Todd nodded. He had hardly said a word to her all night.
“Are we?” Pam said, to Steve again. “I want to. I want more.”
“Give me a moment,” Steve said.
She sat down beside him. She sat for a moment, but started to feel nervous again. “Alright,” she said. “Fine, I’ll just start without you then.”
She put her hand between her legs because she’d only just found out she liked being looked at, and this seemed about the most certain way to make Todd look.
Not that he wasn’t staring any ay.
She turned her attention to Todd, and while making eye contact with him she started to masturbate. Almost for real, not mostly pretending like she did when Steve asked her to let him watch.
She rubbed herself slowly, and watched Todd, and noticed that when it was just her doing something, Todd seemed to forget Steve was there. He stared at her more attentively, and seemed to relax a little, too. That was interesting, Pam thought.
When she had his full attention, she felt powerful and sexy.
She got up, and went over to Todd. Slowly. He stared at her breasts as she walked. At her face as she got close.
“Don’t touch me,” she teased.
Todd nodded.
She sat down on the sofa beside him, facing him, and kept rubbing herself slowly. He was more focused when she was closer and when Steve wasn’t nearby.
There was something about that stare that turned her on. Something about his fascination that made her very wet.
She closed her eyes and squeezed one of her tits. She might actually come from this, she decided. Just from touching herself with other people in the room.
After a while Steve moved. He came over and sat behind her and kissed her shoulder.
Pam opened her eyes and looked at him.
“Keep going if you want,” Steve said.
Pam nodded. She rubbed a little longer, but the moment was gone. The mood had changed. It wasn’t about her alone; it was about both of them again.
She wanted sex. She moved, still looking at Todd, and pulled Steve in close behind her and then into her. He started moving inside her, pushing hard, a bit desperately, like he was suddenly very turned on, too.
She was bent a little strangely. She was still leaning sideways so Todd could see, and it wasn’t the best angle for sex.
Pam thought about moving, about getting more comfortable. Then she looked at Todd and decided not. She wanted him to keep looking at her like that.
He was looking at her face. She was naked and having sex and he was watching her face.
She thought she knew why. She was close. Close enough she was forgetting to keep her eyes open, was forgetting not to gasp and moan and pant.
She leaned closer so her face was nearer Todd’s so he could see better.
Todd seemed to forget about Steve. It was she and Todd looking into each other’s eyes. It was Steve who was inside her body, but Todd was in front of her face, there for her, in her mind, watching her.
It was a strangely intimate thing to share with Todd.
After all, Todd was a stranger, yet she was doing something very intimate. Steve was the first person she ever told that she masturbated, let alone that she enjoyed masturbating. Now, here she was masturbating in front of this total stranger.
Pam tried to hold back, tried to keep her eyes open, tried to remember not to do anything stupid while she fucked.
There was some connection to Todd here, some contact even though they hadn’t touched. She didn’t want to lose it, but she was close.
She was very close, about to come, and she knew she was going to close her eyes when she came. She couldn’t help it. She pulled Steve against her, pushed back faster, and pressed down with her hand.
She came, and was pretty sure Todd watched her again, as closely as he had the first time.
When she finished, Steve moved Pam around a little to go back to doggie and started fucking her faster. The whole time he was, Todd stared at Pam and Pam at Todd.
It felt almost like cheating, Pam thought, being watched by Todd that closely. It wasn’t, but felt like it.
Steve came, breathing hard, then sat on the sofa. Pam moved and went back across the room to the other sofa, because she didn’t want to stay as close to Todd as she was after they’d been looking at each other so intensely.
She still felt unsettled. Todd’s eyes had been almost too intimate. She went to the kitchen and got a drink water and brought some back to Steve. She decided, looking at Steve, that they were done. He seemed happy, seemed to be looking smug.
“All good?” Pam said to Steve, quietly, as she handed him the glass. “Not jealous?”
“Not at all.”
“You promise? You don’t have to say we’re fine if there’s a problem.”
“I’m fine.”
She nodded, relieved. She glanced at Todd and thought about Steve and decided not to push things. She picked out some jeans and a top from the bedroom and put them on. Todd seemed to take that as a hint and said it had been fun, he was grateful, but he really ought to go.
