by Jami Wagner
* * *
“You sure ran off in a hurry this morning,” Lance says when I walk through my front door. I head for the kitchen and he follows me.
He didn’t ask me any questions last night. Nothing about Kelsey or the bar. Sometimes I wonder if he really cares what happens or not. He doesn’t seem to concerned about running the BA or being an accomplice to expanding the family feud we have going on between Sara’s dad and ours. Yet he’s still here, just like my father said he would be.
“I didn’t realize I had to inform you of my schedule.”
“Dad seems to think you do.”
“Dad has a control problem.”
Lance glances at me with a shocked expression. I stare back at him, ready for whatever defense he decides to throw my way, but it never comes. Instead, he chuckles as he takes bottled water from the fridge.
“You’re probably the first brother to admit that out loud.” He takes a drink. “And you’re damn lucky you said it to me—Ben might kick your ass.”
“What do you want?” I take a seat at the table. “Uncle Dean doesn’t have anything for me to find. They keep everything clean. There’s no way Dad could pull this off.”
“So tell him that,” Lance says, sitting across from me. “Tell him you can’t find anything and go home.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I made a commitment to Sara. I can’t abandon the bar while she’s gone.”
“Ethan, Dean will be able to handle it just fine.”
I shake my head.
“He’s not here. He’s off searching for a new building so he can make the bar into a chain. That’s why they called Dad in the first place.”
“So there isn’t any reason for you to stay. Not even that girl across the street.”
My teeth grind as I look him in the eyes. “Stay away from Kelsey.”
He laughs. “Okay, so wait a second. Let me see if I have this right. For years, you’ve wanted Dad to know he can depend on you, begging him for the chance to prove it to him, so he sends you here. Then, all of the sudden, an account number is hard to find. You think he’s controlling and now you’re growling at me with an ‘I’ll beat your ass’ look because I mentioned a girl. What happened when you got here?”
I blink a few times as I think about it.
“I guess all I needed was a life without him in it to figure out what kind of person I am.”
Lance nods but doesn’t say anything. A half grin appears on his face as he stands.
“I think I’d better head out. Dad clearly underestimated you, as did I. I thought you’d stay his puppet forever. I’m proud of you.”
He heads for the door and I watch him, still processing the fact he didn’t come here to sabotage me.
“If Dad calls, let’s pretend I’m still here taking over for you. I need some time away myself and you seem to have your shit under control.”
And just like that, he leaves.
One obstacle down and one left to go. All I have to do is build back up Kelsey’s trust and my life will be smooth sailing and secret free.
Chapter Twenty-one
Kelsey
“Gross, you two make me want to vomit.” Beth’s whines from across the table, making me blush. “Can’t I eat my lunch without having to witness people sticking their tongues down each other’s throat?” She guards her eyes with her hands.
“Oh, come on, Beth. When you find someone you’re head over heels for, you will understand.”
“Seriously, Logan, you’re defending them?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“You’re not even dating anyone.”
“But he could be…” Ethan chimes in and nods at Logan. “Right?”
“Yep, that’s right.”
“Whatever. All I’m saying is that I’ve seen this every night I’ve worked at the bar for the last month and a half. Haven’t you moved past this stage yet?” Beth asks.
I grin toward Ethan, who mimics my expression. She’s right. You would think we would be out of this phase, but we’re not even close. My father would be furious if he knew I’ve spent more nights at Ethan’s than guarding his house. I don’t mind it one bit. Waking up with Ethan has been amazing.
Class has been even better. I got the letter this morning about being a finalist in the column competition. Some people from the paper want to meet with me for a dinner in couple weeks, right before Thanksgiving, where they will end the night announcing the winner. It’s like my entire life has finally become what I’ve wanted. I know it sounds lame and cliché that I could feel this way so soon, but I’ve never been happier.
I look forward to the days when Ethan meets us all at the college cafeteria for lunch, like today. Beth usually doesn’t join us, and although I like when she does, I’m guessing she won’t much longer.
“Okay, well I better run. Someone has to open the bar.” Ethan stands and then leans down to kiss me one more time. I slip my tongue into his mouth and he rests his hand on the table to deepen the kiss before leaving for the BA.
“Okay…now I’m taking Beth’s side.” Logan laughs and waves to Ethan when he leaves. “Have you talked to Sara recently?”
“Yes, every morning. Why?”
Logan’s head snaps up and hurt washes over his face. “She hasn’t been answering my calls.”
Shoot, that’s not good.
“I’m sure she’s just busy. She’s having the time of her life, you know. I bet…” The scent of tuna fish floats through the air and I gag. “I bet…” I get another whiff and I barely get my hand over my mouth as my lunch starts to come back up. I dash from the table to the closest trash can.
“Hey, are you okay?” A hand begins to rub my shoulder and then I see a water bottle lower into my vision. I grab it, swish some water around in my mouth, spit it out, and take a seat at the nearest table. Thank god there aren’t many people in here; that was not something anyone wants to see.
