Everybody's Somebody

by D. Breeze

  He counted and I tensed. On three, he twisted and pushed. I didn’t scream, it was more like a howl. I had never felt pain like it and I turned my head and bit down on Jamie’s shoulder. He grunted, but didn’t move.

  I blacked out.

  Chapter Twelve

  Freedom

  “Come on pretty girl, let me see those beautiful blue eyes.” I blinked and tried to focus. “There we go. Come on baby, keep them open for me, I need to know that you’re ok.”

  I blinked again, trying to clear my vision. Jamie’s face came into view and I croaked, “What h-happened?”

  “You passed out baby. But your shoulder is back in place and you’ve only been out for about ten minutes so I think you’re ok. Do you feel alright?”

  “Yes, I feel fine. My arm still hurts though, is that normal?” Jamie shrugged and I sat up gingerly, but I really did feel ok. He looked over at his mum and dad who were both hovering near me too and Cheryl answered.

  “Yes honey, you’re still going to be in pain because you have extensive bruising and I’m guessing they’ll be some ligament damage. Can you move your fingers ok? No pins and needles?”

  I wiggled my fingers, they moved fine. No pins and needles either. I blew out a sigh of relief. “No, I can move them fine and I don’t have pins and needles...” I looked at Mr Travis. “Thank you for doing that for me, Mr Travis.”

  “Yes well, someone had to. You may call me Malcolm.” Still so formal, even after a month. I didn’t like him, no matter what he did. Then Jamie asked the question I knew they all wanted to know.

  “Babe, what happened? I know your mum must have done this, but you need to tell us what happened so something can be done about it. That arm is really bruised.”

  I didn’t want to tell him - or anyone else for that matter – but I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, she needed help. I held an internal debate on how much to tell them. I figured, if they were going to know anything, they may as well know it all. I took a deep breath.

  “I think...I think she might be s-sick.”

  “Sick?” he questioned. I nodded.

  “Yes, like a mental illness or something. It’s bad over there Jamie, always has been. Since my dad left anyway...” Malcolm cleared his throat and looked at Cheryl. I wondered what that look was for. “But it’s getting worse every day now. She’s losing control and I don’t know what I can do to help her anymore. It’s been nine years since he left and she hasn’t left the house in eight. Not once. What does a ten year old know about ordering shopping and paying bills? Nothing. But that’s what happened, like she just shut down. I was running a house, at ten years old. She just, sits there. She watches TV and talks about God. I didn’t even know she was religious until my dad left, now it’s all she talks about. She needs help Jamie, real help.”

  “I think we should find your dad.” Cheryl suggested immediately. My head jerked back and I stared at her with my mouth agape.

  “W-why would we do that?” I asked, but Malcolm answered instead.

  “There’s a story behind why he left, we don’t know all of it, probably not even half of it, but he can tell you. He should be here now taking care of you and he can help you find someone to take care of your mum too. Cheryl is right, we should find him.”

  Find my dad? I knew my mum had lied about him being dead, but the fact that there was story to do with my life, that other people knew and I didn’t, just didn’t sit well with me. Did I really want to find him? I couldn’t answer my own question. He obviously didn’t want to find me, else he would have by then.

  Without me answering, they began discussing between them, what the best way was of finding him. My whole life was in someone else’s hands. It was such a strange feeling.

  “I’m moving in to the apartment over the garage.” Jamie declared, I swung my eyes to him but he was staring at his dad.

  “Why would you want to do that?”

  “Because she’s not safe in that house anymore. If I move into that apartment then she can stay there with me too. At least until you find her dad and there’s a plan in place. I can’t leave her there and I won’t” he meant it. I could see from his face that he was daring them to argue, strangely though, they didn’t.

  “Ok sweetheart, we’ll start moving your things across, you won’t have much room though, you know that right? And it can get cold in there now that it’s nearly winter.” Cheryl, ever the doting mother. I smiled to myself, I really did adore her. I don’t think it really registered with me that Jamie was talking about until he asked me how long it would take to get my things together.

  “What?” I asked, frowning at him.

  “Your things, how long will it take for you to get them together so we can move into the apartment?” he repeated.

  “Y-you want me to move in with you?”

  He frowned at me. “Yes...” He said slowly, then continued. “Have you not been listening. It’s not safe for you over there and I don’t want you staying there anymore. We have a small studio apartment apartment over the garage and I want you to stay with me.”

  I leant towards him and whispered, “We can’t do that! I’m only eighteen and we’ve only been together just over a month!”

  He didn’t whisper. “You’re not only eighteen. You’re the most mature, strong and brave eighteen year old I’ve ever known. You need this, and I need this. Are you going to break-up with me in the next few weeks?”

  “God no!” I declared, vehemently.

  “Then what does it matter that it’s only been a month? This is long-term baby, and you need to start understanding that. Now, how long will it take for you to get your things together?”

  “A night. Give me tonight. I’ll talk to my mother and I’ll pack my stuff. I don’t have much anyway.”

  He nodded, but Cheryl spoke up.

  “Honey, that place hasn’t been used in years, it’ll need a good clean and probably a coat of paint...” She turned to me. “Go home, pack your things ready and you can both move in there in a week. Is that ok?”

