by Soraya Lane
“Nothing to tell,” she said, her upbeat words at odds with the look on her face, too forced.
Tom nodded slowly, trying to gather his thoughts. What he needed was to change the subject, give her an out. He understood all about needing to keep some things close to his chest, so he wasn’t going to pry.
“So you survived your first hike, huh?” he said, instead of questioning her further.
Caitlin held up her ankle, propping it on the dash. Her smile was grateful. “Only just.”
“Well, it was better than being attacked by a bobcat, so count yourself lucky.”
Tom grinned at her before focusing all his attention on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot. Yesterday, he’d been feeling down. Now, he felt invigorated, the way he only ever usually did after a serious workout session or a mission when he was a SEAL. Even if he was itching to know more about Caitlin and why she was so totally alone.
He was under no illusions. Caitlin was the cause of his euphoria and he wanted to be in her company. There was something about the pint-sized ballerina that intrigued him, made him feel alive as he hadn’t in a long time.
When he’d left his unit, he’d felt as if his future was over. As if he’d never find even a blink of happiness ever again.
But Caitlin had changed that. She’d made him see that he was capable of smiling again, of feeling happy, and for that he owed her big-time.
* * *
“So why did you become a teacher?” Tom called out as he sat in Caitlin’s living room, running one hand up and down her cat’s back as he waited for her to get dressed. He’d never heard a cat purr so much in his life, but it wasn’t helping to distract him. All he could think about was the fact that she’d been naked, only a room away from him, while he sat trying to pretend she wasn’t.
He was behaving like a sex-starved teenager. It had been way too long since he’d been with a woman, and now it was a particularly beautiful woman that he was craving.
Tom stifled a laugh. His SEAL buddies would be hooting with laughter at him if they could see him.
“Caitlin?”
“Sorry,” she called back, sounding breathless. “Getting ready without being able to walk is kind of trickier than I thought!”
Tom leaned back into the sofa and shut his eyes, thinking about all the ways he could help her. He seriously needed to think about something else.
“So tell me,” he asked again, trying to keep his mind from the gutter and only just succeeding. “What is it you like about teaching so much?”
“Did I say I liked it?”
No, but she sure as hell looked as if she loved it when he’d seen her with the children. “I already know you like it, but I need to know why.”
She hopped into the room before leaning against the door frame. “I love it because the kids are like little sponges, and I get to help them soak up everything they need to learn.”
Tom nodded, ignoring how cute she looked in her jeans. “So you like them because they’re small and impressionable?”
“I guess, but I like the fact that I’m helping them, too. You know, that it’s me they look to for guidance.”
He patted the cat some more instead of running his eyes up and down her body. Even in bare feet she looked perfect, all tiny and delicate, her hair still pulled up into a high ponytail that fell halfway down her back.
“Are we talking about me or you right now?” she asked.
She was smarter than he’d given her credit for.
“I’m struggling with the whole teaching thing,” he admitted. “I guess I’d never really thought about being the teacher. I’ve never had a problem learning, pushing myself to do better, but being on the other side is…”
“Different, I know,” she finished for him.
“You do?”
Caitlin hopped some more and fell into the chair beside him. “Once you realize how important your job is, you’ll make peace with it.”
Tom doubted he would ever prefer teaching over being in the field, but right now he didn’t have much choice. “So you think I’ll like it better than the real thing one day?”
She shook her head, a gentle smile telling him no. “I doubt it. But without great teachers, no one succeeds, so whatever you’re teaching you have to make sure you’re the best leader your pupils can have.”
Tom laughed at her words of wisdom. “Are you sure you haven’t been attending some U.S. Navy training courses? Because you sure seem like you’re giving me a formal pep talk.”
Caitlin tucked her good foot up beneath her body and watched him. He liked that she was relaxed. Sometimes he got the feeling that he made her jumpy.
“Once you come to terms with it, I’ll put money down that you’ll love it.”
“How much?” he joked. “I’ll match you dollar for dollar on that bet.”
Caitlin waved her hand at him and hauled herself to her feet again, looking the least graceful he’d ever seen her as she tried to keep the weight off her sore ankle. “Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to make a bad first impression on your mom by being late.”
Tom leaped to attention, taking her by the elbow to help her walk. “Once she sees you, there’ll be no checking the time. She’ll get all flustered and flap about in the kitchen like she’s a bird about to take flight.”
Caitlin rolled her eyes. “Even more reason for you to have phoned ahead and told her,” she insisted.
Tom just grinned and opened the door before flicking the lock and pulling it behind them. But he couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said.
First impression. Jeez. Did that mean she wanted to make another impression on his family? That she was thinking about seeing him again?
Had he been too quick to ask her over? Tom stilled his fingers even though they were itching to tug through his hair, ignored the part of him that was freaked out.
When they’d lost a man in the field, when the ringing in his ears wouldn’t stop and when it had been replaced with almost silence, he’d thought his life was permanently dislodged onto the wrong track. Like a train veering off on the wrong line, with no hope of being pointed back in the right direction.
