Ruined By Power (Empire of Angels Book 2)

by Zoey Ellis

  Cam scowled. “You don’t need to worry about me.” Then he realized what she said. “When have you flown at night?”

  She was quiet for a moment. “The nights you haven’t come back.”

  “What?” Cam pulled his hand from between her legs. “What do you mean?”

  She didn’t reply, but they had arrived at his quarters anyway. He landed gently on the balcony and turned her toward him. Tears glistened in her eyes, and suddenly he was unsure of himself.

  “There have been nights you haven’t come home, Cam,” she said quietly.

  Cam shook his head. “No. Thea, I always come. I look forward to it.” He lifted a hand to her face. “I cannot continue for long without seeing you.”

  “It hasn’t been a lot,” Thea admitted, leaning into his palm. “Only a few times. But when you did arrive the next day, you were… different.”

  Cam tensed. “Different, how.”

  Thea lifted her shoulders and averted her eyes. “It’s like you were a shell. You don’t speak to me, you don’t smile, you don’t respond to anything I say. There’s a darkness in your eyes that’s…” She glanced up at him. “You just want to have sex and lie in bed. Then you’re gone the next morning.”

  Cam’s heart dropped as those nights came back to him in fragments. There were times he hadn’t been able to return and had been out of his mind by the time he did. They seemed fleeting and distant to him but, for Thea, it would be more frequent. He pulled her to him, pressing a kiss on her forehead and wrapping her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Thea.”

  “I worry, Cam,” she continued into his chest. “I worry about what this assignment is doing to you. And now it’s clear you don’t even remember that you don’t come back sometimes—”

  Cam moved to the couch and settled them both on it, taking her hands in his. “Thea, this assignment is more complex than I thought it would be,” he said. “The Legion task force is bigger than usual and they’re planning something on a large scale. It’s been difficult for me to make progress so sometimes I have to take the chances to disable them when I can. And it doesn’t fit neatly into the week so I always end up having Sundays free to come back to you.”

  “That’s not a problem, Cam. I understand that. But I’m concerned about what happens to you when you’re out there. You change, you’re different.”

  Cam held her eyes, unsure how to tell her that he simply becomes a monster. He didn’t know at what point his tumultuous rage took over, but when it did he lost all track of time. In truth, it had helped him to get further in the assignment, but he wasn’t willing to address that. The moments he came back to Thea eased the pressure off, but the rage still had him in its grip. Until tonight—until her bra.

  He squeezed her hands. “That is how I’ve always been in the midst of an assignment, Thea. You don’t need to worry. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m not tending to you properly, but spending time with you is the only thing that helps me to refocus. I don’t know how much longer it will take but it’s better I’m thorough. I just need you to not worry.” He leaned in and kissed her.

  “What if other Powers were to help you with the assignment?” she said, as he pulled away. “Take the pressure off you.”

  He laughed. “That’s not necessary, Thea. And that’s what the task force are expecting. It’s better if it’s just me.”

  She stared at him, a flush rising at her neck, her nipples still hard. She lifted her hand and brushed her fingers over his mouth. “You haven’t laughed like that since before the assignment,” she whispered.

  Cam’s chest tightened, disappointment in himself rising. He had sworn he would do whatever it took to get her to trust him, and his behavior lately had not shown he’d had her needs in mind. He pulled her onto his lap, resting his head on her breasts. Her hands found their way to his hair. “You can go see your father.”

  Thea’s breath hitched in her chest. “Really?”

  “But only if I come with you.”

  She squealed and hugged him tight. “I was hoping you would say that.”

  He lifted his head to her neck and kissed it. “And Thea?”

  “Yes, Cam.”

  “It’s never that I want to just have sex when I come home.” He rose to look in her eyes. “That might be where it ends up going, but it’s more than that. I can’t explain it. I need to be close to you. And being with you at your most vulnerable and most beautiful, it helps me to go back out there.”

  Thea feigned a frown and crossed her arms, though he noticed the blush on her cheeks. “So I’m most beautiful when I’m having an orgasm?”

