Waiting for You

by Kasey Croshaw

  To say I was stunned was an understatement. To say that this was one of the proudest days of my life would not be an overstatement. I stood and walked to the podium to accept the award. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to thank the three county commissioners in the audience, Sheriff Lassiter, and Deputy Luker for driving across the state to attend today’s graduation.

  “Thank you to my family for coming all this way to show me their love and support. Grandma Betty and Georgia, thank you for all have done for me my whole life and continue to do for me.” I was looking at them as I spoke and they were dabbing their eyes with tissues to absorb the tears of happiness. “Also, I would like to say to Amber that I love you baby girl. Finally, to Dave, I wouldn’t be standing here today without your unwavering love and support. I love you, man. I would also like to thank the POST staff and trainers for providing this wonderful opportunity.”

  The applause died down, but my heart still was pounding 90 miles per hour as we stood to receive our certificates. We were then given the oath of office and officially pronounced peace officers in the State of Wyoming. This had been very much like sex, after the initial climax, there is the afterglow, and I followed my fellow graduates out of the great hall into the vestibule to meet up with the family and Sheriff Lassiter and his entourage. Pictures were taken, and the Sheriff pinned my badge to my shirt pocket, making me his official Deputy. I was filled with pride.

  Chapter 5

  After we all returned home, Grandma Betty made dinner for us that Friday night. Come to find out, Georgia had closed the café for the day so they could attend my graduation. I was so grateful to all of them. It had been a long day, but the last three months had all been worth it. I wouldn’t start on the job until Monday, and even then, I would be riding with Luker for a week, sort of on the job training.

  Amber fell asleep at the table, and Grandma Betty was fading fast. Dave and I pitched in to clean up and door the dishes, sending Georgia home with Amber and sending Grandma Betty to bed. It was fast and easy, and I was enjoying just spending time with Dave.

  “Did you hear any more about your lead on Natalie’s whereabouts?” Dave asked.

  “Nothing, not a God damn thing. Josh ran her ID again on NCIC, but nothing showed up.

  “Nick Stout don’t use the Lord’s name in vain. You know better,” I heard Grandma Betty screech as she walked back into the kitchen in her flannel nightgown and a hair bonnet on her head.

  “Sorry Grandma, it just slipped out. I thought we sent you to bed,” I apologized.

  “What did I hear you saying about Natalie?” she asked.

  I didn’t want to get into this situation with the family, and I had to open my big mouth, lesson learned. But, then, I thought, Grandma Betty might be able to help, and I had an idea how.

  “Sit down here Grandma and let me tell you a little story,” I said, pulling out a chair from the kitchen table beside Dave. I told her about the shooting at the trailer after I first got back, and about the body that I found. “The guy turns out to be from West Virginia.”

  “I read about that in the Sinclair Gazette,” Grandma Betty remembered. “The article said he was in his thirties. It also said the Sheriff’s Office was investigating a possible homicide. You think this was a murder?”

  “I do believe it was a murder, but more importantly to us, I think he was Amber’s father,” I said. “Remember telling me about Natalie’s baby daddy being a friend of Cleet Jones, an older guy?”

  Well, the other night Cleet was drunk over at the El Dorado and Deputy Luker was called in. Cleet was mouthing off about Natalie’s boyfriend being dead, and he was going to go to Wheeling and bring her home.”

  “Yes, I’ll bet you’re right, but where is Wheeling?” Grandma Betty asked.

  “West Virginia,” I answered. “That is why Deputy Luker was looking at the FBI database to see if he could find anything on Natalie.”

  “That’s wonderful, see you just started, and you’re already solving your first case. Sheriff Jim hired himself a good deputy,” Grandma said, getting up from her chair to return to bed. That was the cue for Dave and me to go home. “I noticed that Deputy Luker. He’s sure a handsome young man, and he seemed very close you both of you.” She stopped and thought for a minute, smiled and asked. “Is he like you two?”

  “Yes, Grandma,” Dave answered, giving her a kiss goodnight.

