by Jami Wagner
She doesn’t say anything as we find a parking spot. Nor does she say anything when we join Logan at one of the tables inside. She just sits in silence, staring off into space, and I really wish I knew what she is thinking right now. I reach my hand under the table to give her thigh a light squeeze. If I knew what was wrong, maybe I could fix it.
Whatever mood she’s in, it isn’t giving me the encouragement I need to tell her about my dad. I don’t want to make her even more upset, and right now that seems to be all I’m doing. Tonight is definitely not the night I tell her, but fuck, I’d better do it before it’s too late.
Chapter Twenty-three
Kelsey
“Ethan,”
The deep boom of a man’s voice causes us all to jump. Standing next to our table is a man whose presence instantly makes my skin crawl. He stands tall, with dark hair and even darker eyes. He scans the table, pausing briefly on each one of us with those disapproving eyes. When his eyes reach Ethan they immediately turn to disgust.
Who is this man?
“So, this is what you’ve been up to.” He stretches his arms to his sides and twists slightly. “And here I thought my son was successfully running a business.”
Son.
Ethan sits still with his head hanging in front of him. He slowly withdraws his hand from mine, and his father watches him the entire time. Now is probably not the best time to make my announcement. Oh hey, you’re Ethan’s father, nice to meet you. Guess what? Ethan’s going to be a father. Congrats, Grandpa.
“Ahhh, and this, I assume, is the reason you haven’t been returning my calls,” his father says, raising an eyebrow directly at me.
I swallow hard and take a breath. Ethan hasn’t moved. An awkward silence falls over the table, and Logan slides out of his chair without saying a word. What could Ethan’s father be so upset about? Ethan’s only covering until Sara comes back— it’s not like he’s preparing to take over. And if my father spoke to me that way, I wouldn’t return his calls either.
“Don’t be a coward, Ethan. Look me in the eye when I’m speaking to you.”
Ethan slowly lifts his head. His eyes briefly meet mine before he looks directly at his father.
“Better. Now get off that stool and follow me to the office,” he demands.
Ethan doesn’t say a word. He just nods and obeys.
I don’t move from my seat until the office door is closed completely. The way Ethan is acting is completely strange. Why would he be afraid of his father? I spring off my stool and quickly make my way to the back room to find Logan. Something is going on and I am going to find out what it is.
“Logan, where are you?”
“Geez, I’m right here, Kels, so stop yelling,” he says, stepping out from behind the linen rack. I position my body right in front of him, putting my hand on my hips with my elbows out. I block any chance he has of getting by.
“What’s going on? What’s Mr. Connelly doing here?” I shout. “And don’t tell me you don’t know, because you slipped away from the table so fast, I know you know what’s going on.”
Logan shakes his head and tries to take a step around me, but I shove my hip into his. “Tell me what’s going on, please, Logan. I’ve never seen Ethan act that way around anyone, and I’m worried.” My voice is beginning to sound desperate, and when a tear sneaks its way out, Logan releases a breath.
“It’s not my place to say anything, Kelsey. Ethan will tell you when the time is right, and with his dad here, I’m guessing that time is pretty close. Just wait till his dad leaves, okay?”
Logan squeezes past me. Wait till his father leaves. What does that mean? His father just got here.
Ethan wouldn’t even look at me. It was like I didn’t exist.
I storm out of the storage room, marching right past Logan, heading straight for the office. Someone’s going to give me answers and they’re going to do it right this minute. My patience has completely disappeared. I intentionally ignore Logan as he begs me to wait with him. What part of “I don’t want to wait” doesn’t he understand?
I raise my fist to knock on the door and stop midair as the yelling on the other side startles me.
“What in the hell were you thinking?” Ethan’s father’s voice gets louder. “Getting involved with an employee nonetheless. Your actions are disappointing. I thought you were better than this.”
Deciding it might be best to wait a minute, I do the next best thing. I eavesdrop. I lean my ear as close as I can to hear the end of their conversation.
“She’s not just some employee, Dad, so stop referring to her that way!”
“I hope you mean as much to her as she does to you. Tell me, what did she say when you told her why you’re here? Did she understand and support you?”
The silence that follows is terrifying. You’re here to help your cousin, Ethan! Tell him.
“I figured. I didn’t think she would support your intentions to pull this bar out from under her best friend.”
What did he say?
“Dad, stop!”
“No, you stop! You’re going to follow through on this plan and you’re going to do it without any distractions, do you hear me? You’re going to find me the evidence I need to steal this bar form my brother even if it means using that little brunette out there to do it.”
My entire body starts to shake as I take a step back. Ethan’s been using me.
I stumble when I bump into a nearby table, and my unbalanced body falls over the surface and onto the ground. I see Logan in front of me and his lips are moving, but I don’t hear anything.
All this time, I thought this was forever. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I believed Ethan when he said this was real. We were going to be a happy family. Turns out I thought wrong and he doesn’t really want me. He is just using me to make his father proud and now I’m left alone and pregnant.
