by Ira Trivedi
‘Um, sure, no problem,’ I said, not wanting to create a scene, even though I didn’t like being left alone. I watched him walk away to the bar, and wondered why he hadn’t asked me to come with him. Maybe he had to discuss business with them—after all this was work for him, not entertainment. I sat at the table, hoping the other names at our table—Amanda McCarthy, Jason Golenboom, Julia Anderson and Seth Jacobstein—would arrive soon. I felt totally out of sorts sitting by myself, I probably looked really silly too. The server brought the first course, a crusted goat-cheese salad and my tummy rumbled in delight. There was no sign of Jonathan though, and I didn’t want to start without him. I exercised enormous self-control and munched on breadsticks instead. I tried to focus my attention on the jazz band that was playing a snazzy tune—at least this way I would look involved.
‘You look like you’re a bit lost, are you all right?’
I turned around to come face-to-face with a rotund, cherry-faced Indian man. He was out of place in this elegant setting in an ill-fitting navy suit, a blue-and-white checked shirt, a shiny pink tie and big heavy square-toed shoes. Though he was inappropriately dressed, there was something nice about him, probably the big, bright smile.
‘Yeah … I’m just waiting for someone.’
‘You looked kinda lonely by yourself, so thought I would come say hello. Gautam Pandey, nice to meet you,’ he said offering his hand.
‘Riya Jain,’ I said, glad to have someone to speak to. ‘Do you work with CX partners?’
’No, no, I’m a mere reporter. Not one of the fancy bankers … as you can probably tell,’ he said, looking down and tugging at his carelessly knotted tie that he wore.
‘Wait, are you the Gautam from the CDO group at Goldstein?’ I asked, putting two and two together
‘Yes! That’s me. And you are?’ He looked amused.
‘I’m an intern in the CDO group at Goldstein, but Jonathan and Sean had mentioned you. They said you used to work with the group earlier.’
‘Ah! Mr Goodley. Is that who you’re here with?’
‘Um, yes,’ I said uncomfortably, hoping he wouldn’t jump to any conclusions, not that it mattered really.
But Gautam didn’t seem nonplussed with the fact that I was here with the VP. ‘Where is he?’
‘Um, I’m not sure, he was just here a few minutes ago but he went to talk to some people at another table.’
The server came around then with the second course, an asparagus velouté with truffles. Still no sign of Jonathan. I was starving now, and the soup looked and smelt delicious.
‘Shall we start? I’m famished and I doubt J would want cold soup,’ Gautam said with a grin as he dug into the soup. I gladly followed suit.
Gautam Pandey stayed put over the next two courses of black cod with miso sauce, and lobster with mango chutney which we were thrilled about. There was still no sign of Jonathan, but I was beginning to enjoy the company of scruffy Mr Pandey.
Gautam was a reporter for the Wall Street Journal. He had grown up in Pune, and then studied engineering at IIT before coming to the US for his master’s degree at Dartmouth. He had then taken up a job with Goldstein Smith in the CDO group. He was funny, very desi, and extremely sweet. I was instantly at ease with him, and as the discomfort from earlier in the evening faded away, I found myself having a really good time. I hadn’t missed Jonathan even once till I felt a tap on my shoulder.
‘I’m so sorry, there were just so many people that I had to meet,’ he said apologetically before he caught sight of Gautam. ‘Well, look who we have here!’
Gautam got up and they hugged. ‘Not very gentlemanly of you, Mr Goodley, to leave such a lovely young woman to dine alone. I had to rescue the damsel in distress.’
Jonathan looked at me ruefully, ‘I’m so sorry Riya …’
‘It’s fine,’ I said with a smile. ‘I understand.’
‘Since Amanda McCarthy is obviously not going to be here tonight, would you like to join us for dessert, Mr Goodley?’
As they chattered along and caught up on old times, on people they knew in common, I was lost in thought. Here was Jonathan Goodley, investment-banking VP headed to the top, hot and steamy, with the amazing apartment. Then there was the desi chap, Gautam Pandey, frumpy journalist, former banker, probably lived in Stuy Town or one those types of places … okay, I was being a little mean, but the differences between the two men were very apparent. But there was also something so pleasant about Gautam. Was it the similarities in our lives and the comfort level we had established so quickly that contrasted with Jonathan’s caddish behaviour this evening that was starting to put me off?
