by J.D. Selmser
Chapter nine
Scars on my heart
It seemed like forever since we arrived at the local hospital, if you could call it that. There wasn’t anything really wrong with it, that I could point out, except for the fact that it moved at a turtle’s pace. Across from me sat an old man wearing dirty green work clothes holding his hand, which based on the bloody rag wrapped around it, there must have been quite the gash on his hand and over in the corner was a heavy woman whose hair looked like it hadn’t had a comb run through it in quite some time. She kept making this smacking sound as she pushed her false teeth in and out of her mouth.
The older man from school was the vice principal Mister Andersen. It was obvious that he took his job at the school seriously and probably cared about its students, but I think Kristina was special to him. Sitting back with his hands folded across his lap he said, “I suppose you won’t tell me what happened, will you? Even if I offer to expel you from school?” His eyes were squinted and his face was stone cold, but I could see he was bluffing. He had that all bark no bite look in his eyes. I’d seen that with Mister Redding at Confederation High School. It was more of a way of showing you the worst possibilities so that he could get you to choose the action he wanted you to and think that you had won. “Because we are here at the hospital, I need to call the police.”
I didn’t think a look of defiance would work on him. I could see the gears turning inside his brain. He knew that out of the three hundred or so students attending the school, I was the only person who openly wanted to be Kristina’s friend and that gave me power here and now. “You know that I can’t rat out family drama to you.”
Smiling he stated, “So you are admitting it was your cousin Cliff who did this to you because of your friendship with the young Harris girl.” Snapping his fingers, he got excited, “I knew it.”
“That’s not what I said.” I knew by the way he sat back and disappointment filled his face, that as much as he liked Kristina, he hated Cliff. “It was just family horse play that got a little out of control.”
“Okay, so if that’s the way you want to play it, I will suspend you for a week unless you tell me what really happened.” I watched his face and couldn’t read him anymore. He had to be bluffing. He was walking her to her locker so he actually cared about her. Not in a creepy way, but in that fatherly way where a teacher sees a spark that he wants to protect and encourage.
“So I am out for a week.” My whole stomach was in knots as I tried to justify ruining Jason’s life in order to save my soul. Would this make my task impossible or just another hoop I had to jump through to see Heaven. “Cliff didn’t do this. It was a couple of other boys.”
“Their names?”, he asked.
“I don’t know.”
His eyes went wide, “Is that how you want to play it? You have lived here all your life. Your family is a staple of the community and you want me to believe that you don’t know who smashed your head into the locker.” He was shaking his head, “You will need to do a lot better than that Mister Hines. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t suspend you?”
“I need this week is all I can tell you. Just turn a blind eye for four days.”
“What do you need four days to do Jason? Do you really think that you can make the world stop teasing Kristina in four days? I have been trying to stop your school from making her life a living hell for over a year and I keep failing. If only it was possible, I would give you the whole year to do it. You can’t say I am a Hines and make it go away.”
“No I can’t, but trust me. I need four days to redeem myself.”
That’s when his face changed and I saw concern in his eyes. “What do you think you did that requires redemption? I hear all the rumors. Those I can act upon and those that I am helpless to do anything about. Your name has never come up in any of them. With your family name there are rumours, but as far as I knew, you weren’t part of it.” I wanted to tell him everything. I don’t know why I wanted to even do it. It wasn’t like we were friends or I had any reason to trust him, but I think he actually cared. Maybe not about me, but he cared about Kristina’s future. It suddenly occurred to me that at the end of this, he would still be the guy walking her to her locker, trying to protect her. In four days, I was still going to be dead and Kristina would be alone again, except her aunt and this teacher would still be here trying to protect her.
I saw Kate walking in, but Kristina wasn’t behind her. Mister Andersen looked up and smiled as he said, “Kate it’s been too long. Every time I see you I think of that shy little flower walking into school dreaming of being a doctor.”
Laughing she said, “Hey I became a veterinarian which is close to what I dreamed of becoming.”
Still smiling he added, “And your patients don’t whine as much I bet.”
“Well that’s the truth.” I think the mother hen instinct came into effect as she pulled away the cloth and examined my wound. “Oh it’s only a scratch. Five stitches I think. I do worse than that shaving my ape legs.” Looking at Mister Andersen, she seemed annoyed as she said, “Was the hospital really necessary?”
He shrugged and said, “It’s an accountability thing. You know how the law is now. I called and left a message on the answering machine, but the message said his parents wouldn’t be back for two weeks, so I brought him here.”
Kate was looking out the door and said, “I knew that this day was going to get worse. It’s your uncle Huey and I don’t want anything to do with him. He’s as crooked as a bag of snakes. I know that he is your family, but your cousin wronged Kristina and he just swept it under the carpet like nothing happened.”
I looked and saw an older version of Chris walking in wearing black pants with yellow stripes all the way down. Son of a bitch I thought. No wonder no charges were laid. Cliff’s uncle was a cop and seeing how the family moto seemed to be family first, they would throw her to the wolves before turning on the dirty bastard.
“Now don’t think I blame you. I know that you were three hundred miles away and unlike other members of your family, you don’t have a bad bone in your body. You get that from your momma I think.” Still glaring at Officer Huey she added, “I am going for coffee then home. Not because of you mind you, but because I won’t stay in the same room as him. Kristina is upset and worrying about you. When you get home, give her a call and tell her that it’s not your fault.”
If looks could kill, I am sure Kate’s was throwing daggers at dear old uncle Huey. Mister Andersen explained what happened and what he saw then excused himself. As he walked away he added, “Tomorrow morning we will talk Mister Hines. Either you give names or else you will be suspended. Now I don’t think you are to blame and I understand horse play, but this all happened in my hallways at my school so I need answers.”