  “That’s good. I’m glad you two have friends,” she said. “Goodnight boys. I love you, and I’ll see you on Sunday for dinner after church.”

  I gave Grandma Betty a hug and a kiss goodnight before Dave and I walked home. We held hands in the moonlight as the winds of winter began to set up in the high plains of Wyoming. I felt a tear run down my cheek, and I wiped it away. Then another, and another, and before I knew it, I was weeping as Dave pulled me into his arms to comfort me.

  The tears were flowing, and my shoulders quaked. From where this feeling came, I wasn’t sure. Dave’s voice was soothing as he whispered “I love you” into my ear. Standing in the street on a cold November night was strangely calming, and I started to gather my wits about me. I started to laugh as I dried my eyes with the backs of my glove-clad hands. “I’m sorry Dave. I didn’t mean to break down like that. I’m just being stupid. You know I’m not a crier,” I said. “I love you very much.”

  We started to walk the few remaining yards again to the trailer. “I know you don’t cry, but sometimes it’s good to let it out. I know you love me. I was so proud of you today, and I know you did your best because of us and want us to be together,” Dave said. He unlocked the door and led me into the warmth of the trailer.

  My mood was shifting rapidly as Dave other things in mind. His soft, wet lips were pressing against my neck and his teeth nibbling my skin as he moved. I was soon down to my boxer briefs and was helping Dave remove his. He took my hand, and we went down the hall to the bedroom, groping at one another as we moved, until we landed on the bed. I had my own idea of how this was going to go down, and I was planning on giving Dave a mind-blowing experience. He was always doing for me, and I was going to turn that table on him.

  I rolled him onto his back and straddled his torso. Bending forward, I started by giving him sultry kisses to the mouth before working my way over his chin and to the hollow of his neck. That was one of Dave’s hot spots, and I exploited that knowledge, making his body tingle with desires. My lips were swollen, and my hardness was leaking because of my cravings for his body. Using my tongue to stimulate his nipples, I also gave each a very gentle bite, making him wince in pleasure. The soft brown hair on his chest was feathery soft and sensual on my lips as I kissed downward. Over his muscled abs, my mouth kissed and lapped at his hairy treasure trail, moving toward his navel.

  I tongue fucked his belly button for a few seconds, making him giggle. His erect dick was poking the back of my chin at that point and leaving a trail of wetness on my skin. Kissing past his hard cock and went straight to his hairy balls, lapping at the sac that held the large orbs, and finally pulling one into my mouth, releasing it and sucking on the other. He had his hairy thighs pressing against my body trying to keep in place, but I wasn’t going anywhere. With the very tip of my tongue, I licked up the back of his corpulent cock to his cockhead and sank my mouth over the bulbous head. I heard him let out a deep sigh and his hips pushed up to meet my sucking lips. I gagged a little as his cockhead hit the back of my throat, but I kept at it. Now I had my hand involved, and I was jacking him along with sucking him off.

  While I was taking care of Dave, I had been getting myself jacked into action. I climbed up and put each knee on either side of his groin. I leaned way over and opened the drawer of the bedside table to retrieve the lube and a cum rag. I looked over at a Dave. His face told me that he was wanting what I was offering. I bent forward and kissed him as I prepared my asshole with lube before taking his throbbing cock in my hand, making it slick by rubbing it in my ass crack.

  Once the head hit the
spot, I pushed back and felt the initial sting of penetration. I let out a small gasp of air. “Are you okay, Nick? Go slow. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “It’s fine, but wait for just a second,” I said, but then, I pushed again and held my breath. The head popped inside of me and all was fine. I continued to push back, and Dave was pushing forward until he was fully inside of me. I had come to love anal. It was so intimate to have my lover penetrating me, filling me with his love, fucking me with all the urgency a man has to breed. Dave rolled me onto my back, and I wrapped my legs around him to pull him in tight, as he pummeled away, fucking me harder and faster. His breathing was increasing as his animal instincts drove him on. The sliding of his solid cock back and forth against my prostate was also driving me toward the ultimate feeling of release. Higher and higher, we both raced on towards climax, and then it hit. Simultaneous orgasm. It was amazing. Dave’s body was convulsing as he shot wave after wave of his hot semen into my bowels, flooding me with his seed. My sperm jetted from my piss slit, wetting my chest and belly and his. Exhausted and spent, he finally lay on top of me trying to get his breathing to return to normal. Our sweaty, sex-soaked bodies pushed together and remained still for a moment.

