by Marie Solka
The gentleman running the event registered both of us and gave us nametags. “I’m going to use the restroom one more time,” Greg said. I nodded and waited where he left me.
While he was gone I studied the crowd. The majority of them were men, and most looked stereotypically geeky. There were a few women, all of them dressed in suits and wearing severe looks on their faces. In fact, everyone looked very serious and professional.
Greg returned with a friend. “Samantha, this is Brad. My buddy from work.”
The man who’d given Greg the robe. I smiled and offered my hand. “Pleased to meet you,” I said.
“Likewise,” he said, studying me, not unlike the way Greg did. Maybe it was a scientist thing. I wondered again what exactly Greg had shared with him.
“So you two came a few days beforehand, huh? Got to have a little vacation,” he said to Greg.
“Yep. Seemed like a wise idea. We had great steaks the other night. Went to Bainbridge Island. You should check the place out while you’re in town.”
“If I can find the time I might.” Brad smiled at me again and said, “Nice meeting you, Samantha.” Then he excused himself and left.
“Nice guy,” I said to Greg. “He’s got great taste in sleepwear.”
Greg laughed, then we found our seats and sat down.
As the first speaker prattled on about the past, present, and future of robotics, I watched Greg. He was focused on his every word, listening intently. I, on the other hand, found the sound of his voice a little too soothing, and accidentally nodded off for a moment.
The sound of clapping woke me up. I didn’t think Greg noticed I’d dozed off he was so engrossed. He turned to me and gave me a nervous smile. “I’m up next,” he said. “Wish me luck.”
“You’re going to be fabulous,” I assured him.
He stood up straight and made his way to the stage. Then he set his notes on top the platform and adjusted the microphone. I was wide awake now. Excited. He looked so handsome as he spoke, and I loved listening to the sound of his voice, especially when he discussed robotics, because his voice was always filled with passion.
A woman approached and sat down in the empty seat next to me. “He’s amazing, isn’t he?” she commented in a low voice.
“Yes, he is.” I was a bit taken off guard by her showing up out of nowhere. I didn’t expect to have to interact with other people, just watch his presentation and meet up later for dinner.
She continued to watch him. “I always knew he’d go far,” she said. “I’m glad things turned out well for him.”
“Did you two used to work together?” I asked.
She turned to me and smiled. “You could say that.”
I was kind of annoyed she was chatting with me, distracting me from Greg’s presentation. She didn’t look like she wanted to leave, either. Frustrated, I gave in and continued the conversation. “So how do you know Greg?” I asked.
She looked me in the eye and said, “Well, let’s see. For one thing, he’s my husband.”
I could have sworn this stranger just said my fiancé was her husband. The confusion on my face must’ve registered, because she added, “We’re separated. Haven’t seen each other in a few years. It’s a long story,” she said.
The room began to spin and I felt my stomach twist. I had to get out of there right away. “Excuse me,” I said to her. “I have to use the restroom.”
“Sure,” she said, then turned her attention back to the podium where Greg stood talking.
I rose from my chair and left the building. I didn’t see a cab so I began walking down the street, unsure which direction I was going. I felt off balance and began sweating. Before I knew it I vomited on the street in front of a clothing store.
“Are you okay?” Someone asked, helping me up. My eyes were blurry. I guess I had started crying too. “Can I help you get home? You don’t look well.”
The older man seemed kind. “I don’t live here,” I said. “I’m on vacation. I need to get back to my hotel.”
“No problem,” he said, reaching for his phone. “I’ll call you a cab.”
“Thanks.” I leaned against the side of the building to try and regain my composure, but I couldn’t stop shaking.
A few minutes later the cab showed up and whisked me to the hotel. On the ride over I debated confronting Greg, but then changed my mind. I didn’t want to see him. Not now. Maybe not ever. I was too upset.
“Can you wait here for ten minutes?” I asked the driver. “I need to go to the airport but I have to grab my things.”
“No problem,” he said.
Once in the room I burst into tears. How could Greg ask me to marry him when he was still married? What the hell was his problem? Didn’t he think to divorce his wife beforehand?
As I ripped my clothes from the hangers and stuffed them in my luggage, I tried to sort through all my racing thoughts. All I could do was cry, especially when I looked at the bathtub. I finished packing and glanced around the room, making sure I’d gotten everything. I pulled the room key card out of my pocket and set it on top the dresser. Then I caught a glimpse of my left hand. I ripped the engagement ring off, scraping my knuckle, and set it next to the room key and slammed the door as I walked out.
I hopped in the cab, throwing my luggage on the seat next to me and we sped away. While driving up the street I caught a glimpse of the Space Needle. I was supposed to go there after Greg’s speech. We were to meet later at the restaurant on top. He’d made reservations.
The memory brought on a fresh wave of tears, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. My driver was busy tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the Middle Eastern music that was playing, paying no attention to the backseat drama.
My phone rang. I looked to see who was calling. It was Greg. I hit end so it would go to voicemail, then I put the sound on silent. I didn’t want to hear his sexy voice anymore. His lying sexy voice. All I wanted to do was go home as soon as possible.