  “Yes. Thank you, Cheryl. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  A weird look crossed her face and her eyes were unfocused for a brief moment, but it past and she smiled her motherly smile at me and stepped closer.

  She cupped my cheeks with both hands and looked into my eyes. I swallowed at the unfamiliar gesture. “Sweetheart, no child should have to go through the things you’ve been through. You might be an adult now, but that doesn’t make her behaviour any better. Honestly if you’d let me, I’d have reported her to the police by now...” I shook my head and she smiled again. “I know honey, I know. She’ll always be your mother no matter what. I can almost understand why you don’t want to go to the police. I’m not going to lie to you, living together at your age, it’s not a great idea. A lot can happen between now and when you both go off to university but if it’s what Jamie wants, then yes, I think it’s the right thing to do. You need to get away from her, you deserve to be happy.” She let go of my face and stepped back.

  Wow. No one had ever spoken to me like that. Honest, but full of affection, for Jamie, and for me. My eyes shone with tears and glancing over at Jamie, his were too. My heart skipped a beat.

  So it was decided. Oh my gosh! I was moving in with my boyfriend, my Jamie, in seven days! My insides were doing back flips and I fought the urge to do a happy dance. Regardless of the actual situation causing it, I smiled.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hurt

  Three hours, and a lot of discussion later, I was standing on the doorstep of Jamie’s house, in his arms, saying goodbye. I figured we’d be texting for hours as soon as I left but I hated leaving him, I just wanted to stay with him constantly. The thought that I actually would be staying with him all the time entered my mind and my tummy fluttered.

  “Promise me, whatever happens, if you need me, you’ll call.” He said.

  I nodded, but said, “I promise.” It seemed to appease h
is worries for the moment and I stepped out of his arms. He held my fingers for a minute longer and looked into my eyes.

  I knew he didn’t want me to go back there alone but I’d convinced them that I’d be better off without him there. I didn’t want him inside that house, it was infested with darkness and evil as far as I was concerned.

  “I just want you to know, I’m not doing this just because I want you out of that house. I mean, I do want you out of there obviously, but I just hate sleeping without you and I want you with me all the time. I don’t give a fuck if it’s not rational, it’s what I want...” He give a slight smirk... “And we both know I always get what I want. I’d be living with you tonight if I could. I just, I love you so much. No, I’m in love with you. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know how I feel and I’m serious about you and about us.”

  I think my heart stopped, then exploded. I couldn’t speak through the lump in my throat. Although I doubted his words, someone like him could never be in love with someone like me, the fact that he’d at least lie about it, made me happier than I think I’ve ever been. There was nothing else to say, except the truth.

  “I’m in love with you too Jamie, so so much.” I whispered.

  He kissed me, hard. Another different type of kiss, I didn’t think I’d ever get used to them. He stole my breath from me and his tongue explored my mouth, memorising it intently. It ended too soon though and he stepped back, stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers and told me he’d talk to me later. I couldn’t respond so I just bit my lip and shared a small smile, whilst I was walking away.

  I practically skipped the way from his house to mine and I was grinning from ear to ear. I knew he’d change my life, I just didn’t know how quickly it would happen.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  I entered the house, ignored my mother and went to my room. I wasn’t lying when I told them that I didn’t have much stuff, I didn’t have TV or much furniture, not that I’d take it with me anyway. I owned about four pairs of jeans, ten t-shirts and two pairs of shoes. That’s it!

  I grabbed a few carrier bags and threw everything I owned into them. Looking at the bags on my bed, I expected to feel the flutters of excitement I had before, but that didn’t happen.

  Instead, I felt pathetic.

  Eighteen years of age and all I had to show for my life was three carrier bags of clothes and one book. No special photos, no sentimental possessions to speak of at all. I felt the tears form but I fought them back, I didn’t want anything to ruin how I felt about moving in with Jamie.

  I crawled into bed, clutching my phone to my chest, waiting for a text from Jamie. I thought about going down to tell my mother that I was leaving, but I decided against it, I figured it would be better to tell her just before I left. That way, she wouldn’t have time to react and I could just leave.

  Five minutes later, my phone vibrated in my hand. I smiled when I read it. Nothing but a quick ‘Having an early night seeing as we’ll be busy tomorrow. Love you pretty girl.’

  I fell asleep, still smiling, dreaming of a life where I could just be myself. A life where no one judged me unfairly, and I could be happy completely. I could have that life. I would.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  My daddy. He looked at me like he wasn’t sure whether to cry tears of happiness or run away screaming. He was talking to me, but his eyes held a hint of anger. Tension radiated from him, and others in the room, though I didn’t know who they were.

  There was a buzzing in the background and the vision cleared before I could process anything. The ‘gift’ was driving me crazy. Sometimes they were so clear, and sometimes I didn’t get anything. What I did know though, was that we were going to find my dad. That’s the only reason I would see him in my dreams.

  After a few minutes, I realised it was my phone that kept buzzing and blinked a couple of times to clear the sleep from my eyes. I never was very good at waking up, I love my sleep too much.

