by Juliet Lili
Nara was rendered speechless for a moment, she cleared her throat then spoke. “I’m sorry if my actions offended you. However, I only treated you as a friend who cares. Perhaps you misunderstood my understanding and sympathy with pity. And I only spoke to you with caution because I only wanted to give you space, not that I feared you’d break. You are still the courageous warrior I know, nothing has changed regardless of that night. Everyone has their moment where they feel afraid and vulnerable that that doesn’t change or give the right to regard them lesser.”
A pregnant pause.
“I’m sorry for being irrational and causing you embarrassment the other night” Astrid apologized, her shoulders relaxed when Nara nodded her acceptance. “Truthfully, you have always been the brave one. I’ve not seen you ranting like most of the others. You have managed to stay sane despite present circumstances.” Astrid said.
Nara shook her head. “Not true, my time isn’t here yet. I believe my break down would be far worse.”
“Perhaps a bunch of us have been pretending this whole time to be dauntless when we are nothing but spineless hypocrites” Astrid gave her a sad smile.
“Don’t say that, you know it’s not true” Nara insisted.
“I am still leaving when I get the chance to meet with the General. I have not seen him since we got back, no doubt he’s been occupied by the meetings in the king’s court” There were regret and remorse in Astrid’s eyes. That answered why she was still here. Nara couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t bothered by her decision. Weren’t they supposed to stick together till the end? Didn’t it mean nothing all the years she served with them? Who is to say, if she left, other soldiers wouldn’t follow her behind, abandoning their post? What would become of the army then?
“You realize running to Fisher won’t protect you from the war. Once Abasi’s army set foot here they won’t leave no stone unturned that includes in Fisher” Nara said.
“Still I want to spend my last days in peace and freedom” Astrid muttered, lowering her gaze to the ground.
Nara’s mouth thinned in disappointment, seeing the resolve in Astrid’s expression. A twinge of hurt pricked her chest. Weren’t the two of them supposed to stick together and have each other’s back to the end?
“I respect your decision” Nara clipped, not masking how she felt. She wasn’t going to wish her the best because she wouldn’t mean it. Right now, she only felt let down by one of the most important people in her life.
“I’m sorry” Astrid mumbled again.
“Yes, me too. I must go” Nara had already begun to stride away even before the words left her mouth.
***
Chapter Sixteen
“When are, you planning to get married?” her mother’s question was like a whip to her conscious as she kneaded dough for buns they would make next morning. Her mother had dismissed the maids to assist her, stating she wasn’t going to be rendered useless in her own home just because she was pregnant.
Nara slowly lifted her head from the bowl filled with dough and skeptically looked at her mother who stood across the kitchen arranging cleaned pans, bowls and cups on the shelves and cupboards. Where is, this coming from?
“I mean... I’m only curious” her mother continued, glancing at her over her shoulder for a second and continued arranging the cups. “Your friend Helle has married already. Do you not wish to?”
Since her return, she had not hung out much with her friend.
“What so if she’s married, do I have to be too now?” Nara bit out and quickly made an apologetic face. “Did father put you up to this?”
“No dear that’s not what I mean and your father did not either” Kami shook her head.
“Why are you eager to chase me away when you have always been telling me that you had missed me so dearly?” She watched her mother place a ceramic plate in the cupboard and close it.
Outside the large kitchen windows, the evening sun waned.
“That’s ready” her mother commented, her gaze motioning to the dough as she approached heavily and stood on the other side of the table she was using. The dough had risen. Nara poked it, and it filled back to its round shape. She rested her floured palms on the table. Her mother sprinkled some flour on the plane surface of the wooden table and placed the dough on top. “The reason I’m asking is that you never talk about such matters. Do you not want children of your own?” Kami asked, her gaze holding hers. “Besides I’m tired of hearing other mother’s boasting and chattering who their daughter or son is promised to.” she rolled her eyes, teasingly.
