before, even after months of dating in the past, yet for some reason he’d wanted to introduce her to his family and he’d never even taken Caitlin on a real date before. The look in his mom’s eyes right now was the same look he’d seen her give Penny, her daughter-in-law, countless times.
Maybe he shouldn’t have brought Caitlin here when he didn’t even know yet if he was capable of letting things go any further between them.
“You know you can’t hurt her, right?”
Tom looked up. He had no intention of hurting her. What the hell was Daniel even talking about? “I’m not planning on it.”
“Good, because if you did you’d have Gabby to contend with. And she’s always telling me how much she loves her teacher.”
* * *
Penny held up the bottle of wine and gestured toward Caitlin. She shook her head no and Penny set it back down on the table. The other woman looked at her, head to the side slightly, a friendly expression on her face.
“I have to ask you, Caitlin,” she said, making it sound more like an apology than a question. “Do you really like Tom?”
Caitlin couldn’t help the surprised expression she was sure took over her entire face.
“I’m sorry, that was rude of me,” blurted Penny before Caitlin had time to answer. “Don’t feel like you have to answer that. I tell Gabby off all the time for shooting her mouth off, and there I go doing it myself.”
Caitlin sighed. She didn’t mind answering, but… “Can I ask why you want to know?”
That made Penny laugh. “Fair call,” she said, leaning in a little closer. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but in all the years I’ve been part of this family, I don’t recall Tom ever bringing a woman home for dinner.”
“Maybe he did when you were away serving,” she replied, in reference to Penny’s years as a soldier that she’d heard all about.
Penny laughed again, just a short chuckle this time. “No, I think I’m right in saying you’re the first girl he’s ever brought home to meet his mom.”
Caitlin didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t known Tom long and it wasn’t as if they’d even been out properly before, on a real date even yet. But she wasn’t going to bring that up, not now. “I’m pleased he did,” she told Penny. “Brought me here, I mean. It’s nice to be part of a family for an evening.”
Penny looked relaxed as she pushed her chair back and watched Caitlin. “I’m guessing you don’t have a family?”
Caitlin hardly ever spoke about what had happened to her, what her past held, but sitting here with Penny seemed different somehow. “I have no idea where my dad is these days—he could be dead for all I know, and my mom passed away when I was a teenager.”
She omitted the part about her secret fantasy, how she hoped her father had died. Wished that he was long dead so he couldn’t hurt anyone else.
Caitlin could see the compassion, the feeling, shining from Penny’s eyes before she spoke.
“My father left before I was born and my mom died a few years back.”
So Penny understood. Maybe not everything, but a lot of what she’d experienced herself then. “So you’re pleased to be part of this family then, right?” Caitlin asked her, an unfamiliar pang of jealousy tickling the back of her throat. Being here, seeing the way they all interacted and the love that was so clearly shared within the walls of this home, made her wish it for herself. For her own life.
Penny looked thoughtful before she spoke, as though she was deciding whether to share her story. “When my mom died, I was so lost, but Daniel’s mom became like my own, and this family meant everything to me. They still do.”
“I can see that,” Caitlin replied.
“Tom has been like a brother to me for years. If I’d met him instead of Daniel I think I would have married him, they’re so similar. But don’t be jealous,” Penny said in a rush, as if she was worried how her words had come out. “I don’t mean that I’m attracted to him, because Tom’s a brother and nothing else to me. But the way they are, the way they treat their mom and everyone else around them, it’s refreshing. They goad each other and fight like toddlers all the time, but they’d give their own lives for those they love, and the way they treat Gabby is…”
“Incredibly special,” Caitlin finished for her, the words leaving her mouth before she could stop them. “I know what you mean. When I saw Tom with Gabby that first day, I wasn’t even interested in him romantically, but I could see the kind of man he was when I watched how he looked at her. How much love he had for her.”
“And now?” Penny asked, clearly wanting to gauge Caitlin’s feelings for her brother-in-law.
Caitlin hesitated. She didn’t know. Hadn’t asked herself that question yet, figured out what they meant to one another or what might happen between her and Tom. Whether she could forget enough of her past to move forward. But then maybe what she really needed to do was confront it.
“I don’t know,” she replied, talking with honesty and from the heart. “I really like him, but I’m not sure what exactly is happening between us.”
Penny’s soft laughter made her look up. “I don’t think you have to worry about how Tom feels, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said. “Whether he knows it yet or not, the look in those puppy-dog eyes of his and the fact he brought you here tells me all I need to know. Usually, I’d be telling him not to break a girl’s heart, but somehow I don’t think that’s the case here.”
