by TJ Thomas
“I was too, actually. But I wanted to spend time with you.”
“I’m glad.” Cam was so shocked she didn’t know what else to say. Dawn seemed to be relaxing around her, but she didn’t want to push her luck. She enjoyed spending time with Dawn and getting to know her at whatever pace she was comfortable. However, Cam’s feelings for Dawn were already surpassing friendship. She wondered how much longer she could contain them.
Chapter Twelve
Dawn didn’t know why she had agreed to go dancing with June and Kate. She would be a third wheel. But when Kate had asked, she had thought it might be fun to get out of the house and out of her head for a while. Now they were on their way to Rich’s and it was too late to change her mind. She decided to make the best of it, and if she wasn’t having fun in an hour, she’d get a Lyft. She enjoyed hanging with Kate and June. Maybe she would have a good time.
They made their way into the club. The DJ was spinning music that inspired quite a crowd on the dance floor. They managed to snag a table halfway between the dance floor and the bar. June took their drink order and made her way to the bar. Kate grabbed Dawn’s hand. “Let’s dance.”
On the dance floor, moving to the beat, Dawn relaxed and started to have fun. Given the pace of the music, it was comfortable to dance with her friends. But every time the DJ slowed the music, Dawn went back to the table and gave June and Kate space. She hadn’t quite made her way back to the table during the latest slow song, when she saw Cam leaning against the wall nearby. Her heart rate was already high from dancing, but the sight of Cam made it race even more.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were busy tonight.” Dawn hadn’t meant for it to sound as accusatory as it came out, but she hadn’t prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions Cam always evoked from her.
Cam quirked an eyebrow. “I was. I’m not anymore. I wanted to dance. Dance with me?”
Dawn hesitated. Things were easier between them and she’d danced with Cam at dance class many times, but there was always more space between the partners in swing dancing and she’d always had time to steel herself before she stepped into Cam’s arms. This felt too unexpected, too raw. On the other hand, the song was almost over and she didn’t want to be rude. “Okay.”
She wrapped her arms around Cam’s neck and Cam pulled her closer. They moved together seamlessly.
Dawn couldn’t read the expression in Cam’s eyes, but she was close enough to feel her heart racing. Her own breathing increased, and she didn’t even want to try to stop herself from wrapping her arms more tightly around Cam.
As the final notes of the song played, Cam pulled away from her quickly. Then Dawn saw Lori and realized she’d pulled Cam away from her. She could only watch helplessly as Lori shoved Cam. Cam wasn’t prepared. She lost her balance and fell. When Dawn saw Cam go down, her anger flared.
“Lori, what the hell are you doing?” Dawn helped Cam to her feet.
Lori glared at Cam. “She shouldn’t be touching you. You’re mine.”
Dawn saw June and Kate standing beside her. It gave her the confidence to face Lori head on.
“She’s just a friend.”
“Clearly, she’s more than a friend or you wouldn’t be dancing to this slow ass music with her.”
“It was a dance, Lori, nothing more. But I don’t belong to you or anyone, and I can dance with whomever I’d like. I told you a long time ago to stay away from me. Now back off or I’m going to call the cops.”
Lori stared hard at them for what seemed like a long time. Then she held up her hands. Before she backed away, she said, “This isn’t over.”
Cam witnessed the exchange and felt the tension. Her instinct told her to defend Dawn, but her gut told her she needed to let Dawn handle this. Dawn’s words sounded calm and confident, but Cam was standing close enough that she felt her vibrating with energy. When Lori walked away, she felt Dawn release a long breath. “Why don’t we get out of here?” Cam said.
They gathered their things and walked into the night. Dawn seemed lost in thought. Cam, June, and Kate stood looking at one another trying to process what had just happened. Finally, June spoke. “Does anyone want to go grab a drink somewhere quiet?”
Dawn shook her head. “I think I’d rather just go home tonight.”
“We understand,” Kate said.
