by A. E. Murphy
Cloud nine needs to start charging me rent; I’ll be settled here for a while.
“Will you come with me to the store next Thursday? I really want to show you around before the renovation.” Nathan asks as we share a cup of coffee in our kitchen. The kids are both napping, a rare occurrence but a welcome one. We’re hiding in the kitchen so as to not wake them. The slightest noise sets Dillan off these days. He’s almost passed his nap stage, though they occur randomly still, very rarely.
“On our day off from the kids?” The thought of working on our one time away from the kids for so long doesn’t appeal to me but how can I deny him such a request when he seems so excited? “Sure, but not for long!”
“Of course, there are a few places I want you to see in Essex.”
“Like?”
“You’ll see,” he grins and takes the mug from my hands to have a sip. “Damn I make a good coffee.”
“You do,” I agree. “You’re a coffee snob.”
“Only since you.” He taps the top of our little percolator. “You shouldn’t have gotten me this for Christmas.”
I shrug. “You love it and you make me delicious coffee on demand.”
He grins, waits for me to finish the last of the coffee and turns to place it by the sink. When he stills, my hand goes to his arm, concern flooding my brain at his sudden stop.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, panicked.
He slams the cup down on the side but his eyes remain on something ahead. I peek around him to find the source of his sudden ire. The only thing in his line of sight that I can determine to be the cause of this drama is the picture of Caleb on the top of the microwave.
“Nathan?”
He stares at the photo emotionlessly and I wonder if seeing his brother again is upsetting him. It has been a long time; surely he’s ready to have a piece of him in our home now?
“Why is he on display?”
That wasn’t the question I was expecting, nor was I expecting the cold, low tone it was carried forward on.
I reply, “Because we’ve all missed him and I want Dillan to…”
“Dillan?” He snaps, his tone higher now, angry.
“Yes. What’s the issue?”
He doesn’t respond; he only looks away and licks his lower lip slowly. When I step into his body and wrap my arms around his waist, I try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you still think of him often?”
“What kind of a question is that?” I laugh, though nothing is humorous about this situation. “I think of him whenever my brain conjures a memory over something familiar.”
“So a lot then?”
“I’m not doing this,” I warn him and step away.
“Doing what?”
“Arguing over a dead person!”
“Who’s arguing?”
“Stop,” I snap, feeling my anger rise. “He’s dead, Nathan. Dead. He’s your brother; he’s somebody I loved once very dearly; he fathered my child; he took my virginity…”
Nathan winces but I don’t stop.
“He was my first love. The first guy I brought home to my mum. My first fiancé. I was going to die with him. I was going to grow old with him and I’ll not let you force me to abandon all of that because you’re bloody jealous.”
His jaw tenses and I see the muscle twitch. “Are you finished?”
“Yes. And so are we.”
“What?” His eyes widen so I roll mine and hiss, “With this conversation!”
“Fine,” he hisses back and runs a hand through his hair.
“Fine.”
“You should have spoken to me about it first!” It took him a few moments of silence before he blurted this.
I rub my temples. “Nathan, I don’t have to tell you shit…”
“Language!”
“About SHIT!”
“Gwen…”
“You’re not my dad; you’re not my parent; you are my PARTNER! Start acting like it!”
“Partners discuss things!”
“Yes, things…” I run my own hands through my hair and resist the urge to rip it out. “Such as where we’re going on holiday. Who has the kids and when? We should discuss things like the bills, what we need when going shopping, the weather and it’s potential to ruin any plans…”
“Gwen…”
“Plans that we make together! Unless one of us already has plans with somebody else. Partners do NOT dictate to their partners about what pictures go where when they’ve never had an issue with said partner putting up all of the other pictures around the house! If…”
“Gwen, can I just…”
“If we’ve discussed it before, then we’ll discuss it, but I won’t be told or made to feel guilty over a fucking photo of somebody no longer with us.” And breathe.
“Are you done?” He asks, his arms folded and his brow quirked. I nod. He continues, “Good, then I’m sorry. You’re right. Just… things have been tense between us lately.”
“No kidding,” I whisper but he ignores it.
“I’ve not been forthcoming with a lot of things and I guess I’m scared that I’ll do something to push you away.”
I unfold his arms and step between them. “Then be forthcoming. I’m listening.”
“I will,” he says, nodding. “On our two days off. We’ll sit down and talk about it all. Okay?”
This brings me a tremendous amount of joy. “Promise?”
“I promise.” He grins. “Is your meltdown over?”
I pinch his side. “Is yours?”
“Yes, my Queen.”
I think we handled that a lot better than the last few times we argued. We’re making great progress, he and I.
“Maaaaa!” Dillan yells loudly. “Wha doin?”
“I’m coming,” I call back, giggling. “He’s getting so good at talking.”
“Unfortunately, he’ll be talking back before we know it,” Nathan jokes and follows close behind.
“Maaa!” Dillan screams again as we enter the room. Emily awakens with a screech, unhappy to have been woken prematurely. Nathan goes to her as I tend to Dillan. This is going to be a tough afternoon for Nathan, though not for me. I’m at work soon. I do love my job, though I love being at home more.