But he felt as if Caitlin was changing the rules, tugging at those invisible boundaries. As if she was testing him, pushing and pulling him in different directions, and he wasn’t disliking it. Wasn’t sure what the hell was happening, but not disliking it. He’d overreacted the other night, and he still felt bad about that. After so many months of everyone around him trying to pretend that they understood loss, as if they could comprehend how much he’d lost this last year, he’d snapped. He should have kept his feelings in check, but he hadn’t and Caitlin had borne the brunt of it.
But not again. She deserved to be treated better than that, he’d just had to figure out where exactly he was heading and what his intentions were.
There was a chance here that he could move on. That he could go back in time to when he was at peace with his life, when demons weren’t chasing him in the night. To have a normal future. So no matter how hard it was, he had to at least try to move on. To move forward. To figure out how to change things.
Because if he didn’t, he had a feeling it was something he’d live to regret forever.
* * *
Caitlin was more nervous right now than she’d have been if she was about to perform. Her preshow jitters had always made her jumpy, but walking up to the front door of Tom’s mom’s house was even worse. She had no idea why she’d agreed to come. Or maybe she did. Because after years of dreaming of a proper family, of one where parents sat down to nice family dinners and didn’t argue or scream at each other or worse, any chance to be part of a real family made her yearn for that type of childhood. Even just to be part of a snapshot for one night.
“I’m not convinced this was a good…”
The door swung open and Caitlin swallowed her words.
“Tommy!” Gabby stood on the other side of the door, a huge smile lighting he
r face.
He bent to scoop her up for a quick cuddle and a kiss, before putting her back down and reaching for Caitlin instead.
“Look who I brought with me, kiddo.” He waited for Caitlin to brace her arm around his shoulder so he could help her inside and she obliged. “Injured but okay.”
Gabby’s head was on an angle as she looked at the pair of them. “Why is Miss Rose here for dinner?” She didn’t even ask about the fact Caitlin’s ankle was bandaged or that she was only wearing one shoe.
Caitlin gave her a grin, relieved that she hadn’t met Tom’s mom yet. “Because you have the best uncle in the world and he wanted me to join you.”
Tom gave her a strange look and she wished she hadn’t said anything.
“What happened to you?” Gabby asked, as though she’d finally noticed.
“Tom, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me, Mom.”
Caitlin gulped, back in panic mode again. Tom turned his head and looked at her, his gentle smile and quick wink making her nerves rattle for a completely different reason.
She could stare at him all day and not tire. His dark brown eyes, the way his gaze had the power to put her at ease and excite her at the same time… She looked down at Gabby again, needing to break the connection. Her being here didn’t mean anything. It was just dinner between friends, and Tom had been kind enough to ask her to join his family so she wasn’t in pain and alone. But still, maybe she should have declined.
“Tom, I was wondering…”
His mom was calling out, talking to him as they followed Gabby down the short hall and into the open-plan living and kitchen area.
“Oh!” The words died on his mom’s lips. “I see we have company.”
Caitlin’s face flushed warm and she was as nervous as a teenager meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time. Tom’s mother’s expression went from surprised to happy all at once.
“Hey, Mom.” Tom let go of Caitlin briefly to envelop his mom in a hug and kiss her on the cheek. He waved to an equally surprised-looking woman sitting at the table, chair pushed back and Gabby tugging at her arm. Caitlin recognized her instantly.
“Everyone, this is…”
“Miss Rose,” announced Gabby.
It made them all laugh, Caitlin included. Tom stood beside her again and took her arm, helping her forward.
“Yes, Miss Rose. Otherwise known as Caitlin,” Tom corrected.
“How lovely of you to join us,” his mom said, holding both hands out to clasp one of Caitlin’s. She kept herself steady by holding on to Tom still, letting her hand be squeezed by his mom’s warm palms. “I’m Vicki.”
“Nice to meet you,” Caitlin said back, not having to force her smile. She’d gone from nervous to welcome within seconds. “I’d let go of your son but I’m not exactly capable of standing on my own right now.”
His mom looked surprised and Gabby’s mom frowned before pushing her chair back to walk toward them.
“Please don’t tell me that Tom had something to do with this,” Vicki said, shaking her head at her son. “It looks like a Tom kind of accident. Please don’t tell me he made you go hiking?”
Caitlin laughed. “Does he take every girl he meets hiking?”
“Every woman? I doubt it. I’ve never met anyone who’s said yes to one of his expeditions yet!”
Caitlin let her hand be squeezed again. “We have met before. I’m Penny, Gabby’s mom. You must meet so many parents that I’m sure it’s hard to keep track.”
“I remember you. We don’t have any other moms who are soldiers, so you’re kind of hard to forget.” Caitlin relaxed as Penny took her by the elbow, ushering her away from Tom.
“Come and sit down,” Penny said, giving Tom a nudge. “You can pull her chair out. Make Caitlin comfortable,” she bossed.
Tom jumped to attention, and Caitlin couldn’t hold back her laugh.
“What?” Tom asked.
“I’m just realizing that maybe if I’d been a bit more bossy with you I could have avoided this sprained ankle completely!” That made the other two women in the room laugh, too. “I was intimidated by the whole Navy thing when I should have stuck to my guns.”