‘Right, Riya?’ Gautam asked, nudging me out of my thoughts.
Before we knew it, the clock had struck midnight and the evening had come to an end. Jonathan arranged for a car to drop me home, because he had to meet a client for a drink. It had been surreal, the entire evening, and I still could not believe that it had happened to me. Everything had been so perfect—despite Jonathan’s long absence—and dream-like and sigh …
There was just one thing, I realized as I reached home, I should’ve gotten Gautam’s contact info. Oh well, I could ask Jonathan later.
The VP and the Intern
I woke up the next morning to a giddy, happy feeling, my mind recalling the scenes from the night before effortlessly, like flipping through a flick book. I was still a little woozy from all the champagne. A quick look at my alarm clock and I realized that I had to be at work in twenty minutes. This was beginning to be a familiar pattern.
Even though I would have loved to lay in bed and dream longer, I jumped out of bed. I was ready in a matter of minutes (something I was getting very good at) and rushed out into the chaos of Chinatown. It was an unpleasantly warm morning, and the crowded subway ride and walk to the office left me covered in a thin film of moisture, making me regret my decision to wear pantyhose. I arrived at the office and went straight to the bathroom where I brushed my hair, wet-wiped myself and re-applied my makeup. I was extra careful about the way I looked these days, there was no knowing when I would run into Jonathan.
At work I went through my morning motions—email, a cup of extra-sugary coffee, checking the status of eBay bids. I took a quick look to see if the swimsuit that I was eyeing on the J. Crew website had gone on sale, then browsed through Market, the tabloid of the banking world, spending several minutes on a particularly interesting article featuring ‘young and fabulous bankers under thirty’. I had just opened my copy of the WSJ, when Sean walked past me to his desk.
‘Yo Riya!’
‘Hey!’ I said brightly. I had to be extra nice to Sean, since he was the only ally that I had left in the office after Amit had joined forces with Kurls.
‘You had a look at the Journal? An article by our very own Gautam Pandey.’
‘Really?’ I flipped through the paper, curious to see what my new friend from last night had written.
Wall Street Woes by Gautam Pandey. ‘Crisis creates havoc for Wall Street Aspirants’.
I skimmed the article which talked about how difficult it was going to be for people looking for jobs on Wall Street because of the financial crisis struck off by sub-prime mortgages. Not exactly the pick-me-up I needed right now.
‘Looks interesting,’ I said glumly.
‘Yeah, GP is a smart ass. He really was the best guy here. He quit even though they dangled a pretty tempting offer.’
‘What offer?’
‘When Brian and his boys came over from J.P. they were offered very lucrative packages, almost double the salary of the guys here. This pissed everyone off. GP wanted to quit, but Brian didn’t want him to because he was the star of the show. So he offered to promote GP to vice president, and give him the same package as his boys. GP was the only one from the original Goldstein gang who was offered these incentives.’
‘What happened then?’
‘GP had made up his mind about quitting, and he wouldn’t listen to anyon
e. Brian was practically on his knees. If GP had taken the offer, there would have been riots within the group. After he quit and the fire died down, the angered ones thought GP had been asked to leave because of his demands and in some way this appeased them. But I know GP quit because he wanted to save this group, because he has a noble heart. Truly, a treasure in the crummy world of investment banking. He’s made quite a name for himself at the Journal.’
‘Why in the world would you go from being an investment banker to a journalist? It doesn’t make any sense to me,’ I said, shaking my head in disbelief.
Sean laughed, ‘Well not all of us like indentured labour you know, there is some amount of dignity left in this world, though not very much.’
The day wore on as usual. A painfully slow morning, a long, even more painful afternoon, an evening of staring out the window fantasizing about Jonathan. I was initially very upset with him for abandoning me at the ball but that didn’t last—he’s just too dreamy! I walked past his office a few times hoping to get a glimpse of him, but it seemed like he was out of the office. I sat at my desk, browsing the internet, and eating a pita-bread pizza and a protein shake from Pump Energy Foods. After Ivana’s weight-gain disaster I had become paranoid about what I ate. I had restricted myself to ordering from the places listed under the ‘health’ section. My favourites were Pump Energy Food and health Kitchen. But fighting my urge to gorge was a constant battle and despite my paranoia and care, I had gained about five pounds.