Chapter Sixteen
These past two days have gone as slow as could be, but finally Thursday is here. I couldn’t be more excited if I tried.
Sasha arrives at ten in the morning and I’m too quick to kick her and the children out, which has her laughing. The second she’s gone I dive on my fiancé, legs around his waist, lips all over his, and we crash onto the bed, only to wake two hours later feeling groggy, warm and suffocated under his body.
“We’re late!” Nathan yells suddenly, jolting me from my near slumber.
“Huh?”
“We fell asleep.” He peels his body off mine, allowing me to roll over. I’m fully dressed. Didn’t we have rampant animal sex? “Gwen, move.”
“Tired,” I tell him, blinking the sleep from my eyes.
“Gwen!” He grabs my wrist and pulls.
“Don’t make me.” I roll back over and bury my face in the blanket. His hand connects with my arse but I’m too tired to do little more than grunt. His laughter follows.
Hands grab my ankles and pull me down the bed. I drip from it like slime, my body boneless.
“Gwen, come on.”
“Just five more minutes.”
He sighs heavily and sits beside me. “You promised.”
He’s right, I did.
I roll back over and give him my biggest sleepy smile. “I’m up.” Then I raise my arms and allow him to pull my wobbly body from the floor. I stagger into him and inhale deeply when he holds me tight. He doesn’t moan or rush me, just holds me for as long as I need.
“Love you,” I murmur into his dress shirt before pulling away. “I need coffee.”
He slaps my arse again as I leave the room.
That one stung.
“Make me coffee.”
And again. Ouch.
“Stop,” I grin, picking up my pace to avoid his assaults.
“I like it.” He tries again but misses when I jump down the last three steps and skid around the bottom of the stairs.
“Be careful,” he laughs, still chasing me. “I just cleaned the floors this morning.”
He likes cleaning first thing in the morning. He’s so strange. I think it’s because he enjoys the stench of bleach when it lingers throughout the day. I have to admit, I do enjoy walking in and smelling the fresh citrus scent of cleaning fluids when I walk through the door.
I’m becoming as queer as him.
“Stop running with your socks on,” he finally grabs me from behind and pushes me into the wall. Teeth scrape at my neck making me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. He won’t let go. Tears are streaming from my eyes.
“You said we’re late!” I cry, giddy and now wide awake.
On a sigh, he slides his hand down my arm and spins me under his before pulling me back into his chest. I love it when he gets in this kind of mood.
“Let’s go.” His lips touch the tip of my nose.
“Where are we going exactly?”
“To Essex, to the store.”
“And then? Maybe we could go holiday shopping! I need bikinis.”
He clears his throat and shifts in his seat and I sincerely hope that the reason for this and the added flush to his cheeks is because he’s thinking of me in a bikini. “And then to eat. If we have time to shop we will.”
“You’ve found a place?”
“Of course.” He grins and helps me into my jacket. “Come on, we can sleep in tomorrow.”
“Liar.”
I watch his relaxed profile as he leads me from the house. He does seem happy now and that makes me joyous beyond compare. Whatever burdens he carried before don’t seem to be burdening him anymore.
Maybe this is the reason he’s ready to talk to me about it?
Because whatever it is, it’s resolved so I won’t have to worry about it alongside him?
The sooner we get that conversation out of the way, the better. I’ll not push him for it though. I’m just going to enjoy the two days I get with him alone.
“Is it your choice or my choice?” I ask, referring to the radio.
His hand goes to my thigh. “Yours.”
“Yay!” I turn the dial and the stations blur in and out. Why is it that whenever it is my turn to choose the music, there’s no good music on? Sod’s law. In the end, as if fate planned it, we listen to what he wants anyway, not that I mind. I still sulk a little though, just for the hell of it.
“So, what are we doing afterwards?” I ask, excited to see what plans he has in store for me. “You said ‘if we have time to shop’. I doubt going for food is going to take up the rest of the day.”
“Nothing gets by you, does it?” I shake my head in reply and bite my lip. “I’m not telling you.” The twinkle in his eye and smile playing on his lips shows his excitement. Whatever it is, it must be good. I can’t wait; my chest is tingling.
“I’m looking forward to seeing your designs for this store. Are you following the same themes as the others? With the glass cabinets in the middle of the store? I love that.”
“Yes, but I’ve gone for a subtle grey with green accents this time. It’s far from done but I’m extremely excited for this project.”
“I can tell.” I place my hand on his thigh and his hand comes to rest on top. With my free hand I pull up the switch for the window and sigh happily when it rolls down, allowing a cool breeze to filter into the warm car. “Summer has been crap this year.”
“Agreed.” He brings my fingers to his lips and kisses just below the knuckles. “Hopefully today will stay warm.”
“Agreed,” I mimic, beaming from ear to ear. “We’re going to Southend, right?”
“Yeah, the store is facing the beach.”
“How wonderful! You should do mermaid charms.” I sigh wistfully but scowl when he snorts as if my mermaid charms are silly. “What? Everyone loves mermaids.”
“You’re so weird.”
