by Juliet Lili
Nikolas felt like his soul was laid bare. He would not be able to enact his plans if he wasted anymore more time. He would succumb to the fear gliding inside him. He pretended to stagger although the ale was quickly washing out.
“Schmerz always committed,” He slurred. “I won’t tell father if you indulged yourself in pleasure occasionally ehh... A romp with a lady of the evening will make you feel right and loosen you a bit.” He hoped his bloodshot face and wavering blurry eyes persuaded Schmerz that he was crocked. He saw the hard lines of his mouth twitch.
He probably was enjoying the way he appeared, the drunk coward prince.
Nikolas didn’t mind disgracing himself more. Focusing his eyes over Schmerz’s shoulders, to the end of the corridor, a place that seemed so far out of his reach as he stood there, he slurred again. “You can come along Schmerz.” He opened his mouth slightly then closed it for the better, what he was about to suggest, would have been an incredibly stretch, something not only Schmerz would not believe but even the greatest hedonist in the city. He snorted inwardly...for Schmerz to join him in a romp. The whore would cry for death. The thought sent shivers down his spine.
“I’ll have to decline the offer. Should I assign you guards, my prince?” Schmerz asked ignoring his invitation.
“That would ruin all the fun. Have a good evening, Schmerz.” Nikolas excused himself, leisurely walking down the dim corridor stepping on his feet in the occasion. He was aware Schmerz was watching him, he could feel his gaze on his back like daggers. His knuckles had turned white from firmly gripping the bag. He flexed his fingers letting blood flow in his numb fingers.
He was too smart to just leave now. Schmerz might have sent one of his men on his tail. Frustrated, Calemir walked in the shadowed streets, his steps quick as he headed to Nadine’s house. Her modest small cottage home was situated in a less cheap alley.
Nikolas stood before the door and knocked, knowing she must be asleep at this late hour of the night since there was no burning lamp from where he could see outside the small curtained window of her home. He snapped his head behind him, trying to see if he had company while he waited for Nadine to open the door.
A cool breeze brushed against him. He tensed. He was too nervous and oversensitive to everything around him now. Damn you! He cursed at Schmerz and rapped his knuckles on the door again. What’s taking her so long?
Was another man here for her service? Jealousy boiled within him. Anger burned his blood when he recounted what his father had said about Nadine servicing Muri men. His track of thoughts was brought short when the door opened with a creak. Nadine stood at the door with a lamp on her hand, her long nightgown covered her shapely body, her lime eyes swollen from sleep, and her red curly hair untamed.
He didn’t wait for her to welcome him into her house. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him with his free hand, and dipped his head, catching her lips roughly with his. He felt her stiffen for a second then relax against him as he shoved the door closed with his foot.
She softly moaned into his mouth and responded to his kisses. Nikolas dropped his bag on the floor and grabbed the oil lamp from her hand, setting it on a nearby table while he dragged a chair and sat on it with Nadine straddling him. He caressed her hips and kept on kissing her, feeling the heat of her skin through her nightdress. Guilt filled his chest for using her like this, in his messed-up plan when she responded too eagerly for an experienced whore. She kissed him in a way that made him feel he was the long-gone lover and now he’d returned to her. Nikolas was aware of her feelings for him. The problem was, he wasn’t sure how he felt. Don’t think him wrong, he’s just confused about their relationship that’s been going on for almost seven years. Nothing has changed nor his desire for her since he’d first seen her. Her beauty still drove him insane, he just had to see her for the burning want in his veins to ignite. Nikolas enjoyed spending time with her, talking to her in the quietness when nothing else mattered. He more than liked that she listened to his rumbling of how it was hard being the invisible prince whenever he came to see her, never looking bored for one second. And this is what added to the confusion and the part she has never said she wanted more from him even when he told her his real identity. Nikolas had expected her to squeeze him of all the wealth he has, but not one single day has Nadine hinted she wanted the wealth he could give her. Whenever she brought the idea of him giving her more, she would get angry and change the subject. The other reason that gutted him is her providing favors to other men. He hated the idea of it, his stomach twisted, bile rose in his throat, and sense of betrayal rang in his chest whenever she was with other men. And then there was the way she behaved with him, gentle, caring. Nadine looked at him as if there was no other man but him in her eyes. Was this all pretense to keep as the most valuable client? Was he any different from others? Heck! He didn’t know.