When the office door opens and I see Ethan rushing toward me, I push myself off the ground and dash for the door. It’s still snowing out so I should grab my coat, but I’m in such a hurry I don’t care. I run straight for my apartment across the street.
“Kelsey, stop!” Ethan yells behind me, but I don’t listen. “Stop!”
There’s so much I want to say right now. I should just lay it out there and get the whole situation over with. I start to turn mid-step, but my foot catches a patch of ice and everything goes black.
Ethan
I keep pacing back and forth in the waiting room at the hospital. Watching Kelsey slip wrecked me. I rushed to try to catch her, but I didn’t make it. Her head bounced off the icy pavement, and I didn’t question what to do. I laid her in the backseat of my truck and brought her straight to the emergency room. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have left her and called someone. If she has a concussion, I might have made things worse.
I need to call Sara. I need to call a lot of people. It’s time I confess what’s going on. Even if Kelsey didn’t remember what happened, I won’t lie to her. I will tell her everything. I will tell her the truth. But what if she doesn’t remember anything…or anyone? I run my hand through my hair and begin to pace some more.
I’m alone in the waiting room, which is a good thing. I could go off at any moment and having someone around to witness it or become my punching bag isn’t a good idea. When I hear the door to the waiting room open, my fists are in balls before I’m fully turned around to face the newcomer.
Logan takes a step inside, closing the door quietly behind him. He takes a breath.
“The nurse out there says she’s going to be fine. She woke up, but they say she needs to rest. They want to keep her overnight just to be safe. All in all it’s just a rough bump on the head and nothing to worry about.”
I nod and take a seat. Not worry about her? I can’t do that. She’s always on my mind. Knowing she’s lying in that room because of me and I can’t do a thing to help her, it tears me apart.
“I called Sara,” Logan adds as he sits in
the chair next to mine. “She was already back in town so she will be here soon.” He lets out a deep breath. “You’re going to have to tell her everything you know. Sara won’t accept that this was some freak accident. I think there is a reason Sara is already back, something to do with Kelsey.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong with Kelsey?’ I ask, rising from my seat.
“Calm down, okay?” Logan says as he also stands. He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off and step away from him.
“Look, man. You both have secrets. Hers are just a little more recent than yours. But you both need to grow the hell up and start being honest with each other. Your relationship won’t make it if you keep things from each other.”
I know what he’s saying is right. I knew it before he had to say it. I just never did anything about it.
“That’s if we still have a relationship. You didn’t see her face when I walked out of that office. She heard everything and … well, I don’t think she’s going to forgive me for this.”
“She also thinks you were using her. We both know that isn’t true,” Logan points out.
“I never used her. Everything we had was real,” I say through clenched teeth. Shit. Logan’s only agreeing with me and I’m being a dick. I sit and lean my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. I don’t know how to control the way I feel right now. My whole life is lying in a hospital bed. Without her, I’m nothing.
We sit in silence; no one comes into the waiting room and neither of us leaves. Logan’s cellphone chirps and minutes later Sara’s bursting through the door.
“You,” she growls, pointing at me. “What did you do?”
I stand quickly as Sara marches up to me. She’s less than half my size, but when she’s mad, she can be a real terror.
“Before you try to beat him up, you should hear him out,” Logan tells her as he steps in front of me. “And I mean hear him all the way through. No cutting him off mid-sentence.”
Sara pins him with an intense glare but reluctantly takes a seat next to Logan. I sit down on his other side and tell her everything. Including the part where I fell in love with Kelsey Brian.
Chapter Twenty-four
Kelsey
I wake up to the sound of a machine beeping next to my head. I’m glad the noise is soft because I have a killer headache. My eyes flutter as I attempt to open them. Large windows to the right of my bed fill the room with sunlight, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust. There’s a round table in the far corner under the window that has flowers filling the entire surface. Sara is sitting in the blue chair next to the table, her arms wrapped around her legs as she hugs them close to her chest, her head buried behind them.
The bed squeaks as I try to push myself into a seated position. I give up quickly and grab the remote next to my bed. I always wanted to use one of these. I just didn’t want to be admitted to do it. Sara lifts her head and squints at the light until she sees me and moves to stand next to my bed.
“You’re awake.” She smiles at me. “The doctors thought you would wake up again last night, but you just kept sleeping. I was getting worried.”
“Did you stay here all night?”
“Yeah, Logan called me.” She looks down at her watch. “It’s a little after seven now. I should probably go let someone know you’re awake and call your parents,” she says and leaves the room.
How long have I been in here? I remembering falling, but I don’t remember coming here. Sara returns followed by a nurse who looks like she isn’t much older than us, with bleached blonde hair pulled into a bun and wearing pale blue scrubs.
“Hi there,” she says. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired but I feel good.”
“That’s good news. You suffered a mild concussion when you bumped your head, but things are looking better. It looks like you were quite exhausted. We’ve just been waiting for you to wake up so we can run a few tests and send you home. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. Can I get you anything in the meantime?”