I poke my tongue out at him and turn the radio up, only amusing him further.
We both get peckish on the way and stop to pick up some chips from a popular chippy on the way to Nathan’s store. Long ago seems the time that Nathan wouldn’t allow me to eat in the car; it still makes him nervous but he gets over it.
Gwen: Are they being good? Thank you so much for this! <3
Sasha doesn’t respond which surprisingly doesn’t worry me. I trust her and Tommy. They’re so good with the kids and the kids love them to pieces.
I wonder if Nathan has put any more thought into who we’re going to leave them with, worst case scenario. We really should get life insurance. As morbid as my thoughts are, I just feel as though I can’t sleep soundly until this is sorted.
“We’re almost there.” Nathan’s soft voice carries over the noise of the ocean waves splashing against the shore. It’s a gentle day but the sea is powerful.
I run my hands through my hair and try to stretch as best as I can in the confines of the car. My body aches from being sat for so long.
“Here we are,” he states, slowing down to find a parking space. “There’s a private allotment around the back but it has a trailer and a ton of junk. I want to buy it, clear it and turn it into a little car park.”
“Good plan,” I say, relieved when he pulls up only two stores down from his. It’s rare that we’d find such a great parking space so close to the beach. “Though I’m sure people would use it to go shopping elsewhere.”
“That’s my concern.” He holds up his hand when I place mine on the door handle. His smile is entirely sweet and makes me feel warm inside. “Please, allow me.”
I release my hold of the handle and wait for him to exit the vehicle and come around it, purely to open the door for me.
“You’re so cute,” I giggle as I take his hand and slowly allow my cramped body to exit the vehicle.
Growling, and glowing with mirth, he tugs my body to his and presses his lips harshly to my own. It’s brief but it’s powerful enough to light a fire within my body that can only be doused by his body on mine.
“Let’s go.” His leather clad fingers entwine with mine and pull me towards his store. I notice immediately what I didn’t notice before.
“New windows?”
“Yes, extra security.” He knocks his fingers against the glass.
“The outside is nice. I love the bay windows. It’ll make for a great display.” I inhale sharply as another thought comes to mind. “Can you imagine it all lit up at Christmas? It’ll look like something out of a movie!”
My excitement is making him happy, I can tell.
We enter the store through the slightly open door and I immediately hear a jigsaw as the scent of burning wood fills my lungs. I tense. The burning feeling in my throat as my lungs constrict to protect themselves from the intrusion brings back painful memories. Nathan seems affected too as he sighs with relief when the noise stops and we’re greeted by a large man in overalls, boots, safety glasses over his eyes and a white mask over his face.
“Sorry, boss.” He looks apologetically at us both. “I totally underestimated the speed of time.”
“No problem.”
I’m assuming Nathan warned him to not do any cutting while we are visiting. For this I’m relieved.
“How’s it going?” I ask before Nathan does.
“Great actually. The lads have gone on their break; I’m keeping watch and keeping busy,” the tall, stocky man says and I see his eyes crinkle with a smile hidden by the mask. “I’m Carl by the way. I’d shake your hand but…” He shows me his blackened, dusty hand and shrugs a sorry.
“No problem.” I’m relieved to avoid the shaking of his hand. I look around the open space; it’s narrow but it’s long and I can see where they’re bui
lding the displays.
“Floor looks like it’s going to be good.” Nathan comments, kicking part of the dust cover to the side to view the wooden floor beneath.
“Boys’ll get it all polished up. When we’re done, it’ll gleam like a new penny.”
Nathan nods, his lips smiling subconsciously. I love seeing him in his element. I know he’s imagining all his jewellery in displays across the room. Seeing his visions come to life in his other stores really shines a light into his mind. He has such a good eye. I knew that already from his jewellery but his creativity astounds not just me, but the many people who have offered him partnerships.
This reminds me of the partnership offered to me by Kerim. I really need to speak to Nathan about that. There seems to be so much going on in our individual lives at the moment. I’ve been focusing so much on Nathan’s future, I haven’t yet processed my own possibilities.
What do I even want to do? I always wanted to own my own restaurant. Could I consider the possibility of joining Kerim? Do I really have the talent he claims I do? Or is he after something else? Was Nathan right?
“What do you think?” Nathan asks suddenly, catching me off guard.
I nod, unsure what to say because I drifted while he was talking.
He grins knowingly and loops his arm around my neck. After touching my temple with his lips he whispers, “Come on, let’s check out the back and then we’ll go.”
“The back?”
“Staff area and product exchange.”
“Cool.”
I give a little wave to the joiner as Nathan pulls me through an open hole in the wall that I assume will become a door.
“Panic room space?”
He nods when he sees the corner I’m pointing at. “Same as the others.”
“Good.” I love that he’s cautious enough to think of such things. I certainly hope the panic rooms never get used though.
“I’ll just check on the staff area and we’ll go,” he comments quietly and I’m pulled towards an actual door this time, by what looks to be a half built counter. “The plumbing still not done?”
“Not yet, nearly!” The joiner calls back. “Had to replace the majority of the piping to get it to where we needed it.”