In customs, girls were courted as early as age fifteen and got married at age twenty. In other circumstance, some got married at age twenty-three which was considered late. At twenty-four, Nara was well past the age of betrothal. She would be regarded as OLD by many. Surprising despite her being a recluse, there had been men who had sought her hand in marriage. Both two men had been wealthy merchants she had never actually held a conversation with but seen them about a few times in the King’s wall. Story short, she had politely refused them because of her disinterest in them and not because of her parents’ opinion about the two men wanting to use her to climb the social ladder. It was not the lack of suitors that she was still unwed. In all truth, she did not enjoy maiming or killing anyone, not a pleasant activity in her opinion. And it wasn’t because unlike the law enforcers and other guards whose duty were to walk around the alleys or stand regal and firm for hours on different corners of the castle and protect the king, as an Elite, she has the privilege to wander and have adventures in various parts of their kingdoms and further. But above all, it was the honor that came along with serving. Nara felt a real sense of honor when she fought for her kingdom. Her heart swelled with pride knowing she among others were a pillar and keepers for their nation’s peace. Civilians needed not to worry who’d watch over them as they slept and worked their days. That was her responsibility. A duty she was ready to perform. In her mind when contemplating, marriage brought commitment, being tied down and divided attention. Something she wasn’t interested in wholly or sure she’d be able to juggle nor commit to.
“I am happy as I am. I do not need a husband” Nara answered in an uninviting tone for further discussion.
Her mother stopped rolling the dough and looked at her. “I am not saying you are not happy. As your mother, I care about you and your happiness is the most important thing to me. I just do not want you to be alone.”
“I am not lonely. I have you, father an Ingrid” Nara countered.
“There only so much we can give you. Sometimes a person needs more, somebody else to share a part of themselves” Her mother said softly.
Nara rolled her tongue in her mouth and said nothing. She was content with her life. She did not think she needed someone else to express herself to, on the contrary, she thought to add more people in her life in these crucial times was not wise. It would be too much of baggage to worry about.
“Now I should sit down; my feet hurt. I look like a bloated whale” her mother said with one hand on her back and the other on her belly as she sat on a wooden arm chair next to her.
“Your feet don’t resemble such abomination. You are beautiful every day” her father voiced. He stood at the entrance with Ingrid’s frame sticking behind him. A smile displayed on his lips, his eyes warm. In a dress, Ingrid slipped past him and moved to where she was. Nara pulled her closer to her, Ingrid’s shoulder’s resting on her side.
“Thank you, dear. You’re handsome as ever” her mother said, her voice all lovey-dovey, it made Nara cringe and almost gag in her mouth. She’d never be comfortable with her parent's show of affections to each other.
As her parents kept adoring each other, she felt a tug on her cloth. Ingrid had her fingers clutched to her dress. Nara inclined her head down and met Ingrid’s gaze. “Is that dough for bread?” Ingrid softly whispered. Nara grinned immediately knowing what her sister wanted. Nara only nodded. Her little sister’s brown
eyes lit up and mouthed to her, “Can I have some?”
To give or not to give? If she did, Ingrid would want more and more meant a stomach ache. But if she didn’t, it meant a sulky Ingrid and when would she spoil her naughty again? A little flour won't hurt anybody. Nara made up her mind and leisurely twisted as if she wasn’t about to steal under her mother’s nose. Ever so discretely, she worked her fingers unto the tray and to the yellow toughed up flour.
“Don’t you dare give her” her mother scowled. “I’m disappointed in both of you,” she added looking down at Ingrid. Nara stifled a grin, rose her palm out and pretended to hang her head in shame when her mother looked back at her. Her father’s chuckle bounced in the room.
A short-contented silence filled the kitchen before being replaced by thoughtful words from her father. “The king has requested us to join him for a feast.”
“Has he now” her parents shared a look.