  Cam lifted his shoulders. “Well, I thought so until I saw you poking that tongue out at me tonight.”

  Her laughter set his mind at ease and lifted his spirits. As he lay down on the couch to hold her until morning, he told himself he needed to do better.

  Chapter Seventeen

  THEA

  “—so you just need to act as though everything is normal,” Dani said, as she and Thea made their way to the nearest portal. “The only time he gets confused is when people act like he’s weird, then he starts to second guess himself and his memories lose their strength.”

  “Okay,” Thea said, trying to remember everything she was saying about her dad. It was hard to believe he would actually be lucid and communicable when she saw him. A tinge of both excitement and nausea kept her wired.

  Dani stopped outside a tall soft-pink building. Thea had learned during the searching of her mother’s charges, that portals in the Angel Realm were golden archways attached to the side wall of most of the buildings. It seemed like any who used them would walk directly into the wall of the building, but actually, the archways took angels to the portal nearest to the place they intended to go. However, on the return, angels would materialize at certain areas called ‘arrival grounds.’ There were only two in the small area she had become familiar with during her time in the Angel Realm, and everyone was almost anal about keeping those areas clear at all times.

  “Ready?” Dani asked.

  “We have to wait for Cam,” Thea said, glancing up at his building to see if he was on his way. She left earlier than him so they wouldn’t arrive together.

  Dani’s eyes widened. “Camael is coming with us?”

  Thea nodded. “He wants to make sure we’re safe.”

  Dani frowned. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

  “He’s been on a dangerous assignment lately, and since he trained me, he wants to make sure I’m not targeted,” Thea said, trying to stick to the truth as much as possible.

  Dani practically melted and went all dreamy-eyed. “That’s so sweet of him.”

  Thea couldn’t help but grin with her. “Yeah, it is.”

  “You never know,” Dani said, giving Thea a knowing look, ”maybe he’s ready for another mate.”

  Thea’s grin faltered. “Another mate?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think I’ve heard of him doing anything like that for someone before.” Dani shrugged. “Maybe he’s healed now. That’s great.”

  Thea frowned. “Healed from what.”

  “His intended mate dying.”

  Thea’s mouth dropped open, a sinking feeling coiled in her stomach. “What?”

  “Well, angels can arrange to have mates—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know all that,” Thea said hurriedly.

  “Well Cam’s mate died,” Dani said. “I think it was in some demon attack. I don’t know the full story but apparently, it was pretty brutal.”

  Thea struggled to breathe. Cam had a mate before? Why the fuck didn’t he ever say anything? “How do you know?”

  “Oh, everyone in the Realm knows Camael’s story. He had a seriously hard time when he lost his mate and vowed never to take another one. Such a sad thing to happen before they were even mated. It was after her death that he did his most impressive kills. He killed demons like a machine for two millenniums. He’s always come across moody, grumpy, serious… at least, that
what people have always said. I don’t think he’s like that at all.”

  Thea hummed in response but her mind raced, searching for any memory where Cam had mentioned a past mate. She couldn’t recall any.

  “Was she an arranged mate or a natural mate?” she asked.

  “Arranged,” Dani said. “But they were obviously close if he went a bit crazy after her death. Maybe he did truly love her. I don’t know.” She gave Thea a sideways glance. “But I do know I’m never asking him that question.” As she chuckled, Thea smiled, trying to hide the disappointment resounding in her.

  Cam had had a mate once before that he cared for deeply. And he chose not to tell her, even after she had clearly told him she wanted to know everything. Maybe he didn’t think it was important—it did happen way before they even met. And yet part of her still felt betrayed. This history about him was important, and he had decided to keep it from her. Maybe he thought she couldn’t handle it after how she behaved with him when she had arrived in the Realm. Maybe with all of this new information about her mother, he didn’t want to add more to her plate. But that wasn’t a good enough reason. Not when everyone else in the Realm knew. Not when their actual relationship started way before she even arrived here.