An email popped up on my screen. Jonathan. I felt something in my tummy do an excited flip.
Intern,
Let’s meet for a drink.
J
Without a second of hesitation I picked up my cellphone and called him.
‘What’s up?’ he answered, sounding surprised.
‘I just got your email. I was just about to leave work, so I thought I’d call.’
There was a pause and then he asked me casually, ‘You want to hang out?’
‘Sure.’
‘Do you want to come over and then we can maybe head out somewhere?’
‘That sounds good. I’ll see you in a bit.’
I hung up and quickly finished up a few things I was working on, and got my stuff together to leave. I felt a little guilty about leaving at 10 p.m., especially after running out at four yesterday, but all feelings of guilt were quickly replaced with excitement.
On the six-block walk from the office to Jonathan’s I thought of the inappropriateness of it all. Why was I going over to his house so late? I was an intern and he was the VP, there could never be anything between us. But, I liked him so much, though I didn’t know why. All I knew was that right now, he was the only source of happiness and joy in my pathetic life. Who knew, maybe—just maybe—this would work. After all there were tons of banker couples … once the summer was over, I could date him. New York was only a four-hour bus ride from Boston. After graduation, I could move to New York and join a different group at Goldstein. We would both be super-bankers, leaving home together, meeting for power-lunches, going back to our penthouse apartment together. I was so lost in my Jonathan fantasy that I almost missed the turn to his building.
‘Jonathan Goodley, please,’ I asked the concierge who made a quick phone call and then motioned towards the elevator.
I pressed the PH button and felt silly that I found it so thrilling. When I reached his floor, I walked to his door and rang the bell. Jonathan answered instantly. He was dressed casually, in a grey T-shirt and black track pants. He was on the phone but ushered me in and led me to the couch, the same couch I spent the night on a few days ago. He finished the call and came back and sat next to me, casually putting his arm around my shoulder.
‘Hi,’ I said with a nervous smile. I was conscious of the lip-gloss on my lips that I had applied on my way over here. I hoped my lips weren’t too shiny.
‘Hey you.’
‘Someone looks relaxed.’
‘Yeah, just bumming around, it’s been a long day.’
‘I didn’t see you at the office today.’
‘Yeah, I was out for meetings all day. The sub-prime mortgage mess has a lot of people worried,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Listen, I’m really sorry about abandoning you last night at …’
‘It’s all right, Jonathan,’ I interrupted him. ‘You’ve already apologized. I understand,’ I smiled.
‘Want some wine?’ he asked, returning my smile. I nodded, and we went to the kitchen where he opened a bottle of white wine that he took out of the freezer. He poured me a glass—the wine was still lukewarm—and added some whisky to the glass he was drinking from. ‘So Intern, what’s been new with you? Any new deals?’ he winked.
I rolled my eyes at him. ‘Well, I closed two deals last week, made a nifty bonus package on them too, and I am working on an important transaction this week, and then there is that other deal …’ We both laughed. Both of us knew how much deal work I actually got to do. ‘It’s the same, Jonathan—Excel, PowerPoint, the glamorous life of the intern.’
‘Is Kurls still working on that project of his?’
‘Yes! Can you believe that guy?’
‘He’s been at it for almost a month now. Every time I pass his desk, I feel bad for him,’ Jonathan said as we settled down on the couch. ‘That kid works really hard, I hear he is in the office every day till two in the morning.’
I wanted to tell him that I was there too every night, but I decided that it would sound juvenile. I didn’t want Jonathan thinking of me in the same way as Ker-Lih. He inched closer to me and gently stroked the side of my head. I looked down shyly and took a large gulp of my wine. He moved away. I blushed and turned my attention to the football match on TV even though nothing was registering since all my focus was on him. As he flipped channels I decided to ask him the question that had been on my mind for a while.
‘Are you seeing someone?’ I asked as casually as I could.
He placed the remote on the side-table and turned towards me. ‘say what?’ he said, grinning.
‘Um … I just asked if you were seeing someone.’ I repeated uncomfortably, hoping I didn’t come across like a total idiot.
He shook his head, ‘Nah, not right now.’
‘Why not?’ I asked curiously.
‘I don’t know. This is the longest stretch that I’ve been single actually.’
‘Really, so you used to be a bit of a playboy?’