***
Nara and her family walked the vast hallways of King Lorenz palace, heading for the grand hall. She took a glance at her family. A black frock with a dress shirt hugged her father’s upper frame and matched with a pair of trousers and boots. As for her stepmother, she had on a proper kitenge dress with colored patterns, her hair, boxed braids while Ingrid was just dressed in a modest pink dress. On the other hand, a red long sleeve dress adorned her shapely figure. The maids had done good work on her hair by curling it into deep waves. They all looked splendid and tensed. Her parents had stiff looks on them as they silently walked together. Even Ingrid whom Nara believed had no clue what was going on had a somber expression on her innocent face. What was holding the king back to formally announce the status of Murisa and Kalil relationship? Or were they in negotiation for a truce and she was burning her peace of mind with useless restless thoughts?
They took a turn and descended few stairs that adjoined the hall. Nara perceived the room. Huge chandelier with lit candles hanged above them and illuminated the cavernous room while thick, lush curtains covered the large windows. Front of them stood a large long polished dinner table with a variety of food with people sitting in the allocated seats around the table. They were not the only ones invited. The king’s married daughters and sons with their spouses and other royal family members and lords sat before them. King Lorenz and his wife Avis sat at the end of the long feasting table. The position distinguishing them and giving them a full view of the room, easy to see everyone and monitor everything.
Nara bowed in curtsey before the two Majesties dressed in finery and poised regally on the high back chairs.
“You may sit” came king Lorenz’s nasally voice.
Without wasting a moment Nara and her family sought their seats among other nobles. The room was too quiet, the air buzzed. She could feel the others’ gaze on them as she straightened her skirts beneath the table. She lifted her head and spared a glance at the king. Lorenz was a middle-aged man, who had little wrinkles the corners of his eyes, a broad, long nose and brownish grey hair. He was arrogant, sleazy, greedy and guileful. He whatsoever had no vital skills in the combat department. Nara wasn’t sure anymore his sneaky ways would save them. She inwardly prayed to the gods he’d have a better strategy and he was merely biding time for the right moment to execute it.
Or he would be forced to defend himself with a sword he cannot wield. An embarrassment. Nara reflected grimly. She scanned the familiar faces of the other elites sitting opposite to her. Just to say, they were not happy and smiley. They had stark expressions almost downright grim.
“Many of you are wondering why I am throwing a feast when we could be discussing important issues” King Lorenz voice interrupted her perusal. She turned her head and watched him, and he stared back at her, a little too long then shifted his eyes to another person. “All in due course we’ll approach the subject you all wish to hear” he continued.
Nara stuck her tongue to the roof her mouth in annoyance. This is the reason she disliked the court and its politics and avoided at all cost. The pleasantries, the need to butter and prep someone before the butchering began. In the army. There were orders and executions. Simple as that…
No person in the room needed to be softened with spreads to hear Kalil’s deception. Well except Ingrid. Nara glanced at her little sister. There was nothing she could do to spare her from the upsetting situation they were soon going to discuss.
“But before we get to it, let us all enjoy ourselves.” the king announced with a splitting smile. The queen who’d remained muted all the while was the first to pick up her crystal cup set in front of her and delicately sipped the wine, a gesture for the rest to commence. A relieved sigh was expelled by the lords and ladies in the room, bursting the suffocating bubble. It became airy. Nara squeezed little patience she had left and turned her attention to the food set before her. She picked up the silver sharp table knife with one hand and with the other she used her fork to cut into the roasted wild goose. Nara effortlessly cut a chunk of meat and placed onto her plate. Chopping the meat into sizeable eating pieces, she began to devour them.
The occasional clink of silverware sounded in the room as two servants walked about refilling glasses with expensive wine. Although she was enjoying the exquisite cuisine, something was not right. She tried to ignore the feeling and savor the various dishes, but she couldn’t tune out the off the dark sense after having her fifth bite. Reluctantly she lifted her head, neglecting to eat and studied the room. Her eyes searched about, and her ears became alerted for anything which appeared off.