Caitlin kept her eyes down. She didn’t know where to look or what to say, but she did know one thing. Her heart was pounding and there was a dizziness in her head making her giddy, and it had nothing to do with the half glass of wine she’d consumed.
/> Caitlin took a deep breath for confidence. “This is going to sound weird to you, but…” She stalled, couldn’t follow through.
She jumped up from the table, pushed her mom to one side and tried to deflect the attention from her. But her dad was too strong, swatted her aside so he could reach his favorite target.
Her mom.
“Caitlin?” Worry lines creased Penny’s face.
Caitlin pressed her fingers to her temple, forcibly trying to push the memories back from where they’d emerged.
She shouldn’t have brought it up. “I’m sorry, it’s nothing.”
Penny’s hands met hers, intertwining their fingers as she might comfort a sister. “I’m good at keeping secrets, in case that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not going to go blabbering to the boys if you want to ask me something in confidence.”
Caitlin shut her eyes, and when she opened them she locked her gaze on Penny, drew strength from her. “Would Tom hurt me physically? Can you tell me, hand on your heart, whether he would ever hit a woman? Whether he’s capable of losing his temper like that?”
Caitlin had tears in her eyes, couldn’t believe she’d so openly asked the one question that terrified her.
Penny’s gaze didn’t waver, but her grip on Caitlin’s fingers tightened.
“I would trust Tom with my life,” Penny told her, tears reflecting in her eyes now, too. “I would let Tom raise my daughter in my absence, because I can promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that Tom would rather die than raise his hand in anger to a woman. He would protect those he loved with force if he had to, but he will never hurt you. Not like that.”
Caitlin was trying her hardest not to cry, but she couldn’t control the quiver of her bottom lip. Penny didn’t ask her why, didn’t question her, but there was something unsaid between them, an understanding, that told Caitlin Penny knew what she was asking. Knew why she’d had to ask the question.
“You ladies need anything else? A drink or something?”
Tom’s deep voice made her look up, her hands jumping from Penny’s. The sudden loss of contact made goose pimples play a trail across her skin. She watched as Penny got up and left the room, smiling at her as she left, honesty shining from her eyes, telling her she could trust her even though they didn’t exchange words. Penny called out to Gabby as she moved, but all Caitlin truly saw now was Tom standing before her. He was so tall that she had to tip her head back to meet his eyes from where she sat, and it wasn’t hard to look at him. To run her eyes over his broad shoulders or down his tanned forearms, showing from beneath the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt.
“No,” she said, voice low as she watched him, tears forgotten.
He crossed the room in a few strides and sat down beside her, close enough for his leg to brush against hers, thigh to thigh, pressed together. She couldn’t help the smile that caressed her face when he watched her.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked. “You looked kind of sad when I walked in.”
Caitlin shook her head. “I’m fine.”
Her body was on the verge of trembling, but she had to push past it. Because she owed it to herself to try, to believe that she could move forward and trust in another human being, in a man, again. At least to give him a chance.
“Shall we get out of here?”
Caitlin wanted to say yes, but didn’t all at the same time. It was nice being here, but being with Tom, alone, would be…
“Caitlin?”
“Yeah,” she answered. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”
Tom took her hand on one side and cupped under her armpit on the other, helping her up. He pressed a soft, barely there kiss to her cheek, close to her ear, sending a tickling shiver down her back. “Let’s go,” he said.
Caitlin was proud of herself, felt an inner surge of confidence that she’d thought was long lost.
And what scared her even more than her earlier fears was that she wanted to trust him. She no longer wanted to push him away more than she wanted to pull him closer.
CHAPTER NINE
TOM refused to look at Caitlin, not wanting to take his eyes off the road, but he could feel her next to him, was so aware of her that it was hard to focus on doing anything. He had no idea if he was doing the right thing; all he knew was that he wasn’t sure he could walk away from her.
He pulled up outside her house. Tom couldn’t believe that a couple of weeks ago he hadn’t even known she existed, had never even driven down this street, but in the last week he’d been here repeatedly.
At least he didn’t have to make a move now. Because he had no intention of saying goodbye to her without walking her to the door and helping her inside. He’d kissed her earlier today, but it already felt like a lifetime ago and he needed to show her how he felt. That he wanted something to happen between them even if he wasn’t sure what that something was yet.