“I can give you a ride. I’m headed home too,” Cam said.
“Thank you. That would be great.”
Cam led Dawn toward her truck. The drive home was quiet. Cam kept hoping Dawn would open up and tell her about Lori and their previous relationship, but Dawn stayed silent.
*****
Saturday morning, Cam had finished her usual weekend chores and wasn’t interested in anything she found on television. She’d already played fetch with the dogs. It was a gorgeous summer day and she had no idea what to do with herself. Finally, she pushed off the couch. She had to get out of the house. She grabbed her keys and leather jacket and headed for her motorcycle. Maybe she’d just ride for a while and see where the road took her.
She pulled open the front door just as Dawn was about to knock and almost bowled her over with momentum. Cam instinctively reached out to grasp Dawn’s hips to keep her from falling over.
“Oh!” Dawn exclaimed in surprise.
“Sorry,” Cam said automatically.
Catastrophe averted, Cam and Dawn stood studying each other. Dawn was so close Cam could smell her soft scent. She released her and took a step back when what she wanted to do was pull her closer and taste her.
“Well, hi,” Cam stammered awkwardly.
“Hi, are you heading out?”
“Yeah, I thought I’d go for a ride. It’s such a beautiful day.” Cam paused. “Wanna come?”
Dawn’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to. The weather’s so nice. I was coming over to see if you were up for a ride. I thought we could drive for a while and then grab lunch down at the water or something.” Dawn nervously bit her lower lip. “If you want to.”
Cam didn’t answer right away. Her gaze was drawn to Dawn’s mouth. Cam raised her eyes to Dawn’s and tried to keep her voice casual. “Sounds great, let’s get you a helmet.”
As Cam led the way to the garage to find Dawn a helmet, Cam asked, “Is there anywhere in particular you want to ride?”
“No, I just thought it would be nice to get out of the house. And I wanted to spend time with you.”
They headed north on the Pacific Coast Highway. Dawn wrapped her arms tightly around Cam and leaned her head on her back. Cam ignored the swift kick of heat she felt with Dawn so close. The ocean was on their left as she maneuvered the bike through Del Mar, Solana Beach, Encinitas, through Carlsbad, and into Oceanside. She stopped in a parking lot overlooking the ocean. Continuing any farther north would put them on the interstate. Cam enjoyed the slower pace of the scenic coastal road. They got off the bike and removed their helmets. Dawn shook out her hair and the sunlight made the red seem to burst with flame. “That was great! I didn’t realize how much I miss being on a motorcycle.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“I am.” She clasped Cam’s hand. “Let’s go walk on the beach for a little while.” Dawn slipped off her shoes and rolled up her jeans.
Cam pulled off her boots and set them next to Dawn’s. She took Dawn’s hand again. “Lead the way.”
Once they were down on the beach, they headed for the water and walked along the water’s edge. “Can I ask you something?” Dawn asked.
“Sure, if I can ask you a question in return.”
“Okay. How did you come to live with Cindy and Lynn during high school?”
“That’s a complicated story. The condensed version is that when my parents were going to be stationed in India for my dad’s job with the state department, I didn’t want to go. I hated the idea of leaving my friends, all the activities I was involved in, and everything familiar. My mom kept trying to convince me that it was an excelle
nt opportunity to learn about another country and other cultures. I was having none of it. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to stay in San Diego. So then I just had to figure out a way to make that happen in a way my parents would agree with.”
“And Cindy and Lynn were the answer?”
“Eventually. I didn’t think of them at first. I mean I was fourteen and they didn’t have any kids, so it never occurred to me. Why would they want to take on a teenager? But I was out at their farm one day, helping Lynn with something. I was doing some pretty heavy duty complaining, throwing myself one heck of a pity party because I couldn’t think of a way to stay. Lynn looks at me like I’m not very bright and she said, ‘So why haven’t you asked us?’ I didn’t know what to say other than explain why I thought they wouldn’t want me. Lynn studied me very carefully and then she said, ‘I don’t see any kids around here. All I see is a bright young woman who knows what she wants. Wouldn’t hurt to have someone around for a while that can help out around the farm, once her schoolwork is done of course.’ After that it all fell into place in my head. All I could think to say was, ‘I could do that.’”