He slowly ended the kiss after a surge of assurance welled in him that whoever was sent to follow him was long gone.
“What is it?” her hazel eyes searched his face. He nuzzled his nose on the crook of her neck and shoulder and inhaled her sweet scent. She smelled like the fresh and innocent flowers that bloomed in spring. He lifted his head and looked at her rosy face.
“Nothing is wrong love, I just need to talk.” Disappointment crossed her face. She blinked and climbed off him slowly and put some space between them. He watched as she fidgeted her small fingers in front of her. “How can I serve you, my prince?” She asked, her voice detached and void with emotions. It was the voice she used with other customers. Nikolas gritted his teeth.
“I need to talk to you”, he paced in her neatly small living room. The room had a nice brown rug that covered the wooden floor with a moderate wooden table with two chairs, small utensil cabinet in the corner and a heath and yellow curtains adorned the windows of her home. She had a decent home, all from the high price she demanded. And men were willing to pay because she was beautiful and the best of what she does. Her eyes lit with renewed hope which only made him feel guiltier.
“Would you prefer talking here or...” she blushed and averted her eyes shyly “...in the bedroom?”
“Here will be okay. I won’t take long”, Nikolas answered too quickly and picked the bag from the floor. He had to search for a ride heading to the north towns of the kingdom. His head ached when he tried to think where he could find someone traveling at this late hour.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked with genuine concern, her brows furrowed. Nadine neared Nikolas.
“I need you to lie for me. If anyone... especially the guards come looking for me. Tell them I’m asleep and wished not to be disturbed or I have gone out around the city.”
“Are you in trouble my prince?” she loudly whispered, worry mirrored on her lovely face. Nikolas almost gave a maniacal laugh to her question. He probably would be in deep trouble in days to come.
“No, I’m not in trouble. I just have some personal matters I need to take care of”, Nikolas said as he walked to the back door. He saw the curiosity written on her face, wanting to ask more but decided against it. He took some few coins from one of the porches in his cloak pocket and turned to her. “If you can’t do it, that’s fine. I will hold nothing against you,” he said quietly placing the coins in one of her free hands. He kissed her once more before she could protest or register what he was doing and walked out of her house.
Time was against him. He didn’t even know when Schmerz and his force would depart for Murisa. If they left early at the break of dawn, he might as well go back to Nadine and say farewell to his plans. He won’t be able to surpass them while they rode war bred and well-trained horses. He needed at least a day to be ahead of them. He planned as he slinked in the dark streets, searching for any merchant willing to travel. His luck struck when he walked to the local market and found a large young man moving barrels to his tented wagon. He appeared a little older than him.
His rusty oil lamp place
d on the muddy ground a few distances from the wagon was the only source of light in the entire square. Nikolas moved closer to the young man.
“Take a step closer, and I will slit your throat” the young man warned him, pointing a dagger towards him.
“I mean you no harm” Nikolas replied quickly. Under the light, he could see the young man tanned face, brown hair and eyes, broad shoulders that stated he carried heavy luggage and used to hard labor. He was dressed in overly sized belted orange tunic with hose and boots. Nikolas cleared his dry throat. “Pardon, where you’re journeying to?”
“I’m heading North to Maji town,” he replied. “What do you want?” the man added sharply still pointing the dagger towards him.