I had the cab drop me off at the nearest gate since I didn’t have a flight booked. Then I went to the counter and bought a ticket for the first flight I could get back home. Luckily they had one leaving right away with an available seat, and to my surprise they didn’t screw me on the price.
I got checked in, and within a short time I was boarding. I fastened my seatbelt and took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I was more terrified than ever to fly. I wished I didn’t have to be on the plane alone.
Alone, I thought.
That’s what I was now.
Chapter 34
I must’ve fallen asleep on the plane because I woke to the sound of the captain saying we were landing. I was thankful I’d managed to nod off. I would’ve hated to subject my fellow passengers to rounds of uncontrollable sobbing and the sound of me repeatedly blowing my nose.
I grabbed my luggage and caught another cab back to my apartment. After I walked in I was relieved, happy to be home. I didn’t bother to unpack; I just climbed into bed and curled into a ball. As I lay there feeling numb, I wondered why the man I love would do this to me. I thought he was so sweet, so honest.
Honesty. I huffed. Now that’s a laugh.
I analyzed the situation until I grew tired of my inner voice and fell asleep again. When I woke next my room was pitch black. There was no moon to illuminate it this time. Squinting at the alarm clock I discovered it was just past midnight. My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten all day. Only breakfast, and that I had thrown up.
I made my way to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal. As I stood there munching, I thought about the psychic. “He’s not suitable for marriage,” she’d said. Why she hadn’t just come out and told me he was married I didn’t know. Instead she had to go and get all cryptic. Freaking gypsies.
Since I was wide awake I decided to unpack. I threw all my clothes in the laundry basket and put my toiletries away. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like shit, like an addi
ct strung out on drugs.
I ran a bath and climbed in to soak. As I lay there the same questions ran through my mind over and over again. Why would Greg ask me to marry him when he was married to someone else? Who does that? Why hadn’t they gotten a divorce?
I added one more question – one that made me sigh. Why did I run away without confronting him about it?
As I toweled off I wondered what she was doing at the conference. I mean, she was a scientist, so it made sense she’d be there. Did Greg know? Surely he didn’t.
That was it. He had no idea she’d be there. But she would have known. He was a featured speaker. I thought about the way she looked at him and how she had said he was amazing. I replayed our brief conversation over and over in my mind, looking for clues.
What if she returned to claim him? To fix what was broken? She was a good looking woman too. If I saw them on the street together I’d think they make the perfect couple.
I reached for my phone and turned it on. There were nine new voicemail messages.
“Sam. Please give me a call,” Greg said, sounding frantic. “I have to talk to you. I can explain.”
I deleted it and went to the next message. “Sam. I’m so sorry. It’s not what it looks like. Please call me.”
I listened to the third one. “I just made it back to the hotel and discovered you’re gone. I found Grandma’s ring.” He sounded horrified and broken. “Sam. I can’t believe this is happening. Will you please call me? I really need to talk to you.”
The sound of his voice tugged at my heart. I wanted to call him, but I was just too upset.
“I can’t leave the conference and come home even though I want to. I return on Thursday. Will you please call me Sam? Please give me a chance to explain,” the fourth message said.
I thought about calling, but listened to his next message instead.
On the fifth message he sounded like he’d been drinking. “Sweetie. Please pick up,” he said, his words slightly slurred. “I love you so much. I never meant for this to happen.”
Message number six was longer. “Sam. I didn’t want to say this on voicemail. I wanted to tell you on the phone, but since you’re not calling back, here it goes. After you and I started dating I tracked down Allison and told her I wanted a divorce. I filed the paperwork a while ago but it’s not finalized yet. I had been meaning to take care of that for a long time, even before I met you, but I got busy with work and didn’t make it a priority. Sam. Will you please call me?”
“Sam. I’m really sorry,” Greg said on the seventh message. “I made a mistake. I should’ve told you I was married, that we were separated and hadn’t seen each other in years. I told you part, but not the whole story. I was afraid if I did you might break up with me. I had hoped it could get resolved in the background and it would never be an issue...” There was a beep. I didn’t know if he’d finished talking or if he was cut off.
“I think I got cut off,” he said on the eighth message. “Anyway, I had hoped to get it taken care of before the trip, because that’s where I wanted to ask you to marry me. I thought it would be really romantic. And since the divorce will be done soon enough, I didn’t think it would matter. I realize now how stupid that was.”
What he didn’t realize was she’d be at the conference and we’d run into each other.
I pressed the button to listen to the last message. “I can’t bear to lose you Sam. I love you with all my heart. I swear I never meant to hurt you. I just made a mistake and I’m really sorry. I’ll do anything to repair this. Anything. Please call me.”
I didn’t delete the last one. I just sat on the sofa, thinking. Everything he said sounded believable, but I was still really hurt.
My dad popped into mind. He’d be furious if he found out about this. Especially since Greg went through the trouble to be all proper about things and ask his permission first. Dad was a quiet sort of guy, but fiercely protective of his daughters. There was no telling what he’d do if he learned this news.
I felt my face flush red hot from embarrassment. I didn’t know what to do.