“Your parents simply agreed to that plan?”
“No. It took a little more convincing and a number of conversations about rules, keeping my grades up, and all that stuff. I had to wait them out, you know be patient while they got on board. But they knew once I have my mind set on something, I don’t let it go easily. Cindy had been a family friend for many years and they trusted her. I’m not sure there was anyone else they would have left me with, so this was a solution that seemed to work for all of us. I’d go visit my parents for a few weeks on school breaks. Otherwise I lived with Cindy and Lynn all through high school, and their place was still my home base during college.”
“That’s amazing. Where are your parents now?”
“They’re stationed in China. Dad keeps making noise about retiring. I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“It must be hard having them so far away. My parents are only in North Carolina and I miss them quite a bit.”
“Sometimes, but it’s easier now that we can video chat. I don’t regret the choices I made. I would do it all over again because it’s gotten me where I am today.”
Dawn walked on silently for a few minutes thinking about what Cam had shared. Cam’s younger self certainly seemed like a pretty determined person. Dawn could see that in the adult Cam as well. She would not be easily thrown off course once she’d made up her mind today either. Dawn needed to remember that. She bent down and picked up shells every now and then and inspected them. Most she dropped back down into the sand, but a few she kept in her hand. “You had a question for me.”
“I do. How did you decide to become an artist? Or was it even a conscience decision?”
“It’s interesting that you ask it in that way. I’ve loved drawing and painting since before I can remember. My parents have pictures of me at this little easel when I was five or six. I’m sure my work has improved since then, but it seems like it’s always been a part of who I am. Growing up, there was never a model for living that life. There was always this voice in the back of my head that I couldn’t survive with art alone. I’m not sure where that little voice came from because both of my parents were always super supportive of me and my choices.
“So even though I majored in art, I minored in business because I needed a backup plan. I worked in banking for a number of years and saved everything I could. One day I realized I hadn’t painted in months. I was working so much there wasn’t much time left over for my passions. So I put some thought into it and came up with a way to make a change. The idea of the T-shirt design business was a way to fund what I really wanted to do which was paint and spend time in the yard with my gardens. Making the leap from working for someone else to being my own boss was a very deliberate decision.
“Now I set my own hours. I paint when I want, occasionally design T-shirts, and blow both off if I want to spend a whole day in the yard. I call the shots. I decide when and if I want to sell my paintings. It’s a pretty nice gig. But if I never sold another piece, I’d still keep painting. There are so many things, so many scenes, so much in this world that needs to be shared, which is why I sell my work. But I paint for me. I want to see those pictures on a canvas and not just in my head. Of course my studio would be much fuller if I stopped selling my work.”
“True. I’d love to see those pictures of you as a kid.”
“I’m sure my mom would send them if I asked, but why?”
“I like to understand who you are, what makes you you. In case you haven’t figured that out.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed.”
Cam had never seen Dawn this carefree. She didn’t want to do anything to scare her.
Eventually, they made their way back to the parking lot. “Are you hungry?”
Dawn nodded. “I will be soon, but why don’t we head south for a little while before we stop? Maybe we can find somewhere in La Jolla for lunch.”
“I know just the place,” Cam said as she pulled her boots back on.
Dawn slid her shells into her jacket pocket and climbed back onto the bike and once again wrapped her arms tightly around Cam. When they stopped again, it was at a seaside restaurant in the middle of La Jolla. The hostess seated them next to a window with a view of the ocean. Aside from working in the yard, this was the most time Cam and Dawn had spent alone. It felt comfortable and easy. Dawn seemed relaxed and Cam noticed there was no hesitation between them today. Cam was hopeful.