“I would appreciate if you let me join you. I will pay for the accommodations” Nikolas replied glancing around him for any intruders. He didn’t know where the small town is but as long it was in the north of the kingdom he didn’t mind riding with the young man. He took some few coins from his pocket and showed the young man as he held his breath and waited for his answer. The young man studied him with a hard look for a moment. Nikolas hoped the young man wouldn’t recognize who he was.
“If you’re some hooligan I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
Nikolas sighed in relief. He was far from it. “I assure I’m no hooligan, but if you are, I won’t hesitate to do the same to you”, he threatened.
“There’s space in the wagon. You can climb in”, the young man instructed and waited for him to get in before he took his seat. He was bombarded with the darkness and the smell of ale inside the wagon. From back where he sat, Nikolas watched the young man take his seat at the front and pull the reins holding the two horses. Hot pricking sensation rolled over his skin. His heart beat faster, his face paling.
“Stop!” Nikolas yelled, panicking. “I said stop! He shouted again, feeling the walls of the wagon closing in on him. The horses reared and stomped the ground with a whine.
“What’s wrong back there?” the young man questioned, twisting in his seat to look after calming the horse to a stop.
“I…I need to get off” Nikolas muttered under ragged breathing. He crawled his way from the back, feet staggering as they hit the ground.
“Are you, all right?”
“Just go, here take this and leave” Nikolas threw one porch of coins to the man, not looking if he caught it.
O gods, I can’t do this! Nikolas bent forward feeling sick and guilty to his stomach. He was just about to rat out his father and General’s plan to the enemy, jeopardizing his kingdom for a little revenge and hurt pride.
Chapter Fifteen
Vessener, Murisa Kingdom.
A day turned into two, three then and still there was no word from the court of King Lorenz concerning Kalil, except for the increase of some guards making rounds in the streets and watching from the ramparts along the walls. They were armed and fully prepared for defense. The silence grated her patience. She wasn’t the only one whose sense of calmness was wearing thin. Her fellow comrades were beginning to lose it too. Each day that passed without a word from the royal court brought a new set of anxieties inside her and pushed her fellow warriors to an edge. Word on Latrell attack had already begun to spread around. She could even sense the restlessness in commoners when she passed them by. It was just a matter of time the streets became crazy with terrified people.
However, what picked at her mind unrelentingly was that there was no movement from Kalil. No other ambush. Abasi had been deadly quiet. By now she had expected to be on the field of battle or worse.
Were they waiting for each other out? Who’d rip the other one’s leg out first?
Nara couldn’t make out. Frustration seethed through her. She gritted her teeth, her thigh muscles tightened from exhaustion yet she pushed herself harder and rose her leg, delivering a swift kick to the worn strawman’s head.
If she could find out, she would’ve by now. Of course, she couldn’t despite having an almost free pass to the king’s court as a lady of noble birth. Recently no one other than officials were granted to enter the king’s residence. The castle had been under a strong guard. Social snobbery cliques had no gossip too. That left her to get details from her father. Unfortunately, her father wouldn’t tell her anything. He left home in the wee hours for court and returned late in the night. And if they talked it was about her quitting the army. Just two days ago, she argued with him about the same thing. The space between her brows creased when she recalled how their conversation went.
“Nara, you need to stop doing this” he had said coming from the kitchen to the sitting room. She knew what he had meant when she was harnessing the sword belt on her waist. She was dressed in a dark combat training clothes and on her way to the military quarters.
“Father you know I cannot.” She looked at him once she was done adjusting her belt.
“Yes, you can. You should start doing what you're required to do as a lady” he insisted. She sucked in her lower lip, holding back a scoff.
Sew, gossip and wait to be married to some arrogant lord?
“Please let’s not go there,” she pleaded, wanting to avoid an argument. “Can we talk about this later?” Her will to remain temperate was crumbling with each passing day, while fear began to look real. Ever since she informed the General about the elf, and not heard what he would do with the information apart of taking it to an account, an ominous feeling inside her has been tormenting her ceaselessly. And if her assumptions of the elves siding with Kalil were true, then she and the rest of Murisa were more than done for. They were damned. She couldn’t suppress a shudder skittering through her skin and sinking into her bones.