“I’m fine.” I say, giving Logan a weak smile before gathering my things and heading home. Now is not the time to catch the flu, because that’s all it could be. I’ve repeated that sentence every day since I started throwing up, and I’m praying I’m right. A nap before work should cure whatever I am coming down with. When I get to work tonight, all I have to tell Ethan is that I have a real shot at this job. That’s it. I won’t have anything else to tell him and the next couple weeks will fly by just as planned until they announce the winner.
And that winner is going to be me because nothing is going to mess up any more of my plans. Nothing.
* * *
Both the columnist dinner and Thanksgiving are just days away. Logan and I slowly make our way down the steps after class lets out for break. I glance up to see Ethan leaning against my car. The weather has been getting colder and the snow has been nonstop. Ethan’s cheeks are rosy, and he’s wearing a red hoodie and dark blue jeans with his legs crossed at the ankles while he plays on his cellphone. He looks sexy as always, and I still can’t believe he’s mine.
When I told him about the paper, he was thrilled and almost more excited than I was.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Ethan greets me pulling me in for a hug and burying his face in my neck. I don’t say anything back, because if I do, I’ll say the wrong thing and start crying and then he’ll ask questions. Questions I’m not ready to answer. He trails kisses from my ear until he reaches my mouth. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. I love these moments, when nothing matters but him and me.
I’m going to ruin everything.
“Dude, really, we’re standing in a parking lot. Save it for later. It was cute a month ago but now, it’s just – just stop,” Logan complains, but deep down I know he doesn’t care. I think he’s still having problems reaching Sara, but I’m not sure how to bring it up. Ethan pulls away, but not before he gives me a few more quick kisses.
“I’d love to stay and continue this, but Logan and I have plans,” he says, s
ticking out his bottom lip and then placing a kiss on my forehead.
“Dude, we’re going to play ball, so you better man the fuck up before we get there. Let’s go,” Logan says, pulling Ethan by his shirt.
“I’ll call you later!” he shouts as he climbs into his truck, where Logan waits impatiently in the passenger’s seat, watching me through the window. I’ve been getting sick a lot in class lately and I threw up twice today. After the second time, he kept looking at me all weird. I avoided making any eye contact with him until class was over, but it was almost like he could read my mind.
I think I’m pregnant.
I drive straight to Sara’s and my apartment. If I remember right, we already have a test there that I can take. This isn’t the first time one of us has been in this situation. I just hope it turns out the same as the other times. I run up the stairs and dash straight for the bathroom, but that door is locked. How is it locked? No one’s even living here.
“Just a minute,” a female voice calls from inside. The waterworks flow instantly at her voice. I can’t imagine a better time for Sara to be home. I need my best friend now more than ever.
She opens the door, smiling, and holds her arms out wide.
“Did you miss— Oh my gosh, what’s wrong?” Her smile drops and she pulls me in for a hug.
“I think I’m pregnant,” I blurt out, but you can hardly understand me over the sobs. If only it was that easy for me to tell Ethan.
“What? How? Who?” She fires the questions at me, but I don’t answer as I walk past her to the sink. I dig around in the medicine cabinet, looking for that stupid box.
“I thought we had a test in here,” I say, trying to pull myself together. She shuffles her feet, avoiding eye contact.
“I had to use it before I left.”
“What! Why didn’t you tell me?” What a pair we make. Wait no… scratch that. What an irresponsible pair we make.
“It doesn’t matter. It was a false alarm. We have more important things to worry about now.” She pulls me to my feet and we leave for the store.
Sara offers to act like it is her test and I let her. Real mature, Kelsey. I’m pretty sure the clerk knows the truth though, seeing as I am the one with bloodshot, tear-stained eyes. Sara looked calm as ever. When we get back to the apartment, I rush to the bathroom. I’m so happy Sara is here. She must have had some friend radar telling her that I needed her. It’s probably just stress, but once this is over, I’ll have to remember to ask her the real reason she’s back.
Chapter Twenty-two
Kelsey
Positive.
That can’t be right.
The purple box I dreaded buying for fear of the results is sitting on the white marble bathroom sink, and when I grab it to re-read the instructions I nearly crumple it into a ball with my grip.
“Minus, minus means not pregnant, plus sign minus means pregnant.” I repeat this to myself until it’s branded into my brain.
I hold the small stick in front of my face once again to see the results. I squint my eyes and pull it closer under the impression this will help me find an error. There is a plus sign and a minus sign. Shit. Pregnant. My heart leaps into my throat, the temperature in the room raises a hundred degrees, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
I groan loudly, covering my face with my hands and sit on the edge of the tub, silently freaking out. I’m going to cry. Breathe, Kelsey, just breathe. Yep, there’s no holding the tears back. What am I going to do? This can’t be happening.
I can’t be pregnant. I’m only twenty-two. I don’t have a full-time job or insurance. I’m a bartender paying for college. I live in a small, two-bedroom apartment with my best friend because I can’t afford a place on my own. I can’t afford a baby. Clearly this test is a dud. I’d better take another to be sure.
“Kelsey? What’s taking so long?” Sara asks from the behind the bathroom door. “I’m ready to crack this bottle of wine open and celebrate the fact we have overactive imaginations!”
