Violent Circle Boxset

by Shade, S. M.

  Skepticism is written all over his face, but he nods anyway, and drops a kiss on my forehead as he leaves the room. “Bailey just called. Do you want me to pick up Aiden while I’m there and save you the trip?”

  “No thanks. I have some stuff to do, so I’ll pick him up in a few.”

  He stops at the front door, then strides back over and pulls me into a hug. My response is automatic. My arms tighten around him and my face burrows into his neck while I breathe in his scent that is suddenly so alluring.

  My racing heart calms, and I can feel my muscles relax. He steps back and grins down at me. “I have to work tomorrow. How about we grill out after I get home?”

  “Sounds good. I’ll make some baked macaroni. Bailey loves it.” See, everything is right back to normal. No harm done.

  I release the breath I was holding as soon as the door falls shut behind him.

  * * *

  Neal’s car is still at the community center a few minutes later when I show up to get Aiden. My head really isn’t in the right place to talk to him again right now, but I have to act like everything is normal.

  Noble, Jani, Wyatt, and Neal all stand together, talking with a woman I don’t recognize. Aiden and Eddie are racing around them, laughing. It looks like they’re getting along better, at least. Jani waves at me as I enter, and Neal gives me a smile that makes my stomach dip and rise.

  As I approach, the other woman turns to me and crosses her arms. She looks at me like I’m tracking in dog shit or something. I don’t know what her problem is, but I am not in the mood.

  “You’re Aiden’s mother?” she demands.

  So, I guess we’re just skipping the niceties. “I’m Veronica, and yes, Aiden is my son.”

  I barely get the words out before she points a finger in my face. Jani’s eyebrows jump up, and she calls to the kids to join her to get their stuff together, leading them away. She knows me well enough to know this won’t be pretty.

  See, I’m the most laid back person you’d ever want to meet, but that doesn’t mean I take shit, especially when it comes to my kid. I’m not one of those parents that thinks my kid can do no wrong, and I make him apologize if he misbehaves in public or wrongs someone, but I don’t care if Aiden pissed on this woman’s feet, she has no right getting in my face.

  “Well, you need to speak to your son! He told my Manny that—”

  “First.” I interrupt, taking a step toward her, which makes her retreat a step. “Get your finger out of my face. Second, don’t tell me I need to do anything. If there’s been some disagreement between our kids, we can discuss it like adults, which usually begins with an introduction.”

  Her lips purse, but I can see a bit of fear along with annoyance. “I’m Madison Blue.”

  “What did Aiden do, Mrs. Blue?”

  Neal, Wyatt, and Noble are all watching, and judging by the way they’re trying not to smile, this isn’t going to be good.

  Mrs. Blue glances around at her audience and huffs, “Manny was trying to talk about Jesus and the story of Easter when Aiden began using foul language.”

  Shit.

  There’s some foul language for her. We aren’t religious, so whatever Aiden said to offend her was probably innocent, but I’m surprised he was swearing. He never does that.

  “What did he say?”

  Noble snorts, covers his mouth, and looks away as Mrs. Blue struggles to answer. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times.

  “Feel free to spell it,” I invite. It’s so ridiculous. She’s like forty years old and she can’t swear?

  Stepping closer, she hisses, “He said penis!”

  It takes me a moment to process, since I was expecting an actual swear word, not a body part. “I-what did he say?”

  “I’m not saying it again!” She glares at me.

  “No, I heard you. He said penis. It’s the context I’m not clear on.”

  “He was talking nasty. He told Manny that Jesus had a penis.”

  Neal loses it, his body shaking as he tries to conceal it. It doesn’t help that Wyatt can’t stop smiling. He owns this place so I’m glad he’s not all pissed off over this.

  Catching Aiden’s eye, I wave him over, and Mrs. Blue calls for her kid. I swear, there are some conversations you never think you’ll have to have. And not discussing religious figures’ genitals has to be near the top of the list.