  “Ah, here he is,” Dani said, her voice in awe.

  Thea lifted her gaze to watch him descend, and couldn’t help but smile. He had such a powerful nature everything seemed to stop when he was near.

  “Dani, Thea,” he said curtly, nodding to them both. He gestured to the archway and said to Dani, “After you.”

  As Dani headed through the archway, Cam shot a smile at Thea and she blew him a kiss, instantly deciding she would focus on her father for now. She could always talk to Cam before he went back on the assignment and find out what had happened and why he hadn’t told her. He had done so much for her—he deserved the chance to explain.

  ***

  Dani led Thea and Cam from the portal along a quiet street to the care home. As they went, Dani chatted about the different caregivers; which ones looked after Thea’s father and which ones were only there for the money. As they approached and entered the home, nervousness fluttered within Thea and she slowed, her heart racing. She hadn’t seen her father in so long, she wasn’t even sure how much time had passed in the human world since she said goodbye to him when she left with Cam. Her nerves gave way to guilt.

  Cam slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. She glanced up at him and he nodded at her, before moving away as Dani turned to them both.

  “When we go in, don’t mention anything about me to Mark, I mean your dad,” Dani said. “He has never seen me and I think, if you want to get answers, it has to feel like it’s just you and him—no new stimulus for his brain to have to wrap around.” She smiled at Cam. “That means you can’t let him see you either. It’s probably best we don’t even speak at all, in case he senses us. His mind is already sensitive.”

  Cam grunted in response.

  “Once we’re in there,” Dani continued, turning back to Thea, “just talk to him like everything’s normal and then ask your questions.”

  “But will he remember why he’s even in here?” Thea said. “Will he remember our previous conversations? How can I act like everything’s normal?”

  “Most of his memory is healed,” Dani explained. “So he remembers everything up to a certain point. But where there has been severe damage, things will slip by him that he can’t hold on to or might not remember at all.”

  Thea’s throat closed up. “Severe damage?”

  Dani nodded, sympathy all over her face. “There’s some severe damage there, Thea. There are things he’ll never remember. That’s why we needed to do this now. As time goes on, his memories may become distorted. Some things he will be clear about for the rest of his days, whereas other things, he’ll need help.” She glanced at his door and then peered back at Thea. “Ready?”

  Thea nodded, squaring her shoulders. The receptionist signed her in and led her to his door. Thea knocked and her father called from the inside. She opened the door into a large, colorful room with a bed in one corner and a TV in another. In front of the TV was an armchair, where her father sat. He still looked the same—gray hair and gentle eyes—but seemed much healthier, with a colorful glow to his skin, and an alertness she hadn’t seen before. As he saw her, his face stretched in clear surprise and he jumped up.

  “Thea!” He rushed over to her, hugging her. “Where have you been, sweetheart? I’ve been waiting for you to come and visit for ages!”

  “Sorry, Dad,” Thea said, hugging him back. “I was away.”

  Her dad pulled back, a frown on his face. “Oh yeah, traveling, right? Amber said you were enjoying it, but she hasn’t heard from you in a while. You should call her.”

  Thea couldn’t stop the grin from forming on her face as he led her into his room. He remembered!

  “You know it’s dangerous for a young girl to go about traveling the world on her own,” her dad said, dropping into his armchair and giving her a disapproving look. “You had me worried. If I had known you’d be away this long, I’d never have allowed it.”

  Thea laughed as she sat opposite him on the end of his bed. “Allowed it? Dad, I’m twenty-two. I’m a big girl now,” she said, somewhat sarcastically.

  Her dad snorted. “A big girl who can’t even remember her age. Twenty-three, Thea.”

  She paused, confused.

  “You didn’t call on your birthday,” he continued.

  Thea glanced at Cam and he nodded. Her birthday had already passed in the human world, but she didn’t even feel like she had gotten used to being twenty-two. No wonder all the angels in the Angel Realm looked like they never aged.

  “Amber has been going out of her mind. She said you’ve never spent a birthday apart since you were seven.”