Mom would be crushed if she found out. She was just as excited as I was over how well things were going. She was probably already planning my wedding behind the scenes.
If Tabby found out it would be awful. What kind of big sister would I be if I was a bigger idiot with Greg than she had been with Jack? If anyone deserved to be called a jackass right now it was me.
My stomach lurched at the swirling thoughts. I felt like I might throw up again, so I headed to the bathroom just in case. I kneeled down and rested on the bath mat while clutching my abdomen. My ribs still hurt from vomiting earlier.
Within a half hour the feeling passed. My nerves were shot and I needed to rest, which was exactly what I planned to do since I had the rest of the week off work. As I lay back down in bed I made a decision. I wouldn’t tell my family I was home. I needed time to think this through. Time to figure out what to do.
The hours ticked by and the light of a new day streamed into my room. I had spent the night turning everything over and over in my mind, trying to figure out the best way to handle things with Greg.
I didn’t want to end it and never see him again. I couldn’t do that. I loved him too much. But there was no way I would continue our relationship the way it was now. I understood he screwed up, that he was only human. I wanted to give him a second chance.
But it would be on my terms.
I reached for my phone and texted Greg. I said the only thing I could go along with:
Don’t contact me again unless you’re divorced.
Chapter 35
I spent the next two days at home. Greg didn’t call or text, respecting my wishes. I was grateful, but there was a part of me that wished he’d continue pleading, asking me to call him even though I wouldn’t.
I tried reading a few books to pass the time but couldn’t concentrate. I missed Greg and felt sad I had left Seattle under such terrible circumstances. We had such a beautiful room and a few more romantic nights planned. Once again, I tried to figure out why Allison had showed up at the conference. Was it really just for the event, or was she trying to see him and save their marriage? The way Greg pleaded with me made it seem unlikely he would take her back even if she was interested. He sounded heartbroken. You can’t fake heartbroken, can you? But then again, he had lied to me, and it was a pretty major lie. What if he lied again?
I hated the way my thoughts tumbled around in my head.
The phone beckoned me and I had to fight the urge to call. The only thing I had any control over was my own response to the situation. I could stew over it, overanalyze it some more, or just let it go. I decided to try that. Just let whatever happened, happen. But I’d stick to my decision no matter what. I wasn’t going to bend on that. It wasn’t right to spend time with a married man – even if he was separated from his wife. I couldn’t agree with that. And more than that, he’d broken my trust. And isn’t trust everything in a relationship?
Why was it that the people you loved the most were the ones who could also hurt you the most?
No, I wouldn’t budge on my decision. It was up to him, now.
I just hoped he actually divorced Allison.
My mind wandered again. Did I just give her the opportunity to win him back by abruptly leaving? Maybe she’s comforting him right now, explaining away her previous behavior as a youthful mistake. They could be lingering at some coffee shop talking about scientific breakthroughs and remembering all they have in common.
Why was I putting myself through all this? I felt like I was going insane.
The phone’s keypad was like a siren that called to me. I had to do something to distract myself so I wouldn’t give in.
That’s when I got a brilliant idea. I hopped in the shower and got ready to go visit Mrs. Myszkowski. I hadn’t seen her new place and there never was a better time to visit.
On my way to the assisted living center I stopped at t
he drugstore. I bought some chips, candy, and a bottle of wine. As the cashier rung me up, I noticed the cigarettes behind the counter. For a split second I considered buying her a pack. But then I thought better of the idea. I cared too much for her.
I drove there feeling sure she’d have some good advice. She always did. And for some reason I didn’t feel embarrassed to share the news with her like I did with my family. She was like a therapist, and I found myself smiling for the first time in days just thinking of her.
The woman at the front desk called Mrs. Myszkowski and let her know she had a visitor. Then she told me I could head on over. I knocked on the door of her apartment and Anna promptly answered, wearing a big smile.
That smile disappeared when she saw how sad I looked. “Uh oh. Looks like something’s wrong. Am I right?”
I stepped inside, then pulled the bottle of wine out of the shopping bag. “I’ve been better. But the good news is we have alcohol,” I joked.
She didn’t make any wise cracks. She just offered me a seat on the sofa. “Tell me all about it.”
I took a deep breath, and proceeded to tell her everything that happened. She was delighted and smiled at the good parts, like the marriage proposal, and she grimaced when I told her the story about Allison. When I finally finished bringing her up to date, I had tears in my eyes.
“We better open the wine,” she said matter-of-factly.
Anna wheeled to her mini kitchen and returned with the corkscrew. “I’ll let you do it. I don’t have strength in my hands,” she said.
I took it from her and popped the cork, then rose to get the glasses. “They’re in the cupboard next to the fridge,” she said, pointing.
I poured us each a glass. She sipped hers and I chugged mine.
“Boy. You’re in quite a pickle,” she admitted. “I never would’ve imagined dealing with this predicament.” She set her glass on the coffee table. “But I’ll tell you what: You did the right thing. I know it was tough. And I know you want to call him because you’re worried he may not come back to you. But I’m proud of you. You were dealt an awful hand and you played it the best you could.”