Her voice startles me into motion and I stand quickly to open the second test. We went to the store solely to buy pregnancy tests but ended up purchasing two bottles of Moscoto as well. We had high hopes this was just a really bad case of food poisoning.
“Oh, I uh...” Crap. Sara may be acting fully supportive now, but I know she will freak out as much as I am if tell her I am definitely pregnant – with her cousin’s baby, no less. I never answered her questions earlier, and she won’t waste time asking them again. She will drink both bottles right in front of me after I give her the answers.
I can’t think fast enough for an excuse. Wiping away the tears that managed to sneak out with the back of my hand, I turn the sink on, letting the water run on full blast to hide my sniffles. “I just turned some water on, hopefully that will give my body some encouragement,” I tell her, hoping she believes me.
“I told you to drink lots of water first! Did you listen to me? Noooo, you were too anxious to take the test.” She pauses and neither of us says anything. She must have grown tired of waiting because she tells me to yell if I need her before I hear the sound of her bare feet against the tile floor fade as she leaves.
The fact that I can’t even bring myself to tell my best friend that the first test is positive tells me that if the second one matches, I have a lot of growing up to do and I better do it fast.
How am I going to tell Ethan?
I turn the water off after I’ve taken care of business and set the stick on the counter as I wait for the longest three minutes of my life to pass.
Ethan
My father is riding my ass more and more lately. I avoid his calls and keep the ones we do have to a minimum, telling him only what he wants to hear, like all the other times. I can’t keep lying to him because he’s smart. I think he’s already on to me and I need to tell someone. I need someone to tell me how to fix this mess I’ve made. My left leg bounces uncontrollably as I drive to the gym.
“Can I ask you something?” Logan looks at me curiously.
“Sure,” I say, turning onto the gym’s road.
“Why do you want to buy a house here? You always hated this place.”
“Things change. People change. I have a reason to stay here now.”
“Yeah, but you started the paperwork on the house before you and Kelsey hooked up. What’s going on with you two? Because I’ll beat your ass if you hurt her,” he says in a firm voice. I like knowing that she has had someone in her life who looks out for her, but he doesn’t have to do that anymore. I’m not going anywhere, but if I want him to trust me, I need to tell him everything.
“Okay. So hear me out before you say anything and try to keep your fists out of my face until I’m done,” I say, pulling into the gym’s parking lot and turning off my truck.
“My dad wants to take the BA from Sara and her father.” Logan snaps his head at me. The look in his eye is a good warning for how I need to word the next part. “I thought I wanted to help, but not anymore.” His jaw twitches. “I didn’t mean for anything to happen with Kelsey, but it did, and she means more to me than what my father wants. I’ve been lying to him and pretending I’m helping him when I haven’t been doing anything more than what Sara asked of me. She is smart when it comes to that place, and I don’t believe anyone could run it better. But now my dad is on to me, and I have this bad feeling everything is about to blow up in my face.”
“Is that why you started things with Kelsey? To get dirt on Sara for your father?” he asks. “Because if you’re still looking, you’re not going to find anything.”
“No. Everything that has happened between Kelsey and me has nothing to do with my father. And I want Sara and my uncle to keep the bar. Grandpa gave it to them for reason; my father doesn’t deserve it. I just … Kelsey doesn’t know any of this and I don’t know how to tell her.”
“Well, you better tell Kelsey soon because if she finds out what you’re up to from anyone else, she won’t see things
clearly and she won’t be as calm as I am. Now if you’re done being a girl and causing a whole lot of drama in my life, let’s go kick some ass on the court. Oh, and grow a fucking pair. Tell your dad to go to hell,” he says, getting out and slamming the door shut.
He’s right. Max Connelly can fuck off. Kelsey is more important, and it’s time I started acting like it. I’ll tell her everything tonight. If she feels that same about me as I do about her, she’ll understand.
* * *
I pick Kelsey up for dinner and ever since she got in my truck, she’s been acting weird. She hasn’t spoken much, and every restaurant I mention, she’s against it. It started to snow first thing this morning and the roads are getting icy. I hadn’t wanted to drive far, but now we’re driving down the road with no specific destination in mind.
I plan to take her any place she wants tonight. I trust that she will believe me, but having her in a good mood when I tell her why I originally came to help Sara with the bar will help.
My hands are sweaty as I grip the steering wheel. I can’t wait any longer. I need to just tell her. I glance over to see her eyes are glazed over as if she is about to cry.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” I ask her for the hundredth time. Last time she snapped at me, but I don’t know what else to say.
She lets out a frustrated sigh that sounds exaggerated.
“Yes, I’m fine, Now will you please stop asking me that?”
“You’re very snappy, and to me that means you’re not fine.”
“Snappy,” she huffs. “That’s a polite way of calling me a bitch.” She crosses her arms. Her eyes narrow as she fixes them on me, and I’m quickly regretting what I said.
“I don’t mean it like that, You’re just … acting standoffish. That’s all.”
“Let’s just drop it, okay? We can just go to the BA or something. It doesn’t need to be a special night,” she says and her body freezes. “Wait, never mind. Go wherever you want.”
If she wants to go the BA, I’ll take her to the BA. I don’t like it when she isn’t happy, and I will do anything to change that.