Tough Luck Hero

by Maisey Yates

  * * *

  LYDIA HAD NO IDEA why she was telling him this. She shouldn’t tell him this. She didn’t tell anyone about Frannie. No one here knew.

  But he’d just told her about the swing. The one he wanted for his kids. The kids he didn’t have because he was left at the altar. The swing that wasn’t being used, on the ranch he couldn’t really run because he was so busy cleaning up after his older brother, who didn’t have an ounce of the sense of duty that Colton had.

  She suddenly felt like she was drifting, and not just because of the breeze, or the fact that she was sitting on the swing. But because she and Colton were two powerless control freaks who were truly at the mercy of the world, and everyone in it.

  They were the two most together people in town. That wedding, that wedding that never happened was like a loose thread. And they’d tugged on it and the whole damn world had started unraveling around them and now there was just no hiding the fact that they were as ragged as everyone else.

  If not more so.

  So why not tell him this? She’d told him to fuck her; she could certainly tell him about Frannie.

  “When we were eight, Frannie got sick,” she said, feeling a little colder now. She shivered.

  Colton shifted, coming to sit beside her. She wanted to tell him not to do that. It was too nice. It was too intimate.

  That terrible I word again.

  She cleared her throat and pressed on before she could get too emotional. “She had cancer.” She took a deep breath and tried to move forward. But it was just so hard. She had never told anyone, she realized then. It wasn’t just that she didn’t like to talk about it. She had never, ever told anyone. The people around them knew, of course. Because Frannie was sick for years and by the time she slipped away, everyone knew it was coming.

  Then, after years of still living there, still living with it, she had moved and she hadn’t brought any of it with her.

  Why are you doing it now?

  She wished she weren’t but it was too late to go back.

  “It was so strange,” she said, her voice getting thicker as her throat got tighter, “watching her change. Watching as she started to look less and less like me. It seemed wrong. Like she was moving further away from me, on this road I couldn’t follow her down. One I wouldn’t have wanted to—” She blinked and shook her head. “But it didn’t seem right. Or fair. It’s just not fair. But nothing about life is. I learned that when I was eight. To be like someone in every way...and to watch as they get betrayed by this body you both share while you’re just fine is... There’s nothing natural about it.”

  He didn’t say anything. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. She looked down at his forearm, at the muscle revealed there by his rolled-up shirtsleeve. She could feel his heart beating against her shoulder blade, and it felt good in the strangest way. To sit here with another person who knew the truth.

  “It changed everything,” she said.

  “Losing her?”

  She took a sharp breath, and it caught in the center of her chest. She thought about telling the truth, but she didn’t think she could. Not when he was giving her an out. “Yes.”

  The sickness changed it all first. Took her friend. Her playmate. Took the smiles from the house, and everything else along with it. Everything big. Everything that mattered.

  “How old were you?” he asked.

  “We were fifteen when she died.” She swallowed hard. “That’s ridiculous. It’s terrible. She never even got t-to drive or go on a date or...” Lydia blinked hard, and a tear rolled down her cheek, splashing onto Colton’s hand. “It doesn’t make sense,” she said finally.

  “And you left home when?”

  “Well, initially when I was eighteen. I went to Oregon State University, which put me a few hours from home. And on a road trip, I drove through Copper Ridge and I thought...I thought this place looked like an old black-and-white movie. I thought I could be happy here. I thought maybe it could be that other half of me. And it has been,” she said, pressing on, her tone determined. “It has been.”

  “You don’t like to go back,” he said. She was afraid that there was a little bit of accusation in his voice, but she understood it. Her parents had lost a child, and then she had left. She had to contend with that guilt already. The fact that Colton might judge her...well, she understood. She judged herself sometimes. Even though, ultimately, she felt like she had made the right choice.

  “No,” she said, “and it gets harder, not easier. That’s the thing about running away.” She hated to call it that, but she supposed it was honest. “You think that maybe distance will clear your head. But it just continually reminds you why you left in the first place. So you leave again. And then you leave again. And that part gets easier. Every time.”

  “Maybe that’s why my brother never comes back.”

  She knew him well enough to know that he didn’t mean to hurt her with that comparison, but all things considered, it kind of stung. “Maybe. You don’t know what happened with him?”

  “I just assume that he left because he didn’t want to fall in line with my dad. Which I imagine didn’t go over very well. You don’t oppose my father unless you don’t want him in your life.”

  “But you don’t know why?” she asked, pressing gently. “I mean, not for sure.”

  “Now you’re making this about me.”

  “Full circle,” she said. “It started about you.”

  “But you... I’m sorry. We should be talking about you.”

  “I don’t particularly want to talk about me. There’s a reason that you haven’t heard that story before. There’s a reason it doesn’t make it into campaign speeches. I’m not interested in a pity vote. I’m not interested in using my sister’s life or death to enhance my life in any way.” That was only part of the truth, but it was good enough.