He shook Pam’s hand again as he left. The formalness of it seemed right, but she also wondered if it was so he had a chance to touch her.
Her right hand. The hand she’d been touching herself with.
She didn’t realize until afterwards.
Chapter 29
am thought a lot about Todd watching her. She thought about the intensity of his concentration and how it had gotten more intense when Steve wasn’t nearby.
She and Todd had shared something while she had sex, and she wanted to feel that again. At least, she wanted to find out what that was.
Pam liked Todd. She wouldn’t ever get into a relationship with him; he was fussy and she had a feeling he was probably one those guys too close to his mother, but she liked him for what he was. And she wasn’t doing anything wrong. Steve wanted to share her with other men. She would never have tried this on her own, or stared at Todd so hard on her own, but Steve had started something. Started her thinking. She wanted to know what this was.
She liked Todd’s attention. She liked Todd being around. She wanted Todd around her more, wanted to feel his stare again.
“I want to do something,” she said to Steve a few nights later. “For me.”
“Okay.”
“I want to hang out with Todd without you around.”
“Hang out?”
“Ah, yeah. Basically. Hang out naked, I suppose.”
Steve looked at her.
“We’ve done your shit,” she said. “I want to do this.”
“Without me, though.”
“Um,” Pam said. “Yeah. There’s that.”
“Why?”
“Because I like how he looks at me when he forgets you’re there.”
“But without me.”
Pam shrugged.
“I don’t know,” Steve said.
“Do you trust me?”
He looked at her, thinking.
“Do you? With what we’ve done lately?”
“Yes.”
“Then trust me. I want to do this.”
Steve wasn’t happy, but he nodded. “Alright.”
Chapter 30
am phoned Todd and said Steve didn’t mind if they did something together.
Todd was quiet for a moment.
“So do you want to?” Pam said, thinking he might not have understood.
“Yes, of course.”
“What?” she said. “I have no idea what you like to do.”
“I don’t care. What do you like to do?”
Pam thought. She worked, and watched TV and went for walks to stay fit. Watching TV was a bit dull, even naked. “Shopping, I guess,” she said. “How about that?”
He said yes, so they went shopping. She didn’t quite understand why he would, but didn’t mind as long as he was into it. Todd was actually quite useful because he had some ideas about what suited her. Almost as
if he’d spent a lot time obsessively watching passing women.
She picked out some things and said she’d go try them on. Todd said quietly, “Can I, too?”
Pam stopped. Suddenly she got it. “Right,” she said. “Yeah, of course.”
Suddenly shopping made sense.
She looked around and thought about where she was and put the tops she’d picked up back on the rack.
“Come on,” she said.
Todd looked disappointed.
“They wouldn’t like it here,” she said. “Everything’s cheap. The rooms are small. We’ll go somewhere nicer where your helping’s okay.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“Yeah,” Pam said. “Just don’t act horny. Look all, you know, advisory.”
Todd grinned and nodded.
They went to a better shop where there were bigger dressing rooms. Pam grabbed some things, fairly haphazardly, and went toward them. Todd followed her inside.
She pulled the curtain closed and stood there, nervous for a moment.
She was finding this a bit odd, but exciting too.
She pulled off her top and took her time trying things on. Todd watched without saying anything. He seemed to be into it.
That was enough.
She tried a couple of tops, and a skirt, and thought about last time she’d done this when she tried to flash the store guy. They were in one of the front dressing rooms. Just outside the door were chairs for waiting boyfriends to sit in.
“Hey,” Pam said to Todd. “Go sit out there.”
He looked confused, but did. She pulled the curtain back an inch, so there was a crack down the side where he could see her.
He watched, and she took everything off quickly; but then she had a feeling he wasn’t as interested as he had been just standing there with her.
“No?” she said, when she came out, and he shook his head.
“Too kinky?”
He nodded.
Pam thought about that. She wasn’t sure what she wanted.
“Do you want to come home with me?” she said.
Todd nodded again.
Chapter 31
hey went home, and Pam tried on more things for Todd in the bedroom. He watched, quietly, but it wasn’t the same as at the mall.
“Okay,” she said after a while. “So what do you want? What really?”