  “Aiden, Mrs. Blue said you were talking about penises,” I tell him.

  His eyes widen, and he gazes around at everyone listening. I can remember that feeling from when I was a kid, how awful it was to get in trouble in front of people. Kneeling down to his level, I continue. “You aren’t in trouble. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. What were you talking about?”

  Aiden inches toward Neal, and his hand unconsciously attaches to the outer leg of Neal’s jeans. “You said that all boys have penises.”

  We did have this conversation lately. He’s five. These are normal questions for him to have. I just should’ve made it clear it’s not an appropriate topic elsewhere.

  “Manny told me that Jesus was a guy who came back from the dead for Easter. If Jesus is a boy, then he has a penis.”

  This is what she’s all worked up over? I mean, technically, he’s right. Mrs. Blue gives me an expectant look, like she’s hoping I’ll tear into my kid.

  “Listen, Ade, you’re right. Boys have penises. But there are some things that aren’t always appropriate to talk about.”

  “Like vaginas too?”

  There’s not a person within earshot that’s not laughing now, but I manage to keep a straight face.

  “What’s a vagina?” Manny asks, speaking up for the first time.

  “Don’t say that!” Mrs. Blue snaps, and he takes a step back.

  “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was a bad word.” Poor kid.

  “It’s not, a vagina is what girls have instead of a penis,” Aiden explains, as if he’s a pro on the subject.

  “Nuh-uh!” Manny cries. “Girls don’t have nothing! Their butts just go all the way around!”

  “Manny! Go wait in the lobby. Now!”

  Swallowing back a chuckle, I grab Aiden’s hand and look him in the eye. “It’s not appropriate to talk about this stuff in public. If you have questions about private parts, you come and talk to me, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Why don’t you go hang with Bailey for a minute until I’m ready to go?”

  Smiling, he nods and bounces off in her direction.

  Mrs. Blue glares at me as she realizes I’m not punishing my kid for an innocent—and frankly, funny—mistake. “Maybe if you attended church occasionally, your kid would know how to act in polite society.”

  This bitch did not.

  I give her my best smile when I reply. “Maybe if you got some penis every now and then you could pull that giant stick out of your ass and not be such a prude. If you can’t get a real one, Scarlet Toys has a wide selection.”

  Her jaw drops, and she glances around at everyone, clearly expecting someone to come to her defense. When all she gets are shrugs and snorts of laughter, she stalks away without another word.

  “I’m sorry. I will talk to Aiden,” I tell Wyatt, who is wiping tears from his eyes.

  “It’s fine. He’s a kid. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  I join in the laughter as everyone loses it again.

  This is my life as a mom.

  Jesus penis.

  For fuck’s sake.

  “Stop in the office before you leave,” Wyatt tells me. “Cassidy wants to talk to you about something.”

  Great. My kid has probably been telling people his penis sticks up sometimes, since that was another uncomfortable conversation that took place recently.

  Leaving Aiden to hang out with Bailey for another minute, I find Cassidy waiting in the office. “Come in,” she calls with a smile. “How have you been?”

  “Good, how about you?”

  “Can’t
complain. I wanted to see if you might be interested in sending Aiden to our Pre-K program. We’re going to start offering it year round, so it would work like a daycare through the summer, but they’ll still be learning.”

  Sending Aiden to preschool instead of dragging him to work with me would make both of our lives better, but I know I can’t afford it. Even the cheapest daycare services charge almost half my salary, and I don’t have much to spare.

  “That sounds great, and I appreciate you thinking of us, but I can’t afford it at the moment.”

  Cassidy flashes a smile. “The program is new and we’re still finding our feet, but we want it to be a positive force in Morganville. Five spots are reserved for low income families. I’d like to offer Aiden one of those spots. There’s no cost. We’ll be open from seven a.m. to seven p.m. Monday through Saturday. So, he’d be welcome anytime between those hours.”

  Her words permeate my tired brain, and I sink into the chair in front of her desk. “You’re offering me free daycare?”