He laughed. ‘No, not like that, it’s just that I’ve always been in long relationships. I’ve been in three relationships and they’ve all been long ones. The shortest was almost three years.’
‘Wow.’
‘What about you, Intern, who are the men in your life?’
‘Just one. Since joining Goldstein, I spend most nights with my new boyfriend, Microsoft Excel.’ We both laughed. ‘Jonathan, I know it’s a silly question, but do you think the group will give me an offer?’
‘Hmm …?’ he was distracted by the game on television, ‘I don’t see why not.’
‘I don’t know, I’m just nervous. Offer time is approaching, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have a bad feeling about it.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ he said without looking at me.
‘Well,’ I soldiered on with my doubts, ‘Ker-Lih works really hard, and he’s so good at Excel and I mean … I don’t know …’
‘Hmm … damn! I can’t believe he missed that pass. Everyone has their own thing, Riya. So what if you’re not the Excel Queen, you bring other things to the table.’
‘Sorry, Jonathan, it’s just on my mind. I would really like to come back to Goldstein. I don’t know if it’s going to be the CDO group, but I really enjoy working here.’
‘Sure, I can see you doing well in a sales role.’
‘I guess I could give it a shot.’
He was looking at me and smiling as if I had said something funny.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Oh nothing, you�
��re just funny, Intern.’
‘Well Mr VP you’re just funny … looking,’ I said and stuck my tongue out at him.
He laughed loudly, shook his head and went back to watching the game and sipping his drink. I stared at his profile … I wanted to kiss him so badly. I almost leaned forward to, but then shook my head. He continued watching TV, oblivious to my presence, and I found myself feeling a bit frustrated. Why had he invited me over? Were we just going to bum around like this for the rest of the night? Watching football on TV?
‘I’m sorry, you look so bored,’ he said glancing at me. ‘Let’s change the channel, you choose.’
‘Movie?’ I asked him.
‘Sure.’
I went through the list, but could not find anything that I particularly liked. ‘Grease?’ I asked hopefully.
He grimaced. ‘Scarface?’ he suggested instead.
‘I can handle that.’
‘Excellent! Can I get you a refill?’ he asked as he got up to fix himself another drink.
‘No, I’m good,’ I replied, looking at the full glass of wine in front of me.
He came back to the living room and sat next to me, much closer than before and put one arm around my shoulder and started to massage it in gentle circular motions, drawing me closer. The other hand snaked up to my thigh and started slowly stroking it. The air around me had changed and seemed charged with electricity. My skin began to tingle.
‘Riya,’ he whispered. ‘You’re beautiful, you know that, right?’ He turned my face towards him, bringing my lips to his. My heart began to race and I closed my eyes.
He began kissing me—his gentle kisses growing more intense—and I followed suit for what seemed liked eternity. I breathed in the scent of his heady aftershave and could taste the alcohol intermingled in his breath, while his tongue explored the inner contours of my mouth, biting my lower lip gently. I thought I would die when he darted his tongue in and out. He broke the spell by gently loosening the grasp of my palm around his neck. He got up from the couch and led me with one hand towards the bedroom, our footsteps creaking and echoing on the hardwood floors. The door was open, and he bent down to lift me up from behind my knees in one gentle swoop and carried me in, closing the door with his foot while I clung consciously to him. The room was big and bare, with no other furniture, except the bed and a wardrobe. Without a word, be began unbuttoning my shirt with a concentrated, determined look on his face. My shirt fell open and when he slid his hands, I felt a shiver run through my body which now treacherously seemed to demand a life of its own. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Some part of me knew that it was not the right thing to do, yet I couldn’t help myself. Slowly he reached back and unhooked my bra. Watching me, he pulled off his T-shirt over his head, drew me closer and started to gently encircle my ear with his tongue as I held him tightly, caressing his strong back and his arms, hoping I was doing the right thing. He slid his hand inside through the back of my pants, and I breathed a sigh of relief that I had worn a thong today, and not the granny panties that I sometimes wore to work. He proceeded to undo them, slowly taking his own pants off too, all this while running his hands up and down my body. There was both a hardness and suppleness to his body which somehow I had expected. His mouth delved into the hollow of my neck and his hardness pressed urgently against me, giving me goosebumps. A light from the glass window suddenly set aglow his face and I could see a gentle yet seductive smile on his face.