Tom didn’t look impressed as he glared at his sister-in-law before looking back at her. “I thought you wanted to go?”
She reached out a hand to touch his arm, smiling up at him. Instead of worrying, of feeling out of place, Caitlin was relaxed. Content with being at his family dinner, at being around a family again after so long on her own. It was comforting even though they were strangers.
“I did like it, Tom. If this hadn’t happened,” she gestured to her ankle, “it would have been the perfect afternoon.”
His mom appeared across the table, leaning forward on the back of a chair. “Well, let’s make this the perfect evening,” she suggested, smiling with a warmth that instantly reminded Caitlin of Tom. “Let’s get Caitlin a drink, Tom, and then you can help me in the kitchen.”
He looked down at Caitlin, and she grinned up at him, propping her leg up on the chair he’d shuffled closer for her. “You okay for a minute?”
“I’m fine. Absolutely fine,” she replied. And she was. It had been a long time since she’d been relaxed around a man, but for once, she wasn’t lying.
Tom brushed his hand against her hair, barely connecting with her cheek beneath, but Caitlin felt it. It almost took her breath away, the casual way his fingers skimmed against her, reminding her that he was there. That he was aware of her and wasn’t going to leave her for long.
She looked up to see Penny watching. Smiling, but watching.
“I think I’m starting to see why Tom was so keen to look after Gabby while we were away.”
Caitlin met Penny’s gaze, pleased to see only kindness there instead of any animosity.
“I promise I’d never even seen Tom before,” Caitlin confessed. “But he did make quite a first impression on me when he visited my classroom.”
“To collect Gabby?” Penny asked.
“Ah, I’m guessing your daughter hasn’t told you that she dragged Tom to school for show-and-tell, then?”
Penny roared with laughter. “Are you serious? Tom actually did that?”
Caitlin had liked Penny the moment she’d met her at a parent-teacher meeting, but now she was convinced about the other woman. “I think you’re underestimating the effect that little girl has on her uncle.”
Penny held up her hands. “You’re right, Gabby could get any of the men in her life to do anything for her.”
“Who’re you talking about?”
Caitlin looked up at the same time as Penny to see Tom and another man standing together, side by side. There was no mistaking they were brothers, all dark hair and even darker colored eyes, both close to filling the doorway they’d just passed through.
“Hi, I’m Daniel,” the man announced, walking closer and standing behind his wife. “And I know exactly who you are.” He grinned at his brother, and Caitlin watched as Tom scowled back.
“Play nicely, boys.” Tom’s mom came back into the room, carrying a huge dish of food.
Caitlin watched as both men moved toward their mom, Tom getting there a step before his brother and ferrying the dish the rest of the way to the table. Daniel followed her back into the kitchen and came back out with another huge plate. It was nice seeing grown men so eager to assist the woman who’d raised them.
“This looks delicious.” Just as she’d imagined it would be.
“So Caitlin, I think I missed the part about how you and Tom met, and how he’s going to make it up to you for getting that ankle sprained,” Daniel asked.
Caitlin grinned at Tom as he carved the huge roast chicken on the table. “Funnily enough, we met in my classroom, and given that he carried me a mile or so back to the car today, I think we’re about even.”
“Why, what did you have to get even over?”
Caitlin felt the flush hit her cheeks, but she wasn�
�t about to share stories from her drunken night out. “Ah…”
“Caitlin teaches ballet, too, and I helped her out with collecting some stage sets for her class’s next performance the other day.” Tom’s lie rolled easily off his tongue and she was grateful.
“Ballet?” His mom asked. “Do you teach Gabby’s class?”
“Yes,” Caitlin replied, pleased to busy herself with the food before them. Everyone was helping themselves and she was happy not to be the complete center of attention. “Gabby’s one of my favorite little students at ballet and at school,” she praised.
Gabby wriggled in her chair, clearly excited. “Do you want to see what we learned last week?”
Caitlin watched as all the other adults nodded their heads, clearly used to Gabby’s enthusiasm, liking to watch and praise her.
While they sat, dinner getting cold in front of them, Gabby twirled and danced and giggled until they were all laughing. But it felt right. It didn’t matter that they were sitting there watching a child instead of eating, because to Caitlin it felt like being part of a real family. If only for a moment in time.
And she loved it.
Caitlin looked over at Tom and quickly lowered her gaze when he grinned at her. His smile was genuine but it held more than just happiness. It was a smile filled with meaning, and it sent a shiver down the length of her spine.
Because, after all this time of turning down almost every man who had asked her out, after years of focusing on herself and building a life as a single person, being happy on her own, she was starting to wonder if she could build a different kind of something with Tom. If she could open up to him, if they could slowly build on what they had, maybe, just maybe, she could figure out how to trust again.
* * *
Tom reached out and brushed a hand over Caitlin’s. He’d been wanting to do it all night, had been watching her, smiling at the way she interacted with his family. And he couldn’t stop thinking how sad it was that she didn’t have one of her own.
“You okay?” he asked her.
He liked the way Caitlin tipped her head back and met his gaze. “Yeah, I am. Better than okay, actually.”
He didn’t know if he’d ever seen her looking so relaxed.