Later, Cam parked the motorcycle in her driveway and she and Dawn dismounted. Once again, Dawn shook out her hair after she took the helmet off. Cam ached to run her fingers through it. Instead she stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets.
Dawn set the helmet on the seat. She held out her closed hand in front of Cam like she wanted to give her something. Cam took her hand out of her pocket and held it palm up.
“This is for you.” Dawn placed one of the shells she’d found in Cam’s palm. “To remember today.”
Cam wanted to say so much more than she did. I won’t ever forget today. Instead she said, “Thank you.”
“Thank you for a great day.” Dawn stood on her tiptoes and kissed Cam lightly on the cheek.
“It was my pleasure.” Cam’s hand tightened around the shell. She forced herself not to take more than was being offered. Her restlessness returned as Dawn walked across the yards and into her house.
The hours they spent together were easy and carefree. The lightness she felt in Dawn’s presence reminded her of time with Melanie. It wasn’t the same. They were two very different people. However, Cam felt at peace and comfortable with Dawn as she had with Mel. It wasn’t a feeling she found very often. She stroked the shell with her thumb. She put it in her pocket and went to check on the dogs.
Chapter Thirteen
Dawn saw Cam heading into the hospital just as she headed out. It surprised her enough that she called to her. “Hey, Cam. What are you doing here?”
Cam’s face lit up when she saw Dawn. “Hey, yourself. I’m here to visit some friends. How about you?”
“Visiting a friend also.” Then she realized what Cam said. “Wait, did you say friends?”
Cam shrugged. “Yeah, I hang out with the kids on the oncology ward sometimes. You want to come with me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Up to you, but I promise, it’ll be fun.”
Hanging with kids who have cancer will be fun? This I have to see. “Okay, I’ll come up for a few minutes.”
“Great, let’s go.”
As she walked through the halls of the hospital with Cam, Dawn thought about backing out. But Cam seemed almost giddy with excitement, and Dawn was drawn to that.
When she entered the ward, Cam made a beeline for the nurses’ station. She leaned on the counter and talked directly to the petite, black woman almost hidden by a pile of charts. “Hi, beautiful.”
The nurse look
ed up and the face that scowled at the papers in front of her broke into a big grin. “Well hi, Cam. I didn’t know you were coming today.”
Cam shrugged. “I needed a dose. You know how it is.”
“Of course I do. Who’s this?” She nodded at Dawn.
“Tanya, this is my friend Dawn Oliver.”
“Nice to meet you.” Dawn offered her hand over the pile of charts.
“You too, dear.” Tanya turned back to Cam. “All right, honey, any friend of yours is cool with me.”
Cam and Dawn walked the last few feet and the automatic doors opened. Cam was quickly surrounded. It seemed to Dawn the children multiplied. It felt like absolute chaos, but Cam had a huge smile on her face. When Dawn could finally make sense of things she counted only about fifteen kids between five or six to probably seventeen.
There were a few adults in the room, parents, and nurses from the look of things, and most of them observed silently and smiled. The kids walked from their beds, some pulled IV stands, and a few came rolling over in wheelchairs. A couple of the kids had surgical masks on, apparently a precaution against germs their young bodies couldn’t fight during their current stage of treatment. One little girl with a smooth, bald head raced to Cam and threw her arms up in the air, obviously asking for Cam to pick her up. Cam easily swung her onto her hip and greeted all of them.
“Hi, everyone.” Then she studied the girl in her arms. “Daphne, are you feeling up for it?”
Daphne nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, please, let’s do it.”
Cam swung Daphne onto her shoulders and addressed the rest of the room. “Okay, places, everybody.”
Without another word, the kids and parents alike piled onto couches and chairs around a little stage. Two of the kids went to the back of the stage and began looking through a trunk. One of the older kids went over to some equipment on the side of the stage and pushed some buttons but waited for Cam before he did anything more.