“Yes Sir.”, was all I said. I couldn’t allow myself to get suspended. Too much was at risk for me to just take the fall. Kristina’s life and my soul hung in the balance if I wasn’t able to save her and I didn’t like Cliff. He was too arrogant and high on himself plus he was a god damn rapist. Tomorrow I would tell him the truth and unfortunately for this Jason when he returned from his granny’s funeral, he’d have to deal with the consequences of my actions. At least that way Kristina would be alive.
After another two hour wait, I was sitting inside police car. “You hungry?”, horrible uncle Huey asked. “Its almost 8 PM.”
“No.”, I said, trying to figure out what I should call him. My forehead had a goose egg on it the size of a golf ball. Every time I touched it, a little shooting pain ran along it. Seven stitches in all. It might not seem that bad to most, but up until today, the worst injury I had ever had was a paper cut when I was ten and if I remember correctly, I wanted to cry then.
“Oh don’t look so glum. You are a Hines and have been through a lot worse than that. Yes, I know your pride might be hurt, but that’s part of being a Hines too.” He was driving through town, smiling like nothin
g had happened at all. “So I assume you heard what that Harris girl accused your cousin of doing right? Well it’s all lies.” I wasn’t sure how he expected me to respond, but my gut instinct told me not go argue with him since it looked like he just expected me to listen. Another case of family first I guess. “Now he is sorry for what happened and has been punished for it, but you know how girls like her are. They send mixed signals then cry rape even though, at the time, they really wanted it.” I was about to tell him just how wrong he was when he stopped the car and turned facing me. “I investigate two or three rapes a year. Now I will admit that in some cases, it’s terrible when I investigate it and in those cases it’s a crime. I have no issues with them being punished, but there are rare cases like this.”
“What are those rare cases?” He seemed surprised by my question, but I needed to know how he justified letting a criminal get away with raping any woman. I wanted to see inside the mind of monster’s guardian.
“Well Sir, you always were an inquisitive little bastard weren’t you? I guess you have your momma’s brains.” Pulling a cigarette from the pack, he offered me one and when i declined, just smiled, “I guess if I seen my grandmother die of emphysema, I would quit smoking too. Anyway, I assume that you have heard of that Harris girl’s reputation?” Before I could answer, he continued, “I won’t tell you because your mamma would have a cow if she heard I told you. Now I don’t even blame her. It’s the way she was raised. No pride or dignity. I read about her past and it’s always somebody else’s fault. They tricked me into doing this or they blackmailed me into this and now she wants to ruin your cousin’s life. If I thought he was really guilty, I would do something about it. You can take that to the bank.” He started driving again, “Besides you know that your cousin isn’t that kind of guy. She emailed him pictures. I even seen them.”
“How did she email him?”
“With a computer.”, he said with a smile. “How else do you think girls like that get into trouble. It’s another curse born of the modern age.” It was that smug closed minded look on his face that made me want to slap the smile off his face. It never occurred to me until now that to some, a woman had to prove she was a victim. It never occurred to me that in some cases, guys like me are rewarded for being terrible people.
“So uncle Huey, can I ask you a question?”
Still smiling he said, “Yes, anything.”
“How did she email him if she doesn’t have a computer?”
“Today it’s all cell phones boy.” He wasn’t trying to hide the shock even though he was trying to find a valid excuse to justify his way if thinking.
“I don’t think she has a cell phone either.”
“Boy, who’s side are you on? Are you sweet on that girl Jason? Don’t you think of going near her because she is a shark, boy”
I didn’t know what the hell say really. I think I was sweet on this girl. Maybe that was the whole point. She needed to feel loved and I needed to be consumed with guilt. She wasn’t a girl like that. She wasn’t that type of girl. She was the amazing type of girl. Now all I needed to do was convince her and the world that she was the kind of girl that can inspire greatness if you can only open your eyes and really see her.
“Listen Jason. I don’t have all the answers, but I will think about it. In the meantime, I will make sure your cousins leave her alone ok?” He seemed to think that offering a little gesture like that could fix it, but it might help Kristina in the long run. I was dead regardless, but maybe I could ensure that the Hines family’s guilt forced them to protect her rather than add to her torment. “I told them not to go near her because she was trouble, but you know, boys will be boys.”
“No that won’t be enough. Tell Cliff that he is to make sure everybody knows that the Hines family is going to protect her like family.”
“Oh you must be joking boy. That’s like saying she is like family.”
“Bullshit.” This must have been the first time Jason had stood up to him because he almost swallowed his cigarette. “I don’t care about reputations. I think family must have pride and I am not proud, uncle Huey.” I figure every redneck family had its own idea of right and wrong as well as pride. Maybe the only thing I had to negotiate with was family pride and shame.
Nodding, he agreed before dropping me off. He pulled into the driveway, sticking his head out the window said, “I know what happened at the school today. Just go to school in the morning and you will be proud of being a Hines.” I watched him pull out and down the highway. Once his tail lights faded out of view, I debated going over and sharing my news with Kristina, but damned if I could think of any way to tell her.
I was sitting on the step looking at Kristina's window. There wasn't any light on and even the house looked dark and uninviting. Kate's car was parked in the driveway along with Mister Andersen's Kia. I wondered if I should go over or stay away. Ideally, my job here was done. Well it should be finished. Katrina would be able to live the kind of life she deserved where at least she wouldn't be hounded every day. Maybe I should just enjoy the last four days I was alive. I earned it. I grabbed a beer I had hidden under the step yesterday. It was warm, but it was better than water. I was done with this.
Hazel's voice mumbled behind me, "You aren't done yet." I turned to see Hazel staring at me in the window and that loud snapping sound followed. The reflection in the window changed as Hazel's smile faded and she started to cry. "You failed." I immediately started running towards Kate's house.