Then it hit her. Where is General Tatu, and the mage? They were not anywhere to be seen.
General Tatu and the mage, the two most influential people whose absence could not be substituted for half of the individuals in the room. Even the General’s second in command Barra was not here to say he stood on behalf of him. A wave of alarm settled slowly in her gut. What the heck is going on?
“I am quite disappointed” Lorenz’s grumble had everyone directing their heads at him. “I was certain the food will be good, loosen you and put you to comfort with each other. My deductions were wrong.”
He frowned, then quickly his expression lit up. His sudden change was so strange, Nara narrowed her eyes.
“Well since all of you are tongue tied and none wishes to make small talk. I will volunteer to start” Lorenz straightened his crown and sat more upright. Every other person stopped what they were doing and directed their attention fully on the king. “I’ll skip the report dealing with Kalil attack since many of you are familiar with the situation by now. However, another important factor has come to light, Amahle has also ceased trading with us. They have also seized our trade ships in their harbor, holding our people captive” he rested his arm on the on the armrest and paused, waiting for his words to sink in.
Everyone chanced a glance at Nara and her family and focused specifically on her mother. Her mother had initially married her father over the trade deal between Murisa and Amahle. Once a marriage based on political deals turned into more between the two human chest pieces.
Wait! What?
Nara expression hardened as a coldness so unsettling creeped to her bones. What’s he implying?
Lorenz flashed a wounded look as he spoke again. “Abasi’s betrayal has struck me greatly. An action none of us could’ve predicted. The queen and I grieve for the ones we lost in Latrell” His face flushed with fury, his nose flared. “I swear the only way to heal this great wound that he has caused to our people is only through retaliation!” his voice boomed, rising a few angry shouts from the lords and ladies. “But this new revelation of Amahle. What do we make of it? Someone tell me?” Lorenz asked with pleated anger.
Nara’s stomach sunk. Bewildered and confused, her eyes sought her parents for an explanation… truth.
Their backs were stiff as a rod, a grim expression sat on her father’s face while her mother had an angry look. Her gaze drifted to Ingrid who sat beside mother. Her chest tightened at the sight of he
r little sister. A frown mixed with confusion marred her sweet young features.
“Isn’t Amahle part of Kalil now?” a lord of a lesser title voiced, Nara had not seen before.
“In all things, alive! It can’t be Amahle too is associated in this treachery” a baroness exclaimed in extreme disbelief. Murmurs accompanied with accusatory glares and words were thrown toward her and her family.
Nara couldn’t believe her ears. They were blatantly accused of being conspirators without proof. And the keep watched all these playout in silence, he didn’t command them to shut up. The lords were doing his work. He only needed to rouse suspicion for the gullible men and women to believe and accuse her family.
Fury washed her as fused together with the hurt of betrayal constricting her chest.
Bastard! She jerked her brown steely gaze to the king, let him see the anger and hatred he caused. She found it to be a curse being related to this man. Glaring at him, sitting with his chest puffed up made her want to beat the smugness from his face.
Nara ground her teeth. She and her family were no sitting ducks to be used as a scapegoat.
“Your Majesty, my family, have no part in Abasi’s actions,” Nara protested.
“How can you prove it?” the king snarled, then turned to her father sending him a sour look. “Explain it to me, why was Thani demanding we should call a truce with Kalil?”
Shock sliced through her. Was this what her father had been reluctant to say? Is this even true? Nara wanted to ask her dad. Still, she knew just turning looking at him, would only give the king satisfaction and provide more room for suspicions that her family was involved in this conspiracy.
“Wouldn't that be a good solution than going to war with them and endangering us all?” Nara spoke, keeping her emotions in control. The king scoffed, his face beet red and his raging eyes boring into her as he spat. “You are no better than your father. Do you possibly believe a self-ruling Kalil would do well for us? Our commerce would crumble. Who would supply us cheap labor to build our ships and sell crops to us for minimum payment?”