  “Regardless, you told me.” He cleared his throat. “I feel like...I guess, that we should discuss it.”

  “Why?” she asked, feeling almost like she had found some of her composure again. “So that I can cry? Get it all out? It’s been fifteen years.”

  “It still hurts,” he said, and she knew that he was talking about his loss too. The abandonment of an older brother that he didn’t even want to come home.

  “Nobody tells you that emptiness is so heavy,” she said. “But it is. Losing somebody carves this hole out inside of you, and it’s so useless. This void that lets you know something is missing, always, but somehow adds weight to your every step. But, while it never goes away, you do get used to it. You get strong enough to walk with the extra burden.”

  He didn’t say anything. He tightened his hold on her and pushed the swing slightly with his foot. She didn’t need him to say anything, anyway. It was just nice to have someone understand for a second. At least, she would pretend that he understood. She knew he didn’t understand all of it. That part that he perceived as abandonment. But he was still there. Still sitting with her. So she supposed that he didn’t find her completely reprehensible.

  “It’s amazing how much the lack of someone can change things. How someone being gone can make you see just how much they did when they were here.” Colton’s voice was soft, low in her ear. “I don’t think I ever felt my brother as much as when he wasn’t there.”

  Lydia took a deep breath, trying to banish the tenderness in her chest. She felt like she had been opened up, and that something of Colton had gotten inside. It was exhilarating and terrifying. She wasn’t sure she liked it. Feeling close to someone. Feeling like someone knew. Like someone had an insight into who she was.

  Not just anyone. Colton.

  She didn’t particularly want to be vulnerable in front of anyone, but only a few short weeks ago she would have said he was probably the last person on
earth she wanted to show any weakness in front of. And here she was, presenting herself to him without barriers in place.

  It was an extension of the madness from last night, she knew. But knowing that didn’t mean there was anything she could do to stop it. She was bleeding out emotionally and she had no idea what to do to stop it.

  She wanted to make it stop. Wanted to make it so she was somewhere else. Or so she was at least thinking a little bit less.

  She angled her head and reached up, running her fingertips along his jawline. His dark gaze met hers, and she saw the same thing there. The desire to pull back. Regret, because he had said more than he wanted to. Because they had both revealed more than they normally would have.

  She rescued them both. She closed the distance between them, kissing him. She intended to blot out the emotion with physical desire, but there was something different about this kiss. She waited for the fierce current of need to sweep them both under. It was there. There was no chance it wouldn’t be. But it simply swirled around them, didn’t drag them under. She was firmly in the present, caught up in the need that he made her feel, but far too aware.

  Aware of who she was. Aware of who he was.

  She closed her eyes tight, deepened the kiss. She lost herself in the sensation, determined to drown in it. The velvet slide of his tongue and the masculine scent of him. The sweet ache of desire that built down low inside of her. Drowning out some of the pain in her heart. Stripping an edge from it, leaving it dull, rather than lethally sharp. But it was still there. Radiating outward, competing with her desire now.

  “I think we had better take this inside, don’t you?” he asked after a few moments.

  “I think you’re right.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  WHEN HIS SISTER’S frantic texts called him off the job site the next day, Colton was less than amused. Still, he got in his truck and drove down to the Chamber of Commerce, as directed by an overenthusiastic Sierra.

  When he got there, the two of them were already in the parking lot. Sierra was carrying a binder that was large enough to obscure her baby bump, and Madison was simply standing there, looking as placid and unreadable as ever. Which meant that something shocking was likely to come out of her mouth. Although, with Madison, that was usually the case.

  “What exactly are the two of you doing here? And why did you need me?”

  “Planning your wife’s party!” Sierra said.

  For once, it didn’t seem strange at all to have Lydia’s image in his mind when someone said the word wife. He didn’t think of Natalie much at all.

  “I see. And does my wife know that you’re coming?”

  Maddy waved her hand. “No. But since the West family is so generously allowing her the use of our property, I don’t suppose she can be too bent out of shape over planning it on our time.”

  “My dearest lady of leisure,” Colton said, “not all of us spend a very small amount of time teaching riding lessons and the rest of our time polishing our nails. Some of us have work that’s a little more demanding.”

  “Bite me, Colton,” Madison said, flashing him a brilliant smile. “I work more than forty hours a week, you degrading jackass. Anyway, your sister could go into labor anytime over the next couple of weeks, so we have to plan it around her and her cankles.”

  Sierra scowled and looked down. “I do not have cankles. They’re a little bit swollen. But there is still a calf and an ankle. But Maddy has a point. I’ve been having a lot of Braxton Hicks. And given the things that they say induce labor, I have a feeling I’m going to go early.”

  “What things?” he asked.

  Sierra arched a brow. “Things you don’t want to hear about, dearest brother. Things concerning my husband and the fact that he doesn’t mind my cankles.”