  I rolled Dave over onto his back beside me which broke our connection with a pop as his dick pulled out of my sloppy hole. I grabbed the cum rag and held it against my butt as I ran to the toilet to let out what he had just put in me. I cleaned up and came back with a towel to clean him up. Crawling in bed beside him, we curled up together and fell asleep.

  The banging at the front door brought us out of our sleep before the 5:30 a.m. alarm could sound. I jumped up pulling on a pair of sweats as I watched Dave scramble his cute, naked butt into the bathroom. I ran to the front door and found Georgia shivering, holding Amber wrapped in a blanket.

  “Come in, come in, God, it's freezing out there this morning,” I said. I took Amber and put her on the couch to continue sleeping. “Before you head off to open the café, I wanted to tell you something. Dave and I had a conversation with Grandma Betty last night after you left and I didn’t want to think we were leaving you out of the loop, but I may have a lead on Natalie.”

  Georgia’s eyes got big, and she gasped, placing her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, my God, that’s fantastic,” she said, trying not to wake Amber.

  “I don’t want you to get your hopes up. We don’t know anything yet, but I do believe that Natalie is still alive. We think she may be in West Virginia, but we’re still searching. The other thing is that the man who was shot in my yard last summer was probably Amber’s dad,” I said. Georgia gave another loud gasp of surprise, but a look of anger came over her face. I continued to waylay that anger. “I want your permission to take a DNA sample from Amber using a mouth swab and compare it to the results of a guy who was shot.”

  “What good does that do anybody? To prove that her dad was a drug addict, that he was murdered in your front yard?” Georgia cried.

  “I understand that this is hard, but it’s important to figure out if this is the guy who took Natalie away from you, from us, and left us with this little girl,” I said.

  Georgia was silent as she contemplated what I had said. “Okay, I understand. This isn’t about us. This is about Amber and Natalie, and we need answers.”

  I grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug. “Thanks, I knew you would do the right the thing,” I said.

  Dave came into the living room ready to go to work. “Morning, mom,” he said.

  “Hi, sweetheart. Nick told me about Natalie. It’s hard for me not to get my hopes up, but I need to see my baby girl,” Georgia said as she hugged Dave.

  I went back to bed for a while and awoke to Amber crawling in bed next to me.

  “Uncle Nick, the little hand is on seven, and the little hand is on thirty. I think you have to get up now,” Amber said as she squeezed against me.

  I attacked her with tickling fingers. “You awoke the monster,” I said.

  “No, stop. Stop, Uncle Nick. It tickles,” Amber said, squealing in delight.

  “Okay,” I said. “What say you, little one, do you want to be beheaded or do you want waffles?”

  “Waffles, please, Uncle Nick. I want waffles,” Amber said as she giggled.

  “Then, you will wait in the maid’s quarters while I shower and prepare myself for the day,” I said. I was trying to make a game out of our time together.

  Amber left me to shit, shave, shampoo, and shower. I found her in the living room on the sofa playing games on my cell phone. This little girl was smart. I made waffles for the two of us and brewed a pot of coffee for me.

  “You are a very good cook, mister,” Amber complimented me.

  “Thank you, honey, am I as good as Uncle Dave?” I asked.

  “No, but you make good waffles. And Kool-Aid, you make good Kool-Aid,” she said.

  After the little one had polished off two waffles, we cleaned up the mess and headed to Ace is the place to check on my gun safe. I stopped at the check stand to speak with Gary while Amber raced to the toy aisle.

  “Hey Gary, did my gun safe ever arrive?” I asked.

  “Oh man, I forgot to call you. Sorry about that Nick. Yes, it’s in the back, arrived last week. I can get Doug to bring the tow truck over and deliver it to you this morning,” Gary said.