“This is good.”
“But if it could be anything?”
He looked at her for a while. “Just to watch you. And talk. While you do things.”
“That’s what we’re doing now.”
He nodded. “It is.”
“So you want something more?”
He didn’t answer.
“What?” she said. “You can tell me.”
“Would you mind being naked?”
Pam grinned. “Of course. This is weird, but of course.”
She took off her clothes, and then lay on the bed and talked to Todd. It was a little sad, she decided. She was pretty sure this was some intimacy thing, rather than sex. Todd was single and didn’t have anyone at home, and he just wanted this. Maybe he missed hearing someone talk about their day while getting ready for bed. Maybe he’d never had it. So, she talked about her day and let him look at her. Todd listened and looked and seemed happy.
It was sad, yes, Pam thought, and sweet in a way, too, that he could end up almost comfortable with how he was.
“I’ll really do anything,” Pam said after a while. “I like you. It feels like you’re holding back.”
He looked at her and seemed to be thinking.
“Anything,” Pam said. “Anything that isn’t you touching me.”
He looked at her.
“Come on,” she said. “The thing no one else would. You might as well tell me.”
“There’s no one else. I haven’t done this with anyone else. Nothing like this. You’re more than anyone already.”
“So make it perfect. What do you want?”
He hesitated.
“Just ask,” she said. “I’ll only say no.”
She was expecting something about the toilet, or worse.
“Could you touch yourself again? Masturbate?”
She nodded. She already had, so why not.
It made perfect sense, given everything else. She was surprised she hadn’t worked it out on her own.
She rolled over and got a vibrator out her bottom bed-side drawer. She used it on herself while Todd watched quietly, and as she got close she noticed Todd’s face. He was captivated again, like he had been the first night.
Chapter 32
worked it out,” she said to Steve that night. “Todd.”
“Worked what out?”
“Why he’s into this. Why he just wants to watch.”
“Okay.”
“He wants intimacy. Like a girlfriend.”
“That kind of makes sense.”
“He wants to watch me play with myself, too.”
“Are you going to?”
“I did.”
Steve looked at her. She wouldn’t masturbate in front of him, not for real. Not other than pretending while they had sex.
“It’s different,” she said. “You fuck me. This is a thing.”
He nodded.
“I’m going to again,” Pam said. “With Todd. If that’s okay? If you don’t mind? I kind of like it.”
Steve thought for a while.
“Do you mind?”
“Shouldn’t I be there?”
“Just a couple more times on my own. Until he’s used to it. Then you can watch, too.”
Steve kept thinking.
“We’ll have him over and fuck in front of him again,” Pam said. “Okay? But I want to do my thing as well.”
Steve nodded. “Okay.”
Chapter 33
odd came for dinner, and Pam spent the whole meal naked. It was tacky, but Todd and Steve seemed to like it. Then she had sex with Steve, and Todd watched her face. It was strange and intimate like it had been the first time. Looking at Todd as her orgasm came close was more intimate than some sex she’d had in the past. She didn’t quite understand why.
She went shopping with Todd again. She changed in front of him again, and masturbated in front of him again, and he never touched her, never even tried, not once.
She started to get very comfortable with him and how far she was willing to go with this.
Todd watched her come. More than once. He watched her come with a finger in her ass, which not even Steve knew she did. She swore Todd to secrecy first.
Then she said, “I don’t mind if you masturbate, too.”
He looked at her.
She smiled, “I assume you do later. You know, when you are at home alone.”
No answer.
“Do you?”
He nodded.
“Think about me. All of this?”
“Yeah.”
“So do it here. I don’t mind.”
“If you do,” he said, and they masturbated together. She watched and gave him tissues when he came.
Chapter 34
know I said a couple more times,” Pam said to Steve. “But I need a couple more than that.”
“It’s fine.”
“He’s still nervous. And this is weird. But I like it.”
“It’s really fine.”
“Only a couple more. Then I’ll tell him you have to be there, too.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Thank you. And soon, I promise.”
Chapter 35
am wanted to do something for Todd, and she knew what men liked. After all, if it was in porn movies, then clearly men liked it. Pam moved closer to Todd as she pressed her body into his and moaned, “Come on me.”
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