“This is the time. I don’t want to argue about this any longer. Do as I say. From this moment, you are forbidden to go to the military quarters or associate with it in any form” Her father’s words were cold it startled her.
Nara frowned. “You cannot do that.” She said, controlling her anger. “I’m not a child, I’m capable of caring for myself-”
“And I’m your father I’ve indulged you enough to the point you’ve become disobedient. I will no longer tolerate this behavior from you!” Her father’s gaze was stern as his tone.
Nara took a deep breath to control her temper. “You know clearly what you’re forcing me to do is to abandon my comrades.” There was an edge to her voice. “I call it a betrayal.” She couldn’t just walk away especially now, her fellow soldiers counted on her. As time passed, she just didn’t fight alongside her comrades she became to depend on them as did they. They were tied together by a unique relationship, a bond which assured they could count wholeheartedly on each other, put faith on the other completely and got each other’s back not only for survival in a time of adversity. They were there to comfort one another because one can relate and knows what the other is going through. They knew the horrors of being a soldier and no one else.
Her father looked at her, exasperated. “You’re too stubborn for your own good. This is not the life I wish for you. Understand there’s a lot more going on now.” His words rose concern.
“Then tell me, father, what it is?” Nara searched his tired face. No doubt, there was more to what’s been going on. Still, her father was reluctant to say. And he argued she was too stubborn for her own good. Now we know where she got that trait from.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about” Her father grasped and squeezed her arm. “You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. Do not shorten it.”
Her throat worked. Nara swallowed bitterly and held her father’s eyes. She understood her father loved and cared for her which also meant he feared for her life.
“I’m sorry father” she mumbled avoiding his gaze. He let go of her arm and scrubbed his face and expelled a weary sigh, knowing she’d made up her mind. Desperately wanting to escape the guilt tripping silence, Nara moved past him and hurried away.
***
Nara grit her teeth hard. She punched the
strawman hard, again and again till sweat perspired from each pore, creating a layer of sweat over her skin. Her lungs and throat burned and her breathing labored. She wanted to scream and harm something alive to remove this feeling of despair. So, she kicked and fisted the strawman with all she had. Straws rain down to the ground as she attacked ruthlessly. Her whole body was burning from heat and muscles aching, and she didn’t care.
Nara kept on doing this for a while wrapped up in her own world ignoring other warriors in the vicinity until Astrid passed in her line of sight that’s when she stopped. Astrid still hadn’t left for Fisher as she’d said she would.
“Astrid” Nara called past a dry throat. She noted how Astrid’s shoulders stiffened while she kept on walking.
Nara stalked toward her. “Stop being childish”. She had had enough, now she demanded an explanation to why she was receiving the cold shoulder. “Clearly something is going on here, and I’ve somehow missed or forgotten to what I should know” Nara stood in front of her. If it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have bothered to figure what was wrong. But this was Astrid, one of the few friends she had. Friends were hard to come by for her.
As it has become the norm, Astrid avoided her gaze. “Nothing is going on.”
“Then why do you avoid me like a contagious disease?” Nara challenged, blocking her when Astrid tried to move around her.
That seemed to get her because Astrid clamped her jaw and leveled her eyes at her. “It is the way you look at me.”
“Pardon?”
“Even now” Astrid mused bitterly. “You’re looking at me like I’m a lost child.”
“I don’t understand” Nara frowned. Her confused expression aggravated Astrid. “Since the other night, you have been looking at me pitifully, and when you speak to me, there’s caution to your tone as if I’d break any moment.” Astrid’s laugh was humorless. “I see the judgmental looks people give me from the distant, I’ve now fallen to the coward soldier status to them, and I am fine with that. But I didn’t expect it from you. Not after everything!” her last words were painful fervidly whisper.