  “Yes. I spent some time with Aiden last night, and he really enjoyed being here. I think he’d fit in perfectly.”

  My mind is spinning, and I have to push the burst of pride out of the way. The same pride that won’t allow me to accept welfare payments or food stamps. It killed me to move to Violent Circle because I knew the place was known for being the poor side of town, but there wasn’t any choice involved there. It was the only way to keep a roof over our heads.

  Cassidy leans across the desk and lays a hand on mine. “I know what you’re feeling. I used to live in the same apartment you do, remember? We all helped each other, and I know from Jani that you do the same for neighbors who need you. This isn’t charity or a handout. You work hard, and your kid deserves an education and a chance to be with kids his age. Money shouldn’t get in the way of that.”

  Swallowing hard, I nod. “Thank you so much. If you need parent volunteers—”

  Her head falls back as she laughs and leans back. “Oh, we absolutely do. Once he gets settled in, I’ll get with you and we’ll see in what ways you can help.”

  “Okay. What do I need to sign him up?”

  “We just need to see his shot records to make sure he’s up to date on vaccinations.” She whips out a piece of paper and hands it to me. “Here is the overview of the program, how we’ll handle lunch and snacks, field trips, etc. He can start on Monday if you like.”

  “He’ll be here.”

  “Eddie is starting Monday as well, and they’re moving onto Violent Circle this week, so he’ll have a friend here his first day,” Cassidy remarks, scribbling on a paper.

  Or a frenemy, I think, biting back a smile. Wait until Aiden finds out Eddie is going to be his neighbor as well. “Thanks again. I’ll bring the paperwork in with him on Monday.”

  We manage to make it out of the community center without any further drama. Aiden climbs in the backseat, then groans when he sees the baskets full of laundry.

  “Sorry, kiddo. It needs done. I brought your tablet and snacks.”

  Usually, I hate the laundromat as much as he does, but Emily is working today, and I need to talk to someone.

  At least the place isn’t busy. After I get Aiden settled in at a table with a bag of chips, juice box, and his tablet, I load up the washers with this week’s dirty clothes. What I’d give for a washer and dryer at home.

  Aiden is lost in the world of his cartoons when Emily waves me over. She’s working behind the counter, ironing a stack of shirts.

  “Hungover?” she teases.

  “Nah, I only drank one beer.”

  Her lips twitch as she runs the iron across a collar. “I saw Neal leaving your place this morning.” Yeah, I’m sure half the neighborhood did. She continues. “Is this where you swear he slept on the couch and you’re just friends?”

  “No,” I sigh, glancing back to make sure no one is in earshot. “This is where I tell you he fucked my brains out, and all I can think about is having him again.”

  “It’s about damned time.”

  “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

  “Is that you talking or him?” Emily sets down her work, grabs a soda from the table and comes around the counter to stand beside me.

  “Both of us. We agreed it was a one night thing.”

  “So, you’re both idiots.”

  I shove her. “No, we both have kids we have to consider.”

  Emily stares at Aiden. “Look, I can’t speak as a parent, but I’ve seen Aiden with Neal. He adores him. And I know Bailey is close to you.”

  “And we can keep it that way. But if we tried to date and it didn’t work out, we could ruin that.”

  Emily nods. “I see where you’re coming from, but, I think it’s too late for those kinds of worries now. You’ve already been together, you won’t be satisfied with a friendship anymore. I’ve been there.”

  That’s what I’m worried about.

  “I’m just going to act like nothing ever happened, and I’m sure he’ll do the same.”

  “Let me know how that works out.” She grabs my arm and whispers. “That’s the guy I was telling you about. No ring, but always washes a bunch of kid’s clothes. Isn’t he sexy?”

  He is. And his gaze searches out Emily. Smiling, he nods at her, and I swear she practically dissolves into a puddle beside me. “What do you know about him? Other than he wants in your panties?”

  She swats at me. “He does not. I don’t know anything about him. I’ve never spoken to him, other than a passing hello.”