  Seeing Jamie’s name on the screen, I answered immediately.

  “’lo” I mumbled, my voice still rough with sleep.

  “Fuck me, fuck me. How long does it take you to wake up! Get dressed, I’ll be round in five minutes.” And he hung up.

  I wasn’t tired any more. He had me on edge with the tone of his voice and the fact that it was only six am. The thought of something ruining my day filled me with dread. I jumped up from the bed, threw on the clothes I had been wearing the day before and ran down the stairs.

  By the time I got down there, there was a knock at the door. Opening it, I knew that something had gone really, really wrong.

  His face was white, completely drained of colour. He was scruffy and it looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. I stepped towards him, but it felt like my world had ended when he took a step back and held his hand up to stop me. I knew my face must have portrayed by despair because he flinched like I’d hit him.

  “Just...just before you do or say anything, you have to come with me.” He turned and walked towards his house. His behaviour was so odd. Did he not realise my heart was already breaking? Did he just not care? Not once, since we’d started talking, had he ever not touched me or thrown me a term of endearment. I did not like it.

  I followed behind him, walking woodenly. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to follow him at all. I was pretty certain that whatever I was about to witness, would ruin me. I was not wrong.

  Stepping through the door, I was hit with a wave of familiarity and pure loathing. Tension was rolling from every direction and I despised it. I couldn’t even breathe the air was that thick with negative emotion. Jamie did nothing to reassure me, just strolled straight into the lounge.

  I wish I had never followed him.

  The second I entered, the familiarity factor shot through the roof and I gulped, but froze. Apparently, the Travis’s, when they want something, they work fast. The stranger sitting right in front of me, was no real stranger at all.

  “Rhianne...”

  “Don’t talk.” I barked. I won’t lie, I even shocked myself with how harsh my voice was. But damn it, he looked...good. He looked fine, not like someone who regretted abandoning their only child nine years ago. I think a small part of me wanted him to look like he’d had a rough life since he left me, or at least like he’d struggled. He didn’t though. Damn.

  I didn’t look at anyone else, I just stared at...at my daddy.

  “Where have you been?” I asked timidly.

  “Sweetheart, you should come and sit down. There’s a lot to be said and some things you should know.” This came from Cheryl and I did as she suggested, mainly because I wasn’t entirely sure how much longer my shaking legs would hold me.

  Perched on the edge of the chair, I sat as far away from anyone as I could. If it wasn’t Jamie, I didn’t want any of them near me, and Jamie didn’t seem to want to comfort me. That worried me more than anything.

  I watched my dad take a deep breath and he began his story. I believed every single word.

  “Rhianne, God, I don’t even know where to start, but I guess you need to know it all. Before you were born, your mother, she was wonderful. She was the perfect wife, I thought she’d be the perfect mother. Almost as soon as you were born, I noticed the change in her. She was distant, cold even, and she never wanted to be around you. The doctors told her she had post-natal depression and she was on anti-depressants for a while. Things never did really improve, but I think I just got better at ignoring it. You were my little girl, I doted on you, so I just put up with it. I guess I thought I could love you enough for both of us. Things just got worse and worse, I put up with the way she behaved for nine years Rhianne. You were still too young to notice everything that was happening and I tried my hardest to hide it from you anyway but I just couldn’t take anymore. She was miserable, and so was I, I just needed to be away from her.”

  I didn’t care about anything he was saying, as far as I was concerned, he was only thinking about his own feelings, but
he continued.

  “The night I left, I’d told her I was divorcing her, I told her I couldn’t live the way we were anymore. She didn’t even react, she truly did not care that I was leaving. That was, until I told her I was taking you with me. God, she just...she went crazy. Screaming about how she’d never allow it and how I didn’t know what I was dealing with. It was all nonsense, I was sure. Then she told me that you were not my daughter...”

  My eyes widened and I sucked in a huge breath. I wasn’t his? What?...just, what?

  “I swear to you Rhianne, I swear I didn’t believe her. I told her I’d take her to court and prove she wasn’t fit to raise you and I’d take you away from her. Then she told me who your dad really was. She gave me times, dates, places...sordid details of their affair. It was all I could do to stand up straight. I lost a piece of me that day...I lost you. I didn’t even care about the affair; I didn’t care about anything, other than the fact that you weren’t mine. So I left.”

  His voice broke, but he went further, ignoring the look of utter despair written all over my face.

  “It took weeks. I went through all the stages of grief, because that’s what I was doing, I was grieving the loss of my only child. But then, I got stuck on denial. I thought, how could it be true? I was convinced once again, that it was all one huge lie. So I came back, I drove up to the house, and had my heart broken all over again. I started to open the door, when I saw you sitting on the floor and Malcolm was crouched beside you, he touched your hair and you looked up at him and smiled. That smile had always been the light of my life and I knew...no, I thought that he knew you were his.”

  I sucked in another breath. No no no no no no no...it wasn’t true.

  “So I drove away, and I never came back.”

  “She fell off her bike! I remember that day.” Malcolm added. I remembered it too.

  I swung my eyes to Jamie, he looked like he was going to be sick. Exactly how I felt.