  Oh no, poor Amber. Cam had said she couldn’t visit Amber yet but that she could call her. She would have to grovel to get out of not at least calling on her birthday.

  He rose from his chair. “You know, I should let her know you’re here.”

  “No, wait Dad,” Thea said quickly. “I’m going to call her as soon as I leave, I promise.”

  Her dad pressed his lips together. “Make sure you do,” he said sternly, returning to his seat. “That girl has been coming to see me for ages and she’s not even my own daughter. You shouldn’t make her worry.”

  Guilt surged again in Thea, but she pushed it away. She had to get to the point of why she was there.

  “I need to talk to you about the angels. Again.”

  Her dad stiffened.

  “About Mom. I need answers, Dad.”

  He fidgeted in his chair. “Do we need to talk about it again?”

  “We didn’t talk about it properly last time,” Thea said, almost defensively.

  Dani moved to face her, behind her dad, shaking her head. She turned her attention to Thea’s father, her palms twisted to face him. She was clearly working on his mind, probing it with her abilities. Her dad relaxed into his chair, his eyes on the TV. Thea waited until Dani nodded at her before she continued.

  “I need you to tell me about Mom,” Thea said, her voice quiet. “We haven’t talked much about her, but there’s something I need to know. I need you to tell me everything, Dad.”

  Her father looked at her, guilt and regret clear on his face. “You told me you could see them. Is that still true?”

  Thea nodded.

  He sighed. Then after a long moment, he nodded.

  “I used to work uptown for a marketing firm,” he began. “I was a favorite on the design team because clients always wanted my ideas. I made the company loads of money and got them great attention and referrals, and so I earned a lot of perks. I started to spin out of control—drinking, partying, girls, drugs…” he glanced away from Thea. “Many things I’m not proud of now. I began to struggle to create the ideas that my company hired me for, and soon my boss was giving me ultimatums to come up
with ideas for the many clients that wanted to utilize my talent, or he would demote me. We argued constantly. I was under a lot of stress, I started to lose weight, my hair began falling out—I was a mess.

  “I starting walking in the city at night to clear my mind and began to feel better, calmer. I felt like someone was walking with me. I thought it was my muse, so I began to talk to her. I told her about the pressure I was under, how annoyed I was that my creativity was being forced. I complained about my life, about being alone, how disappointed I was with my behavior, how much I missed my parents, how I expected to have a big family by now with loads of children.” He paused, tears forming in his eyes. “And my muse listened and inspired something so strong in me I couldn’t name. She gave me courage, faith, and resolve to improve. Before I knew it, I was back on top. I was healthy, my ideas were some of the best I’d ever had, my boss loved me again, and I was once again the golden child. I won design awards and became hot property. Other companies began offering me jobs all over the country, but I didn’t take them. I stopped going on my nightly walks but still felt the presence of my muse and still spoke to her.

  “Then…” he paused, swallowing. “I became infatuated with one of my clients. She was the CEO of a women’s sports brand and wanted to work with me on my ideas. We had many late nights at the office and one thing led to another. We were terrible for each other and the relationship was destructive. She used the fact she was my client to force me into things I didn’t want to do on the project. I began to drink again, I stopped talking to my muse and lost my creative edge again. Finally, the result of the campaign was terrible. The client walked away from it, and me, and my boss was furious and fired me. I lost my apartment and moved to a crappy part of town. I ended up going back to walking during the night, and then I realized; I could no longer feel my muse. That scared and worried me more than anything else. I felt abandoned and fell into a horrible despair. I didn’t even know when the feeling had gone, but I was desperate to get it back so I did everything I could; took classes, prayed, traveled, made amends with anyone I had wronged, even endangered my life doing mad stunts to try and get some of that feeling back. When I realized I’d never get it again, I didn’t see any point in living. My creativity was all I had and if it was gone, I was nothing. I bought enough alcohol to drown my sorrows and settled myself on the roof of a building. I didn’t expect to wake up the next day.”