  “Thanks that works for me,” I said. “Now, I gotta find that little girl before she buys all the toys.” I found her sitting on the floor, where else but in the toy aisle.

  “Let’s go, Amber,” I said, standing over her. She didn’t look up and didn’t move. I picked her up, and she started to cry and pitched into tantrum mode.

  “I want the ballerina doll,” she shouted and kicked. My hushing and holding her did nothing to quiet her.

  “No! We are leaving, and until you learn to behave properly, I’m not buying you another doll,” I told her in my strictest voice.

  “But Nick, my Jasmine doll doesn’t have a mommy and no one to play with,” Amber rationalized through her sobbing. Her small arms clung around my neck and nearly broke my heart. She was seeing her world through her toys.

  “Shh, you stop crying. I’ll think about it, but you have to think about your behavior young lady. You can’t just throw a tantrum because you want something. You’re growing up and not act like a baby. Okay?” I said.

  She had stopped her sobbing, but her little body was still convulsing from having cried so hard. I stopped at the check stand, and Gary offered me a tissue for Amber’s tears and runny nose. It was a lesson learned with patience and the unpredictability of children. As I was putting Amber in her booster, she leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek. “I’m sorry, Uncle Nick,” she said in her soft, sweet voice.

  I didn’t respond, and we were both quiet for the short ride back to the trailer. Amber sat on the floor in the living room and watched a Disney DVD. I had to laugh that at her young age she could play games on my cell phone and run the DVD player. My mind was on what she had said in the store about her doll not having a mommy or anyone to with whom to play. Growing up, I had a sister to help me cope, someone older, who could calm me and make things better for me. We had each other.

  Fishing my phone from my pocket, I dialed my sister’s number. “Hi, Maggie, this is Nick,” I said when she answered, “I’ve been thinking about you.”

  “It’s good to hear your voice, Nick,” Maggie said, but she sounded cold and distant.

  “It’s good to talk to you too, Maggie. I wanted to let you know that I’m now a Deputy Sheriff here in Lincoln County for Sheriff Lassiter. I just graduated from the police academy. Can you believe, I was top of my class?” I said proudly.

  “That’s wonderful, Nick. Congratulations. I’m very proud of you,” Maggie told me. Her voice had started to soften, and she sounded more like her old self. I began to relax and enjoy our conversation.

  “I also wanted to share something with you. I’m gay.” I just came right out and said
it. I never had said the word before. Dave and I talked all around it and just accepted that we were gay, but without saying the word. Here I was admitting it proudly to my sister.

  “I thought you might be. Honestly, Nick, I’m happy for you. I love you, and this makes no difference to me. I know that Dad and Mom would have never accepted you as a gay man, but they’re dead and gone, leaving you and me to live our lives free of their judgment,” Maggie said. I could tell she was weeping.

  She was right, of course. We were adults, and we were free of our parent’s mistakes and bad judgments. Living our lives on our terms to be happy was all I wanted and needed. “You remember Dave Weston, Karl’s younger brother? He and I were close friends in high school. When I got back stateside from the Army, he had been waiting for me. I hadn’t realized how much he loved me, but now I do, and I love him just as much. He’s moved in with me, and we are going to make a life together.”

  That conversation seemed to break whatever barriers that had been erected between us over the years. When we were finished talking, Maggie had invited Dave and me to come for a visit and meet her kids and husband.

  “I promise, we will come for a visit. I love you, Maggie. Goodbye,” I disconnected the call.

  I went back to the living room and found Amber in a sullen mood, playing with her toys, but not engaging. I picked her up and sat her on the sofa beside me. I opened one of her favorite books and started to read: “One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and – pop! – out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry.”[i] I read and pointed at the words.

  “Caterpillar,” Amber said with a smile.

  The book was just a little advanced for her abilities, yet, but she was able to say words when I pointed at them. The thing is that she liked reading. That made her happy, which made me happy.

  “He built a small house, called a?” I read.

  “… cocoon,” Amber answered, delighted to be reading along. Her somber mood had changed.