I shake my head to let her know I’m fine. When really I’m not fine because I know what conversation Sara wants to have and I’m not ready to have it. I thought I knew what I was going to do about the baby, but now – after what I heard – I don’t know much of anything anymore. The nurse closes the door behind her and, with one leg bent on the bed and the other hanging to the floor, Sara takes a seat to face me.
“I know things probably seem really unbalanced right now, but I think you should still tell Ethan what’s going on.”
“I don’t want to talk to Ethan.” Yes, I’m mad at him. I’m angrier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I want to scream at him, hurt him the way he hurt me. I don’t want to share the news that not twenty-four hours ago made me the happiest and most scared person on earth. He doesn’t deserve to be happy too. He used me.
Sara releases a heavy sigh. “Look, Kels, I’m mad at him too, alright? He’s been up to some super-shady behavior, and I’m not going to forgive him easily for it, but he has the right to know.”
I don’t have time to argue with her before the nurse returns. She has a clipboard in her hand and she’s writing something down.
“Okay, Kelsey, I just need to ask you a few more questions before we run those tests.” A knock on the room’s door stops her mid-sentence and we all turn to see who it is.
Ethan’s standing in the doorway, wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday and his hair is a mess. His eyes are glazed and red, and his face has a slight stubble. His entire appearance looks exhausted. Good. He looks how I feel.
“Excuse me, sir, visiting hours haven’t started yet. Only family is allowed right now,” the nurse says sweetly to him.
“I’m her cousin,” he says, pointing in my direction. Sara’s sitting next to me and since he wasn’t specific, the nurse assumes he is talking about me. She nods and he steps into the room, moving cautiously around the bed to stand on my other side. I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone right now. He can stay, but I’m not talking to him.
“Alright, Ms. Brian, is there any medication you’re taking or any medical concerns we need to know about before we start?” the nurse asks.
Damn it. I should have asked him to leave.
I drop my chin to my chest and take a deep breath. I have to say it. I have to tell her the truth. Any one of those tests could harm me or the baby.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out and the room fills with silence. My eyes instantly search for Ethan’s and I watch as his face crumbles.
That’s the only look I need to see to be reminded that this entire thing between us has been a sham. A tear slips by, but I control the full waterworks because the one piece keeping me strong now is this baby.
Ethan
Pregnant.
I swallow hard as I lean against the wall next to Kelsey’s bed. Kelsey’s pregnant. With my baby. I take a couple of concentrated breaths before I look up at her. Her gaze is pointing down to her hands where she holds them laced in her lap. I see the tears running down her cheeks and her chest as it moves slowly with each breath she takes. My heart breaks as the nurse looks between Kelsey and me before she quietly excuses herself from the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I step toward her.
Kelsey swallows but doesn’t look up.
“Ethan, you should probably leave for a bit. Give everyone some time to process this.” Sara is standing in front of me, speaking quietly. I force myself to look at her. Leave? She can’t be serious. Kelsey and I have a lot to talk about. How can she not see this? I just found out I’m going to be a father, and she wants me to leave.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say firmly and take a step around her toward Kelsey. Sara grabs my arm, and I snap my head to look her in the eye. What doesn’t she understand?
“Ethan, please,” she pleads. I stare at her for a moment then look back to Kelsey. She’s watching us as the tears continue to spill from her eyes.
<
br /> “Is this what you want, for me to leave?” I ask her. She keeps her red, swollen eyes locked on mine for what feels like the longest moment of my life and then nods.
I want to yell. I want to hit something or even slam her door as I go, but I don’t. I don’t say anything as I leave her room. My heart feels like she just gripped it and squeezed as hard she could.
I haven’t cried in a long time. I’m a man and we don’t cry. I step into the elevator and the doors close in front of me. The elevator is filled with silence, giving my mind more power to yell and scream at me for everything I have done wrong. I want to cry. Cry for the way my heart feels. I want to cry because Kelsey’s in pain because of me. She’s pregnant because of me. She looks terrified because of me. And now she doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I want to cry because I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t know how to fix it.
The one thing I do know I need to do is get my father out of my life. And when I get home to find him parked in my driveway. The anger building inside of me urges me to punch his teeth out.
He opens his door, standing to glare at me. “I sent you here for one thing. Look at the mess you made.”
“You need to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere until I get—”
“Get the fuck off my driveway and out of my life!” I yell. His head jerks back as he stares at me.
“Excuse me? I’ve done nothing but give your spoiled, ungrateful ass everything you have today. You have no right to speak to me that way.”
“I don’t want anything from you, except for you to leave. Take it all. The truck, the house, the bike. I don’t care. The one person who means anything to me is lying in a hospital bed with my unborn child, and she wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t wanted to be accepted as your son so goddamn bad. None of that matters to me now. You don’t matter to me. Just leave.”
“Oh that’s brilliant, Ethan. Add to your mess by knocking up the—”