“Here we are,” he said, pulling over. “Stay put and I’ll help you out.”
Caitlin didn’t disagree and he didn’t hesitate. He opened her door and bent to pick her up, not wanting her to put any unnecessary weight on her ankle.
“Tom, you really don’t have to…oh!” She half squealed as he swept her off her feet and held her tight against his chest. “Twice in one day, huh?”
He smiled down at her, still not sure what to do. Or quite what to say to convey how he felt. All he knew was that he was good at being the protector and what he wanted right now was to be protecting Caitlin. He might not have been able to protect the men he’d lost, but he’d be darned if he wasn’t going to protect her.
“It’s not exactly a chore,” he said, wishing he’d come up with something wittier.
Caitlin giggled. “You mean I’m not too heavy so it’s bearable?”
Tom tried to stop himself from staring at her too seriously, tried not to look as fierce as he knew he must have looked. Because she was like a fragile bird, Caitlin was. There was something scared within her, something he couldn’t put his finger on, that told him she’d be too easy to break. And he wanted to be the one to make her strong.
It was now or never.
“I don’t mean it’s easy because you’re light.” Tom’s voice was gruff, rough around the edges in a way he hadn’t heard himself speak before.
Caitlin leaned back a fraction to look up at him. “You don’t?”
Tom gulped, swallowed hard and moved his fingers to cup more closely around her. “I would carry you all day if it meant I could be near you.”
She looked surprised. Taken aback. He was, too, couldn’t believe what he was saying.
Then a shy smile spread out over her face, lighting her cheeks a bright pink that he could see even in the half-light.
Tom didn’t wait for her to say anything. Instead, he walked the last few steps up her porch, put her down gently to her feet and pressed her firmly against the door, back hard up against it. He didn’t take his eyes off her, pinned her with his gaze, placing a hand on either side of her head against the timber, leaning in close until his mouth was only inches from hers.
“Caitlin,” he said, voice low.
He watched her swallow, his body tensing as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips, as though she was nervous and didn’t know what to do or where to look. Afraid, perhaps? He hoped not—she had nothing to be afraid of.
He let his hands drop lower, conscious that he didn’t want to make her feel trapped, even if a tug within him wished he could hold her firmly in place and not let her go.
He kept his hands locked still, touching her instead with his body, pressed to hers before he kissed her. Tom touched his lips lightly to Caitlin’s, pulled back to put the smallest of spaces between them, giving her the opportunity to say no, to push him away.
But she didn’t.
Caitlin closed the distance between them herself, kissing him shamelessly, pressing her warm, tiny body into his. Tom kissed her back more fiercely than before, took her mouth hard against his own and
touched his tongue intimately against hers, teased her with his lips. He dropped his mouth to her neck, caressing her with his hands, too, no longer able to keep them raised above her, needing to run them down her body, skimming her slender curves.
“Tom,” she gasped, her voice barely audible as she put a hand to his chest and pushed him back.
He was breathing hard, adrenaline pumping through his veins as though he was about to attack a foreign enemy. Was preparing to launch an assault.
“You want me to stop?”
Caitlin looked at him shyly, as if she didn’t know what she wanted. “I need you to be gentle with me,” she said.
Tom didn’t need to be told twice. He’d already sensed she was fragile and it was time he trusted his instincts again. He scooped her up carefully, holding her in his arms as she fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door to let them in.
He kicked it shut behind him and walked down the hall, stopping only to cup her chin in his fingers, with all the care in the world, to tilt her face up, teasing her lips in a barely there kiss as he walked.
* * *
Caitlin’s heart was racing, as if all the blood in her body had transferred to her mind, sounding like the rush of the ocean roaring through the room.
But it wasn’t. The only sound was her gasping for air and Tom’s silent breath as he walked the rest of the way down the hall with her in his arms. Suddenly she couldn’t feel the thud of pain in her ankle. Instead, it was replaced with a warmth from being in Tom’s arms that she couldn’t describe. Because she’d never been held like this before.
She’d never felt safe in a man’s arms before. Never felt cherished and cared for in a man’s arms before. And she’d sure as hell never felt so attracted to another human being before, either.
Tom’s lips murmured against her hair and she tilted her face up to him. “Your bedroom?”
She tucked her head to his chest, nervous, not sure how to look at him when there was such fire in his gaze. “Yes,” she half choked out.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching hers out, connecting with her. “You say stop, I’ll stop.”