  “So, go talk to him.”

  She scoffs. “Yeah, because it’s that easy. I’ll just walk up and offer him some fabric softener. Besides, he’s probably got a brood of kids and he must have ten years on me.”

  It’s probably closer to fifteen, but the guy is as fit as any twenty-five year old. The only real sign of his age is the gray that peppers his hair and beard.

  “Have we decided we’re both just going to be spinsters and live with a load of cats, then?” I ask.

  “It’s looking more likely. Uh…Veronica?” Emily tilts her head in the mystery man’s direction, and I see Aiden heading his way.

  “Shit. I have to go before he starts talking about Jesus penis.”

  Emily blinks and exclaims. “What?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  Chapter Eight

  Neal

  It’s only been a week and it’s clear the whole no sex with Veronica plan isn’t going to work. No matter how much I tell myself that she’s a young mother who doesn’t need me complicating things, I can’t stop thinking about her. Her smile, her laugh, the way she scratches her jaw with her pointer finger when she’s nervous or thinking.

  Sex with her was way better than I ever imagined, and my imagination is pretty vivid. I want her again. Maybe I could resist if I knew she didn’t want the same thing, but she does. It’s obvious in the way she watches me when she thinks I don’t see. She goes out of her way not to touch me, even in innocent ways, when she never cared before. She’s trying to pull away to keep control which just makes me want her more.

  Things are complicated since neither of us think dating would be good for our kids, so I have a new plan that I’m determined to get her on board with. We’ve both been sex deprived for too long. We need to get it out of our systems. So, we’ll just take our opportunities when the kids are gone or asleep. It’s not the kind of relationship I pictured having at my age, but I also didn’t foresee raising a girl alone and having to put her emotional well-being above my own. If it weren’t for Bailey, I would be all in with Veronica, but I have to put my little girl first.

  The last few years have been lonely. I’ve filled the time working extra hours, and hanging out with the guys from my poker group here and there, but the older Bailey gets the less she needs me. It leaves a lot of time to miss the things I’ve tried to block out since her mother left. I’ve rediscovered a lot of those small joys with Veronica. Little t
hings like eating dinner together, laughing over the kids’ antics, having good natured arguments over T.V. shows. I want her in my bed, but I want her in my daily life more. I have to find a way to make this work.

  It's a beautiful Sunday and I have the day off, so I fire up the grill and text Veronica.

  Me: Hamburgers, ribs, and chicken at my house.

  Her: On my way home. Be over after I shower.

  Me: Stop making me picture you naked.

  After a minute or two, I know she isn’t going to respond to that. Maybe because she’s driving, but more likely she doesn’t know what to say. We haven’t talked about that night since it happened, but I’m not willing to keep pretending it didn’t.

  Aiden rushes around the side of my apartment a few minutes later. “Hey Neal! Mom said to tell you she’ll be here in a few minutes. Me and Eddie are going to the park!”

  He rushes off again before I can reply. I peek around the corner and watch as Eddie joins him, and they enter the playground. There are plenty of other kids there, including Bailey and her friend Amber, who spent the night last night, so they’re fine.

  I hope they stay over there for a bit while I have a little discussion with Veronica.

  She pops around the corner a few minutes later, a covered bowl in her hands. “I made some potato salad last night.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Damn, look at her. Wet hair pulled into a ponytail, jean shorts that end right under her ass, and a clingy shirt that shows off her small curves. “I’ll just put it in the fridge,” she says, and steps through the back door.

  I follow her inside. She turns, shutting the fridge door, and stops when she sees me standing there. “Damn it, Neal! You scared the hell out of me!”

  Her lips are open in surprise, and I can’t stand it anymore. My hand threads into her hair, and I plant my mouth on hers before she can react. It’s the moment when I know for sure I’m not in this alone, because she doesn’t hesitate for even a second before kissing me back and it’s filled with the same amount of passion and desperation I feel.