  “Okay, you’re right, I don’t need to know. Now, let’s go ambush my wife with your binder.” Colton followed his sisters across the parking lot and toward the building. “So you have a plan now?”

  “Yes,” Maddy said. “Dad is paying for everything. It’s his contribution.”

  “I see. And why hasn’t he called me about any of this?”

  “Have you been pestering him? Because I have.”

  “No,” he said, “I haven’t talked to him at all.”

  They had one hell of a weird family—there was no denying that. His father depended on him to do his bidding, and yet, rarely made contact. His mother, on the other hand, was in frequent contact, and it was unusual for him to go more than a week without talking to his sisters.

  And then there was the half brother.

  Yeah, he didn’t really want to think about his family right now.

  When they walked in, Marlene was sitting at the front desk, as she had been the last time he had come into the Chamber. “Hi, Marlene,” he said.

  The older woman smiled, then blushed. “Well, hello, Mr. West.”

  “Colton. And these are my sisters, Sierra and Maddy.”

  Marlene made all the requisite comments about Sierra being ready to have the baby any day now, asking for the gender and the due date, and all of the things that people seemed unable to hold back in the presence of a pregnant woman. Sierra, for her part, was long-suffering and friendly.

  The extricated themselves as quickly as possible and went down the hall, toward Lydia’s office.

  “You’ve obviously been here before,” Maddy said, treating him to an assessing look.

  “Yes, I have been to my wife’s office before.” He knew that his sister was still a little suspicious about the circumstances of his marriage. He would love to be defensive about that, but in this case, the suspicions were correct, so there really was no ground for him to stand on.

  “Very supportive.”

  “I am supportive, Madison. As you should well know.”

  Madison made a jerk off motion with her hand. And then turned and knocked on the door to Lydia’s office.

  “Come in.” At the sound of Lydia’s voice, his stomach twisted tight. He wanted her, that easily, that simply. He wished that he was not with Sierra and Madison, because he wished that they could be alone. He wished that he could fulfill that fantasy he had had about taking her over her desk.

  Madison was eyeing his face speculatively, and that killed his fantasy a little bit.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open. “Hi.” Her voice turned instantly cheery. “We thought it might be a good time to come and plan your election night party.”

  Lydia tilted her head to the side. “Okay. I mean, it is, but usually I have appointments...”

  “I called ahead,” Madison said. “Not you, but the woman who works at the front desk, Marlene? She said you were free.”

  Maddy took her seat in front of the desk, and Sierra took the other available chair. Colton leaned up against the back wall, only shrugging his shoulders when Lydia looked up at him with about a thousand questions in her dark eyes.

  “I brought some ideas for setting. And theme,” Sierra said. His sister was making a little bit of a name for herself with interior design, after having done her husband’s new brewery. Obviously she was now extending this skill to planning family events.

  “That’s very... That’s very nice of you,” Lydia said, looking more scared than excited.

  “You’re family. And of course we want to support your campaign.”

  Maddy tapped her fingers on the desk. “Of course.”

  “Thank you,” Lydia said, shooting him another look. He treated her to another shrug.

  They started going through guest lists, and practicalities regarding setting up screens so that they could watch as the news of the election results was announced.

  “Oh,” Sierra said. “Do you have
any family from out of town you want to invite? We’ll make sure we give them a table of honor.”

  Lydia’s expression went stony. “No.”

  Sierra frowned. “No one?”

  “She said no,” Colton said, pushing away from the wall and walking toward the desk, his chest tightening. “Just leave it.”

  Lydia shot him an irritated look. “It’s fine,” she said to Colton. “Thank you for thinking of everything.” She directed that comment to Sierra.

  Truly, he did not feel like she was grateful enough for his intervention.

  “Well,” Sierra said, her tone conciliatory, “you will have family there. Because we’ll be there. You’re part of our family now.” His sister sounded like she was getting choked up, which was kind of par for the course with her hormones at the moment.

  Lydia reached across the desk, patting Sierra on the hand. “Thank you. That’s...very sweet.”

  “I think that covers everything important,” Madison said, standing, and encouraging Sierra to do the same.

  “I’ll call you if I have any more questions but I would like to make it so that I handle as much as possible. I don’t want to make this any more work for you,” Sierra said.

  Lydia eyed Sierra’s stomach. “I’m pretty sure I’m more worried about your workload.”

  “I’m ready to pinch-hit should she go into labor before the party,” Maddy said.

  “I’m not worried about the party. I’m worried about exhausting a pregnant woman.”

  Sierra waved a hand. “I’m young.”

  Maddy nodded. “Obnoxiously so.”

  “If it gets to be too much for you...”

  “I’ve got it,” Maddy said. “Everything will be fine. This won’t make more work for you.”

  “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all. I just... Why are you doing all of this for me?”

  “Because you’re family. Because this matters to Colton if it matters to you, and that makes it matter to us,” Sierra supplied.